Chapter Text
Matt Casey put the phone down on the kitchen table with a weak smile, which didn’t go unnoticed by Griffin as he walked in on his surrogate father.
“Was that Sylvie?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. Matt always looked the same after his FaceTimed with his girlfriend: a goofy smile accompanied by a faraway look in his eyes.
“What’s that, buddy?” asked Matt startled out of his daydream, clearly not having heard a word of Griffin’s question.
“I asked how Sylvie was,” replied the teenager.
“Oh yeah, good, good. She says hi. You should have heard how excited she is. She’s getting two more ambos for her paramedicine programme, and a couple more paramedics are volunteering as well apparently. Whole thing’s really taken off.”
“That’s great!”
“Yeah, yeah it is.” Matt took a deep breath in and exhaled it out, saying in awe, “I’m so proud of her, she’s amazing.”
“But…?”
Matt’s head spun round looking at Griffin in surprise.
“No buts! Why would you say that?”
“Just thought…never mind…”. Griffin paused, rethinking what he was about to say as he changed the subject abruptly. “I thought I would do dinner this evening - Chicken Parmesan?”
“Sure, sounds great, thanks, but don’t forget it’s Ben’s turn to do the dishes.” Matt went back to staring into the distance, without commenting further.
Pretending not to notice, Griffin switched the oven on and opened the fridge door, pulling out a few chicken fillets from the bottom shelf. Something was up with Matt - and Griffin thought he knew exactly what it was.
It was over six months since the man who had become his surrogate father had sacrificed everything to move across the country and look after him and Ben.
Griffin still wasn’t sure if he could ever repay him, and after a period of mounting guilt, a few months ago, Matt had sat him down and reassured him he had nothing to feel bad about.
Matt was happy in Oregon and loved his new role with Portland Fire & Rescue. He was becoming a better firefighter because of the experience he was gaining. Fighting forest fires was a whole new ballgame, and he loved the thrill of it.
As far as he was concerned, Matt had said at the time, he hadn’t had to give up anything to make the move. He still had Sylvie, they were still strong together, and his role at the CFD was open, meaning when the time was right, he would be able to return and pick up his life where he left it off.
Until then, there were phones, and email and flights meaning Matt was able to keep in touch with everyone back in Chicago, not just Sylvie. Most of all, Matt had reassured him, he was loving this opportunity to reconnect with him and Ben.
Since that conversation, Griffin hadn’t mentioned Matt’s sacrifice again. He knew Matt was happy to step in and help out like this, it was in his nature. Griffin had never forgotten him when he had done it before, and this time, just when he thought he had exhausted all his options, he knew Matt was the right person to turn to. It’s why he chose to head to Chicago and seek him out.
However, that didn’t mean that Griffin took Matt’s reassurances on face value. Sometimes he caught Matt in what was best described as a daydream. It wasn’t that he ever came across as sad, just sometimes a little wistful, and more often than not it was after he had spoken to his girlfriend.
Griffin knew that no matter how many times Matt spoke to Sylvie and no matter how often she came to stay, he was missing her.
He just wouldn’t admit it, being prone to keeping his feelings to himself and just in case the boys would get the wrong idea. However, both Griffin and Ben understood more than Matt realised.
They even missed Sylvie themselves when she wasn’t around. They had grown to love her, not just because Matt did, but because she was a breath of fresh air and the complete opposite of what their mother had eventually become. They still loved her of course, but her woes had taken their toll on them over the years. When Sylvie visited with her sunny disposition, it felt like they were a proper family unit, something neither of the boys had had for the majority of their lives. When she wasn’t there, something was missing.
Ben and Griffin had discussed it together. No matter what Matt said, they hated that Sylvie and Matt were apart because of them, and they had made a pact that they would both do whatever possible to make sure the couple could spend meaningful time together.
Looking at Matt sitting quietly at the kitchen table and wanting to cheer him up, Griffin thought of an idea. He plonked the chicken down on the counter in front of him, hoping it would be enough noise to snap Matt out of it. It worked. Matt looked up at him.
“Hey, why don’t you get a flight booked and head back to Chicago for a couple of days. You can catch up with everyone, maybe surprise Sylvie? Ben and I can look after ourselves, I mean look at me - I can cook as well as you now!”
Matt raised an eyebrow, “Don’t get ahead of yourself there Griffin. You’ve mastered chicken parmesan, but you are nowhere near ready to attempt my corned beef.” He paused and smiled a little more genuinely than he had a moment ago.
“That aside, it’s nice of you to offer. I wanna catch up with Sev, he’s not much for long chats on the phone.”
He continued with a small smile. “But now isn’t the time. You’ll hear about your college applications soon, and I don’t want to be away for that and Ben is due that math result, and you know how nervous he gets. Besides, not sure if Sylvie needs me surprising her at the moment, she’s got a lot on her plate.”
“I think she’d make time for you.”
“I’m sure she would, but I don’t want her to. What she is doing is too important to be distracted right now. Sylvie’s visiting the end of next month, I’ll see her then. We all will.” Matt stood up from the table, the chair making a loud noise as it scraped against the floor. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over.
“Where’s Ben got to?” he asked. “He promised he would be back well before dinner.”
“Its only 5.30. He’s got time. And don’t think I don’t know you changed the subject,” Griffin added with a grin.
“Don’t know what you mean,” said Matt nonchalantly as he picked up a knife and helped the teenager chop up some greens for a salad.
A few days later, Matt was on shift sitting in his office. Although it was about three times the size of his old one at 51, and the window view over the river wasn’t half bad, he just didn’t like it as much. It was away from where the rest of the firefighters bunked and he missed hearing the usual banter and camaraderie like in the old firehouse.
This office was quiet. Too quiet. And even though he couldn’t deny that it did make it easier to plough through paperwork, the vast majority of the time he kept his door open, hoping to pick up on whatever he could from the goings on in the corridor outside.
The shift he worked with were a great bunch. Solid firefighters, committed to their jobs and the community they worked in. They were even good for a beer or two and there was a firefighter bar round the corner he found himself at more than once. It was no Mollys of course, Herrmann would have balked at the bad beer it served, but the guys seemed to like it, and if Griffin and Ben were busy with their own thing, Matt enjoyed hanging out there.
All in all, he had settled in well at Station 1, and he knew he would be quite happy there over the next few years until he returned to Chicago.
Matt picked up the paperwork, filling out an incident report from a small kitchen fire they had attended that morning. All of a sudden, a noise from outside startled him and he turned his head towards the open door.
He recognised one of the paramedics he worked with talking in a raised voice just outside. Davis was a fiery sort, known to fly off the handle once or twice. However, it was rarely without reason, and he was a nice guy, passionate about his job and well respected. This time he didn’t just sound angry, he was also clearly upset.
“Dispatch, again! There was no need for that! Just no need.” Casey could hear every word from his desk.
“Those idiots wouldn’t know triage if someone hit them over the head with it. Who knows if that boy is gonna make it. If we had just been five minutes earlier, maybe he would have stood a chance, but now, he’ll be lucky if he wakes up. 14 years old. What a waste! Next time they reroute us like that, I swear to god….” He never finished his sentence.
“Calm down,” came a reply from his much softer partner, Martinez. “You know how it works. Dispatch do their best with what information they have. We can’t just ignore calls, even if we know chances are its old Mr Nelson, off his meds and screaming down the block. We cover it all, no matter what. Can’t blame dispatch. The answer is simple. We need more ambos. Paramedics. But the City wont budge on the budgets, you know that as well as I do.”
There was no reply for a moment.
“Well it sucks. I’m telling you. It sucks. And its just not good enough.”
Matt stood up from his chair and walked out to the corridor.
“Tough call?” He asked sympathetically.
“You could say that. Kid shot across in Hazlewood. We were in the area but got rerouted to Montavilla to help the PPB out with one of our frequent flyers. We tried to get back as fast as we could but he had lost so much blood by the time we got there. Sometimes…this job…pushes me to breaking point.”
Davis couldn’t carry on, and walked past Casey without another word, heading to the bathrooms. The captain caught his partner’s eyes.
“Not sure how much longer he is going to cope with this. Never seen him like quite like that,” Martinez said before following him in the same direction.
Casey walked back into his office, closing the door behind him and taking a seat at his desk with a sigh. It wasn’t the first time he had heard this from the paramedics, and not just here in Portland. It all sounded eerily familiar and it was a similar incident that had made Sylvie so passionate about her paramedicine programme.
Absent-mindedly scratching his arm, he picked up his cell phone instinctually wanting to talk to her, but when he dialled, it went to voicemail - not surprisingly. They still rarely managed to catch up with each other when they were both on shift.
Thankfully sticking to their routine was working for them, and they managed to speak every other day, and text each other in between that. He still hadn't stopped leaving her what had become his traditional good morning voicemail. Every day, for over 6 months straight and she had told him one visit she had saved them all. She was the first thing he thought of when he woke up in the morning, and he really wanted her to know that. So, they had a routine, and the long distance still sucked but they were making it work as best they could.
However, no matter how much effort they made, he missed her like crazy and he although he wasn’t willing to admit it, he was struggling to cope without her. It was much harder than he had thought it would be and no matter how many times she visited, it was never long enough. She completed him, and without her, he just didn’t feel himself.
Sighing, he looked at the picture of the two of them from Cruz and Chloe’s baby shower she had saved as a screensaver on his phone. They hadn’t told anyone they were together back then, but looking at them beaming at each other, he knew it must have been glaringly obvious. Everything had seemed so simple to them both on that day.
Now, months later, here they were, living on the other side of the country to each other. He would never have dreamed in a million years that this would happen when that photo was taken.
Secretly, he would do anything to have her come and stay for longer - ideally forever - but he knew it would be unfair to ask her again. She had made her feelings clear, and paramedicine was too important to just abandon like that. He could never be that selfish. She should never be put into a position where she should think about moving just for him, just because he missed her. Sylvie deserved more.
Setting the phone down on his desk, he scratched the back of his head as a thought slowly started to form in his head. His eyes widened as he realised he may really be onto something.
Why had it never occurred to him before? Excitedly, he picked up his office phone, and dialled the extension for Chief Warren, the paramedic field chief in his district.
“Chief Warren, Captain Casey here. How’s it going? Listen, I’ve got an idea I want to run past you. Got time for a beer after shift?”