Chapter Text
“Where are you going?!”
Mingyu snatched his arm back from Jihoon’s tight grip, not saying a word.
“If you leave, we are breaking up.”
Mingyu paused but he pursed his lips and continued walking.
“Kim Mingyu! Don’t you dare walk out!”
“Ya!”
“YA!”
The door of the apartment slammed shut.
There was a deafening silence.
Jihoon froze on the spot in shock. He quickly overcame it but felt his heart sting and his eyes and face were heating up. He internally threatened his tears to stop forming but they spilt out. He briskly walked back into his room, and shut the door ignoring the looks on the other dormmates’ faces.
Kim Mingyu. This bastard. Who knew he would take this so personally? Okay, Jihoon understood Mingyu’s intention of coming out to their families that they are dating, and it has been 5 years since they started dating. Mingyu is always very proud of dating him and wants to share with his loved ones about this rather than hiding it and lying about their relationship.
But Jihoon also knew that Mingyu was very close with his family. What if they reject him? Reject them? Mingyu would be devastated. Their families were Christian, what if they called it blasphemy? Religious context aside but, what if they wanted grandchildren? Jihoon couldn’t give them any blood related children. Would they be disappointed?
Even if they were against them dating, they would still have to meet again as they are still SEVENTEEN and all the members’ families meet regularly. It would be so awkward for everyone including the other members and their families if they sensed the tension between them.
Also, what if they breakup one day? Would Mingyu’s family blame him? How should he treat them?
Mingyu tried reassuring him that they were in this together and no matter what happens, he would always continue loving him. But nothing is ever certain, and he doesn’t want Mingyu to be sad either.
Sure, they had arguments about this before, but none were as serious as the one today.
Haah.
It’s late and Mingyu just packed his bag and stomped out of the house without saying where he was going. To be honest, he knew Mingyu would likely be in the other dorm upstairs probably with Minghao, but he couldn’t help but worry. What if Mingyu is tired of him. Tired of hiding. What if Mingyu never comes back? What if he walked out because he really wants to break up?
Thinking about this was going nowhere and Jihoon’s head started to hurt thinking about this. Whatever, he just wants to sleep this issue away.
When Jihoon woke up, it was deadly silent.
Not a single snore is heard this morning.
Hah.
He wished that this was all a dream.
He closed and opened his eyes again as if he would wake out of this painful dream and be filled with relief that everything was still fine.
Well, it can’t be a dream, judging by how badly his eyes has swollen. He was hit by reality.
If he could go back in time to last night, rather than roughly yelling at Mingyu, but in a different tone, maybe a warmer tone, would Mingyu have stayed?
Thankfully it was the day off today and Jihoon had no plans. He couldn’t go to the studio since the members and the staff decided a day off meant no making music for today in particular since he had been holed up in the studio almost every day for the past 3 months.
Sometimes, he would stayover in the studio as well. Mingyu being the loving boyfriend that loves to do everything for him, would gladly come down to the studio besides his busy schedule to bring anything Jihoon may need. Food, clothes, etc.
Other times, Mingyu would take a seat in the studio’s sofa and draw on his iPad, to accompany Jihoon in the studio. Of course, it’s not just Mingyu that visits him but the other members like Soonyoung and Vernon but all he can think about right now is Mingyu.
Although Jihoon did not want to see Mingyu right now, he wants to, too. He hates Mingyu for not understanding but he also misses him.
He doesn’t even understand his own emotions right now.
After having breakfast, fried rice and whatever he could find in the fridge, he decided to go to the gym and called out Soonyoung to gym together.
Jihoon wore the special customised black hoodie and sweatpants of the members that went to the same gym…Would “he” be there too?
No, he wasn’t. He doesn’t even go at that timing anyway. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Jihoon hated him. Stupid.
They had a rewarding session at the gym. It was not only good for the body but also the mind.
Soonyoung did give strange looks throughout the whole session like he was dying to say something, but Jihoon ignored it. Pretend everything is fine.
Jihoon tried inviting Soonyoung for dinner, but Soonyoung had other plans that he couldn’t tag along with. Soonyoung gave an extremely apologetic look wanting to say something more, but Jihoon just waved it off.
Now what should he do?
MarioKart?
Thankfully the other dormmate, Wonwoo was a gaming addict that did not like going out much. Although Wonwoo was currently playing his favourite FPS game, he didn’t seem to mind dropping it to play with Jihoon for a bit. Jihoon offered to pay for their dinner, and order in Fried Chicken.
They had a great time, competing and laughing as they played MarioKart in the living room. Jihoon could almost forget all the worries he had the day before which was nagging at the back of his head.
One by one the other dorm members came back.
Seungcheol and Joshua came back together. They had an outing as the 95s. They talked about how they played a game that Jeonghan instigated and Seungcheol lost so he had to pay for their meal.
Seokmin came back and greeted them with his amazingly loud singing voice. He was watching a live musical with a friend and excitedly told them the entire plot of the musical.
The crowd slowly fizzled out and everyone went back into their rooms (except Wonwoo who sleeps in the living room) for the night.
Except… Someone is still missing…
Even if he wanted to forget, he can’t forget who. He has been waiting all day for this person. It was not an easy thing to endure. Waiting for other’s next move after their fight yesterday which may result in a breakup… It made him scared and nervous.
Jihoon lay in his bed as he pondered about their relationship.
What kind of future would they have? Are they going to break up like this? The future for them has always been uncertain. Mingyu leaned more towards experimenting new ideas, modelling, films and photography, and Jihoon always stuck to making music.
What happens if SEVENTEEN is no more and they went on their separate ways? Mingyu is so different, and their paths are so different. Their futures don’t align. Would they still be able to stay in love if they are apart? Would he be able to warmly let Mingyu go?
No.
No matter what, this was the first time he felt such an affection and connection with a person. He would never be able to let go. They aren’t over yet.
Jihoon was tired thinking about all these, turned off the lights and decided to go to bed.
He tossed and turned but he couldn’t sleep. He never sleeps this early anyway more like he usually sleeps at like 5am after producing music. He eventually found a comfortable position facing the wall.
Creaaak.
Light flooded into the room. Even with his eyes closed, Jihoon could recognise this familiar presence anywhere. Maybe it is his scent or maybe it’s his heat but there was something special about it.
It was Mingyu. He was back. Jihoon was surprised. He thought Mingyu would be gone for longer but who knew it only took one day.
Jihoon was not ready for this. Not ready for a breakup or another fight. He didn’t even know what to say to Mingyu to make him stay. Just pretend to be asleep. Maybe he can handle it tomorrow.
“Hyung…”
A soft pleading voice rang out in their quiet room.
Oh god.
The door was gently shut behind him.
“Hyung, I’m sorry. I needed time to cool off yesterday, so I went out. But I shouldn’t have walked out without saying anything…Especially after what you said…”
“Did I hurt you when I pulled away from you?”
“I know you are awake.”
“Hyung… Was I pushing you too hard?”
A bag thudded on the ground and a couple of footsteps led Mingyu to the head of Jihoon’s bed.
“Hyung…I love you. I took for granted your patience. I kept nagging and didn’t realise I was making things hard for you.”
Fingers caressed the back of Jihoon’s head. Running through his hair and stroke his head gently.
“…Mingoo-ya, I’m sorry.”
Jihoon opened his eyes and turned around to face Mingyu. Even in the darkness, he looked handsome. He reached out to caress the man’s face.
Mingyu enveloped Jihoon’s hand with his own. Mingyu’s hands are always warm…
“I love you, but I’m scared…I’m not ready…What kind of future will we have?”
“Hyung, it’s alright. We don’t have to rush. We can take our time. I’m sorry…”
Jihoon released his hand and tapped the area beside him on the bed. Mingyu climbed up and nested beside him, wrapping one arm around Jihoon.
There was a comfortable silence in the room.
“Hyung, do you remember that time when we had dates every Friday night after practice? I told my mother we had practice till 2AM so we could hang out after practice ended at 12AM. We did so many things one time we watched movies.”
“Mmm. We had Cola and snuck chips in”
“Then, Soonyoung-hyung and Seungcheol-hyung found out after my mother complained about having practices so late. They got pissed since they got the blame, and we could have been using that time to practice too. They punished us by having practices really end at 2AM after that.”
“Ya. You escaped punishment. Your Mother had you leave by 10PM after that. Mingyurella.”
“Hehe! … Hyung… Sorry… I left you to suffer at that time.”
“It’s fine. I knew what we were getting into. It was fun being sneaky.”
“…Hyung…Thank you.”
“Mmm.”
“Do you remember our first date?”
“Yeah, at the café you worked at.”
“Hehe! I was so nervous that day I made a messed up on the latte art during my shift.”
“You made a big heart on my latte. The looks the manager gave us was so embarrassing…
… But thanks, it was cute.”
“We had a lot of funny memories when we started going out. Hehe!”
“It is harder to go out together since we have the schedule and fans can recognise us.”
“Ngh it’s a little sad we can’t just hang out by the park anymore.”
“We can just stay home and have dates at home or the studio. Like, last week we stayed over at the studio and watched a movie, we had surround sound and best lights.”
“Hehe! You are the bests hyung!”
“…”
“…Hyung... I like you…”
“Mmm. Me too.”
“Hyung?”
“Mmm?”
“…I get sulky and naggy, but I want to cherish you…always.”
“I know, thank you.”
“Hyung, you were worried about our future?”
“…Yeah.”
“You know, even if we go and do different things, we can still be together? I think no matter what happens in the future, we can just continue to love like how we were like the beginning. I can fall in love with you every day all over again.”
“You are so cheesy, go to sleep.”
“Night Hyung.”
Jihoon felt the arm around him tighten bringing him a little closer to Mingyu.
It was warm.
“…night.”
~End Woozi’s POV~