Chapter Text
The trio had been back home together for only two weeks after things had been resolved. Sasha’s eye was still bandaged and Marcy could barely leave the bed or stand on her own, while Anne adjusted to her prosthetic arm. It would be an understatement to say that things had been rough, not only because of their physical injuries but because of the test that their friendship had been put under. Sasha struggled to accept that she and Anne were staying at the same house even after everything she had done to Anne. For now, Sasha slept on a spare mattress in Anne’s room while she and Marcy slept in Anne’s bed out of convenience. Sasha actually preferred it this way for the most part, considering she didn’t think she even deserved the mattress, maybe she deserved sleeping on the carpet itself.
Every day went mostly the same. They’d be woken up by Mrs. Boonchuy who brought in water and medication and then went back to bed for another few hours when the sun was too bright to sleep through. Anne and Sasha would head downstairs and get breakfast but they’d eat it upstairs to keep Marcy company. It’s not that they couldn’t help her get downstairs but rather the fact that Marcy simply didn’t want to get out of bed. The rest of their day would either include some form of entertainment like watching youtube, trying to convince Marcy to practice walking again, changing Sasha’s bandage and constantly readjusting the mechanics of Anne’s arm. All of which felt very exhausting when put together.
Today was meant to be just another one of these days but this time there was something new to their routine; Mrs. Boonchuy was going back to the restaurant for the first time since they had returned. She had decided to stay home considering Anne had lost an arm and there were two more kids to look after. So in the morning she woke them up earlier than usual to say goodbye and informed them of important things they may need to know throughout the day.
“Don’t use the stove, I bought you three many snacks for the day and there are leftovers in the fridge. If you need anything urgent, call me and I will hurry back. Do you understand?” Mrs. Boonchuy said to Anne who remained laying down in bed half awake with Marcy passed out on the other side of the bed.
“Yeah. Snacks and no stove. I got it.” Anne mumbled.
“And what else Anne…”
When Anne scrunched her face in complaint, her mom leaned down and brushed her bangs off of her face to kiss her forehead.
“I know it’s tough Anne but I need to know you understand.”
“If we need anything urgent, we’ll call you and you’ll be here in a flash. Got it.” Anne acknowledged.
“Thank you. Take care, okay? Mom loves you.” Mrs. Boonchuy kissed her forehead one more time before she stepped around Sasha’s mattress and walked out of the room.
Anne sighed and covered her head with the pillow. There was so much to deal with yet no matter how much they did or how much time passed, it never seemed like they made any progress, and each morning felt like a reminder of that. Anne was still missing an arm, Sasha was still blind in one eye and Marcy was still stuck in bed. Great.
“So… we’re staying home alone now?” Anne heard Sasha ask from below. She uncovered her head and looked over the edge of the bed to where Sasha was laying.
“Yeah. Mom had to go back to work eventually.” Anne replied.
“Hm. You’ll get used to it.”
Anne didn’t reply. She felt like there wasn’t much reply with in the first place, and as a result, silence fell between them. Sasha looked around awkwardly in search of something to keep the conversation running but nothing came. That was until Anne broke the silence first.
“Your bandage is coming off, here-“ Anne pointed out. She stepped out from under the covers and sat cross legged in front of Sasha. Her weight made the mattress dip and Sasha involuntarily slid just mere millimeters closer to Anne, but that seemed far too close.
Anne reached for the bandages stocked by the nightstand and grabbed a new set to replace the worn out fabric that currently covered Sasha’s injured eye.
“I can do it, you don’t have to.” Sasha said. But Anne was already there, it wouldn’t make a difference now.
“Don’t worry about it, you look comfortable anyways. Can I?” Anne asked as she moved her hand close to Sasha’s face.
“I guess.”
Sasha slightly lifted her face from the pillow and allowed Anne to cup her cheek while she leaned over Sasha to get a better look. Now, Sasha was more than aware of her feelings for Anne, as she had been for a very long time. Out of all the times to worry about her crush though, this was probably the worst considering all the things they already had on their plates. It’d be selfish of her to put that on Anne especially after what she went through because of Sasha, so for now her feelings were ignored as best as she could.
“Have you heard from your mom yet?” Anne asked as she began to remove the old bandage.
“Uhm… no. Not yet.” Sasha replied.
“Oh. I’m sure she’ll call you soon.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
By now Anne had been able to uncover Sasha’s eye from beneath the bandage and it seemed to be getting better. Before she applied the new bandage though, Anne reached for the eyedrops and unscrewed the tip.
“I’m gonna put some in our eye, is that okay?”
“Not like I have much of a choice.” Sasha joked.
“I mean, it’s for your own good Sasha.” Anne replied. Her serious tone quickly shut down Sasha’s playfulness.
“Right- I know. Go for it.”
In order to get a steady hand, Anne put an arm over Sasha’s chest and allowed some weight on it. In response to the lack of personal space, Sasha’s breathing came to a halt and Anne took notice.
“Sorry, it’s just easier to put this one like that. Does it hurt?”
“No no, it’s fine. Just do your thing.” Sasha replied in an attempt to sound calm and collected. The two things she certainly was not especially when Anne got dangerously close to her face when applying the eyedrops.
Sasha could be selfish and pull Anne in for a kiss right now and it’d be as easy as ripping paper. But much like paper, things could tear and cuts could form and that wasn’t a risk Sasha wanted to take. Not right now. Even so, she couldn’t stop her mind as it wondered about what kissing Anne would be like or what Anne would do if she just pulled her close and never let go. Maybe she’d stay this time.
“Alright, you’re good in that department.” Anne announced as she moved away from Sasha’s face and screwed the lid back onto the eye drop container.
The loss of contact felt miserable to Sasha, all she wanted was to ask Anne to lay down with her and tell her of all the things she dreamed of doing now that they’re back home. Maybe she just wanted to hear Anne talk to her like she used to. She missed how Anne would laugh at her jokes and how she’d place a hand on Sasha’s shoulder simply because she could. Sasha and Anne were friends since before they knew exactly what love was, but that was the one thing that had always been shared between the two. Platonic or romantic, it was always love that made their relationship as special as it is. But it was also love that tore their hearts just a few months ago. A double edged sword in the hands of a gladiolus flower and a rose.
“You really can’t see out of it?” Anne asked as she kept a hand by Sasha’s cheek.
“What?” Sasha asked as she tried to snap out of the blurry daze that her mind had turned into.
“You can’t see out of this eye right? Like, entirely.” Anne repeated.
“Oh. No, I can’t see out of it. It’s really just a foggy mess”
“Do you think you’ll ever see out of it again?”
“I doubt it.”
“Well, at least your eye is still there.” Anne said.
“Yeah I don’t know how a bionic eye would work for me. I think you pull off the prosthetic thing better than I could anyways.” Sasha joked, and for the first time in a while, she got to see Anne’s genuine smile form because of her and it felt like she had just dug up gold.
Sasha was used to keeping her feelings for Anne away but now that she learned how uncertain the future was, the fear of never being able to express her adoration for Anne was excruciating. It tugged her heart whenever Anne had to leave for a doctor's appointment or when she didn’t come home at the time she said she’d return at. Always a constant fear that maybe things were too calm and that there needed to be danger in order to achieve peace. Now looking at Anne’s smile, she couldn’t help but feel that same fear rotting in her soul. If she ever lost that smile she’d lose a part of herself she can’t live without.
Anne moved on but her smile remained for a few seconds longer. She grabbed the healing cream for Sasha’s scar and put some on her index finger. This was usually the more painful part of her daily routine since the scar was still relatively fresh. Anne managed to make it hurt less as her hands seemed more delicate than Sasha’s own, so at least there was that.
“Ready?” Anne asked after she positioned her hand over the scar.
“Hit me.”
Anne tried as best she could to be gentle and it seemed like her best was enough as Sasha only complained once or twice. She couldn’t help but notice the more faded scar below Sasha’s eye, one that Anne provided on her own accord. Anne wanted it to fade but she knew it would remain there as a harsh reminder of their past. A slap in her face for the mistake she hasn’t fully managed to accept yet. Sure it symbolized her standing up to Sasha but she never meant to hurt her in this way, that was never something Anne aimed to do. She began to wonder how Sasha dealt with the wound in Amphibia, surely they didn’t have healing creams like these in toad tower.
The thought of Sasha healing alone was what really bothered Anne. But now that Sasha laid next to her, Anne could feel a certain relief knowing that she wasn’t alone anymore, even if things between them haven’t been the same. Sasha may have promised to protect them years ago but so did Anne, even if Sasha and Marcy didn’t know.
“Okay all that’s left is the patch and you’re done. I'm not forgetting anything right?” Anne asked.
Sasha’s mind was still lost in its endless conspiration of thoughts. Some of which calculated all the ways their interactions could go although one thought in particular seemed to slip out on accident.
“Yeah, only a kiss.” Sasha mumbled quietly to herself.
“What?” Anne asked.
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You did so. I heard you mumble something.”
“No I didn’t, maybe that was Marcy talking in her sleep again.”
“Oh, yeah maybe.”
Sasha was more than relieved to see Anne let the topic go. She knew one way or another Anne would have annoyed a confession out of her.
“I should probably wake Marcy up to change her bandages too. Do you think you can put the patch on yourself?” Anne asked as she began to move away from Sasha.
“Wait- why don’t you let her sleep in a little more. I'm sure she’s tired.” Sasha suggested.
Sasha had grabbed Anne’s hand before she could stand up. Anne looked down at their hands and a light blush appeared on her face, but nothing more. No smile or raised eyebrows but that didn’t matter because Sasha noticed the blush, as light as it was. Had Anne blushed at her before and she simply never noticed?
“I don’t know…” Anne contemplated.
“She deserves it.”
“… Fine. I’ll give her just until I’m done with you though. Nothing more.”
“That sounds fair.” Sasha agreed.
She let go of Anne’s hand and rested back on the mattress. Sasha hoped Anne would take her time but this step of the bandaging didn’t often take long. Sasha was out of luck there.
“Not too tight?” Anne asked as she leaned back to examine her work. Maybe that wasn’t everything she admired though.
She took this time to look at everything, not just the patch that wrapped around Sasha’s head. Anne looked at how her hair fell on her face, the way her eyebrows provided a sharp fixture to her gaze, even the beauty mark under her left eye. That was one of Sasha’s features Anne adored the most aside from her eyes. She only looked away when the thought of kissing Sasha became a thing. It wasn’t the first time her mind had wondered that way but this time it felt more... feasible, like Anne would actually have done it whereas before, it was a distant and unrealistic idea that she laughed at. Not anymore.
“Nope, it’s perfect. Thank you.” Sasha replied. There was nothing else she could do now to keep Anne close, so she accepted Anne’s distance as she returned to the bed that she and Marcy shared. There was a turmoil of emotions and thoughts circulating inside Sasha’s head, most of which ranged from innocent fluster to overwhelming sadness. Yet now she simply turned to lay facing away from the bed. It was easier to ignore some thoughts if all she could see was the door out.
On the bed, Anne sat in her place and looked over at Marcy who curled up with a stuffed animal where the bed and the wall met. She had always liked that spot; it was comforting to be near the wall and it also made falling out of bed much much harder. Anne looked back over to Sasha who had since turned her back. She couldn’t help but think of how different Sasha felt. Ever since they returned Sasha had been more lenient with things, she actually listened and took other people’s emotions into consideration. It made Anne’s heart feel funny at times, but the deeper feelings were hard to understand. The thought of being affectionate with Sasha again become more appealing every day, but not in the way they used to be. Anne wanted to be close to her but not in the way it was before. Before it was an innocent act of liking your friend enough to accept them into your space but now, she wanted to hug her just to do it. There didn’t need to be a reason as long as it was Sasha. What made all of this hard was the confusion that Anne still harbored deep down over her opinions on Sasha. She couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing her again but there was still an uneasy feeling that kept her from fully accepting the new Sasha. The one who now openly cared for people and stood up for what was right. The one who fought alongside Anne and never left her side. The Sasha that had risked her own skin for Anne’s. Now that she thinks about it, Anne realizes that maybe it was okay to let go of some of her defenses and see if Sasha understood the boundaries herself.
Beside her, Marcy shifted in sleep and turned to face Anne unconsciously. She always looked tired now no matter how much sleep she got. Her eyes had turned dark and sunken in contrast to the sparkly wide caricature it used to be. It was still Marcy though, somewhere buried in the ashes it was still Marcy. Or at least that’s what Anne told herself. If it was up to her, she’d let Marcy sleep as long as she needed but the necessity for strict medicine schedules kept her from achieving that dream.
“Marcy? It’s Anne…” Anne whispered as she cautiously moved her hand to lightly graze Marcy’s shoulder. She’d move the hair from Marcy’s face instead but she knew better than to touch that area without warning.
Marcy shot awake with wide eyes in search of the disturbance.
“Hey, it’s just me.” Anne reassured as she put her hands up in the air to signal innocence
“Oh… Hi Anne.” Marcy replied as she relaxed back against the bed and looked away.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Fine.”
Anne leaned forward but left some space for Marcy’s comfort. Marcy was lying, that’s something Anne was more than certain of but she didn’t take it personally. Anne had been lying about that too.
“You need to change your bandages, Marbles.”
Marcy sighed in annoyance because the thought of seeing the marks on her skin in between bandages was daunting, which is why Anne did it on her behalf most of the time. Even so, it felt humiliating at certain instances and she hated having to be taken care of so intently.
Without saying anything, Marcy turned over to Anne and put her hands forward. She had been putting bandages on her hands, arms, legs and most importantly her chest. Some areas were for pressure while others were to help the scarring heal with no more problems. They took longer to heal than Marcy thought they would.
“I’m sure they’ll call soon, Marmar.” Anne whispered as she got busy with gently removing the bands of fabric and medical tape.
“It’s been two weeks, Anne. Not to mention the other several months before we came back. I wouldn’t expect much from my parents at this point.” Marcy replied.
“Well, you never know.”
Even though she lacked much of it herself, Anne tried to keep her best friends with as much hope and positivity as possible. Otherwise they’d let themselves sink deeper into the water every day.
Marcy could feel as her hands were relieved from the pressure of the bandages and replaced with the tender touch of Anne’s hand. The act itself wasn’t much but simply being held with so much love was a relief that only Anne and Sasha managed to bring after so long; even if she felt selfish sometimes. Now Anne had moved on to removing the bands on the arms which required more personal space to be crossed.
“Is this fine?” Anne asked. She wanted to make sure Marcy was still comfortable especially in a vulnerable time like this.
Marcy nodded and Anne threw her attention back at her task. Anne had reached the bandages by Marcy’s biceps and it required that she keep her arm extended out towards Anne. In this position it seemed like the two would hug and maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
Marcy impulsively bent her arm and pulled Anne in for a hug. At first Anne seemed tense but quickly let go and returned the hug cautiously. She avoided keeping her arms by Marcy’s scar which was hard to do considering it’s size but she made due; a hand held her friend’s head close and the other came to wrap around her upper back. The hug itself didn’t last long due to Marcy’s position and discomfort but the few seconds they did get together felt special. More than it usually did.
“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining- I wouldn’t ever complain about that but- you know what I mean.” Anne said once Marcy pulled away.
“I dunno. You were right there and I thought I might as well…” Marcy replied. She wasn’t lying but she also wasn’t telling the entire truth. If she did tell the whole truth there would be a lot of explaining to follow and Marcy wasn’t ready for that yet.
She really liked Anne and for a long time it was just considered a “really close friendship” but she realized they were suspiciously close and there may be a reason behind that. She considered the possibility of it being a crush although she also felt that way for Sasha and that was confusing. Not like she’d act on any thoughts now anyways, so it didn’t make much sense to dwell on it if it made no difference.
“Well, you know I always like our hugs.” Anne said as she went back to Marcy's bandages.
Marcy was lucky to have already turned away otherwise Anne might have seen the gentle blush that came over her cheeks. It was things like these that made ignoring her feelings difficult but it was more annoying when she didn’t understand where they came from or what they meant exactly. Anne had always been special to her so why does it feel like a different kind of special now.
“Oh also you might want to take a shower Marmar.” Anne said with a smile.
“Hey, I took one…. Uh..” Marcy tried to reply but she simply couldn’t remember the last time she showered.
“Exactly dummy. You don’t even remember.”
“Well if I could shower in bed I would do it more often.” Marcy joked.
“So you’d just lay in a puddle of your own dirty water?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Anne, I'd make an instant drying mattress and bed sheet set. Problem solved.”
“Ah right. Obviously.” Anne replied sarcastically. She caught the slightest sliver of Marcy’s smile as she turned towards Anne momentarily.
“Seriously though, it’s for your own well-being Marbles. I know sometimes it’s rough to get moving but-“
“I know. I’ll try to get in the shower today.” Marcy interrupted.
“Hey I know you two are having your whole thing up there in bed town but some of us are trying to go back to sleep here.” Sasha spoke out lightheartedly from the floor.
“Why don’t you come up here then. I don’t get why you’re still on the floor.” Marcy replied.
“Uh it’d be too crowded and you stink so…”
“Nonsense get up here.”
After a second of silent retaliation, Sasha got up into view. She stood by the bed but didn’t allow herself the privilege of getting on Anne’s bed. It felt oddly intrusive for some reason and she wanted Anne’s permission before doing so. Thankfully Anne took the hint and nodded her head for Sasha to join them.
“Wow so this is what life is like for you bed dwellers?” Sasha joked as she sat near Anne and across from Marcy.
By now Marcy had managed to sit up more, both to help Anne finish the bandaging job but also to be at level with her friends. She still avoided looking down at her bare arms though, she’d leave that for Anne.
“Here, I’ll take the other arm, Anne.” Sasha said as she lifted Marcy’s arm and began to carefully remove the bandages on them.
“Oh, thank you.” Anne replied. She seemed surprised by Sasha’s initiative.
On the other hand, Marcy grew fond of having both of her friends taking care of her. Especially in collaboration after everything that had happened between them so seeing the two together like this was extremely welcomed. Although, Anne was much gentler than Sasha was by nature and she had to remind Sasha to slow down a few times until she got the rhythm right.
“Sorry… my hands are like, big compared to Anne’s.” Sasha apologized. “Makes it harder, ya know.”
“What- no they’re not. How do you even know that.” Anne asked.
“We’ve touched hands before Anne, it doesn’t take a genius.”
“Why don’t you two measure it right now?” Marcy suggested.
Anne and Sasha looked at each other for a moment, both seemed to have gotten lost in their own mind until they agreed. They put their hands out flat and pressed it softly against the other’s. Sasha’s hands were surprisingly soft for someone who didn’t moisturize for months and also yielded a sword every day. It wouldn’t be too bad if she never let go even though her hands were cold, colder than Anne was used to at least. See, Marcy was always naturally warm except for the time she was under the Core’s control but right after she returned to her usual warmth and now that she thinks about it, Sasha was always cold. She felt compelled to warm her up. A hug or a cuddle, anything would do really. Instead Sasha pulled her hand away first and accepted her victory.
“See, I told you. My hand is bigger.”
“Oh- right we were measuring. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Anne accepted.
“Hey, I want to measure our hands, Sasha.” Marcy asked excitedly.
“Sure thing Marmar, give me your hand.”
Anne watched as Marcy didn’t hesitate to extend her hand for Sasha to hold and for some reason that made Anne’s heart feel funny. It wasn’t a bad feeling and at first Anne thought it was jealousy but quickly discarded the idea, that surely wasn’t it. If it wasn’t jealousy and if it wasn’t discomfort, what else would it be.
“Wow your hands are… SMALL small.” Sasha joked. “I mean, you as a person I guess. You’re cute.”
Marcy took notice of Sasha's word choice and it seems like Anne did too. If anyone was looking too closely, they’d be able to see the gentle blush on both of their cheeks.
“What?” Marcy asked quietly.
“I think you’re cute- like, you’re small and it’s cute I mean.” Sasha cleared up even though it sounded like she was trying to carefully pick out her words.
“Thank you? I think it’s cute you have big hands. They’re surprisingly soft.” Marcy replied.
With that, Sasha had her own set of blushed cheeks and Anne took notice of it all. She noticed how Sasha and Marcy smiled at each other with rose tinted faces while their hands remained touching lightly even though they had been put down. None of it felt wrong or awkward. Anne wanted to join them in fact, but how would that work… It took her a second to realize that this was flirting. Her best friends were flirting.
“Hold on, let me get your hair pin, there’s a loose strand.” Sasha said as she reached across Anne and took a yellow hair clip from the nightstand.
She carefully held Marcy’s head in place while adjusting the clip on. Their faces were close enough to kiss and they remained like that for just a few seconds until it naturally broke off.
“Anne, are you okay?” Marcy asked as her attention shifted to the only other person in the room, other than herself and Sasha. She probably noticed Anne staring with wide eyes accompanied by a rose cheek.
“What- yeah no I'm fine. Just uh, zoned out I guess.” Anne stammered.
“Let me check your head for a fever. Your face is red...” Sasha said as she leaned forward and placed a hand on Anne’s forehead. She moved her hand to Anne’s cheek and then her neck for added measure. “Yeah, you’re a bit hot.”
“What?!”
“Your temperature… It's hot. Not too bad but like… still warm.”
“Oh. I thought you meant something else.” Anne sounded somewhat disappointed.
“What did you think I meant?” Sasha asked her.
“Don’t worry about it it’s dumb. Can you finish helping Marcy? I need to go give Domino her food.”
“Uhm... yeah sure.”
Once she knew Marcy would be taken care of, Anne jumped off the bed and headed downstairs into the empty living room where Domino wondered about.
“Hey girl. Food time?” Anne asked as Domino rubbed herself on Anne’s legs. A single long meow came as a reply.
“Domino, I think Marcy likes Sasha and she likes her back. Is that crazy? Maybe I’m imagining things, right?” She continued to say out loud, fully aware Domino neither understood nor cared about the subject.
She walked over to the kitchen with Domino and looked for the cat food they had stored.
“What if I liked Marcy but she liked Sasha? I could never tell her! That’d probably break us apart again. Sasha’s really pretty too though and she’s changed so much already… Oh my frog, what If I like Sasha too? That wouldn’t be too out of the park, right? Have I thought about us kissing before… sure but that doesn’t mean anything...”
Domino looked up at Anne with absolutely no emotion in sight.
“Wait. If I like them… that means I like...”
Anne stopped talking by then and leaned back on the kitchen counter. For a moment she pondered on the idea of actually liking her two best friends. She knew she liked it when Sasha or Marcy would gently brush their hands over hers or when they sat closer than usual, not to mention their laugh. Man did she love their laughs.
“Oh frog I am.” Anne blurted out. “I like girls. Not just that but girls who also happen to be my best friends.”
She slowly sank to the floor and sat there for a few moments before Domino crawled into her lap. There was a lot to think about and just as much to accept.
“What am I supposed to do with this information? I can’t just tell them. If I like both, how would THAT work?! It’s always ‘the guy and the girl.” This is way beyond what I know, Domino.”
Anne grunted into Domino’s fur out of frustration. Maybe she could ignore this for now. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. She stood up from the kitchen floor, brushed herself off with a sigh and finished putting out Domino’s food before preparing to head upstairs again.
“Alright Anne. Nothing has changed, they're just your best friends. Nothing more nothing less.” Anne reassured herself quietly before opening her bedroom door.
Inside, she found Sasha laid down with Marcy as they watched something on her phone. Marcy’s head was on top of Sasha’s arm as they snuggled suspiciously close. As Sasha noticed Anne come in, she motioned to get up but remained down by Marcy’s weight.
‘Anne! Come come. Sasha was showing me the vlogs she made back in Amphibia.” Marcy said once she noticed Anne enter. She extended a hand out and wiggled her fingers in a grabby motion.
There was a clear space for Anne to lay right next to Sasha like Marcy had been doing but instead she remained standing at the edge of the bed and simply leaned down to watch the videos. Sasha was visibly uncomfortable now but Anne thought it was because she had interrupted whatever the two had going on. What she didn’t know was that Sasha felt like she was the one intruding Anne’s space by laying in her bed and resting her head on her pillow. Sasha felt like she didn’t deserve that at all.
“Here I can move-“ Sasha started to say as she tried to wedge her arm from under Marcy.
“No no it’s fine. You can stay there I just don’t want to get comfortable again you know… uhm… have stuff to do today.” Anne insisted as she made up an excuse.
“Are you sure I could still move…”
“Sasha won’t have to move if you just lay down with us and block her in. Come on Anne.” Marcy suggested with a smile.
“I don’t think that’s necessary-“ Sasha tried to say to avoid any conflict but Marcy pulled on Anne’s shirt and she fell right on top of Sasha.
Anne scrambled to get in a better position that didn’t have her face right over Sasha’s. A position where she couldn’t see the green and blue streaks in Sasha’s brown eye. Maybe then it’d be easier to breathe.
“Sorry I think I pulled you down harder than I meant to.” Marcy apologized.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m here now I guess.” Anne reassured her. “You can uh, play the video Sash.”
Anne turned to look at Sasha beside her and realized they were still very close. She saw a tint of pink on Sasha’s cheek again. If she was seeing it correctly, Sasha’s blush only made things more confusing. Anne wasn’t sure if Sasha liked Marcy or her… or maybe she liked them both just as Anne did. The thought of that was comforting but still confusing nonetheless.
The video showed Sasha training the toad soldiers and teaching them funny human slang that made Marcy laugh on Sasha’s other side. She felt Marcy shift as she laughed, she always did naturally move a lot when laughing, but now that she’s pressed against Sasha the movement feels unbearable. If Marcy was still, she could forget that she was even there but there was no ignoring this. Not when her hand hair tickled Sasha’s chin after her head had come to rest on Sasha’s chest. None of this was out of the ordinary considering they were close before Amphibia but this felt extremely different than before. She wanted to hold Marcy in place and kiss her forehead and anything she could reach really, that certainly wasn’t a thought she used to have before Amphibia. At least Sasha knew it was a crush considering the ways she felt for Anne were the same she felt for Marcy now, although she’s not sure if this is new or if she’s always liked her.
“Sash?” Marcy asked as she looked up at her.
“Hm?”
“Is that all the videos?”
“Oh right. Yeah I think that’s it. Sort of got tired of filming.”
“Aw I really liked those.”
With neither of the three having much else to say, Anne presented the next step of their day.
“Should we get breakfast then?” Anne asked as she sat up. “I could make us some scrambled eggs.”
“I thought your mom said no stove.” Sasha mentioned.
“Sure, but as long as we don’t burn the house down it’s fine.”
“Whatever you say. What do you think Marmar?” Sasha asked as she turned over to Marcy.
“Can we eat up here again?...”
“Sorry Marcy, you know my mom said it’s good for you to get out of bed. Even if it’s just to hang out in the living room.” Anne reminded her.
Marcy sighed and sat up, finally releasing Sasha from her weight. Anne began to remove the temporary prosthetic she had been using until her official one was prepared. It usually took much longer for injuries like this to heal enough for prosthetics but Newtopia’s technology had helped speed up much of Anne’s recovery. Even so, there were times where Anne simply couldn’t tolerate the pressure on it anymore and decided it’d be best to just go without the aid.
“May I?” Sasha asked as she extended both arms out to Marcy, insinuating if it was okay to scoop her up and help her downstairs while Anne managed to carry out her wheelchair. She knew that nine times out of ten Marcy would say yes but she made sure to ask every time anyways.
Marcy removed the blankets from over her and nodded which gave Sasha the greenlight to gently lift her into her arms.
“You got it Anne?” Sasha asked as she watched Anne struggle to find a good grip on the wheelchair. Marcy watched intently from Sasha’s arms.
Although it would be great to be able to walk down the stairs on her own, Marcy could at least find some joy in the situation. Being carried by Sasha never got old and she admired how gentle she was. Marcy often noticed when Sasha held her extra close but she’d never mention the unnecessary contact knowing that Sasha would avoid doing it in the future. Anne rarely carried her though, mostly because of the whole missing arm thing but she’s tried before. It was nice with Anne too and she wished they could be like that more often but Marcy would manage.
“Yeah, I’ll get it just- give me a second.”
Once Anne managed to find a proper way to uphold the wheelchair, she allowed Sasha to head out of the room with Marcy first and followed them downstairs. Anne simply couldn’t get a proper grip on Marcy’s wheelchair but did her best to seem in control. She jerked it upwards whenever she felt it would slip out of her hand. All she had to do was get it downstairs and even that seemed hard to do. Suddenly the overwhelming fear and frustration of her injury flooded her mind.
It was a mix between anger, sadness, annoyance and all the other possible emotions one would feel while going through recovery. She hated how unreliable she felt. Before, Anne could have fought off killer bugs with Sprig and now she's struggling to carry a wheelchair down the stairs. She thought she should be healing faster, doing better, getting stronger… but none of that felt true. The anger was directed at herself, the sadness targeted her situation and the annoyance killed her last bit of composure.
“Shouldn’t you help Anne?” Marcy whispered to Sasha.
“Nah I think she’s got it…” Sasha replied as she watched Anne struggle with the second half of the stairs. One more step and she completely lost her grasp which sent Marcy’s wheelchair tumbling down the rest of the stairs. “Or not…”
“Crud! Marcy I’m so sorry- I think it’s okay. I’m sorry.” Anne began to apologized profusely.
Anne knew how hard it was to get a chair that was the right fit for Marcy, and she especially knew how important her aid was. And because of her, all of that may have just become a waste. Every thought in her head began to feel like a bowling ball hitting the corners of her mind and it was unbearable. All she could do now was hope Marcy’s wheelchair was still functional.
“Hey it’s alright, I’m sure it’s fine Anne. Don’t worry about it.” Marcy reassured her, but Anne was already kneeled on the floor looking over every nook and cranny of her wheelchair. Her eyes sought out any scratch while mumbling incoherent apologies.
“Anne, it’s okay…” Marcy repeated. She noticed the panic in Anne’s eyes as soon as she had a good view of them. She understood more than anyone what that meant.
“No no I’m sorry, I think it still works but I’m not sure. I need to make sure, hold on.” Anne’s voice was shaky like it usually got when she cried. Not that any of them had seen her cry in the past two weeks though.
Aside from how distracting her tears were in looking for flaws in Marcy’s wheelchair, she continued looking. That was better than facing her best friends with tears streaming down her face.
“Anne?” Sasha asked this time. She carefully sat down next to Anne on the floor while Marcy rested on her lap.
“I hope it’s fine. I’ll have Jess and Ally come fix it. I think they can fix it-“ Anne said through her crying. She tried to wipe the tears from her face but more came afterwards. “I’m sorry I don’t know why i’m crying, this is stupid…”
Marcy leaned over to place a hand on Anne’s shoulder as she doubled over the wheelchair, covering her face with her arm. Anne wasn’t the type to cry over mistakes like these, she usually tried to fix it before anything else which made Marcy think this wasn’t about the wheelchair at all.
“It’s not stupid Anne, is this about something else?” Marcy asked with a soft voice as her thumb ran circles on Anne’s shoulder.
“I don’t know… ” Anne said as she lifted her head to look at Marcy. Her crying had turned into a sob. “It’s just- really hard sometimes.”
“I know Anne. We know. Come here.”
Marcy lightly tugged at Anne’s shoulder which encouraged her to scooch closer towards them even though she slightly hesitated at first. Sasha looked intently at her eyes for permission to hug her and once she got that confirmation, she wrapped an arm around Anne as Marcy did the same.
“Anne’s crying.” She barely even sounded the words and instead mouthed them over to Marcy who understood her perfectly. This was how they communicated in class for years anyways; it came naturally at this point.
“Uh yeah…”
“What- what do we do?”
“I don’t know… comfort her?”
“But this isn’t helping.” It seemed apparent that Sasha had grown nervous with the sudden emotional break Anne was going through.
“Ok well, have some patience, Sash. She’ll be okay.”
“You know I can feel you guys mouthing stuff over me, right?” Anne said. She had an innocent smile on her face aside from the tears that fell beside it.
“Sorry… “ Sasha whispered sincerely.
When Anne rested her head snuggly on Sasha’s chest, it felt like the rest of her apology got crumbled under stronger gravity. At first she stiffened up, unsure of how to take the gesture or how to respond to being seen as a safe space. Right now Anne felt safe enough with Sasha to seek comfort in her, and after everything the two had been through, Sasha couldn’t really believe it. She trusted Anne though. If it was okay with Anne then Sasha could handle it so she gently put a hand on Anne’s back and supported her in more ways than she was aware of.
“I’m sorry about this.” Anne apologized.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. You know we’re here for you. Just like you’ve been there for us this whole time.” Marcy said in response.
“Yeah and uh, we want to make sure you’re okay and stuff. I don’t know, I think you’re both better at this comfort thing than I am.” Sasha added.
Anne chuckled at Sasha’s statement, but the crying didn’t subside. No matter how hard she tried, the tears wouldn’t quit.
She missed the life they had before where there wasn’t any worry about someone’s wheelchair or Anne’s phantom pain or Sasha’s impaired vision. They’ve grown a lot as individual people and that was great but Anne wished it could have happened under lighter circumstances. One in which she didn’t have to see the people she loves the most struggle every day.
“I know but this is just dumb. We’ve been through so much… I shouldn’t be bothering you guys with this.”
“Bothering us? Anne, the last thing you do is bother us. What’s dumb is you thinking we don’t do this out of love for you” Sasha sounded out the first response that came to mind.
Anne lifted her head to make sure she heard her right and to make sure it was Sasha who had spoken. And neither of those factors were lies. She only started to cry harder but now for different reasons.
“Woah okay, did I- did I say something wrong?”
Anne whispered a no as she put her head back on Sasha’s chest. Sasha wasn’t sure why Anne had started to cry harder when that was the opposite of what she wanted, but not all of this was confusing. There was one thing she knew for certain and that was that Anne wasn’t pushing her away or asking her to leave. It meant she wanted Sasha close as well, not just Marcy.
“Thanks Sash.” Anne managed to say after some time. “Thank you to you both. I’m sorry.”
“Anne, if you say you’re sorry one more time I’ll have Sasha beat you up. And don’t even start to say you’re sorry for saying sorry.” Marcy jokingly threatened.
This seemed to get a laugh out of Anne just enough that she could start to calm down. Tears began to slow and her breathing evened out, with that came the realization of just how close the three were. It felt nice to have her best friends close like this again especially after Marcy had shut them out and Sasha refused to accept any form of comfort. They’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time and Anne just wanted to enjoy that for now. Without much thought, she kisses Sasha’s and Marcy’s cheek out of genuine joy of their presence. It was only later when they looked at her with flared up cheeks that she realized how the gesture could be interpreted.
“Okay well, I think I'm okay now… Should we see if the wheelchair still works?” Anne asked as she wiped away some final tears left over on her face. Anything to avoid addressing what she had just done.
“Uhm ye- yeah that’s a good idea.” Marcy replied.
Sasha stood up with Marcy still in her arms and placed her gently on the wheelchair and it didn’t collapse. Good.
“I think it’s good. You didn’t break it after all. Good job.” Sasha pointed out.
“Oh thank you.” Anne replied sarcastically. “Can you guys help me with breakfast… After all that I don’t know if I really want to cook alone.”
Asking for their help and admitting any form of weakness was a lot for Anne at the moment, especially towards Sasha and Marcy. She wanted to seem okay for them but that was already thrown out the window by now.
“Why don’t I just order something online? Then none of us have to cook.” Sasha offered.
“You have a credit card to order with?” Marcy asked.
“Nope. But my mom does.”
“If she wouldn’t get mad at you then I don’t see why not.” Anne replied. “While you do that, do you want to go outside already Marmar?”
Ever since Marcy had gotten used to aided mobility, she started sitting outside in the backyard for at least thirty minutes every morning. It felt nice to watch as the leaves of the trees swayed with the wind, the birds that flew by to eat the seeds she splayed out on the table for them. Occasionally Marcy would take her new notebook outside, and she’d spend the whole morning drawing the birds that stopped by for breakfast. All the pages she touched ended up covered in bird scribbles. Marcy admired their freedom, the way they moved their wings in ordinance or how they sang the tunes only they would ever understand.
One day an injured western tanager stopped by and she began to draw it like usual. Its wing had been damaged and it was missing several feathers. She hoped it would eat and then fly away only to come back the next day like some birds did… but it never flew away. She had to have Anne and Sasha carefully put it in a shoe box and the three held a small ceremony for the green-yellowish bird before it was buried. Ever since that day Marcy made sure to always say a word or two to the stone they placed in the spot it was buried. As sad as it made her, Marcy now understood the peace that came with final rest. She knew how tired the bird must have been and there was a sense of comfort that came knowing it no longer had to fly with a broken wing. But other days she wondered if it could have healed and flown as high as all the other healthy birds, so she made sure to find out for herself. She’d let the bird know when she had her answer.
“Yeah. I’ll grab the bird seeds.” Marcy replied.
She wheeled herself over to the cabinets that the Boonchuys kept the seeds in and opened the back door. Anne joined her outside while Sasha half mindedly wandered after them as she tried to order themselves some iPop.
“Ugh come on, I literally took a photo of her card! Where is it?!” Sasha grumbled in frustration while Anne helped Marcy transition onto the outside.
“What happened?” Anne asked her.
“They locked me out of the app and it erased my mom’s card from it. Now I can’t find her credit card information even though I KNOW I had it saved in case I forgot.”
“Oh. You know, I could just cook anyways and you could stay here with Marcy… I really wouldn’t mind-“
“No. I’ll figure this out.”
“You already look upset Sasha. Just let me cook, it’ll be easier-“
“I said no, Anne.”
“Excuse me?” Anne asked in shock.
Sasha finally looked up from her phone and saw as Anne’s posture seemed guarded. She felt her own face was scrunched up in annoyance but consciously softened it for Anne. She didn’t mean to get that angry.
“I’m sorry. Of course you can cook but is it alright if I just have a little more time to figure this out? I just want to make sure you don’t cook if I could have just ordered.” Sasha corrected herself. “Again, I’m sorry.”
That seemed to help ease most of the tension that had started to grow between them. Marcy had already gotten herself busy with placing the bird seeds out on the glass table. She knew the Boonchuys had a bird feeder by the tree but Marcy couldn’t reach it and she wouldn’t watch the birds unless she was the one who had placed out the seeds. It had to be done out of her own hands. Plus, the squirrels often stole the seeds there anyway.
“Okay… let me know if you figure it out then.” Anne replied.
Sasha only looked away when Anne did. She watched Anne talk to Marcy as they both moved to the farthest corner of the backyard and decided maybe she should head back inside; let them enjoy each other’s company without Sasha’s frustration getting in the way. Marcy managed to catch her as Sasha had begun walking back inside.
“Hey where are you going?” Marcy called out.
“Uh, inside…”
“Why? You don’t want to stay here with us?”
“Of course I do but-“
“Then come on. Grab a chair.”
There was no arguing with Marcy especially when she looked this cute with Anne’s yellow hoodie on and wide bright eyes that never failed to amaze Sasha. For a while her eyes had lost that sparkle but it was astonishing to see it whenever it did come back even though it was still partnered with the temporary marks the Core’s helmet left. Her eyes were still sunken and tired but they sparkled for her best friends either way. Sasha wasn’t about to put Marcy’s effort to waste, so she grabbed a chair and dragged it next to Marcy’s wheelchair while Anne sat on the other side.
“Oh shoot I forgot my notebook.”
“I’ll get it. Where did you put it?” Anne said as she quickly got up from her own chair.
“I think it’s somewhere in your room. I don’t remember where exactly though.” Marcy replied.
“I’ll figure it out. Be right back.”
Anne headed back inside which left Sasha and Marcy alone in the yard. Sasha had looked back down at her phone again but she still caught that Marcy had watched Anne walk away the entire time. She noticed that not once did Marcy blink and instead a slight smile crooked over on her face. This could be a good time to get some information.
“So… Anne huh?” Sasha asked awkwardly.
“What?” Marcy replied as she snapped out of her previous focus on Anne.
“Do you think she’s cool?”
“Well yeah. It’s Anne. What do you mean- ”
“Would you kiss her if I dared you to?”
“What?!” Marcy’s face was quickly overrun by blush that became hard to hide. Sasha could have ended this here and she still would have gotten enough information but she wanted to see how far she could take this. Plus, it was fun to mess with Marcy; she was fond of how flustered she got.
“It’s an innocent question. Friends kiss each other sometimes. Plus, you didn’t answer my question.”
“Yeah because why would you dare- wait does that mean you’d kiss me?”
Sasha didn’t expect Marcy to turn this around on her and suddenly she regrets ever bringing the topic up.
“W-what I mean. Maybe. I don’t know! Why would you ask ME that?!” Sasha stammered. She could feel the heat in her own cheeks and hated knowing Marcy could possibly notice it.
“You asked me first!” Marcy yelled as the both of them remained flustered. Aside from the yelling, the two were also smiling.
“Yeah and you STILL haven’t answered my question!”
“Yes! I would. Are you satisfied with yourself?” Marcy replied as she caved in. Just because she confessed that she’d kiss Anne if it was a dare, didn’t mean she confessed the crush she’d been keeping secret. “Now answer my question!”
“Okay yeah. Maybe I’d kiss you… if it was a dare.”
“Actually?”
“Yeah…” Sasha’s second response seemed more serious than her first one and Marcy noted the difference.
“Oh. OH.”
“But look it means nothing okay. You know I don’t back down from a dare.”
“Right. It means nothing.” Marcy replied. The small bit of excitement that had built up in her heart had been crushed. She tried not to seem disappointed, but Sasha took notice anyways.
“It’s not that I don’t like you as a friend… because I do. A lot actually.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know. Just wanted to make sure you knew how much I care for you, Marce.”
Sasha slowly crept her hand down and took a hold of Marcy’s. Their hands hung between them as neither made a comment about the gesture, although Sasha seriously hoped Marcy couldn’t tell how sweaty her hands were. She looked over at Marcy, who had fixated her gaze onto the birds across the yard, and admired her for all she was. Sometimes Sasha wondered if she could have been strong enough to go through what Marcy did with Darcy and the wheelchair and well... everything really. She considered Marcy one of the strongest people she’s ever known.
Sasha leaned closer and kissed Marcy on the cheek. It was an innocent kiss that could have meant nothing if that’s what they wanted, but it seemed like it meant a lot to Marcy. She turned to face Sasha and then gazed at their hands before she squeezed them. Not a word though. Her smile was enough.
“Hey! I found your notebook Marmar.” Anne announced as she came back outside.
“Oh thanks! I was worried I lost it.”
Anne handed Marcy her notebook the same moment she caught sight of her best friends holding hands. She looked up at Sasha who immediately noticed she was still holding hands and let go. Marcy looked at Sasha in confusion but then realized the reason for their loss of contact. The two expected some kind of reaction from Anne but she simply sat down and took out her phone.
“Sasha, were you able to order food yet?” Anne asked without looking up from her phone.
“Uh… no I got sidetracked. I’ll try to do it now.”
Both Anne and Sasha were busy on their phones while Marcy began to draw on her notebook. That’s how they would stay for the next thirty minutes until the doorbell rang, indicating their food had arrived. The three headed inside and Sasha grabbed their order from the front door before handing their meals out on the table.
“Thanks Sash.” Marcy said in a playful tone.
“You can thank my mom. It’s her money.” Sasha joked.
“Anne, can you grab me a cup of water please?” Sasha asked as Anne was busy grabbing the silverware.
Anne turned around and gave Sasha a hard look as her one hand was already occupied. Sasha was the most capable of the three; she could get her own water.
“Right. Sorry.”
“Tough one Sash.” Marcy joked behind her.
After everything had been settled and they all sat at the table, an awkward silence fell. Marcy and Sasha were unsure if Anne was going to point out their totally innocent and meaningless hand holding. There wasn’t an answer they agreed on giving yet in case she did ask. Not to mention neither of them were sure what it meant exactly because Marcy never confessed to Sasha and vice versa. It could have been a simple platonic hand hold… or not.
“So… are we doing anything today?” Sasha asked.
“Not that I know of.” Anne replied.
“Oh- Okay.”
Once again they were left in silence. This time though, the only interruption was Marcy’s sudden and excessive coughing.
“Woah dude are you okay?” Anne asked as she stood up.
“Yeah I’m- I’m okay. My chest hurts though,” Marcy struggled to reply. “ I haven’t- I haven’t felt this before.”
“What do we do?”
“Don’t worry about it. I think it’ll- uhm I think it’ll go away-“
Except it wasn’t going away and each breath she took only made it hurt more. Anne and Sasha grew in desperation.
“Marmar, I'm going to call my mom, this isn’t normal.” Anne said as she reached for her phone with a trembling hand.
“Anne, it's fine. I told you it’d go- go away. Look-“ Marcy said. Her voice was thinned out but she managed as many words as she could. She also tried to force out a smile, but it only lasted a second.
“Marcy, if it's really that bad we need Anne’s mom. You’re going to be fine.” Sasha reassured as she walked over to her.
“But I am fine. Don’t- don’t call her. It won’t do anything, I got this okay?”
Sasha looked over at Anne to signal her to call Mrs. Boonchuy without Marcy knowing.
“Anne is just going outside real quick and we’ll get you some water okay?” Sasha said.
“No, I know Anne is calling- calling her mom. If she- if she calls her Sasha- I swear.” Marcy begged as she started to cry. The words were cut up by her hiccups.
“What’s wrong with getting Mrs.Boonchuy’s help, Marcy?”
“I don’t- I don’t need it. I’m fine, remember?”
“Yeah, You’re fine. You’re right. Since you’re okay, why don’t we get some water?”
“Tell Anne to get off the phone first.” Marcy demanded.
Sasha resisted at first but eventually signaled for Anne to hang up. She knew that much like herself, Marcy was stubborn if she wanted to be. Sasha could tell she could hardly breathe and the panic of having Anne call her mom didn’t help, so maybe it’d be better to just do what she says. Anything to get her enough air.
“Okay. There. Anne hung up. Now can we get you some water?”
Marcy nodded and allowed Sasha to hand her a cup of water. She slowly drank some of it as Anne whispered something to Sasha, but she replied with some assertive movements that made Anne back down willingly.
“Can we sit on the couch?” Marcy said with some more clarity now. Not that the pain had subsided, but most of the panic surely did.
“Yeah of course.”
The three headed to the couch while Anne and Sasha gave Marcy space to do things on her own. They knew to not constantly ask if Marcy needed help with the most basic things even though they wanted to. Not because they thought Marcy was incapable of handling herself but because they hated to see her struggle; that was part of it though and they needed to understand that. Only when Marcy struggled to lift herself onto the couch due to the pain in her chest did Anne and Sasha offer support. To which Marcy accepted.
Anne helped her from the couch and allowed Marcy to lean on her while Sasha sat next to her. Marcy was in the middle as her back rested on Anne while Sasha moved her legs to rest on her lap. Anne began to brush through Marcy’s grown out hair with her finger and Sasha massaged her legs, all without being asked from Marcy herself. They seemed to do it almost instinctively and the thought of her best friends loving her this much became overwhelming.
Marcy knew she had messed up by bringing them to amphibia without their consent and that’s something she beat herself up about every day. She just hated the idea of having to live without all of this… without them. As she sat on the couch with them now, a flood of emotions returned and she’s overwhelmed by the reality that her friends chose her. This time they had the choice to leave her but they came back and they stayed. That was all Marcy hoped for; the tears that followed the realization served as proof of her gratitude and relief.
“Marcy, it's okay. Does it still hurt?” Anne asked as she pulled Marcy closer.
“Not as much anymore.”
“So why are you still crying?” Anne asked with a compassionate smile
“I just really missed you guys.”
“We missed you too Marmar.”
Sasha didn’t say much but she leaned over to lay between Marcy and the back of the couch while the two remained leaning over Anne. Not that any of them complained though. As one of Sasha’s hands lightly wiped away Marcy’s tears, she melted to the touch and suddenly the weight of everything came crashing down. Her eyes felt too heavy to keep open and her muscles ached, at least she had Anne and Sasha to help cushion the fall.
“I’m just- I’m just going to close my eyes for a second.” Marcy said in a drowsy tone. She cuddled up to Anne and Sasha before passing out in the matter of seconds, her sniffles remained, however.
“Did she just fall asleep?” Sasha asked.
“Yeah… the whole thing probably tired her out entirely.” Anne replied softly. Her brows were pointed down in concern and compassion.
“What even happened? It was so fast and out of nowhere…”
“I don’t know. She mentioned her chest hurt right?”
“It was probably her scar then. Why would it hurt so suddenly though, nothing hit it or anything.” Sasha pondered.
“I wish I knew. It makes me worried.”
Sasha looked up at Anne and saw how sad she looked. Sure Sasha got sad about their situation as well but she usually pushed it down until there was a proper, more private, time to let it out. Not Anne though, she let most of her feelings out for everyone to see.
“She’ll be okay. Marcy came this far.” Sasha reassured.
Anne smiled to show her gratitude for Sasha’s words. Marcy did come a long way and if she could survive what she did, then she’d overcome this too. Plus, she had Anne and Sasha now, how bad could it be.
“Thank you for helping by the way. I was trying really hard not to freak out back there.” Anne said quietly.
“Hey, it's not a problem. I was freaking out a little too.”
“You? Really? You seemed so put together.”
“I know.”
“Do you always do that?”
“What exactly?” Sasha asked.
“Act calm and collected when it’s all scrambled in your head. Like, keeping up a good front even though it’s not real.”
“I guess. It doesn’t hurt anyone though.”
“It hurts you, no?”
Sasha took a moment to think about what Anne had said. It hit her in a sensitive part she hadn’t touched in a while.
“It does. Not right away but yeah. I guess it does.”
“Then why do you do it? I’m just curious.”
“Uhm, I think it’s because it seems to help people? I'm not sure. I mean, it helped Marcy and you. And sometimes it actually helps me if someone wants to throw me off for something. Makes it harder for them to win. Like a shield of sorts I dunno.”
“Hah, you make it seem like life itself is a war.”
“Is it not? In the grand scheme of things?”
Sasha seemed genuine and it absolutely broke Anne’s heart to hear it. The more she and Sasha talked after they returned, the more she got to see how Sasha viewed the world and how differently it was from her own. They had similar values of course but the way Sasha viewed life was scary, exhausting even. It helped a lot of things make more sense.
“No Sash. It’s not war. Sure there may be some battles but that’s not what life is. Or at least it’s not what it HAS to be. It can be a dance.” Anne said.
“A dance? No offense but I don’t think people leave a dance with this many scars.”
“Shush. Let me finish.” Anne replied playfully. “In a dance, there are steps. Sometimes you get the steps wrong and it may throw the choreography out of rhythm. Some toes may be stepped on and some people may fall… but they can always get up again and find a way back into the flow of the music. You can be a hopeless warrior or you can be a dancer, it just depends how you look at it.”
“You’re so cheesy sometimes. Yuck.” Sasha joked. “Plus, you know I don’t dance.”
“Liar. We used to dance all the time.” Anne reminded her.
“Used to.”
“I may be cheesy but you act like you listen to Radiohead or something.”
“Shut up!” Sasha said as she put a hand up to Anne’s face playfully.
As the two laughed, Marcy lightly shifted and reminded them of her presence. They doubt much could wake her up now, but it would be better to quiet down just in case.
“You know what I mean though. Life doesn’t have to be a war if you don’t want it to be.” Anne whispered.
“I know… I guess war was easier. More familiar.”
Anne understood what Sasha meant. It wasn’t a secret Sasha’s home life wasn’t the best and it clearly had a big impact on her, but Anne is proud of how far she’s come so far. She leaned her head on Sasha’s and contemplated their intricate friendship. Anne thought the more she talked to Sasha the more she’d understand her and maybe it’d make things less complicated but it only grew in complexion.
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for now, Anne?” Sasha asked while she allowed her own head to rest more comfortably under Anne’s. Her tone was light but there was a hint of something more mixed in. Something Anne couldn’t put her finger on.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been sort of cold towards you sometimes…”
“Oh. It’s alright. I think you’ve gone pretty easy on me compared to what I’ve done to you. I probably wouldn’t have forgiven me if I was you... so I’m honestly just glad you’re still talking to me.”
Sasha tried to laugh so their conversation didn’t take a final nosedive into a more serious topic but it didn’t work.
“What you did to me was shitty, but you changed a lot and I can tell you regret most of it… that means you deserve another chance in my eyes. I also think life would be a lot more boring without your annoying butt in it.” Anne said.
“Yeah… My life would suck without you in it too. So I guess, thank you?”
“You’re welcome for blessing you with my presence.” Anne joked. Although she put her hand out in hopes Sasha would take it.
“Oh, dear Anne, what would I be without you.” Sasha joked back as she carried out the act and held Anne’s hand.
Right now anyone who walked in could have assumed the three were dating and that didn’t bother Anne one bit. The idea of being seen as girlfriends felt nice, something she’d want. She tested out calling Sasha and Marcy her girlfriends in her head and it sounded idyllic. So maybe Anne did have a crush on her two best friends… she’d just have to keep this small piece of information deep DEEP down for now. No big deal.
“By the way, you know you can talk to me if you ever want to. Like before.” Anne said. She hoped maybe Sasha would open up about what happened with her and Marcy outside but that’s not something Anne wanted to pry at.
“Thanks. You can too, although I doubt I’ll have words as wise as yours. But I can beat people up for you if you need me to.”
“How sweet, I’ll keep that in mind.”
Aside from how squished the three were, the situation itself was comfortable. Anne missed how well they fit together in more ways than one. Sasha would eventually reach for the remote so her and Anne could watch TV until Marcy woke up. They kept their hands together throughout the entire time, not a word mentioning it but they felt like that was best.
Once Marcy woke up, she noticed they were still laying together which didn’t often happen anymore… they’d usually find a reason to come apart. In fear that they’d get up if they knew she was awake, Marcy kept still and enjoyed their company. Not to mention it was nice knowing that Anne and Sasha were slowly patching things up. She’d been worried they’d go their separate ways after Amphibia, not that she’d blame them, but she’s glad that wasn’t the case. Maybe there was still hope that things would change for the better.