Chapter Text
Carefully you step around the piles of bones strewn about the small living space as quietly as you can. No matter how many impromptu guests may be littering your life, you still have work.
A very non-whispering voice calls your name.
You hurry the rest of the way to the kitchen, wondering why you were so worried about being cautious when you know they all have the loudest roommates. After all, one of them has been your own roommate for months now. They have to sleep like -the dead- logs.
"Morning Solace." You greet the tall, be-horned and be-tailed skeleton. Luckily he's a little too cartoony to be creepy, the horns running along his skull and a tail too happy anytime he's given any type of attention. The dough bits clinging to his finger bones don’t help his case.
Like a big dog. You resist the urge to pat his head as he takes a seat.
Bustling as much as they possibly can in your barely-big-enough-for-the-4-people-who-actually-live-here kitchen is Quartz, conducting Blue and Papyrus around as Solace's tail wags while he sniffs the air.
You linger in the doorway, staying as out of the way as much as possible.
"Yes, now while you thoroughly mix the taco powder with the meat, Papyrus, lay the tortilla then place the spaghetti centre and pass to Blue."
Ah, well, at least it’s not plain buttered breakfast spaghetti again.
After handing the platter off to Blue, Papyrus swoops over to you, “Ah, _____, good morning!” As he nudges you deeper into the kitchen, waving his tongs, “You will be eating before work of course!”
Ah, Papyrus, softly coercing you into healthy habits like waking up early enough to have breakfast.
Blue eagerly thrusts a plate into your hands
“It’s an amazing creation that could only come to life with our abilities combined!” His eyes flash into stars, spinning in his eye sockets.
You prop yourself up to sit on what little counter space there is, Quartz already half done washing the prep dishes, so you don’t feel too bad for taking it.
“Only through my decisive leadership could we have made spaghetti-taco-burritos, I believe you’ll find them suitable,” Quartz states with a proud smile as he dries his hands.
You assume it's the same leadership skills that finally stopped the squabbling last night about which food was better. If he’d managed to get his cool sooner, maybe you all would have had dinner last night to, though you're pretty sure you saw Sans bringing everyone some Grillby’s after you'd already given up and headed for bed.
The spaghetti-taco-burrito combo is new but doesn’t sound that bad? Maybe? So as the last of them take a seat at the table you take your first bite. Dang, Spencer Shay was on the right track.
“Okay, you guys might actually be geniuses.”
A chorus of satisfied sighs fill the room, along with Solace’s tail clattering against the chair, and Quartz ‘of course’ scoff.
“So, what is it you do for work?” Blue adds more taco powder to his plate, a dray garnish.
“And when will you be back?” Hid usually smaller eye lights than the rest dilating as Solace asks.
Papyrus answers for you, “don’t worry new friends who are also me and my brother. We will be able to have dinner prepped and ready by the time they return home.”
And as conversation picks up, you can barely hear from Solace “And We Will Get More Praise About How Great We Are!”
A perk of having been roommates with Papyrus for a while means he knows your schedule, and that you may not be the most talkative this early. Being on good terms with him helps even more, but you’re not sure anyone could be on bad terms with him. Papyrus simply wouldn’t let them.
Your cozy breakfast is stopped dead in its tracks by Sans. Well 'yours' as in for you specifically, the rest don’t seem to notice yet, probably cause he’s dead silent and staring you down with empty sockets. Again. Welp, he should know the name of the game by now, you pull the most ridiculous face you can, staring right back. Are your eyes crossed? Is your nose scrunched? Which way is your mouth pulled? How involved are your individual eyelids? It’s different every time but the bone man has yet to crack, still you are determined to fend off his judgmental seriousness (which only seemed to happen with you) with your own goofy ridiculousness.
The fact he hasn’t slipped this morning is a testament to his... distaste for you. With his doubled exhaustion from last nights work, the man’s had to trade out his usual condiments for actual coffee.
Papyrus is the first to notice your odd face, head quickly turning between you and Sans, somehow silently turning the whole chair with him without visibly make any effort to. “UGH, YOU ARE BOTH IMPOSSIBLE.” He slides the rest of his plate, food and all, under his arm like a newspaper. food dripping to the floor, he leaves the room as the rest watch on with mild confusion.
“Hey kid—”
You don't let him finish, “kid? Oh gosh, someone should tell my boss. Think I could sue for child labour?”
“Love, good morning! Are you holding them up from work again?” And of course in comes Ariel, chirping and startling you both as she nuzzles the side of his skull.
“'Course not Ari, we were just having one of our face off’s, classic us.”
You learned pretty quick that he didn’t call you kid out of habit, or any kind of friendliness in his soul. He called you kid because he thought the way you “copied” his girlfriend all the time was childish. The girlfriend who would go out of her way to dress similarly to you, but with a higher budget. The same girlfriend who, if she finds out you have any hobby, suddenly has the same hobby but of course, with professional quality material or classes. Some days you really think you’re gonna burn her room down. With how their 3 year anniversary went yesterday, it might have been the kinder gift for everyone.
This morning, the same as every morning, you and Ariel both check out the others clothing. Her, so she can change as soon as possible to match you, and you to remind yourself later you’re not crazy about her seemingly obsessing over you, or more, obsessing over being you.
You finish your last bites of food, washing it down with a drink while the rest are stuck in some form of stilled awkwardness you refuse to participate in. You can’t help but stare at San’s mug from your advantage. You know, you can feel, something moving in your brain, you just need it to click.
A red glob bobs to the surface.
Condiments.
If these guys all got a thing for yelling and cooking, they probably have a thing for drinking condiments. With no idea if light corn syrup counts as any kind of condiment, it's not a risk you’re willing to take. You twist around on the counter to grab a few of your bottles and shove them in your bag as inconspicuously as you can. Luckily, the two you want seeing this the least are too busy distracting themselves cooing to each other.
Next thing you know you’re out the door and off to work, wondering how long it’ll be before San’s can send them all back to their own worlds.
If it’s soon, you don’t have much to worry about, a couple pairs of clothes, extra food, whatever.
Long term, that’s gonna take a bit more, does Sans have any idea how long its gonna take? Not like he’d tell you, maybe you could ask Ariel, but then you’d just get an endless slew of little annoying digs and remarks from her, plus you don’t actually like talking to her. This is his fault anyways, plus him and papyrus are the loaded ones so they can take care of these new guys right, how are the newbies gonna feel about it, how expensive are their tastes, are you gonna have to eat spaghetti taco burritos every day, every other day, how often do they plan to cook, he brought 3 pairs of dudes through in one go, could it—
You’re wave of thoughts crash as you almost trip through the doorway to work.
Well, time to pretend you can focus on anything for more than two seconds today.
“Well if we must all stay near this device then we need—get your elbow out of my face!” Quartz shoves Drone away from him and Drone manages to catch himself on the near by wall.
“Sorry pinkie, barely saw you there.”
Blue strikes his long learned scolding pose, hands on hips, “Papyrus, this is serious. Who will help the dog guards when they lose their treat bones in the snow? Or make sure the kids in Snowdin don't get into too much trouble?”
“Don’t worry, I'm sure they'll manage, just not as well.”
Solace lifts a claw tentatively, “Could You Please Not Use My Brother As An Arm Rest? Perhaps?”
Looking around a little lost, Flo jumps when he realizes it’s his arm resting on Nodd. He raises it in the air, no where else for it to go. “Nah, don’t worry about it Sole, it’s better than no blanket.”
Papyrus tries to reach over the couch, “There actually is a blanket on the back of the couch, _____ insisted on it. Well several actually but we settled on the least lumpy one for the living room.”
As the gang continues chattering, Sans is taken off to the side.
“Love, I missed you last night, did you really need to work all night?” Ariel pouts, arms draped across him.
“Sorry Ari, but I gotta get these guys back home, they can't stay here.”
They’re proof of his failure, of all his hard work resulting in the harm of other's lives.
Sans pats her hands on him and nuzzles her jaw before turning back towards the shed.
“Love, where are you going now?” Her tone is sharp and terse.
“Ari, really, I need to get back to work, can’t send these guys back unless I do.”
“But what about me? I missed you all yesterday on our anniversary, shouldn’t we do something?”
“I promise, as soon as I get this fixed, we can do what ever you want.”
“I want you to come with me now.”
“I’ll be with you soon.”
Ariel huffs, “well, I’ll just come to the shed with you.”
“What, no, Ari, we've talked about this, you can’t be near the machine as I work on it, we don’t know what could happen, you agreed.”
“You weren’t spending all you’re time in there before, you only worked when I was gone.”
“This is important Ari, please. Of course I’m spending all the time I can with you, you’re amazing, but right now I have less time, just please be patient.”
“Fine, okay, I’ll see you later.”
Reluctantly, Ariel lets him go, leaving to their shared room to change.
It’s a small space but it’s all they bothered to get in this area. This was only ever supposed to be a transitional home till they found the perfect house for all three of them. Plus their little stow away. For now. The search had been ongoing for several months. Papyrus loved every house they were shown, and Sans barley cared as long as there was enough space for them and their things. It was Ariel who could never accept a home. Every house they looked at wasn’t enough. Not enough yard, not enough porch, space, height, colour, anything a house could lack it always did. So when three new pairs of brothers suddenly dropped in, they were still stuck in this tiny temporary home and stuck with Ariel’s old school friend.
They’re not a real problem, but damn, it’s annoying. Not only does he have to share a living space with someone he barely knows, he’s sure he doesn’t want to know them.
Every time Ariel is interested in anything, they have to be interested in it to. It’s so childish, they don’t even pick up the hobbies well, always some cheap rip off of whatever Ariel's doing. It’s always depressing to see Ariel lose interest in her latest hobby and he knows it has something to do with them. Anytime he brings it up Ariel just smiles and waves him off, she’s truly too sweet.
As he sets to work on the machine the shed door clatters open.
“Ariel, seriously you can’t—”
“Aw, does she want to be part of your world?”
In the doorway stands Drone, Flo, and Nodd.
Nodd shortcuts himself on top of the machine, “so, this is how we got here right? It would probably go a lot quicker with more heads.”
"Seems a little cramped for all of us though,” glancing around the shed, Flo pokes at a tube with questionable liquid in it.
Drone rubs the back of his neck, “meh, we can work in shifts, two at a time.”
“Great, then call me when its my turn,” Nodd is pops away, presumably curling back up with the throw blanket on the couch.
Sans rubs a hand on his face. He's seems about to say something before he's cut off with a yawn. He glances at his mug, the machine, and the eerily familiar but different faces in front of him.
“All right, sure.”
Soon only Flo and Sans are left in the shed, working the day away.
You come home to see the ganging decked out in Sans and Papyrus's spare clothes for the evening. Nodd and Solace claiming the most worn in pieces. Someone must have cut out holes for their tails. Quartz has commandeered the highest quality of whatever there was for him and his brother, Flo at least sports the soft pale green pyjama pants Papyrus was gifted on one of his mascot tours that he uses only for the finest of sleepovers with Frisk and Undyne.
Guess they didn't go shopping.
"You guys look cozy," you settle in the living room with Nodd and Flo, Nodd more than the others, already bundled on the couch, stubbier tail than his brothers only noticeable by the light whapping beneath one of your favourite throw blankets. You think Nodd purrs. He doesn't take up much space, for sure the smallest Sans. He leaves enough room for you to sink into the other side of the couch, carefully dodging Flo’s grease-streaked leg dangling in the centre while he lounges across the back. Even if this couch is more of a love seat, at least it's pretty plush.
Apparently just a bit more plush than the Baby Fun Mop, are they REALLY watching infomercials? A baby is being pushed around on a stick in a brightly coloured, replaceable mop outfit.
You must have been making a face, leaving you open to the oncoming barrage.
Nodd taps you with his foot, bare and longer than you'd expect, each toe tipped with dull claws, including an extra one on the back, "no reason to mop-e about it, it's just a commercial."
"All this for mopping? that's not even the chore that sucks the most." Flo leads you on.
"Oh yeah, which one does?"
"Vacuuming"
......damn it.
The joke gets to you and your work-tired brain, you smile.
There's now a mother with a cliche wide and cheek torturing smile showing how to suit up the baby and you're brain spits out, "house dirty? Bam, baby. Chemicals plus bleach plus baby? No problem, make super baby. Now floor is clean and baby is powerful. Done? Mop up what is left of the baby with baby's mop onesie. No baby, no mess. All problems solved with Baby Fun Mop."
Flo is staring at you with one quirked brow ridge.
"What was that?" Nodd also seems a bit thrown.
They're both shooting you odd looks with their bewildered, small chuckles.
You have no excuse.
You mumble out an incoherent mess, trying and failing to throw together a defence.
That was nonsense but so was everything before it, so it tracks.
Drone laughs from the door, apparently catching your little monologue, "Nyeh heh heh, jeez, you gotta clean up your act before you take that to the stage."
"Oh God, I'm surrounded by people who are actually funny, no one will fall for my tricks now."
Nodd pats your arm with his bare skeletal foot, "aw don't be so hard on yourself, now you can learn from the masters."
You nod dramatically, like someone just told you you still have a family after you found your house burned to the ground.
You get distracted hearing some solid sniffing action.
Solace is sniffing up a storm, getting closer and closer to your bag. Watching the man in action is fascinating enough to keep you from thinking to stop or question him grabbing it. When he's shoving his hand in it you wonder if someone slipped some weed on you, or perhaps explosive powder?
Only for him to pull out your bottles of corn syrup.
"No! I Thought You Were Better Than This!"
And suddenly you can hear the scrabbling of everyone from the kitchen is falling over themselves through the doorway. Everyone from the living room looking at you with glee, the others with betrayal.
"Didn't realize we shared so much in common," Flo nudges you with his leg, rubbing a black smudge on your arm in the process.
"And to think, we've been living together all these months and I never knew!" Papyrus dramatically exclaims, pyjamas rustling as if he were a betrayed maiden on a cliff side.
What are they--
Oh.
"Wow, no, wait, no, I can explain!" you sputter, trying to come to your own defence.
"One of us, one of us, one of us," a giggling Drone is quietly chanting.
Quartz is clutching his scarf, "And to think, you fooled me into believing you had some level of taste."
"I swear, it's not what you think, I Do Not drink corn syrup! Light or otherwise!"
Blue rushes over to you, lightly holding your wrists, "Don't worry, you can get through this. We'll support you!"
Nodd shifts, laying a whole leg on your lap, "We can't let you do that, bros."
"Seriously, guys, it's for a hobby, it's an ingredient!"
With those who just perked up a little it's easy to tell who has a sweet tooth here, after all, there’s only so many things you can make with corn syrup.
Drone, Flo, Solace, possibly Blue? He's fidgeting and refuses to look directly at you or the bottle, though he seems to be struggling not to look as well. Gonna have to test that one.
"What for?"
You jump, startled at Ariel's appearance. "You're here?" When did she even get here?
"I am now, so what’s the syrup for?"
If you tell everyone what it's for now, she's gonna do it as soon as you're not looking and completely take it over, criticizing any attempt you make. She does it every time. It wouldn't matter if she did it better than you, but she always talks down to you about it after. Acting as if you have no idea what you're talking about and aren't qualified to even try. It's exhausting and takes all the fun and joy out of it when you actually have to live with her and her constant presence.
No way, no WAY is she gonna get the satisfaction of butting you out of your own thing this time.
"It's a surprise. I'm gonna make something for everybody, and then you can all see for yourselves that I don't guzzle corn syrup in the alley way behind work.”
"....That was pretty specific for someone pleading innocent." Drone is not helping your case. Not him or his bouncing eyebrow ridge.
"Nyeh heh heh."
In her own little corner, no eyes on her, Ariel huffs with her arms crossed. Her Sans is still not done for the night, and he never took a break, always having the others trade out with each other. They don't even have partners, yet they call it a night and relax with each other. But here she is, waiting for her boyfriend. Last week he'd been with her, all attention on her, even telling his brother to go do something else so she could talk about her day, the day they had spent together because he wasn't focused on some dumb mistake that shouldn't even be their problem! It's not like it affected them at all, she and him were both fine, whatever happened to these guys was none of their business so WHY wasn't he HERE with HER?
Just these randoms who look a bit like him and Papyrus.
How long are they gonna be here? How long are they gonna be hanging out with her blueprint? Anything they can do, she can do better, so why even talk to the prototype of personalities?
As all the teasing is settling down, Papyrus bounces in excitement. He hurriedly gets everyone to sit down as he introduces them to one of his favourite Mettaton series.
Drone drifts away from the group, heading outside.
Ariel trails after.