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Jeongguk has been in love with his best friend for years without telling anyone. Not exactly anyone but Hoseok is his soulmate so he doesn’t count. He simply didn’t want to ruin their friendship because he knew it would change everything and the thought of the pain he would feel if Taehyung wasn’t returning his feelings was just too much. So he didn’t tell anyone. And he tried to get over him, he really did. But every guy he met he was comparing him to Taehyung. And every time he thought he was finally over him, Taehyung just breathed and Jeongguk was ready to die for him. So there he was standing in front of a mirror looking at himself in a wedding suit. Yes, he was getting married. But not to the person he really wants to get married to. He was getting married to Yugyeom. Jeongguk never loved Yugyeom and Yugyeom never loved Jeongguk. Actually, they did love each other but it wasn’t love in a romantic way but more in a friendly way. They were good for each other. But the main reason they were together all that time and getting married was that they both needed each other for something. Obviously for sex but that wasn’t the only reason. Yugyeom needed Jeongguk because his parents told him that if he won’t get married he won’t become the owner of the family business and Jeongguk needed him to maybe finally get over Tae or at least seem like he was in love with someone that wasn’t his best friend. But even on their wedding day, he was thinking about Taehyung. He was imagining walking out of that room, going to the altar and getting married to the love of his life. But it was never going to be more than a thought.
Jeongguk wiped his tears away with his hands when he heard someone was knocking on the door. He screamed “open” and he saw Hoseok walking in.
“Everything is ready and we’re just waiting for… oh shit what happened?” Hoseok asked immediately hugging Guk.
“Nothing it’s just… it’s just that I… love him and it fucking hurts” Jeongguk said and started crying even more than before.
“Gukkie… you shouldn’t be crying right now, you’re gonna have puffy eyes and fuck, you are getting married in like 10 minutes. It was supposed to be the best day in your life ”
“I know. I just can’t stop” Jeongguk cried, hiding his head in his best friend’s neck.
“I thought you wanted to marry Yugyeom? To get over Taehyung and everything.”
Hoseok could feel that shirt on his shoulder was becoming wet but he didn’t care. Jeongguk needed him and nothing else mattered right now.
“I do, hyung. I really do.”
“It doesn’t look like it but okay. I’m gonna tell everyone that there is a problem and we need some more time.” Hoseok said taking his face in his hands and looking him in the eyes.
“Thank you.”
“You know… if you wanna ditch him at the altar…”
“I don’t”
Hoseok never liked Yugyeom but he made his best friend happy so he accepted that Jeongguk wanted to be with him. He knew that Jeongguk would be even more happy if it would be Tae instead of Yugyeom, but Tae didn’t love Jeongguk the way he wanted and he never really showed his interest to the older. And besides, Taehyung has a boyfriend.
“I’m gonna go now okay? We can wait for like 15 minutes and in that time you go to the bathroom, clean your face and make it look like you didn’t just cry. Can you do that?”
Jeongguk just nodded and Hoseok started walking to the door.
“Is he there?” he asked when Hoseok was about to close the door.
“You know he is. He wouldn’t miss his best friend’s wedding” the older said and closed the door.
Jeongguk took a deep breath and looked in the mirror to see what a mess he was. His face was all red and his blonde hair was tangled and in need of a brush. He wiped his tears again and went to the bathroom.
“Taehyung? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with your boyfriend and everyone? The wedding starts in a few minutes.”
“I broke up with him but that’s not the point. I need to see him.”
“You can’t. Not right now.”
“You won’t tell me what I can or cannot do Hoseok.” Taehyung said and went to the door only to be stopped by the other.
“Let me go” Tae tried to push Hoseok's hands away but the older was suddenly really strong.
“Why do you want to see him just before the wedding?”
“I need to give him something.”
“Well, can’t you just give him that after the most important moment in his life?”
“That’s the thing, I need to give him that before he’s going to marry that asshole”
“What is wrong with you? You don’t like Yugyeom now? And what is so important that he can’t get married without?” the older said still holding him from going to the room.
“I just need to give him that okay? I can’t tell you. Just please let me go.”
“I can’t do that Tae”
“Jesus Hoseok why are you so problematic today” Taehyung felt the grip on his shoulders was a little looser so he quickly pushed him away and run to the door of Jeongguk's room.
“TAEHYUNG NO!” Hoseok tried to catch him but he was too fast.
Jeongguk spent in the bathroom a lot of time but he still looked bad. But he couldn’t do anything more because the wedding was starting soon. He looked in the mirror one last time and he wanted to go out of the room but he saw something on the table. He took it immediately recognizing the handwriting. It was Taehyung's handwriting. Jeongguk's name was written on the envelope so he opened it and started reading.
My dear Jeongguk,
I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you marry him without telling you what you will soon read in this letter. But read it only if you have doubts. If you don’t then just throw it away and don’t read it and act like you never saw it. You know what, read it and I will tell you what to do at the end.
Firstly, I want to say that I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. If I did maybe things would be different now. I'm sorry this took me so long to be brave enough to tell you that... I love you. I love you Jeongguk, with all my heart and soul. You are my best friend and the person I can't imagine my life without. That's why I didn't tell you. I was afraid it would destroy our friendship. And I already lost you as a potential boyfriend, I couldn't lose you as a friend either. But now you're gonna get married and I'm gonna lose you for him anyway.
So I am telling you now because I've got nothing to lose.
Remember one of that Jimin's parties? The one a few years ago when we were drunk and playing all those games? The one when we accidentally kissed? Yeah... that was that moment I guess, the moment when I realized that I have feelings for you. I was so afraid back then that you would notice that something was wrong. Remember how weird I acted around you for a few days? Well, that was because I realized that you're not only a friend to me and I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared. Remember when a few days later you told me to stop being weird because the kiss was just a kiss and it didn't mean anything to you at all. And that it was nothing because we are friends and friends kiss each other sometimes. I was so hurt Jeongguk. I know you didn’t know about my feelings but it did still hurt. You don't know about it but later that day Jimin called me and when he heard me crying he came and I told him everything so that's why he wasn't all happy for you sometimes. He was just being protective. Anyway, he told me that if we're meant to be together, we will. And I believed that. I believed that we will be together one day. But then you accepted his proposal. And that was the second-worst day in my life (the first was actually when I got an invitation to your wedding but that’s not the point right now). And when you did that it was when I realized that I lost you, that what Jimin said a few years back was just a reassuring sentence, something to make me feel better.
I wrote that letter yesterday (I mean it is yesterday for you when you’re reading this). I was debating with myself if telling you is a good idea. But you're reading this so... I assume I finally decided to do it. Like I said. I've got nothing to lose because I lost the sense of my life a few years earlier. I'm wondering if you noticed how we grow apart since you started spending time with him. You barely even talked to me. You still called me your best friend but you didn’t act like it. But that didn't stop me from loving you. Oh god, nothing can make me stop loving you.
Jeongguk you're like… I’m not able to even describe it but you are the only person that can make me smile or laugh no matter how shitty I feel.
When I see you my day gets better.
When you smile I swear the whole universe is smiling too.
And when you look at me I am ready to do every fucking thing you would ask me to do.
But you’re getting married. I told you at the beginning that I will tell you what to do with this letter. Well If you do have feelings for me then do what you want but just let me know that you do. And If you don’t then please don’t even try to apologize, it’s not your fault that I’m in love with you. We don’t really choose who we love and I can’t blame you for not loving me back. So if you don’t feel the same just ignore the letter, act as you’ve never seen or read it. Just marry him and forget you’ve ever read this.
I want you to be happy Jeongguk, I’ll accept whatever you decide because I want you to be happy no matter if it’s with me by your side or with him. I love you, you’re my best friend and you’re getting married. You’re my first love and the most important person in my life and it will always be like that. It’s your wedding day but I still want you and I truly hope that you want me too.
Love, Taehyung
Jeongguk was crying again. He couldn’t believe what he just read. Taehyung loves him? Romantically? How is that even possible? Taehyung never gave him any signs of being interested in the younger. All those years they’ve been in love with each other and didn’t know about it. Of course, Jeongguk remembered the party, that was when his feelings for Taehyung started to grow. What is he supposed to do now? He can’t ditch Yugyeom. They have been together for so long now, he can’t do that to him. Yugyeom would lose his rights to his family’s company. And Jeongguk can’t just tell everyone that the wedding is canceled because he wants to be with someone else. Jeongguk loves Taehyung so much but he already has his future planned without him. Or actually with him but only as a friend. Why the hell did Taehyung give him that today, couldn’t he do that in the last few years? If he would, Jeongguk wouldn’t be in this situation right now. He wouldn’t have to choose between two boys that are both important to him. Because he wouldn’t have anyone to choose between. There would be only Taehyung. But he is in this situation and he needs to do what is right.
Jeongguk was walking down the altar. To marry Yugyeom. He decided that he is going to ignore the letter. Act as he has never read it. He still had his face all puffy and his eyes were red but he couldn’t wait any longer because people would start to get suspicious. He decided that he can’t ruin Yugueom's future. He was walking there, acting like everything is okay and like he cried because he is that happy. And maybe some people believed that but when he met Hoseok's eyes he saw his sad smile he knew that Hoseok knows that something happened after he left. And right beside his best friend there was Yoongi with his gummy smile and next to him was Jimin also smiling like the brightest sun. But Jeongguk wasn’t prepared to see someone who was sitting next to them. It was just a second but he crossed his sight with Taehyung and Jeongguk tried to pull the best smile he could. He tried because maybe then he wouldn’t know that he has read the letter. And Taehyung also smiled. Maybe he didn’t see his red eyes? But that short eye contact made Jeongguk want to cry again. But he couldn’t because there were too many people, and Yugyeom was waiting for him just a few steps away.
“Gukkie? Everything’s okay?” Yugyeom asked when Jeongguk finally stood beside him.
“Yeah, I’m just really happy and I may have shared some tears” Jeongguk said with a fake smile.
The ceremony began and Jeongguk could only think about Taehyung's eyes on him. He didn’t hear what was going on until he heard his name.
“I, Yugyeom, take you, Jeongguk, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.” Yugyeom said smiling.
“Okay Jeongguk repeat after me. I, Jeongguk, take you, Yugyeom, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.”
“I, Jeongguk, take you, Taehyung, to be my… I meant Yugyeom… I didn’t … oh fuck”
Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
Jeongguk fucked up, he really did. Everyone’s eyes were on him now. He looked at Yugyeom and he looked shocked. Everyone was shocked because he said the wrong name. There was absolute silence, and Jeongguk couldn’t take it. He mouthed a quiet “I’m sorry” and run out to the room that he was earlier in. When he was running he saw him. He saw Taehyung, he had his mouth opened in shock. Jeongguk started crying as soon as he closed the door behind him, sliding down on them. How could he mistook the name at his own wedding?
“Gukkie? Open the door please” he heard Hoseok and he stood up to do what he was asked for.
When he opened them he not only saw Hoseok but also Yugyeom and he wanted to hide because how could he look him in the eyes right now.
“I’m sorry I don’t know w-what happened. I just… I…” he wasn’t able to talk because he was crying so much.
“It’s okay Jeongguk. It’s okay, stop crying” when Jeongguk heard this words coming out from Yugyeom's mouth to tell that he was shocked would be an understatement. He immediately stopped crying and Yugyeon hugged him and Hoseok was just standing there too shocked to even move.
“Yugyeom I’m so sorry I ruined our wedding. I didn’t meant to. I just… I don’t know” Jeongguk was trying to explain himself but he couldn’t make a proper sentence.
“I knew you didn’t want to marry me. I’m not mad Gukkie. You’re my friend first and then my lover and I love you but I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to. I just want you to be happy, because you deserve it and if it means that we’re gonna break up it’s okay because I know we’ll stay friends.” Yugyeom said hugging Jeongguk.
“I love you too Yugyeom. And I’m so so sorry”
“It’s okay. It really is” Jeonguk could hear he was crying and he started doing that too. But suddenly he remembered something and he pulled away.
“Oh shit but what with the company. You’re going to lost your rights to it now. We should go back and get married.”
“Are you serious?” Yugyeom started laughing. “I don’t care about the company, you’re happiness is more important right now. I will talk to my parents or find one of those girls that just want to be rich.”
“You know… I didn’t actually like you but now you are like one of my favorite people” Hoseok said and all of them started laughing.
And then they heard a knock on the door. They all knew who that was.
“Please be happy Jeongguk. Be happy with him. You deserve all the love in the world. I hope we will stay friends. And don’t cry please. It’s okay to love someone” Yugyeom said taking the other’s face in his hands and placing a soft kiss on his head.
“Of course we will stay friends. Thank you so much Yugyeom and I’m truly sorry. I should have told you about everything” Jeongguk said hugging him.
“I knew”
“Wha-“
“Not now Gukkie, someone’s waiting for you”
“Thank you so much again. I love you” Guk said kissing him one last time before they pulled away both in tears but smiling.
Jeongguk wiped his tears watching his now ex-fiancée and Hoseok leaving and the love of his life showing up in the room. He immediately started crying for the hundredth time in an hour.
“HOW COULD YOU TAEHYUNG, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT ON MY WEDDING!” Jeongguk was screaming, crying and pushing Taehyung. “I WAS ABOUT TO MARRY SOMEONE AND YOU JUST ACTED LIKE THE MOST SELFISH PERSON EVER. WHAT DID YOU EXPEXT? THAT I’LL STOP THE WEDDING I’VE BEEN PLANNING FOR MONTHS JUST BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ACTUALLY LOVED ME AND DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT IT FOR ALL THESE YEARS WHEN YOU COULD AND WE WOULD BE VERY HAPPY COUPLE NOW PROBABLY PLANNING OUR OWN WEDDING WHILE SITTING ON OUR BED WITH YEONTAN IN OUR OWN APARTMENT AND THERE WOULD BE A BUNCH OF THOSE PHOTOS WITH FLOWERS AND CAKES. BUT NO, YOU DECIDED TO TELL ME ABOUT IT TODAY. ON MY FUCKING WEDDING.”
“You have it all planned out, don’t you.” Taehyung said with a smile.
“Of course I do. Who do you think I am.” Jeongguk said pulling Taehyung in and finally kissing him.
It felt like his dream finally came true, he was kissing the love of his life. The only person he was ready to die for. He couldn’t believe it was actually happening. He felt Taehyung's hands on his lower back and he had his own hands on the other’s neck pulling him as close as possible.
“Wait” Taehyung broke the kiss still holding the younger in his arms “Does this mean you love me too?”
“Of course, you silly. I love you. I realized that the same way you did, on that party. But I think I’ve actually loved you since the day we first met” Jeongguk said looking into his love’s eyes. “ I want you to say it Tae. I want to hear you say it.”
“I love you Jeon Jeongguk”
Jeongguk mouthed a short “oh my god” and started kissing him again. This time more passionately like in a return for all these years they’ve lost. He couldn’t believe he can now do it every day for the rest of his life. And not only that because there are so many things you can do with the person you love.