Work Text:
Warm, humid air and bright sunshine greeted Skyfire when the hatch opened. The brilliance made him squint, but he didn’t mind taking a moment to adjust to the light. It gave him an excuse to pause at the top of the ramp and enjoy the sun on his face, and the light caress of a cool breeze that smelled of the sea. Beside him, Starscream took a deep breath, then hummed in apparent satisfaction.
Halfway down the ramp, Skyfire paused again. Glancing back, he whispered, "Why are the humans all staring?"
"Who knows?" Starscream replied as he strolled past. He didn't bother modulating his own voice. "The fact that you're taking up an entire row of parking stalls might have something to do with it."
Skyfire winced. Starscream did have a point. Skyfire's shuttle form took up nearly half the available space, and he noticed that the humans had parked their own vehicles as far away as possible, as though they feared he might crush them.
"I hope that's all it is," he muttered, following Starscream. "But what if we got something wrong?"
"Such as?" Starscream spun in a circle, showing off his new avatar. "It's not as if we didn't do our homework."
He'd opted for a female holoform with spiky black hair, dark skin, and a scarlet two-piece bathing suit. An oversized towel was draped over his shoulders like a cape, and he was carrying a colorful plastic pail with a matching shovel, which he had insisted on as mandatory equipment for human beach excursions.
Skyfire's own holoform was male with short, wavy blond hair, and pale skin. For clothing, he’d chosen a pair of fluorescent pink, yellow and orange shorts, and the look was completed by a pink beach bag printed with a cartoon seahorse. Starscream had assured him this was exactly what human males wore to beaches, and Skyfire’s own research seemed to confirm that in at least general terms. But glancing around at some of the nearby human specimens, he couldn’t help feeling like the details were… off.
Deciding it was too late to change his mind, he stepped onto the tarmac. The heat was shocking. It felt far more intense in this form than it would have normally, and Skyfire was instantly grateful for his crocs. His research had pointed to these as the sturdiest, most comfortable choice for a beach trip, and his sources had definitely been right.
Starscream, too, had prepared himself with appropriate footwear. His shoes were red platform sandals with high, chunky heels. They showed off his sparkly blue toenail polish and his silver ankle bracelet, which was adorned with a tiny F-15 fighter jet charm.
"Which way to the beach?" Starscream asked, shading his eyes.
Skyfire looked around. The parking lot was surrounded by a thick forest of palm trees, making it hard to tell. But then he spotted a family consisting of two adult females and several juveniles. The group was walking purposefully toward one end of the parking lot, carrying an assortment of coolers, umbrellas, and inflatable toys.
"The humans seem to be going this way," he observed, falling in step behind them. Sure enough, as they reached the edge of the trees they discovered an arrow-shaped sign with a picture of a wave on it, pointing toward a path that led through the palms.
The shade of the trees was just as shockingly cool as the tarmac had been hot, and almost chilly when combined with the breeze. Skyfire felt a twinge of envy when Starscream pulled his towel-cape around himself, but if the heat of the parking lot had been any indicator, he suspected he’d be grateful for the lack of extra layers once they reached the beach.
Ahead of them, the juvenile humans were chattering excitedly and bumping their inflatable toys together. Other family groups emerged from adjoining pathways. Each was equipped with similar beach attire, and water-related items ranging from snorkels to surfboards.
"This is clearly an important cultural pastime for human reproductive units," Skyfire observed in a low voice. "I wonder if we should have brought some juveniles with us, the better to blend in?"
Starscream snorted. "And where would we get those? We can't exactly borrow Rumble and Frenzy."
"Hm, no," Skyfire agreed. "And neither is particularly discreet. I'm sure they'd stand out."
"Undoubtedly. And besides, there are humans here who don't appear to have reproduced."
They emerged from the trees and into a paved plaza situated on a terrace overlooking the beach. Skyfire heard the gentle roar of waves before he caught his first glimpse of the tourist planet's ocean; at least his first glimpse in avatar form. He was instantly struck by the beauty of the mint-green water stretching away to the horizon. The cloudless sky was a pale brownish yellow and dotted with seabirds that called to one another as they circled and dived. If he squinted, shading his eyes against the solar glare, Skyfire could make out the outline of one of the massive satellites that kept the atmosphere breathable for humans and other organics.
When he finally turned his attention to the plaza itself, Skyfire could see that Starscream was right about the reproductive units. There were, in fact, quite a few humans who appeared unattached. A large group of these were involved in what seemed to be a ritualistic dance which involved gyrating to music while draping oneself in flowers and other greenery. Others were sampling the wares of various shops and eateries located around the edges of the plaza. To Skyfire’s relief, there was also a sizable contingent of pair-bonded humans who didn’t seem to have offspring.
"Oh look, a trine." Starscream pointed a long, blue-tipped finger at a trio of humans who did appear to be involved in a group bond. "I suppose it makes sense," he added loudly, "considering the biological limitations inherent in a species with heteronormative genitalia. It must liven things up in the berthroom if you have a bit of variety."
Several nearby humans dropped their conversations and turned to gape at them.
Skyfire nudged Starscream's arm. "They're, ah… staring again."
"I can't see why." Starscream flicked his towel-cape over his shoulder in annoyance. "We look perfectly normal! Just a pair of average fleshy beach-goers."
"Physically, yes," Skyfire said appeasingly. "But we should probably talk as if we consider ourselves to be human."
"Ah. I suppose you're right." Starscream raised his voice. "A species such as ours, is what I meant to say!" He paused, observing the puzzled reactions of nearby humans, and turned to Skyfire with a satisfied nod. "Now stop worrying, and let's go mingle with our fellow humans."
Starscream looped an arm through Skyfire's and tugged him into the crowd.
"Okay… let’s." Skyfire tried to ignore the stares that continued to follow them. The truth was, he couldn't discern any difference between their appearance and that of the actual humans. The plaza was packed with humans of every shape, size and color, including a few who were an unusual bright red. He couldn't identify a single feature that would cause them to stand out.
"By the way," he said, lowering his voice, "there's something I've been meaning to ask."
"Oh? And what's that?"
"I was wondering if that was the reason you chose a female form? Because of the, ah… heteronormative limitations?"
Starscream tilted an eyebrow, his lips curving in a sensual half-smile. "What makes you ask, dear Skyfire? Could it be that you find this fleshy shell attractive?" Voice sinking to a purr, he added, "Do you think we should give these bodies a test-drive later?"
Skyfire felt himself flush. It wasn't that he found humans attractive; far from it. But he was fascinated by the way he could still recognize Starscream, even in this form. It was something about the way he carried himself: head high, chest thrust forward, shoulders back. You could almost sense his wings, even though they weren't currently present, and his gait, which fell somewhere between a military march and a catwalk strut, was pure Starscream. And purely hypnotic. And not just to Skyfire. The people around them were staring. Especially the males.
"I think we should be careful," Skyfire said, tugging Starscream closer. "I think we're attracting the wrong kind of attention."
Starscream smirked. "And what kind would that be?"
Skyfire cleared his throat. "I think your avatar might be too attractive."
"Mine? I think you've failed to notice how many of these humans are staring at you."
"They… are?"
"This pair, for example." Starscream bared his teeth at a couple who were glancing them over with interest. "Back off," he suggested sweetly. "Unless you'd both like a taste of my null-ray!"
The two humans backed away as requested, exchanging puzzled glances. Skyfire was glad that he'd managed to talk Starscream out of providing his avatar with fangs. It hadn't been easy, and the F-15 ankle bracelet with matching earrings had been part of the compromise.
"But actually, no," Starscream continued. "I chose this body out of a simple preference for a form that most closely matches my real one. Which I'm sure you did as well. And I must say it's growing on me. For a human, you're really quite easy to look at." He raked an appreciative glance up the length of Skyfire's body, from crocs to crown. "Nice shoulders, in particular."
Skyfire glanced from side to side, trying to get a look at his own shoulders. "Thanks," he said, as mystified as he was pleased. "I'm glad you like them."
Stares continued to follow them as they strolled across the plaza, but now Skyfire found he didn't mind quite as much. Not if it was due to their attractiveness - or perhaps to their stylish fashion choices. The latter possibility seemed likely when they passed a stall selling colorful lengths of fabric. An older female waved them over, holding up a cloth with a red-and-silver floral pattern.
"This is absolutely perfect for you," she exclaimed, closing in on Starscream. "You must try it on!"
Starscream balked. "What is it?" he demanded, eying the fabric with frank suspicion.
The woman just laughed and threw it around his waist. "There," she said, fastening it with a deft flick of her wrists. "Stunning! Don't you agree?" This last question, directed at Skyfire, was laced with a steely note that suggested agreement would be for the best.
Luckily, Skyfire did agree. He knew little about Earth fashion, apart from what he'd researched for their avatars, but the shimmering fabric draped beautifully from Starscream's hips, hugging his slim, muscular frame to perfection. It seemed almost to have been made for him.
"It's perfect," Skyfire said, surprised by the choked sound of his own voice.
"It is?" Starscream frowned, plucking at the fabric doubtfully, then shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'll take it."
"Ah, young love," the woman sighed, her lined features softening in a motherly smile. "Hold on, let me get you something." She disappeared into her stall. Moments later, she re-emerged with a scarlet flower. "May I?" she asked, approaching Starscream.
"Umm…" Starscream shot a confused glance at Skyfire, who was equally baffled.
"Don't worry," the woman soothed. "It doesn't have any thorns." She tucked the flower behind Starscream's ear and clasped her hands, beaming in obvious delight. "My dear, you look just lovely!"
"Thanks," Starscream replied, still looking bewildered. He poked at the flower, then pulled it from behind his ear, stared at it for a moment, and took a bite.
The woman's mouth fell open.
"Um, Star…" Skyfire reached for the flower. He'd noticed several nearby humans stopping to stare at them, and guessed that the flower was not meant to be eaten.
Starscream, whose features were puckered in an expression of disgust, seemed to have reached a similar conclusion. "This is… fake!" he spluttered, spitting out petals. "Humans eat this stuff?"
"Ah, thank you!" Skyfire said to the woman, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile as he hustled Starscream away. "We've taken up more than enough of your time. We'll just be on our—"
"Not so fast!" The woman moved with astonishing speed to block their retreat. "The flower was free, but the sarong is sixteen galactic credits." She held out a hand, palm up. "I accept all major forms of payment."
"Payment?" Skyfire shrugged one strap of his beach bag from his shoulder and fumbled inside, but he already knew he wouldn’t find what he needed. Currency was a factor he hadn't considered. "Um…" he glanced at Starscream. "Maybe I could just run back to my bod- Ah, the ship, and—"
With an exaggerated sigh, Starscream plucked a small rectangular card from the bra portion of his bathing suit. "I believe humans wave these at each other as a form of currency."
The woman grabbed it from him. "That'll work."
After paying for the sarong, Starscream and Skyfire slipped back into the crowd. "I don't think we're very good at this," Skyfire confessed in a low voice. "Even though we're both reasonably familiar with this species, blending in is harder than it looks."
"Oh, please! We're doing fine. None of them suspect a thing!"
"Well…" Skyfire thought about it. "I don't imagine any of them suspect that we're giant alien robots," he allowed, "but I'm not sure I'd call our test run an unqualified success, either."
"There have been a few hiccups." Starscream waved his plastic pail dismissively. "Your lack of currency being one of them. But it's a flaw we can easily correct. And besides, we haven't even made it to the beach yet! Our maiden voyage is far from over."
"True." Skyfire paused, casting a glance at one of the eateries. "Perhaps we should try some actual human food before we do, though."
Starscream wrinkled his nose, staring at a hot dog cart in obvious revulsion. "This is what humans call food? I think the fake flower was more appetizing!"
"I'm not so sure." Skyfire stepped closer to the cart and sniffed the air. "My holoform is responding favorably to the smell. I wonder if it can also taste?"
"I can think of much better ways to find out," Starscream retorted. "Why don't you sample a little sand from the beach? It would serve the purpose, and probably taste better than whatever those are." He waved toward the hot dogs.
The vendor scowled. "Hey, I've got veggie dogs too, if you're one of those people. No need to be rude about it."
Starscream frowned. "What do you mean, dogs? These are dogs?"
A nearby child gasped in horror and began to wail. As his parents hurriedly soothed him, Skyfire caught hold of Starscream's arm and guided him toward the beach.
"Let's leave the food experiments for another day," he suggested. "I think it's time we checked out the beach."
"That's a good idea," Starscream muttered, giving the crying child a wide berth. "I'm sure it will smell better."
They walked to the edge of the terrace, where a series of steps, intercut by zig-zagging ramps, led down to a sweeping expanse of sand. As they descended, the noise from the plaza fell away. A balmy breeze rose to greet them, carrying the scent of the ocean, and Skyfire had to admit that Starscream was right about the smell.
"We made it," he said as he stepped onto sand for the first time—or at least for the first time in his current form. The fine, warm particles sifted through the holes in his crocs to tickle his toes, and he smiled at the odd sensation.
"You sound surprised," Starscream replied with an affronted sniff. "Did you think someone was going to try and stop us?"
"Not at all," Skyfire lied. "But you have to admit this is a victory. At least by certain standards."
"By any standard! We have completely fooled the humans. We are indistinguishable from any ordinary member of their unremarkable species."
"I suppose." Skyfire cast an apologetic glance at a group of older juveniles who lay sprawled on a blanket nearby. They didn’t appear offended, however. Instead, the young humans had covered their mouths like they were trying not to laugh. Skyfire flinched and quickly averted his gaze. "Why don’t you show me what you've researched about human beach activities?" he asked under his breath.
"Why, certainly!" Starscream set off across the sandy expanse, balancing effortlessly on his platform heels. "Human beach activities fall into a number of categories. Sports, such as volleyball," he gestured toward a group of laughing humans who were bumping a colorful ball back and forth over a net, "—surfing," he pointed to human balancing on a board, "—and waterskiing." Here, he indicated a human being pulled along behind a powerboat. "But we're not going to do any of those."
"We're not?" Skyfire had left it to Starscream to plan this part of the mission, while he had focused on human customs such as clothing. That alone had proved to be an enormous topic, even with Starscream pointing him in the right direction.
"No, we’re not," Starscream replied. "For our first attempt, we’re going to focus on classic human beach activities."
"And what might those be?" They were at the water's edge now. The incoming waves washed over Skyfire's toes and left lacy trails of foam on the shore.
Starscream marched purposefully ahead, shading his eyes. He seemed to be looking for something. "Here!" he proclaimed, whipping his towel-cape from his shoulders. He spread it on the wet sand and stepped back, dusting his palms together in triumph.
Skyfire stared at the towel. "I don't understand."
"Look around!" Starscream gestured broadly. "Humans are sitting on towels all over this beach!"
That much was true, though Skyfire noted that none of them were quite this close to the water. "They seem to be favoring dry sand for this activity."
"Nonsense!" Starscream shot back. "I can't possibly build sand fortifications with dry sand. Don't be ridiculous."
"Sand fortifications?"
By way of an explanation, Starscream dropped to his knees and began scooping wet sand into his pail. He upended the pail on the ground and lifted it carefully away, leaving behind a small, flat-topped cone of mushy wet sand. "Just you watch. I'm going to have the best sand-fortress on this entire beach!"
Skyfire glanced at his shoulder bag, which he already knew did not contain a pail. "I won't be able to help you," he said. "I didn't think to bring a pail."
"Then you can look for desiccated sea-creature husks," Starscream replied. "Another classic human beach activity."
"Oh?" Skyfire's expression must have given away his relief, because Starscream's narrow features softened in a look of pure fondness.
"Go on," he said, his tone an affectionate growl. "I was saving that activity just for you."
Skyfire's features stretched in unfamiliar ways, and he knew he was grinning. The warmth that had gathered behind his breastbone was unmistakable, too. "Thanks," he murmured, and heard that odd, choked sound entering his voice once again.
Starscream waved him off. "Get to work!" he ordered, positioning another cone of wet sand next to the first. Skyfire started to walk, then hesitated, watching as Starscream began refilling the pail. He really did seem to know what he was doing. He also seemed completely at ease in his new body. His movements were fluid and graceful, and the red sarong tied around his hips swirled alluringly in the wind. Starscream was beautiful, in any form.
"You're never going to fool the humans if you just stand there gawking at me.” Starscream's voice floated toward him, carried on the breeze.
Skyfire laughed. "Later, then." Turning, he headed off down the shoreline, keeping an eye out for desiccated husks. He passed a few groups of humans who were sitting on towels and building sand fortifications, just as Starscream was. They were also using the same colorful plastic tools. Did they have a ritual significance? Filing the question away for later research, he refocused on his task.
There wasn't much to find. At least, not at first, though he did discover a few shells here and there. Some were Earth varieties, such as scallops, clams, and sea-snails, while others were unfamiliar. Skyfire gathered a few specimens, but in truth, he was more interested in the living creatures, and the traces they left behind. A thin trail in the sand where a sea cucumber had buried itself; a crab sunning itself among the rocks; a colorful world of nudibranches, minnows, and starfish gathered in a tide pool.
"Watch out, son," a voice called from behind. "You're getting pretty close to the barrier."
Barrier? Skyfire tore his gaze from the ground and realized he was on the verge of walking into a set of emergency pylons with bright yellow tape stretched between them. Glancing back, he saw the human who'd spoken to him. He was an older male dressed in baggy shorts and a turquoise shirt printed with large, sunglass-wearing pineapples.
"What's the barrier for?" Skyfire asked.
The man, he noticed, had a machine with him. It was a long metal rod with a flat disc at the end. Skyfire had never seen anything quite like it before, and he wondered what its purpose was.
"See for yourself," the man replied. "Bunch of purple jellies just washed ashore."
Turning back toward the barrier, Skyfire quickly saw what he meant. Several large, purple blobs lay dotted along the shoreline. Their tendrils twitched weakly as they tried to drag themselves back toward the water. Clusters of humans were gathered along the fence, their fearful gazes fixed on the stranded creatures. Several were speaking agitatedly with a woman in a ranger's uniform.
"It's these damn speed-boats," the man said. "They make these giant waves, and then all kinds of critters get tossed up on the beach. I've been saying for years we should ban them, but do people listen to me? Oh, noooo."
"What are they going to do?" Skyfire asked. "The jellyfish will die if someone doesn't get them back into the water."
The man nodded. "I think that's probably the plan. Not much else they can do, given how deadly those jellies are."
"Just leave them there to die? But they haven't hurt anyone, have they?" Skyfire must have looked as horrified as he felt, because the man looked chagrined.
"It's a shame, I'll grant you that," he said, scratching behind one ear, "but one touch of those tendrils and you're basically—"
Skyfire had stopped listening. He ducked under the tape barrier and dashed for the nearest jellyfish. He was distantly aware of voices shouting, telling him to stop. Ignoring them, he bent to scoop up the creature's central body-mass. He lifted it with both hands, taking care not to tread on the trailing mass of tentacles, and carried the jellyfish into the water.
When he went back for another one, the woman in the ranger's uniform was running toward him. "Sir!" she cried. "You can't touch them, they're deadly!"
Skyfire picked up a second jelly. "Don't worry about me," he said, calmly carrying it toward the water. He could feel a faint burning in his hands, but it wasn't painful. Holoforms weren’t susceptible to injury in the same way that actual human bodies would be, so he was confident that he could rescue the jellyfish without any problems.
What he hadn't counted on was the small human who ducked under the tape barrier and came rushing toward him. Skyfire wasn’t good at estimating the ages of humans, but he guessed she was perhaps ten or eleven. "I want to help!" she cried. "I'm going to be a marine biologist one day, and I'm going to save all the sea creatures."
"No!" Skyfire and the ranger shouted in unison, moving to block the girl's path. At the last moment, Skyfire remembered that his hands were probably covered in venom. He stepped back, letting the ranger intercept the girl, and was intercepted, in turn, by a pair of humans who could only be the girl's parents. They both looked furious.
"Who do you think you are?" the taller parent shouted. "Can't you read? Which part of 'Danger - Keep Out' didn't you understand?"
"I'm immune," Skyfire explained, holding up his slightly reddened palms.
"You are?" The ranger glanced at him in surprise. "That… isn't possible."
"It is for me," Skyfire said with a shrug. It was the only explanation he was able to offer. "I'd like to rescue the other jellyfish if that's okay."
"Excuse me?" This was the shorter of the two parents. "You almost got my girl killed! You should be under arrest." Turning to the ranger, they demanded, "Aren't you going to arrest him?"
"I can't arrest people," the ranger replied with a pacifying smile. "The girl's parents are right, though. You shouldn't have ducked the safety barrier. But, since you have, you might as well return the rest of the jellyfish to the ocean."
With a nod of thanks, Skyfire hurried to rescue the other jellies. When he'd released the last of them, he rinsed his hands in the cool ocean water to deactivate the venom. The redness and discomfort ebbed quickly, leaving his hands much as they'd been before. As he jogged back to the barrier, the man in the pineapple shirt greeted him with a wide, gap-toothed smile.
"They should hire you as a ranger!" he said. "Though maybe you should wear gloves next time. Just so folks don't get the wrong idea."
Skyfire grimaced. "That's… a good idea," he admitted, glancing in the direction of the girl and her parents. The trio seemed to have calmed down, though the girl wore a defiant expression that made him think they'd been arguing. "In the future, I'll add a thick pair of gloves to my beach equipment bag."
He would have liked to speak with the girl, if only to offer encouragement for her dream of becoming a scientist, but he suspected her parents would not be welcoming. Skyfire couldn't really blame them.
"But speaking of equipment," he said, turning back to the man, "what is that device that you're carrying?"
"Oh, this?" The man glanced at the machine with obvious pride. "This is none other than the Gold Rush 3000-X." Skyfire must have appeared none the wiser, because the man added, with a chuckle, "It's a metal detector, son."
"Really? It detects metal?"
"Sure does! Check this out." The man waved the device near one of the metal pylons. It beeped, and the attached readout screen lit up with a detailed chemical description of the types of metals present. "Of course, most of that info is basically Greek to me," the man said, tapping the screen with a rueful smile. "All I need to know is that I've found something. Once I dig it up, I'll see what it is for myself."
As he turned from the barrier, he swung the device toward Skyfire. It beeped. The man's bushy eyebrows rose in surprise.
"You too, huh?"
Skyfire took a step back. "Me too, what?" he asked, eying the device nervously. Had it detected him? If holoforms could be picked up by metal-scanning devices, he and Starscream would have to find out how common such devices were in a given environment and take precautions to avoid them.
"Oh, I've got a plate in my leg," the man said with a rueful smile. "Surfing injury. Worth it, though. What's your story?"
"I, uh…" as Skyfire racked his mind for a suitable response, he was almost grateful to hear a loud, familiar voice echoing along the beach. He couldn't make out the words from this distance, but the outraged tone was unmistakable. Excusing himself with a muttered apology, he dashed back along the beach to where he'd last seen Starscream.
He arrived to find Starscream standing hip-deep in the water. The upper half of his body, including his hair, was thickly crusted with sand, though he seemed unaware of this fact. He stood with his hands clenched and his teeth bared, a blatant Seeker threat-display that was evidently lost on its intended target: a young, heavily muscled man in a black sleeveless shirt, who was looming over Starscream in an equally unsuccessful attempt at intimidation.
"You crazy bitch!" the man snarled. "What the hell did you do to my boat?"
The boat in question was floating behind him in the water, its belly pointing skyward.
"Don't you worry," Starscream hissed. "I can easily do the same thing to you!"
Flickers of pink energy curled menacingly around Starscream's fists as he spoke. Skyfire hastily stepped between him and his intended quarry, afraid that Starscream might carry through with his threat. He wasn't sure what a null-ray blast would do to a human body, but he doubted it would be good.
"What happened?" Skyfire asked.
"I'll tell you what happened!" the man exploded. "She blew up my boat!"
"Who cares about your boat? You destroyed my sand fortification!" Starscream gestured toward a mushy pile of collapsing wet sand which seemed to be all that remained of his masterpiece. "This lumbering oaf slopped water all over my Decepticon base, and just look at it!"
"Your Decepta-what? Listen, chick. If you're still makin' sandcastles at your age, that's hardly my—"
"I am not a chick!" Starscream shrieked. "I'm a fully-fledged, adult Seek—"
"Star." Skyfire gave Starscream a warning glance, and he instantly fell silent. "She blew up your boat?" Skyfire asked, turning to the man. "Are you sure about that?"
"Well, yeah!" The man gestured toward the upended vessel. "What does it look like to you?"
"It looks like it capsized," Skyfire replied honestly. "How would she flip your boat over?"
"How should I know? She's a witch! She did some weird thing with her hands and pink fire came out, and—"
"You mean, these hands?" Starscream asked sweetly. He held them up, wriggling his now decidedly fireless fingers. "These are the hands that flipped over your boat?"
He was comically tiny compared to the man, who was looking less sure of himself by the moment.
"I guess… uh…" The man glanced back at the boat. "Maybe I… hit a rock or a… current. Or something." His cheeks had reddened and he stepped back, seeming to shrink a little.
"I'll help you flip it back over," Skyfire offered, "but then you need to leave." He made sure his tone left no room for argument. To Starscream, he added, "Are you all right?"
"Of course I'm all right!" Starscream drew himself to his full height, straightening his shoulders. "I had the situation well in hand before you showed up."
Skyfire couldn't help a smile. "Of course you did."
After sending the boat-man on his way, Skyfire sloshed back to shore to find Starscream talking to the man in the pineapple shirt. They were examining the ruins of Starscream's sand fortification.
"Damn speed-boats," the man was saying as Skyfire loped up to them. "They just ruin everything, don't they? Matter of fact," he nodded to Skyfire, "your friend here was just down the beach rescuing some jellyfish that got washed ashore by the big waves."
Starscream cocked an eyebrow. "Rescuing jellyfish, you say?"
"Yeah! It was amazing. Not sure I want to know how your friend figured out he's immune to purple jelly venom—"
"Oh, he was touching them, was he?" Starscream interrupted. He folded his arms, giving Skyfire a 'we'll talk about this later' look.
"He sure was," the man said, missing the subtext entirely. "Didn't even hesitate. It's the bravest, most selfless act I've ever seen."
"I can only imagine," Starscream answered dryly. His gaze slid back to his ruined creation. Even waterlogged, Skyfire could tell that it had been a marvel of engineering. And that it had been fronted by a giant Decepticon insignia.
He gave Starscream an incredulous look, and got a shrug and smirk in response. It looked like they were both going to have to discuss a few things later. But first things first. Turning to their new friend, he asked, "Is there somewhere we can get cleaned up?"
"Sure!" Pointing with his metal detector, the man directed them back toward the plaza. "You'll find the changing rooms over on the west side. Just follow the signs and you can't miss 'em."
It turned out you could miss them, unless you happened to understand human pictograms. Skyfire did not see how the image of two cutout human figures standing side by side, one in a skirt and one not, was meant to represent 'changing rooms.'
"Maybe we really should just change," he suggested wearily after they'd trudged around the plaza a few times, with Starscream's disheveled appearance attracting yet more stares. "I mean, go back to the… uh, ship—"
"No, look!" Starscream pointed to a building tucked between the trees at the edge of the plaza. "There's a door with one of those cutout humans on it."
He was right. The door did have one of the cutout symbols: the one without the skirt.
"The signs we saw earlier had both symbols," Skyfire said uneasily. Was there significance to the fact that this door only had one? "Maybe we should ask someone."
"Or," Starscream countered, "we could go in there and see for ourselves!" He plucked the plastic card from his bra and shoved it at Skyfire. “Here, hold this.”
Skyfire briefly fumbled the now-wet card, but managed to slip it safely into his beach bag. As he hurried to follow Starscream, he spotted a second building that had the other symbol on the door. The one with the skirt. He recalled their earlier conversation about human genitalia and something clicked in his mind. "Starscream, wait! I think we should—"
He was too late. Starscream flung the door open and marched inside, already peeling off his swimsuit bra. Skyfire charged in after him, and was greeted by a frozen tableau of naked and semi-naked human males. All were gaping in open-mouthed shock as Starscream strolled past them, his bra slung casually over one shoulder.
"These must be the human washracks," Starscream remarked, heading for an adjoining room with a row of taps sticking out of the tile wall. An older man, naked apart from a pair of lime green flip-flops, was standing beneath one of the taps with his eyes closed, scrubbing himself down with a loofah.
"Excuse me," Starscream said, tapping the man's shoulder. "How do you activate the water?"
The man opened one eye. He smiled at Starscream, reached over to turn on one of the taps, and went back to his own shower as if nothing had happened.
"Thank you." Starscream gave Skyfire a look, as if to say 'see?' and stepped beneath the spray. Steam swirled around him and rivulets of water spilled down his chest, exposing trails of bare skin amid the crusted layer of sand. The filthy sarong plastered itself to his lower body, revealing the long, sleek lines of his thighs. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back, and Skyfire found that his avatar body was responding in… unexpected ways.
"Whoa," a voice said beside him. "Is that your girlfriend?" The speaker was a young adult male, wearing nothing but a goatee and a necklace with a heart-shaped charm striped in pale blue, pink, and white.
Skyfire swallowed thickly. "He's my… uh…" Damn. "I meant she. She's my…" he trailed off again, trying to decide what human word would provide the closest approximation. There was something about the situation that made him want to stake a claim. To clarify their relationship in case any of the men here got the wrong idea.
"Hey, no worries," the young man said with a smile. "I get it. But just in case you didn't know, there's a nonbinary changing room now. If you wanted to wash up together, it might be a more comfortable space than the men's room. Want me to show you where it is?"
* * *
"I think we learned a lot today," Skyfire said as he rinsed the last traces of conditioner from Starscream's hair. "Mostly, that there's more to being human than meets the eye."
Starscream chuckled, leaning back against him. "That's what you've learned? Nothing about not petting toxic jellyfish?"
They were sitting on a varnished wooden bench inside a semi-private shower stall in the nonbinary washracks. Starscream was perched sideways on the bench with his knees drawn up, his head pillowed comfortably on Skyfire's shoulder.
"I wasn't petting them," Skyfire said as he re-capped the conditioner bottle. "I'll admit I might have reacted without considering the full implications of what I was doing—"
"You think?" Starscream snorted. "You really have a terrible habit of picking up dangerous life-forms. Humans being no exception."
Skyfire sighed. Starscream had managed to get the whole story out of him while they washed up. He glanced up to see if anyone was listening before replying, "I'm not the one who flipped a speed-boat."
"Details," Starscream replied with a dismissive wave. "At least now we know what their little icons mean."
"And that flowers aren't edible," Skyfire added.
"And that humans like money, so you should probably carry some."
Starscream stretched languidly, relaxing in the warm spray. "You know, there is one human activity we haven't tried," he murmured, his voice a throaty purr.
"Food?" Skyfire asked. He thought about the hot dog stand, but the idea of re-entering the plaza with its swarms of humans seemed overwhelming. "Maybe we could do that next time."
"Or skip it," Starscream replied. "Human food looks disgusting. And anyway, that isn't what I had in mind."
Skyfire slid a glance over his mate's sleek, wet form. Starscream had shed the remainder of his clothing while they washed up, though Skyfire, for his part, was very glad he'd opted to keep his shorts on. Their shower stall had no door, and his avatar body was continuing to register a highly favorable response to the lithe, naked frame draped against his.
"Well, we can't do that here," he said, fervently hoping they were talking about the same activity.
"No, of course not. Sunbathing is an outdoor activity."
Skyfire sighed. "Star, I don't think I have the—"
He was going to say 'energy,' but a pair of soft lips closed over his before he had a chance. Within moments, all capacity for speech had abandoned him, and he had plenty of energy. Just not for being around humans.
Skyfire wound his arms around Starscream and pulled him into his lap, not caring if Starscream could feel the very obvious effect their proximity was having on him. Kissing Starscream in this form was… different. He tasted different, and the texture of his mouth was different too.
But it was also the same. Starscream was just as bold and sweet and fierce, and it was just as impossible not to get lost in him. When they finally came up for air—which did seem to be a necessity in these forms—Skyfire knew he was done for.
"Ship?" he suggested. There was no way he was going to be able to walk to the beach. Not like this.
Starscream shook his head. Nipping Skyfire's lower lip, he whispered, "Grab your beach bag. I've got a better idea."
Skyfire had just enough presence of mind to do as Starscream had suggested, grabbing his pink shoulder bag from a nearby hook as their surroundings faded out. They rematerialized standing on a stretch of warm, pristine sand at the edge of a mint-green lagoon.
"See what I mean?" Starscream murmured. "Not a human in sight."
He was right. The lagoon was surrounded by a lush forest of palms. The ocean-scented air was devoid of any sounds of human activity. There was only the wind, the cry of a distant gull, and the warbling of songbirds. And it was easy to see why. The water was dotted with purple jellyfish, their tentacles waving gently in the current.
"Where are we?" Skyfire asked. "And how did you know about this place?"
"I did some extra research." Starscream had rematerialized with his hair back in its original state and his towel-cape once again covering his shoulders, though he'd left everything else conspicuously bare. "Humans aren't allowed on this side of the island because of the jellyfish."
"Doesn't that mean we're not allowed either?" Skyfire asked.
Starscream smirked. "I won't tell if you don't." He slipped the towel off and spread it on the sand. It seemed larger than it had before. Large enough, in fact, to accommodate both of them. Starscream stretched out on it and patted the empty spot next to him. "Now, why don’t you get those wet clothes off and give sunbathing a try?"
Skyfire hesitated, but if there really were no humans here, then there was also no reason to be concerned about modesty. He undressed quickly, not missing the way Starscream’s eyes followed his every movement, then sank onto the towel. It was fluffy and warm, and delightfully soft against his human skin.
He started to lie down, but then Starscream sat up and leaned over his legs, digging into the abandoned shoulder bag. Skyfire flushed, but Starscream seemed completely focused on his task.
“The payment card is there,” Skyfire said, unsure what else Starscream could be looking for.
Starscream held up the card with two fingers, then casually flicked it back into the bag and kept digging. After a few moments, he sat up again, a small bottle held triumphantly aloft.
“Sunscreen,” he announced. “Humans rub it on each other while sunbathing.”
“I see,” Skyfire said. “So it’s some sort of human polish?”
“More or less.” Starscream slung a leg over Skyfire’s thighs. “I believe it helps to darken their skin and make them more attractive to potential mates. Of course, some of us don’t need it.”
He placed a hand on Skyfire’s knee and leaned back, showing off his dark-skinned human form with a sultry smirk. It might have been a joke, but Skyfire’s gaze wandered anyway, from Starscream’s face to the soft curves of his chest, then lower to his taut belly and the sleek thighs that framed Skyfire’s hips. It was all so unfamiliar, and so unmistakably Starscream.
A quiet snap shook Skyfire from his reverie, and the scent of coconut filled the air. When he looked up, he saw that Starscream had opened the sunscreen cap with his thumb. Still smirking, Starscream sat forward and squeezed a generous dollop of white lotion into his palm.
“We've spent all this time trying to blend in with humans,” he said, smearing the entire palmful down the center of Skyfire’s chest. “I think it's time we did some exploring on our own. Don't you?”
His hand traveled lower as he spoke, leaving a cold white streak of lotion on Skyfire’s stomach. Skyfire shivered, but relaxed fully onto the towel and raised his hands to Starscream’s hips, stroking the soft skin with his thumbs. Starscream arched slightly, shoulders rolling back, and Skyfire could almost see the wings he currently lacked fanning in pleasure.
Skyfire smiled. “I think you’re right,” he said softly. “Pass the sunscreen, would you?”