Work Text:
----- Thursday, March 25 -----
Brian created the channel #but-his-emails.
Brian added Gregory, Jess, Brex, Justin, Paula, and 15 others to the channel.
Brian [1:38 PM] Just thought TW should have his own dedicated channel. @Gregory you okay dude? You good?
Gregory [2:12] lol
Gregory [2:13] you guys wanna see a really weird one
Paula [2:13] YES
Brian [2:13] 100%
Justin [2:13] always
Gregory [2:14] >> On Saturday, January 2, at 9:19 PM, Tom Wambsgans wrote:
>>Oh Greg.. you’re a true Picasso of passive aggressive karate
----- Friday, March 26, in #but-his-emails -----
Gregory [11:48 AM] …………
>> On Friday, March 26, at 11:36 AM, Tom Wambsgans wrote:
>> Knowing your self worth is extremely important Greg…. I have worked INCREDIBLY hard to get
>> where I am and NOTHING can take that away from me. I know my value and I REFUSE to be
>> denigrated and mocked by cretins who have achieved A FRACTION (if that) of what I have
>> accomplished throughout my career (both at Waystar and before)…. accomplishments which have
>> thankfully given me the perspective and GRACE to brush off the ignorance and haters and continue
>> moving forward building this empire I have always dreamed of.
>> Regards,
>> Tom
Paula [11:49] @Gregory What was the context???
Gregory [11:49] laughed when a homeless guy downstairs said he carried his umbrella like a “Mary Poppins gay-ass”
----- Monday, April 5 in #executive-floor -----
Justin [6:56 AM] Just took the elevator w/RR and hot guy from Furness’ team. RR referred to LLF as “your crazy ex-boyfriend” more than once, couldn’t tell if it was shit talk or serious but :eyes:
Paula [6:56] hot
Brian [6:58] @Jess?
Jess [7:02 AM] No comment but that would explain a lot
Paula [7:04] wdym? @Jess spill
Jess [7:25] Sorry, will explain later?? Rabbit ate a bagel??
Jess [7:33] Does anyone have access to the drive right now and can give me the phone # for the concierge vet. Phone not loading Excel docs right now and it’s not in Dropbox
Jess [7:49] Concierge vet is in MYKONOS right now??? LLF is saying to just call the regular human doctor instead. Anyone dealt with this kind of thing before? I’m at a loss.
Brian [7:50] Wtf. What kind of bagel was it?
Jess [7:52] Unclear - I’m hearing cinnamon raisin
Gregory [7:55] ew
Jess [7:55] @Gregory not helpful
Paula [7:56] @Gregory wasn’t there an incident with Mondale and a pint of chocolate gelato? Who’s TW’s emergency vet?
Gregory [7:57] @Paula oh my B. That never actually happened. TW was at Paul Lebrecque getting a colonic that morning
Paula [7:58] ewwwwww
Jess [7:58] GUYS???
Jess [7:59] Calling the people doctor I guess
Jess [8:00 AM] I can’t believe I still have student loan debt.
----- Tuesday, April 6 -----
Jess created the channel #logan-roy-dementia-watch.
Jess added Brian, Gregory, Justin, Paula, and 15 others to the channel.
Jess [2:12 PM] um
what the fuck is going on @channel
Kerry left the channel.
----- Thursday, April 9, in #but-his-emails -----
Gregory [8:44 AM] >> On Thursday, April 9, at 3:02 AM, T W <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Greg oh Greg…. You should read Tolstoy if you haven’t….. really helps you understand the morass of passion and futility of human existence. Though it might be a bit philosophical for you. Ha ha. Seriously. Just finished Anna Karenina but can’t decide who the real victim is
>>
>> On the one hand Anna is a fickle, selfish narcissist. Like when her husband finds out about her affair he looks for a way to accept it and only gives her one rule: don’t bring your lover into my house. So of course she immediately brings her lover into his house! She chooses the most hurtful course of action at every opportunity…. never with any grace or subtlety. Always “I want what I want and I want it right now.” Poor guy did nothing except not be the love of her life. Even when he finally breaks down emotionally and forgives her for everything her reaction is to hate him more and taunt him about it. Won’t even take the divorce he offers. ASININE
>>
>> But on the other hand Anna starts out vivacious, alive, comfortable… her marriage of convenience is PRETTY FUCKING HAPPY, GREG! Then meets Vronsky and realizes she’s trapped and her life feels like a shadow of what it could have been. She TELLS Vronsky to stay away from her… she knew if he stayed away she could perhaps remain content in her loveless marriage, but he (bitch boy) doesn’t listen.
>>
>>Sure she treats Karenin badly but that’s not the real reason she ends up a social pariah Greg. Everyone hates her husband but they’re perfectly happy to condemn Anna anyway to feel better about themselves. The condemnation and legal impossibility of her position destroys her while nobody around her really understands the gravity of her situation. They’re having secret affairs left and right but of course can’t relate to her lack of freedom because THEIR social standing is never at risk
>>
>> In the end Anna really only wanted what we all do… gratification, indulgence, passion. Perhaps her real flaw was simply lacking discretion
>>
>>Ha ha….. just thinking out loud I suppose :)
>>
>>Sent from my iPhone
>> On Thursday, April 9, at 3:29 AM,T W <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Disregard last email. Wasn’t meant for you
>>
>>Sent from my iPhone
Gregory [8:44] I’ve never even read Anna Karenina
----- Friday, April 10, in #but-his-emails -----
Justin [4:22 PM] Did he just
Did he just reply all to a company wide email
With a comment about how he much he loves banging his wife
Sorry, his *smoking hot wife
Paula [4:23] HUGE youth pastor energy
Jess [4:23] Horrifying
Nia [4:24] I’m calling Ronan Farrow, that email alone qualifies as a Me Too
Paula [4:24] @Nia CLASS ACTION
Justin [4:24] “If you or a loved one have been forced to picture Tom Wambsgans fucking, you may be entitled to financial compensation”
Brian [4:25] Who do you think has a dryer pussy: Shiv Roy or Ben Shapiro’s doctor wife
Gregory [4:26] guys please stop TW just saw me laughing and demanded to know what was so funny
Paula [4:26] “Your wife’s dry ass pussy”
Jess [4:27] For sure Ben Shapiro’s wife, Shiv has like 10 other dudes
Nia [4:28] Oh yeah
Nia [4:28] Didn’t someone see her on a date at Carbone while TW was in DC last week
Brian [4:29] Maybe TW just has a cuckolding fetish
Gregory [4:30] lol
Gregory [4:30] actually
Gregory [4:34] nevermind
----- Monday, April 19, in #general -----
Comfrey-Pellits joined #lackeyslack.
Gregory added Comfrey-Pellits to the channels #off-topic, #executive-floor, #overheard-at-waystar, #civil-war, #but-his-emails, #better-call-legal, #logan-roy-dementia-watch, #summer-fridays
Jess [9:54 PM] @Gregory ???
Isn’t this chat intended for Waystar personnel only? @Comfrey-Pellits is LLF personal hire, y/y?
Gregory [9:55] @Jess sorry I didn’t know, does it matter?
Jess [9:55] Does it matter if an independent contractor whose job is to feed negative stories about the company to the media on behalf of her boss has access to sensitive info/gossip that could potentially be traced back to its originator and get them fired for not complying with their NDA
Gregory [9:56] I thought you were both ride or die for Ken either way
Gregory [9:58] Is this about the bagel
Gregory [9:56] Because I heard we caught and killed that story anyway
Jess [9:58] It’s not about the bagel @Gregory, it’s about looking out for one another as assistants at this company. A company that keeps getting accused of doing really fucked-up things to ruin the lives of its former employees, in case you’re too far up TW’s ass to notice
Jess [9:59] Jesus
Jess [9:59] Dumb fucking trust fund mumblecore scarecrow
Jess [9:59] You look like a borzoi ate Timothee Chalamet
Brian [10:00 PM] lmao
Gregory [10:01] @Brian dude
Gregory [10:02] And for your information @Jess I don’t HAVE a trust fund. My grandpa donated it to Greenpeace and it’s kind of a sore subject actually
----- Tuesday, April 20, in #civil-war -----
Justin [3:47 PM] Kendall Roy Just Changed His Pronouns To “He/They” And We’re Living For It | BuzzFeed News
Nia [3:47] go off woke kxng
Jess [3:49] HE WHAT
Jess [3:49] I SUGGESTED THAT AS A JOKE
Justin [3:50] does he even know what “he/they” means
Jess [3:51] absolutely not
Paula [3:52] Oh lol I was just wondering why “Shiv Roy is a TERF” is trending
----- Friday, July 9, in #executive-floor -----
Paula [9:39 AM] DICK PIC????
Paula [9:39] IS ANYONE HEARING ABOUT THIS????
Paula [9:40] APPARENTLY RR *ALLEGEDLY* SENT LR A DICK PIC IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAST MEETING???
Jess [9:40] what
the
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Brian [9:40] Like as a power move or
Nia [9:40] What kind of power move would that even BE?
Paula [9:41] @Gregory you’re out there with them right?? what’s going on, what’s the temperature
Gregory [9:42] Unclear
Gregory [9:45] Now GK walking out talking to Shiv. Super tense energy between them
Nia [9:46] omg do you guys think…..
Paula [9:46] nooooooooooooooooo :eyes:
Justin [9:47] Calling it: GK and RR have been doing it
Nia [9:47] RR *WISHES*
Gregory [9:59] OK, LR just left. I think he was mumbling something about “whole family of perverts and sickos” when he walked by. Looked and sounded pissed
Jess [10:00 A.M.] I would be too if RR whipped that thing out at me
Brex [10:47] who cares, it’s tiny