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Even as he hears the door open, then close, then shoes being toed off, then soft footsteps across the hard wood floors - he can’t bring himself to get out of bed.
There is no right or easy way to ask Danny what he is going to ask him, and it will never be the right time.
He thinks that any way you decide to ask your boyfriend this specific question - well, it’ll be the wrong way. So he sinks beneath the covers, pretends to be asleep, and prays that Danny buys it.
The night before.
They were drunk - like, really fucking drunk. Maybe not exceptionally. Maybe not over the line. But definitely drunk enough that he had Jake leaning all over him, slurring his words, saying things he probably wouldn’t dare say if he was sober.
“What’s it like fucking Danny?” Jake had asked, barely intelligible. He probably would have missed it had he not been listening closely, waiting for something embarrassing to slip out but not expecting that. “Is it good? Fuck, I bet it’s so good.”
Sam didn’t really know how to respond to that. He knew the answer. Fucking Danny is world rocking and life changing, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to share those details with his brother. So he settled for something else.
“It’s good.” Sam said, very matter-of-fact, hoping that it would end there but sensing that it wouldn’t. Plus, he was curious now. “Why?”
Jake looked off, as if deep in thought, as if he didn’t think this far ahead and perhaps he hadn’t. If he had, he probably wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place.
“I always wondered. I always wanted to find out for myself.” Jake said, looking dreamily at the ceiling, licking his lips, readjusting himself in his pants. “You got to him first.”
Well, shit.
“Sammy?” he hears from very close by. Probably just inches away above the covers, and then the covers are being pulled back to reveal Danny, his shining eyes and his beautiful smile. “Baby, are you okay?”
Not at all, he wants to say. I think I’m losing my mind, would probably be the most accurate. I don’t know how to ask you what I need to ask you and I feel like I’m exploding.
“I’m good.” he says instead, completely lying. The reality is his heart is beating out of his chest, his hands are sweating, his skin is red and blotchy with nerves and he knows Danny can see it. He knows as soon as Danny smirks at his answer and tilts his head that he’s not very good at hiding it at all.
“Tell me what’s going on so I can fix it.” Danny says, brushing Sam’s hair off of his forehead. And Sam knows that Danny wouldn’t be saying that so confidently if he knew what was going on, and what exactly fixing it would entail. But he has to say it eventually.
So he does. He sits up and gets it over with.
“What do you think of Jake?” Sam says, as if Danny is a mind reader and will just guess where this is leading. But all he does is raise his eyebrows, silently instructing Sam to continue. “What would you think about fucking Jake?”
And he knows it sounds odd, because it feels even weirder. There’s nothing normal or comfortable about asking your boyfriend if he wants to fuck your brother - especially when the answer you’re hoping to hear is yes.
Because somehow that’s best case scenario, is Danny being into it. Best case scenario is Sam sitting back, watching his brother take his boyfriend’s cock - in his mouth, inside of him, sweaty and gasping.
He’s getting hard just imagining it, and he doesn’t want to think about what that means.
He continues, braver now, although he’s yet to notice a change in Danny’s expression that could tell him anything at all. “Me and Jake got drunk last night, and got to talking…” Sam says. “About how he wants to know what it’s like to fuck you. And I think I want him to know, too, if you want to.”
When he finally lifts his head to meet Danny’s eyes, he looks bewildered. But not disgusted. Not terrified. Not angry. And for now, he’s going to take that as a win. The fact that Danny is still in front of him and meeting his eyes, he’ll take it as a win.
“Let me just make sure I’m hearing you right,” Danny starts, scoffing a bit, but he’s not mad , Sam can tell that much. Confused, yes. Shocked, entirely. But mad? No, that’s not what this tone is. That’s not what the growing bulge in Danny’s pants is. “Jake wants me to fuck him?” Sam nods. “And you want me to fuck Jake?” Sam nods, a bit too enthusiastically. “Do you want to fuck Jake?” Sam shakes his head vigorously, because that’s not what this is, not at all, at least he doesn’t think so. He’s shocked that Danny could ask that question without shivering.
“No, baby, just you. I want to watch you take him apart.”
Danny is actually grinning then, a look of disbelief but pure joy on his face. “Before I answer, you’re sure about this?”
He wasn’t so sure before. Not when he was hiding in their bed, dreading having this conversation. But seeing the look on Danny’s face. The desire. He’s never been more sure about anything, so he nods. “Positive.”
“Then yes. Absolutely. I would love to.”
Sam is crawling into his lap then, getting himself as close as possible, kissing Danny deep and warm and breathless and pawing at every available inch of him. Danny always said he would do anything for Sam and now he’s proving it.
Sam can’t help but stare in awe as Danny has two slick fingers inside Jake, Jake whining in what he can’t tell is pleasure or pain. Probably a bit of both.
Jake, completely bare, on his hands and knees on the bed. Danny still fully clothed, his left hand resting gently on Jake’s lower back while his right hand works Jake open slowly.
He’s never seen Danny do this. Only felt it.
It feels like something special to know exactly what Jake is feeling right now. He’s feeling Sam’s favorite thing. And he isn’t sure what the feeling is that’s pooling warm in his belly, whether it’s desire, or something else. But suddenly he needs to get so much closer.
He walks up behind Danny, pressing himself to his boyfriend’s back and resting his head on his shoulder. Wrapping his arms tight around his middle, completely awestruck at the sight in front of them both.
“How does he feel, honey?”
Danny just hums in response, leaning back into Sam’s embrace, while simultaneously pressing his hands harder into Jake. A reminder to them both I’m right here.
“He’s so tight, Sammy. He’s so soft inside, too, like velvet, and so warm.” Danny sighs dreamily, but leans his head against Sam’s, as a comfort. A reassurance. “Why don’t you go sit with him?”
Sam obliges, kissing Danny’s shoulder before moving to sit cross-legged on the bed in front of his brother. Jake is gasping, shaking, his head hanging low between his shoulders.
He ties Jake’s hair back into a bun, like their mom used to do for them when they were sick. The sight is dizzying and this entire experience feels otherworldly. He knows how Jake is feeling, but at the same time he can’t begin to imagine. It’s been so long since he’s felt this for the first time.
He brushes the hairs sticky and sweaty away from Jake’s forehead, tucking loose strands behind his ear.
“Hey.” Sam coos, bringing his palm to his brother’s cheek, flushed and burning hot. Jake gasps in response, sighs, his chest heaving. His arms are shaking as he struggles to hold himself up. Sam knows the feeling all too well and he rests his hand on Jake’s trembling one. “I know, Jake. I know. You’re doing so well.”
Jake is whining like he can’t even control it. Mewling in a way that Sam knows he would find embarrassing, and he won’t dare bring it up now or ever. He has such a love for his boyfriend right now - doing this for him, for them. Such an adoration and softness for his brother. Knowing that when it comes down to the wire, he’ll do absolutely anything for Jake. Even this.
“Are you ready for him, love?” Sam asks, not rushing. He and Danny will take this as slow as Jake needs them to, but they certainly don’t want to torment him. “What do you think, Jakey?”
Jake nods.
“Sam,” he gasps, looking up at his brother, his eyes red and wet. “Danny, please.”
Danny looks to Sam for permission, and Sam nods. “Go ahead, baby. He’s ready.”
But as Danny walks away, Sam notices a sudden shift in Jake’s demeanor. Jake looks over his shoulder to where Danny is shuffling around for a condom, then back to Sam, and his expression is different. It’s something that isn’t nerves and it’s not desire - it’s closer to panic. Danny turns back around and Sam holds a hand up, because this isn’t normal. He can’t read Jake like his twin but he can tell that something isn’t right, and Sam wants this to be perfect for him. “Daniel, honey, hold on a minute, will you?” Sam says, and Danny nods, standing back.
“Jake.” Sam says, pulling his brother’s attention to him. There are tears in his eyes. “Just you and me, Jake. Focus on me. Are you okay?”
Jake nods, but his expression sours, and he sighs. “I don’t know.”
Sam takes Jake’s hands, rearranging him so Jake is sitting up against the pillows at the head of the bed. Sam keeps Jake’s hand in his and faces him. “Well, we need to make that a yes. What do you need? We can stop right now if you want.”
Jake shakes his head. “No, I don’t want that.” Jake says, and Sam nods, prompting Jake to continue. “I want to be on my back. Is that okay? I want to be able to see you both.” Sam nods. Of course you can. Anything you need. “And I know you said no, but I thought that maybe…”
Sam knows what he’s going to ask for. It was one of the rules that he had made before they started, because he thought that it may have been crossing a line, for himself at least. But now that they’re in it this far, he knows that he wants to give this to Jake too.
“I think I know what you need. I’m gonna bring Daniel over, is that okay?” Sam asks, and Jake nods. He wipes tears from his eyes. He’s starting to settle. “Do you want me to stay here with you or go?”
Jake squeezes Sam’s hand, “Please stay.”
Sam nods, staying at his brothers side.
“Daniel, come here, baby. I think he needs a kiss.” He looks to his brother. “Is that what you want?” Jake nods, but he still seems unsure. “It’s okay, Jake.”
Danny moves to sit next to Jake on the bed, resting a hand on his thigh. “Can I kiss you, baby?”
Jake nods. The kiss looks so familiar to Sam. It’s gentle, Danny’s hands resting on Jake’s cheeks. They’re both smiling into it and Sam can see as Jake’s entire body begins to relax. All the tension, all the nerves from moments ago melting away. He thinks that in a way, Danny needs this too, just as much as Jake does.
Because Danny isn’t used to this either, sex devoid of emotion and romanticism. Danny is used to Sam, his roaming hands and lips and tongue. His whispers of “darling” and “I love you” and the nails dragging paths down Danny’s back. This is what they both need, Danny and Jake both, a bit of gentleness to cut the tension of this big thing they’re all doing.
“Better?” Danny asks when he pulls away, Jake nods and blushes. Sam can’t help but smile, seeing two of his favorite people treat each other with such care and softness. Danny leans back in for another kiss from Jake, slow and deep, and Sam has butterflies in his tummy. He loves them both so much. “Are you ready for me?”
“Yes.” Jake says, but he’s looking to Sam for reassurance that this is still okay, that Sam is okay. Sam nods and smiles, and Jake turns to Danny. “I’m ready.”
Jake’s mouth is slightly open as they watch Danny undress and slide the condom on. Slowly, pointedly taking his time and putting on a show. It’s working. Jake licks his lips absentmindedly.
Sam steals Danny for a moment before they turn their attention back to Jake. He cups Danny’s face and kisses him deep, hungrily. “I love you.” Sam whispers when he pulls away from the kiss. “Thank you for doing this for us.”
Danny blushes, mouths I love you.
“Go ahead and lie back for him, darling.” Sam says, holding Jake’s hand as he rearranges himself to a more comfortable position. “It’s okay, baby. We’ve got you.”
Sam can tell from the first push inside that Jake is hurting. A dull kind of ache that never changes, just becomes something to get used to. They hold him through it, Danny kissing all over Jake’s face and Sam’s hand resting on his belly, head on his chest. They watch as his expression morphs from one of hurt to one of pleasure, as Danny hits that spot inside of him, little whines escaping his lips, ohs and huhs and oh my gods.
“That’s it, baby.” Sam says, rubbing comforting circles on Jake’s tummy. “Let us hear you, Jakey.”
Jake’s mouth is open in a gasp, breathing heavy. His eyes are pressed painfully shut.
“Sam,” Jake gasps, opening his eyes to look at his baby brother. His eyes are glossed over - sober but drunk on something he recognizes. Drunk on Danny. Drunk on Danny’s cock inside him, and Sam knows that feeling well. He’s feeling short of breath seeing his brother like this. “Sammy, you’re so hard.”
“Yeah.” Sam responds, actually really noticing it himself for the first time. He was so enraptured, so transfixed by what’s going on in front of him that he didn’t have time to think about himself at all. “Sorry, you two look so good together.”
Jake laughs, but it breaks off into a moan when Danny thrusts into him especially hard. They really do fit together so nicely. Sam had expected to feel pangs of jealousy, watching this. It really did start as something he wanted to do for Jake.
But the two of them look so hot together. Lips hovering moments away from touching, sharing breath, skin warm and glistening. Sam reaches out for his boyfriend, hand resting on his cheek, and Danny is beaming at him. He turns his head a bit to place a kiss to Sam’s palm and it all feels right. They’re safe here. Danny is so gorgeous, and this is everything. It’s just another thing they share, another thing to bind them.
“Touch yourself, Sammy.” Danny says with a mischievous grin painted on his face. “You know I love watching you. Why don’t you show Jake how good you look?”
Sam blushes under the praise, embarrassed at the thought of touching himself for his brother’s gaze, but he’s getting harder.
“Jake feels so good. He’s gonna cum for me soon, I can tell. Look at him. Look how much he loves my cock.” And Jake is lying there, completely blissed out, little whines at Danny’s every push. “He feels amazing around me. I’ll cum soon, too. Don’t you want to cum with us?”
It’s almost too much.
“We wanna watch you cum - see how good you can make yourself feel. Don’t we, baby?” Danny says, looking down at Jake. Jake opens his eyes, and Sam can tell he’s surprised that the “baby” was directed at him and he moans.
Jake nods. His eyes falling closed again despite his best efforts to maintain eye contact. “Yeah. I wanna watch you, Sammy.”
It doesn’t feel real, what’s happening, is the thing. As he’s removing his jeans and palming himself through his underwear, it feels imaginary. Like a fucked up fairytale. As he’s getting his cock out, touching himself under the gaze of his brother and his boyfriend who are taking in the sight with a sort of hunger and desire, it feels fake. Like a dream.
But it’s real. His hands on himself, Jake’s hand on his thigh, Danny’s lips on his own, it’s real. When he does cum, and it covers Jake’s tummy, that’s real too.
Jake finishing on his own belly, his cum mixing with Sam’s, and Danny releasing into the condom with his lips on Jake’s neck, it’s all real.
And they collapse to the bed - all tangled together, naked, sweaty, warm, tired.
Sam truly can’t believe what just happened. Even as he’s gathering the cum on Jake’s belly on his fingers, and Danny’s sucking those fingers into his mouth, he can’t believe it. He can’t believe they crossed this line that they can never uncross - but he doesn’t think he would ever change it.
Sam drapes himself along Danny’s back. Watches as Danny cups Jake’s cheek and kisses him softly on the mouth. He holds his breath as Danny is bringing Sam’s hand up to his mouth, kissing every knuckle and murmuring I love you into his palm.
Sam could fall asleep, just like this.
“Josh is gonna be so mad at me.” Jake says with a laugh, lacing his finger’s with Sam’s free hand. “He liked Danny first.”