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V wakes up screaming.
It's dark around her, she panics. That must mean she's still there, in the fucking Delamain. Jackie looks at her, blood all over his suit, trying to say his last words. Neons outside occasionally illuminate his face with an eerie light.
"Delamain, just take us to a fucking doc!" she yells.
A voice answers her. It's Delamain, she thinks it's him, but he sounds so far away, as everything else does. "As I told you, I'm afraid I can't do that, since the destination-"
"I DON'T CARE! Fucking do it!"
Jackie whispers her name. His head tilts. Blood starts flooding out of his nose, dark red blood, appearing at the corners of his mouth, filling his eyes.
"JACKIE! NO- PLEASE NO!"
"It appears the vital signs of Mr. Welles-"
"DON'T LEAVE ME! NO NO NO-"
"V!" Another voice. This one's way, way closer.
She's trying to catch her breath, but her heart is racing so fast, and she's covered in sweat. She tries to concentrate on where she is sitting, on her surroundings.
"V, what the hell is happening to you ?"
Johnny is standing over her, surprised or curious or shocked, she doesn't know and doesn't care.
"Leave me alone."
"I don't think-"
"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
Johnny freezes for a moment, before disappearing. She puts her hand down to her side and focuses on the sensation. The fabric of the sheet is soft and cold. She brushes it with her fingers, taking long, deep breaths.
V is home. In her apartment, on her bed, the stores are closed. She’s safe, there is no danger, but Jackie's face won't leave her mind. She takes her head in her hands and brings her knees close to her chest. She counts to four, takes a breath, counts to four, exhales. Repeats.
When she can finally close her mouth without fearing of passing out, she lays on the mattress again. The heist was months ago. It was over.
Over
. She still misses Jackie, but why did she have to be reminded about the terrible night just now ? And why did it feel so much worse ? V brings a hand to her face and touches wet skin. Tears cover her cheeks, snot drips from her nose, and saliva runs down her chin. She'll wash it later. She turns to the side and tries to fall back asleep.
It's a chain reaction , V understands too late.
She understands it when she's in Viktor’s clinic, waiting for him to end a call in the alley. V looks around, to the computers, the weird instruments, the patient’s chair and the weird little trinkets Viktor keeps on his desk.
But then her eyes fall on the spot where he used to stand, leaning against the wall, while waiting for her to be fixed by Viktor. Smiling Jackie, cracking jokes and flirting with Misty. And everything starts.
Pale Jackie in the car, reaching for her. The light slowly leaves his eyes.
Her knees begin to shake.
Evelyn Parker, passed out, naked, covered in blood, wires everywhere, in a dark basement.
She hits the ground.
Evelyn laying in the bathtub, blood again, Judy crying.
All of it is hitting her.
The screams of Takemura and the red light and the people shooting, the confusion and the fear.
All of it is eating her.
Randy and the teenage boys all lined up, tubes coming out of their bodies, corpses and mines all around the Edgewood Farm, the bloody cartoon.
She starts crying uncontrollably. She feels nauseous.
Herself naked, surrounded by scavengers, dead bodies on tables, blood again, when does it stop ?
She holds her stomach. She leans forward, until her forehead hits the cold ground.
Some Tyger Claw collapsed on the floor. Half his face is missing, parts of his brain escape his smashed skull. Her gun did that.
She clenches her fists and her nails dig in her shirt and her skin.
The corpses of Aldecados, fire and smoke, Scorpio's lifeless eyes.
Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP.
Dexter DeShawn pointing a gun at her. He shoots.
She covers her ears.
Cyberpsychos screaming in pain, their metal arms butchering flesh.
Joshua Stephenson being crucified, nails piercing his hands.
The disfigured monk, kidnapped by the Maelstroms.
T-Bug's screams echoing in her head.
It just keeps coming, and V starts suffocating. She's scratching the skin of her belly and tries to talk, but she doesn't even know if her open mouth lets out a sound. She just sees blood and dead bodies, fear overwhelms her, screams and cries fill her ears.
It's a chain reaction. It starts little, and then the rest follows. Months and years of horror suddenly waking up.
Someone kneels next to her. They really are, not just in her head, which means for once it's not Johnny. Does that mean it’s Adam Smasher, or an Arasaka mercenary, or some bounty hunter, here to finish her off ?
"V?"
It's a low and careful voice.
"V, move your head if I can touch you."
It's Viktor.
She moves her head.
Hands slowly reach hers and gently open them, stopping her from leaving more scratches on her stomach. Viktor's arm wraps around her shoulders and pulls her close. She's still shaking. He puts a hand behind her head and lets her rest her face in the crook of his neck.
"You just breathe. Only think about the air filling your lungs."
She counts to four, takes a breath, counts to four, exhales. Repeats.
Her open mouth had indeed let out a sound. She was screaming the entire time.