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Felix is a morning person. He is usually up well before dawn and enjoys going on a walk through the expansive grounds of his family estate. While there is a walking track, he’s made his own trail going through his favourite spots over the years.
Observant eyes alone can spot this trail, for the grounds are very well maintained. But Felix always leaves his mark, leaves traces and little inside jokes for his future self. Something as simple as the worn grass. Or as complex as the rope knots he leaves, half-hidden away, to find later. It keeps his mind sharp.
There’s something about early mornings- the cool, fresh, brand-new breeze; the solitude, the bright, cold light of sunrise- that feel like they belong to him and he to them. This new day is his. It’s just him and his thoughts out here.
When he has to travel, these walks give him the much-needed peace and routine he craves in a new and strange environment.
And, well. To be perfectly objective, the place he’s at right now isn’t all that unfamiliar. He’s been to the Agreste’s several times as a child. Used to love it, even. Between himself and Adrien, there probably isn’t a single nook or cranny of the mansion and its surroundings left unexplored. But that was then- and people changed.
At least Adrien still liked to sleep in.
Felix was just finishing his fifth round in the garden as light broke across the horizon. Slowly, the trees and buildings started taking on more dimension than the simple silhouettes of pre-dawn. The sky was a lovely pale blue streaked with soft golden rays. He paused his playlist and climbed up the wall, perching on top, to watch. No matter how many times he tried he could never quite catch the sun actually moving up and finding its place in the sky. And he tried nearly every morning.
At least… at least he had another morning to look forward to.
Two years ago, in this very city, his father woke up to his last sunrise. He must’ve been happy- the nurses said he was smiling right to the end.
Mr. Graham de Vanily had been the only other morning person in their family. He would often go riding at dawn. Sometimes he took little Felix with him. They’d ride to the very edge of their estate and back, Father making sure to go extra fast to make little Felix shriek with thrill.
“Look at the sunrise,” he’d say, so often that Felix knew these words by heart. “And remember how lucky you are, my dear son, to see a new day be born.”
Father would think he had been lucky, that day. He saw a new day break over Paris. He wasn’t in pain. He got to say goodbye to his wife and son before leaving them forever.
Felix’s hands clenched on the edge of the stone wall.
That wasn’t luck. True luck would mean the surgery was successful. It would mean that he’d recover, come back home happy and healthy again. That he’d go riding with Felix again. That home would feel warm and complete, instead of cold and empty. It could mean that he’d be here on this visit, joining Felix on this walk.
Suddenly, the space next to Felix felt too empty. The edge of the wall dug into his palms. His knuckles had turned white. His nose had gone all runny again.
Goddamit, he let his guard down again. And he had been doing so good too!
Sniffling, he raised his head- and almost fell off the wall.
——
“Marinette!” a childlike voice called. “Marinette, wake up! It’s an emergency!”
Marinette groaned and rolled over in her bed.
Tikki sat next to her ear. “Marinette!”
“AGH!!” the girl yelled, sitting up and smacking the Kwami off her face.
“Oh thank goodness! Hurry Marinette, there’s an akuma attack.”
“Wha- now?” In a matter of a second, the girl went from sleepy to high alert.
“Yes, now! Transform quickly!”
“Where did you see it?”
“Agreste mansion.”
“Oh no! ADRIEN!” Marinette scrambled to her feet. “Tikki, spots on!”
One flash of magic later, Ladybug zipped above the streets of Paris to save her beloved.
——
Of all the things Felix had to encounter this morning, it was an akuma.
Of course it was a fucking akuma.
His instincts kicked in just in time. Barely a millisecond before it made contact with him, he leaned backwards and fell off the wall, rolling safely on the grass away from that thing. It bought him a second- long enough for what he was planning to do. He first took a deep, calming breath. Then he carefully pulled every strong emotion off the forefront of his mind. He would be all right. He was all right.
The akuma fluttered around him, but apparently couldn’t get close enough.
Keeping his eyes on the creature, he pulled off his rings, unclasped his watch and emptied his pockets. His shoes and socks followed as an afterthought. He kept his hands open and empty, and made sure his feet were touching nothing but bare grass. He briefly wondered if he should do something about his clothes. But considering they were a simple, generic sweatshirt and sweatpant combo which he had no particular attachment to, he was probably fine. Besides, Ladybug and Chat Noir were bound to show up soon. He had no wish to flash them.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he backed away from his piles of belongings while keeping a wary eye on the akuma. It followed him, but just as before, didn’t seem to be making any moves to fuse with him. A very good sign, and consistent with what he suspected about the cursed creatures. Strong emotion- taken care of. Object of sentimental value in contact with his skin- all gone. The thing had nothing to latch onto. Felix was in control. He felt calm and focused. If mildly irritated.
Now all he had to do was wait.
—–
Ladybug got to the mansion quickly enough. She landed on the outer wall and began scouting for the akuma. It has been eerily quiet on the way, with none of the characteristic noise or property destruction of the usual akumatized. Which could mean two things: either the akuma hadn’t found a victim yet, or (more likely) it had finally caught hold of a stealthy one.
She prowled the wall on high alert. Chat wasn’t here yet. No surprise, considering how early it was. She only got here herself because Tikki had been on patrol. Today’s akuma could be all hers.
As she rounded her second corner, she finally saw it. Or rather, him. A blond boy swore and ducked away from something.
Was that Adrien? And why was he in the process of taking off his sweatshirt??
With a quiet squeak, she turned back and sat down. She should be taking another look at the situation- he could be getting akumatized any second now! But… he was half-naked out there. At six AM. As the first person she would be seeing today.
She was seriously doubting her ability to keep a calm face.
Just go, Marinette! Tikki chided in her mind. Do you really want Adrien to get akumatized?!
NO!! I’m going, I’m going!
Steeling herself, she rounded the corner with a little more noise than the first time.
“Ah, finally.” A voice (that was most certainly not Adrien’s) said. “Bug extermination’s here.”
Ladybug barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Of course. That was not Adrien, it was-
“Felix. Stay still, this might hurt.”
“Ha ha. For that thing, maybe.” he glanced at the dark purple butterfly above his head.
Ladybug stared at it. That was, without a doubt, an akuma. A free akuma. Did he manage to break the object it had gotten to?
She gave him a quick once over- he was wearing a black turtleneck, black sweatpants and no jewelry or accessories whatsoever, with the sweatshirt discarded on the grass next to him. There were no broken items indicative of whatever connected him to the akuma.
“If you’re done staring at me,” Felix commented dryly, “your akuma awaits.”
The jab barely registered. “You got it off all by yourself?”
“What do you take me for, an idiot?” he asked, dodging the akuma again. “It didn’t get me yet. And since you’re here, I assume it never will.”
“Mm.” She sobered up, opening her yo-yo. “Like I said, stay still.”
She caught it easily enough. One flash of purifying light later, a harmless white butterfly flew above them. Felix nodded at her and made to go back inside.
“Wait!” Ladybug called. “How did you- oh.”
There, on the back of his head, was a ladybug-print scrunchie holding up a tiny blonde half-ponytail.
She burst out laughing.
Felix crossed his arms over his chest.
“You’re a fan? You?” she wheezed, clutching her stomach.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said, a touch sour. “Now what were you going to say?”
Normally, Ladybug would try to rein in her laughter and get to the point. But this was Felix, the jerk who’d played that mean prank on Adrien last year and tried to kiss her, so she felt no guilt in taking her time. He could afford to wait.
He rolled his eyes but stayed where he was.
“Right.” Ladybug said eventually, with some semblance of seriousness. “How did you avoid the akuma?”
“Easy.” Felix replied. He’d retrieved a watch and was putting it on. “Akuma usually latch on to something sentimental that the victim is touching. Over there-” he gestured at his tiny pile of belongings- “is everything I had on hand. And my shoes.”
Wow. That was… quite something.
How did no one think of this before? Ladybug asked Tikki, It makes my job so much easier.
We should teach everyone, Tikki suggested.
Like an akuma avoidance program? Hmm, I like that.
Ladybug turned her attention back to Felix. He was scrolling through his phone as he paced around in circles.
Now that the danger had passed, she could get a proper look at him.
He seemed to have gone through a recent growth spurt. He was quite a bit taller than Adrien now, and had a lankier look. His hair had grown to just past his shoulders. His face was narrower and longer, and his eyes held a coolness very different to the cheerful warmth of Adrien’s. Even his dressing style was different than Adrien’s. He wore predominantly grey and black, save for the red scrunchie in his hair.
There was no way she could mistake the two of them anymore.
She sat down on the wall, watching him gather his belongings. His movements were gentle and rhythmic. Having put his phone and earbuds in his pocket, and his rings back on his fingers, he was now neatly folding up his sweatshirt.
He hardly looked like the kind of guy who’d play mean jokes on a friend. And yet… her mind replayed that moment, a cruel smirk on a familiar face closing in the few inches between them. The moment she knew it wasn’t Adrien.
“Why did you do it?”
Felix jumped. “You’re still here?”
“Just answer my question. You owe me that much.”
He met her narrowed eyes before looking at the sweatshirt on his arm. It took him a long moment to look back up, but when he did, it was with steely resolution.
“I hated how happy and put-together he was that day. I’ll spare you my sob story, but back then, he looked like he’d already moved on from Aunt Emile’s passing.”
He fidgeted with the sweatshirt hem. “He didn’t deserve those sympathetic messages from his friends. He was doing just fine, so why should he have people fawning all over him? Treating him like some kind of tragic hero? Or so I thought,” he chuckled humorlessly.
“Nobody sent me anything outside of cold platitudes, even though I was hurting too. And misery loves company. I wanted him to feel how he was supposed to be feeling. Like how I felt. So I did something about it.
"I hurt Adrien, I hurt his friends, I caused three akumatizations and I hurt you in his name. And after that… in the months that passed, I was able to create my own calm facade and go on living my life, in spite of… anyway. That’s when I realized he’s been doing that all along. And I impersonated him for nothing but my own pettiness.”
Felix’s voice turned bitter in the last sentence, and he looked away. Ladybug sat up straight. She hadn’t been expecting such a candid answer.
He didn’t look back at her. After a silent minute, she nodded and got up. “I should get going.”
—-
Felix’s head snapped up. He opened his mouth, ready to say something, but closed it after a second. It was no use. Her back was to him already, and the moment was over.
Ladybug swung her yo-yo up and leaped away.
Felix watched her go.
He wasn’t done talking. But maybe everything he said was enough for Ladybug to decide she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. And if it was, he’d have to accept it. It stung a little more than it should, seeing as they were practically strangers. Probably because she was the superhero in a city where he could very well be akumatized.
Maybe it was time he realized that what he wanted, didn’t always had to happen. And maybe he should start learning to live with it.
A quiet “I’m sorry” floated off into the new morning, heard only by the birds and the trees.