Chapter Text
Callie stood there, tablet in her hands, stumped. After another raucous night of drinking and sex dominoes with her roommate Sallie, there was yet another app installed on her device. Desex Checklist , it read, the icon resembling a stock shopping list icon. The laziness…! she thought, sneering. It wasn’t just the fact that it sounded like something she didn’t need (weird sex had to be in the top two or three things in her life), but to publish an app with some kind of template icon…
“Sallie!!! You been downloading apps again?” The purple-haired woman shouted towards the living room of her apartment. Initially clear, a figure rose from a layer of discarded fast food wrappers and beer cans, which clinged and clanged to the ground as she sat up. A woman with orange-blond hair and heavy, smudged makeup stretched and yawned, her oversized band t-shirt hanging from her shoulders while her arms creaked to and fro. It took a moment of yawning and grunting, stretching and cracking, before her answer rolled lazily out of her mouth.
“yeh”
“The fuck?! I told you to keep the shit to your own devices!”
As Callie brought a palm to her face, she began to fall, pivoting slightly so that she’d land on one of the round, navy cushions lying around. It was a bit dramatic, sure, but why keep a bunch of cushions around if you weren’t planning on falling gracefully onto them? Sallie, meanwhile, walked around another cushion to sit across from Callie. Well, more like lounge , as she laid back a fair amount. “acktyually bitch you said dont download shit cuz you dont wanna ‘play IT for my sorry ass’ if i recall correctly”
Callie sat up, teeth clenched. “Yeah, yes, actually I did! The fuck is a ‘Desex Checklist’???”
The fact that Sallie’s brow furrowed, clearly unfamiliar with what she had just heard, caused Callie to basically chuck the tablet at her roommate. Sallie groaned, before sitting up slightly and beginning to fiddle with the tablet.
As the two sat across from each other, it was clear that they were clear contrasts of one another. While Callie was not necessarily a neat freak, she was definitely a lot more well put-together than Sallie. Not only that, but a whole lot more high-strung, although that didn’t mean that she necessarily disliked Sallie… there was just friction here and there, naturally. Callie crossed her arms as she tapped her foot, leering at Sallie, who was idly pecking at the screen.
[tok]
Callie winced. “Are you opening the app? What if it bricks my shit, Sallie ??”
“chill. im pretty sure these things are supposed to ask for permission or whatever before hacking your social credit numbers or w/e”
“That’s Not Reassuring, Sallie !”
Callie’s pleas were for naught, though. Sallie had opened the weird app, which had caused the screen to go black. For a moment, what looked like command prompt text, mint-colored text against the dark background, flashed, but it’d change to a spinner in the corner of the screen, likewise a mint-flavored color.
“that was weird”
“ What Was Weird??? ” Callie’s tone had grown awfully high in pitch.
Unfortunately, this was far from the last thing to worry about, as the flash from the camera on the back of the tablet went off, scaring the shit out of Callie. She set records, with a sitting vertical leap more than a few feet as she basically shot off the cushion and onto the hardwood floor with an OOF .
“What the fuck! What the fuck? What The Fuck? What The Fuck!” Callie had a chant going on as she quickly scuttled back around the cushion, eyes wide like dinnerplates. Sallie, instead, threw her head back as she guffawed at her roommate’s reaction. Naturally, Callie wasn’t pleased, as she quickly shot to her feet, steamed. “What’s so GOD DAMNED funny?! I’m out here getting my identity stolen, I gotta call the fucking BANK …!”
Sallie’s laughter trailed off, and she instead had something else to offer. “huh. weird.” Callie’s anger quickly faded, instead replaced in full with her paranoia.
“What?? What’s weird?”
“i think i see the checklist… huh.”
On the screen, much to Sallie’s bemusement, was a picture of Callie. Though, instead of the one that would have come from the flash going off (which, frankly, would have been a terrible picture), it looked like a portrait head shot, but instead of something used for getting an acting gig, it had the odd flat lighting of a textured, 3D model open in rendering software. Though, at the same time, it was certifiably a picture, like, a real life picture of Callie, not any kind of model or depiction.
It was jarring. Beneath the headshot was, as Sallie ascertained, a checklist. The checklist, possibly; the checklist looked like simple HTML, flat-colored boxes with borders, with text in each box preceded by a green check mark. As opposed to all the mintiness earlier, the main color here was purple. In fact, it was the exact same shade of purple as Callie’s hair. All in all, the app was incredibly simple in design.
However, it wasn’t the design that was the most curious part of what was on screen… it was the text of the list itself. Each box had a different thing inside, and they all seemed to have something to do with sex, at least as far as Sallie was concerned.
✅ EROGENOUS
✅ LIBIDO
✅ ORGASM
✅ AROUSAL
✅ EJACULATE
Further down the list, there were body parts. As opposed to the others, some had check marks, others had red crosses next to them.
✅ VAGINA
✅ OVARIES
❌ PENIS
❌ TESTICLES
✅ BREASTS
✅ NIPPLES
✅ BUTTOCKS
✅ ANUS
✅ HIPS
✅ THIGHS
✅ BODY HAIR
✅ LIPS
✅ FEET
✅ HANDS
✅ ODOR
A couple of these additions caused Sallie’s brow to crinkle. Though, the thing that got her most was how… clinical it sounded. Buttocks? Anus? Penis? C’mon, they lived in [CURRENT YEAR] , the app designers really needed to get with the times. As she scrolled through the various options, Sallie tried (and failed) to piece together what any of this ultimately meant. Is it saying Callie has those things? Because, like, she did , that’s for sure.
“... Sallie! What’s it look like? What are you doing?!” Callie’s shrill voice snapped Sallie out of her thought loops. As she focused, though, she noticed that she had accidentally pressed her thumb against the screen, which caused one of the boxes to darken… they were buttons! She was accidentally holding down the BREASTS button with her thumb, so, with a “whoops” she shifted her thumb back, off of it.
[tok]
“...what? Why are you staring at me like that?” Callie looked down towards her white tanktop, which clung smooth and flat against her washboard chest. As she looked closer, inspecting, she attempted to pinch at the fabric. “Do I have a stain or something, I gotta go out later and I don’t wanna look shabby.”
Sallie merely stood there, dumbfounded. It had felt like some kind of… flip, the feeling of accidentally skipping a step when going down the stairs, but she had been standing right there. Callie had been across from her, same as before, but there was a notable difference before and after…
“yo. where them titties go”
Just seconds ago, Callie had a C cup, perky and proud in that tanktop. This was something Sallie cherished immensely, a view she never took for granted. Hell, she had Callie’s measurements memorized, which she couldn’t say for her parents’ address or her brother’s birthday. Now, though… Callie was flat as the proverbial board. Sallie wasn’t a math nerd or anything, but she knew a full 180 degrees when she saw one. If she wasn’t so damned perplexed, it was something that would’ve brought her to tears.
Initially, Callie’s head cocked to the side, clearly confused by Sallie’s words. “Titties? What the hell are you talking about… you didn’t say yes to any perms, did you??? ”
Sallie gawked in bewildered silence for a few more moments, gaze flicking up and down, from the screen, back to Callie. To the big red X next to BREASTS, back to exactly that on Callie’s chest. To the other options, still green, back to Callie’s shirt, which appeared to have readjusted its size to account for the change.
“uh… i dont think this is sposed to steal your bank info cal”