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It’s been so long…The world keeps spinning and time keeps going but it hasn't gone away. The years haven't washed away the pain, the distance hasn't mended his wounds. It’s been so long since he’s had anyone… and he just can’t do it anymore.
It’s been 3 years since Peter Parker erased himself from the world. Three years since he walked away from love, friendship, and lost everything he had left. He’s tried to move on, even if it’s not for himself. He tried to power through the day to make it to nights as Spiderman where at least he can be seen. But saving people just gets harder and harder when you can't save yourself and there’s no one to catch you when you fall. Tonight Peter’s falling but all he can think of is failing, what he should be doing but can't. How he can't pull himself together to save himself and there’s no one left to save him. An eternity ago, in a different suit, as someone who feels foreign to himself now, there would have been a safety feature in the suit or a mentor to save him from the depths he finds himself drowning in. But he’s gone and no one is here. No one but Peter and his thoughts and his final goodbyes. His first goodbye is to the world, the world which he loved so much he left everything he had, gave everything he had, to save. The world that would just keep taking from Peter until the only thing left he had to give was himself. But even in his final thoughts of turmoil there is no bitterness, only regret that he had nothing left to give. His next goodbye is to Spiderman, he knows this is himself but feels he has failed the expectation of who the world needed him to be. He was Spiderman but Spiderman was never him, Spiderman was something bigger and better than he ever could be. His other goodbyes are to MJ, Happy, Ned… All the people who had once cared even if they were no longer there to witness the fallout. The people who should have been there to help him if the world hadn't demanded so much of him. The final goodbye is to Peter Parker. To the bright young boy he knows he failed. To the person with a future he knows he killed, the person he always let down and is now drowning. In a final bitter goodbye he lets himself acknowledge one last grievance he has against himself. For letting him kill Peter Parker and Spiderman in one shot, for letting them both down when he should have been better for both of them. Because even though he once was Peter and Spiderman and everything in between there is nothing left to fail. As he lets the last traces of Peter Parker die with Spiderman at the bottom of a lake that somebody, anybody should have been able to save him from.