Chapter Text
Nathaniel could still feel phantom hands roaming his body as he got dressed for his first ever exy banquet. His legs shook with the effort to remain standing, his black shirt and dress pants were too tight, and the red tie that he was struggling with felt suffocating. He gave up with a huff and started untangling the tie for the third time in the last few minutes.
“Give that to me,” Jean said in French as he ripped the tie from Nathaniel’s hands.
Jean sounded exasperated but Nathaniel could detect the hint of fear that lay underneath. They would be leaving for the banquet in the next half hour and were expected to be on their best behaviour if they wanted to avoid Riko’s wrath. Jean once told him that Riko was worse on banquet days because of how Kevin slipped away from him at a banquet. Personally, Nathaniel thought that Riko should be over it by now considering how much time had passed but if anyone knew how to hold a grudge it was Riko.
He accepted his tie back from Jean and begrudgingly put it around his neck, it felt like a noose.
Jean had already finished dressing and turned around to look Nathaniel up and down before pausing with his eyes on his neck.
“We need to do something about those,” Jean said, looking away, as he walked around Nathaniel to their shared bathroom.
He reached up self consciously to where he knew his neck was littered with hickies and bruised fingerprints. Reacher was never gentle and, on nights where he forced himself on Nathaniel, he often woke up with several hickies and handprints around his neck and along his waist and thighs. He shuddered, making himself wince as the movement pulled at his stitches.
Jean walked back into the room, makeup compact in hand, and sat down on his bed, gesturing for Nathaniel to do the same. He saw no point in arguing so he sat down in front of Jean and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his dress shirt. Jean opened the compact and tapped the applicator into the foundation before reaching out towards Nathaniel’s neck, making him flinch. Jean froze with his hand in the air.
“Just do it,” Nathaniel said, leaning his head to the side so that Jean had better access.
He hated it when Jean treated him with kid gloves and silently kicked himself for being so obvious about his discomfort. As Jean started dabbing makeup onto his neck, Nathaniel grabbed fistfuls of his pant fabric to avoid shoving Jean’s hands away from him. He had to get himself together before they met with the other ravens to board the bus for Penn State.
After a few minutes, there was a brisk knock at the door and Riko opened it without waiting for a response. Jean was quick to hide the compact under the folds of his blanket but Riko’s knowing gaze as he looked them both over told Nathaniel that he had noticed.
“Come,” Riko commanded as he strode out of the room towards the raven lounge.
Jean was quick to follow and Nathaniel tried his best to keep up with them but his injuries made it difficult. Every step pulled at the stitches on his chest and thighs and Reacher had been especially violent the night before so he was also sporting a prominent limp. Nathaniel was swaying on his feet by the time they reached the lounge.
The other ravens were already standing in front of the master as he examined their banquet attire. He thought the whole thing was ridiculous and performative seeing as how they all wore matching outfits and accessories but he kept that to himself as he took his place on Riko’s right, Jean already stood on Riko’s left. Without Jean directly by his side, Nathaniel felt more tense than usual and he knew that it must be the same for the frenchman if his rigid posture was anything to go by.
After Tetsuji went down the line and examined his team, the perfect court was given the go ahead to lead the ravens down the dark halls, up the stairs and out of the nest. Nathaniel rolled his eyes at the whole ordeal but his thoughts came to a halt when Riko punched in the code to the last door and he was met with the cool, West Virginia air.
He closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment to enjoy the feeling of the wind on his face before opening his eyes, closing off his expression, and boarding the Edgar Allan bus.
He sat in his regular seat by the front of the bus and Jean was quick to join him. Usually, Riko sat a few seats up with the coaches but today he made his way directly to Nathaniel and Jean.
“I heard you and Reacher had a fun night yesterday, Nathaniel.” Riko smirked and pointedly looked towards his neck.
Jean tensed and gripped Nathaniel’s leg tightly as a warning to keep his mouth shut. Nathaniel had to stop himself from stabbing Jean with the sharpened butter knife he carried with him at all times. He took a deep breath and turned away from Riko so that he could look out the window. It was petulant and childish but Nathaniel did not care, he had quickly learned to pick his battles at the nest so that Jean was not caught in the crossfire.
Riko waited for a reply and when he did not get one he scoffed and sauntered up to his seat near the coaches. Jean let out a breath and relaxed into the seat, taking out his phone and headphones to get ready for the long drive. Nathaniel was not permitted a phone yet so he was set to endure the almost five hour long drive in silence. He knew that the drive would be unbearable from the moment he had sat down, unable to find a position that did not send shooting pain up his legs and into his lower back. His scars were also itchy and painful, the cold always made his skin ache and pull painfully. Sitting in silence with only pain and memories from the night before was getting to be too much so Nathaniel let his mind drift away from his body.
He was brought back to the present when Jean shook his shoulder and called his name. From the look of concern on the other man’s face, Nathaniel suspected that he had been trying to get his attention for a while but he could not bring himself to care as he looked back out the window.
“We’re five minutes away,” Jean whispered.
“Goodie,” Nathaniel replied sarcastically.
“Will you be okay tonight?” Jean looked so worried it almost made him laugh.
He thought that the question was stupid considering Jean had been the one to stitch him up after Riko’s torture and had found him shivering and unresponsive on the floor of their shower after Reacher.
“I’ll be fine, let’s just get this over with,” Nathaniel stood up as soon as the bus parked, effectively ending the conversation.
Jean hesitated but ultimately stood up and followed him off of the bus. As the ravens gathered outside of Penn State’s exy stadium, the master checked over their clothes one last time before leading the way into the building. The ravens easily fell into formation with Riko, Nathaniel, and Jean leading them through the main entrance and into the stadium.
The court was covered in streamers of varying blues with folding chairs and tables spread out across the space. The ravens were one of the last teams to arrive so the court was already filled with athletes dressed in more colours and styles than Nathaniel had ever seen. At the far end of the space was a podium that would be utilized by the master and other speakers. The coaches were gathered toward the front of the room, near the podium, as they made polite conversation near their designated table.
Nathaniel had only been let out of the nest once in the last eight years for his debut game with the ravens but that had been nothing like this. It had been years since he was surrounded by so many people and it was overwhelming to say the least. The fluorescent lights, the constant noise, and the people brushing up against him as they walked by was all too much. Jean was right to be worried, he could not do this, his breathing was getting shallow. Jean grabbed his arm without looking at him and Nathaniel understood the unspoken warning and directed all of his attention on keeping pace with Riko as he led the ravens towards their table.
Nathaniel felt Jean tense and followed his gaze to find that they were assigned to the same table as the foxes. He knew that Riko must have had something to do with this and that tonight was not going to be a good one for him and Jean.
“It’s so nice to see you, Danielle, or should I say ‘Hennessy’?” Riko shook the foxes captain's hand.
Matthew ‘Matt’ Boyd, one of the starting backliners for the foxes tensed and looked like he was going to say something before Danielle put a hand on his bicep.
“Dan’s fine,” the captain addressed Riko, “Why don’t we all sit down,” she continued as the foxes began taking their seats.
Riko, already looking irritable, sat opposite Dan with Nathaniel on his right sitting across from Kevin, and Jean on his left sitting across from Boyd. Andrew Minyard sat next to Kevin followed by Aaron Minyard and Nicholas Hemmick and, Next to Matt, sat Renee Walker followed by Allison Reynolds and Seth Gordon. As the ravens took their seats, Reacher sat on Nathaniel’s right with Johnson sitting beside him. Oh, yes this was definitely going to be a bad night.
To say that Kevin looked uncomfortable was an understatement. He was clearly already drunk and was doing his best to make himself invisible, a feat that was undermined by Andrew Minyard loudly humming a tune by his side.
“Kevin, I hope you realize how foolish you’ve been. There is still a spot for you with Edgar Allen as an assistant coach but we’re getting impatient.” The threat was obvious in Riko’s tone.
For a minute it seemed like Kevin was going to ignore Riko entirely but he seemed to be fighting off his panic.
“I am satisfied with where I am, thank you.” was the underwhelming reply.
Even when Kevin stood up to Riko it sounded pathetic, Nathaniel could not stifle his scoff.
“And who are you, little birdie?” Andrew asked, trademark manic grin stuck in place.
“Nathanial Wesninski” he replied, the name felt wrong on his tongue.
There was no point elaborating, he had already played his first game with the ravens and information about him was readily available online. The public narrative was that Nathaniel’s mother had died tragically in a car accident and, soon after, Nathaniel moved in with Kevin and Riko to join the perfect court. It was a believable story considering how Nathan Wesninski was a public friend of the Moriyamas; however, the public story neglected a few truths. When Nathaniel’s mother had failed to run away with him after his tryout at evermore, she had been tortured and killed by his father. Nathaniel was then ‘gifted’ to Tetsuji at ten years old to train with the perfect court as property of the Moriyama family.
“God, he’s so hot. I wouldn’t mind having him wrapped around me,” Hemmick interrupted Nathaniel’s train of thought.
The comment floored him for a moment and he felt the beginnings of panic claw at his throat, nothing good ever came from people talking about him like that. He was so taken aback that he had not realized that the comment was spoken in German until Aaron replied in the same language.
“Oh my god can you shut the fuck up for once, Nicky?” The non-manic Minyard snapped.
“Look, I know you’re like super straight but even you have to admit he’s fine as hell.”
“It’s not polite to speak about someone when they’re sitting right in front of you,” Nathaniel replied coolly in fluent German.
Nathaniel heard Andrew laugh but he refused to take his eyes off of Nicky.
“Oh wow okay umm this is awkward I’m sorry,” Nicky fumbled over himself.
At least he had the decency to look embarrassed, Nathaniel thought, Reacher and Johnson were far too proud for that.
Suddenly, he felt Riko’s hand dig into the skin of his thigh, furious at being left out of the conversation. Riko’s nails were digging into the stitches that Jean had sewed into Nathaniel’s skin the night before. In that moment, Nathaniel was grateful for the stupid matching outfits because his blood would not show through the fabric.
“Kevin, you will be coming back to the ravens, do not drag this on for longer than you already have,” Jean cut in in English, changing the conversation back to something that would appease Riko.
“Yes Kevin, we expect you back before the end of the year,” Riko was back to smirking but his death grip on Nathaniel’s thigh did not lessen.
Nathaniel was struggling to keep still under Riko’s hand but was saved from doing so by the catering crew’s appearance. Riko let go of his leg in favour of starting his meal and Nathaniel could not help the relieved sigh that escaped him. When he looked up, he made direct eye contact with Andrew who seemed to have watched the whole interaction. Nathaniel looked away, feeling uncomfortable and seen.
He looked down at the plate of rice, chicken and broccoli that was placed in front of him and could not remember the last time he had been given so much food. Without needing to be told twice, Nathaniel started shovelling food into his mouth at a speed that was probably too fast to be considered normal. Once he was halfway finished with his plate, Riko subtly nudged it with his hand as a queue to stop eating and so he did. Of course, being served a large portion of food was not blanket permission to finish it, he should not have gotten his hopes up. What was wrong with him today? He kept acting like a child.
In that moment, Nathaniel could not help but resent Kevin for abandoning him and Jean without a second thought. Now, he could eat however much he wanted, could play exy to the best of his abilities without having to worry about overshadowing Riko, and could go outside at any time. If Nathaniel was being honest, he had resented Kevin long before he had left the nest. Kevin never had to worry about the other ravens sneaking into his room in the middle of the night, he never had to worry about Riko torturing him for hours on end, and he never had to worry about mandated therapy sessions that were really just an excuse to test out alternate torture methods. He wanted to punch Kevin in the face just to see him bleed. No, Nathaniel was not like Nathan, he was not.
He dug the nails of his right hand into the wrist of his left arm, welcoming the pain as a distraction.
The rest of the meal passed without incident and the next thing he knew, the tables and chairs were being cleared and the athletes were encouraged to mingle and dance. Jean subtly helped Nathaniel stand, sitting for hours on a bus and then again during dinner was taking a toll on Nathaniel’s sore, aching body. Once they were standing in raven formation, Jean grabbed his left wrist to make sure that the damage he had inflicted on himself was not too severe.
“I’m fine, Jean, leave it alone,” he snapped in french, he was not in the mood to be coddled, especially not in such a public place.
Nathaniel yanked his arm back and walked away from Jean and the other ravens. He needed to find a bathroom, he needed to get away from all of the noise and the people, he needed a second to breathe.
He left the court and made his way down a narrow hallway until he found a sign for a bathroom. He slipped inside and walked straight towards the sinks, turning one on and splashing cold water on his face. Nathaniel was so focused on regulating his breathing that he had not noticed the bathroom door opening until he looked up and saw Reacher standing behind him in the mirror. He startled and turned around which Reacher took as an invitation to press himself against his front.
“Riko told me to come find you.” Reacher whispered into his ear.
Reacher’s breath was hot and his cologne was strong, Nathaniel should not have isolated himself, he had just made himself a target. He tried to wriggle away but he was trapped between Reacher’s body and the sink. Reacher noticed his attempts to escape and smirked, placing his large hands on Nathaniel's hips and pressing him hard against his growing erection.
“Mmm don’t pretend that you don’t want this,” Reacher started licking and sucking down Nathaniel’s neck.
“You’re fucking disgusting,” he spat and tried to push the larger raven away.
“That’s not a no,” Nathaniel could feel Reacher’s smile on his neck, he wanted to vomit.
“Get the fuck off of me!” he yelled louder. “You can’t do this here, someone could walk in at any moment” He was starting to get desperate.
He felt trapped, he just wanted a break, why could he never catch a break? Reacher’s hands were now pushing him down to his knees, as rough and violent as ever, and soon his mouth was forced open and his hair was being pulled hard as Reacher thrust into him with abandon. Nathaniel stopped fighting after a while, it always hurt more when he fought back, and soon he was choking as Reacher finished without warning. He left Nathaniel on the cold floor as he pulled his pants back up and left the bathroom. Nathaniel wiped the stickiness off of his chin and sat himself back against the wall, his jaw hurt, his hands were shaking, and his skin felt too tight.
He could not do this anymore, even when he was outside of the nest he was not safe, they would always find a way to get to him. Nathaniel curled himself into a ball with his head tucked between his knees and let his tears fall as his mind distanced itself from his body. He was faintly aware of the bathroom door opening again and someone approaching him but he did not react as he embraced the comfort of nothingness.