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Sanji is different from his brothers. They are reminded of that every day. When Sanji lacks behind in endurance, strength, and intelligence, they are reminded of how weak he is. When Sanji gets caught in the kitchen feeding mice once again, they are reminded of how emotional he is. When Sanji begs their father for help when the brothers are especially cruel, they are reminded of how naive he is.
All three boys know that they are better than Sanji in every way. Their father designed them to be perfect.
And yet, when Sanji spends time with their bed-ridden mother and they see her smile and laugh, hear her call Sanji an angel, they are reminded that it’s Sanji who gets their mother’s attention most. It’s Sanji , that she loves to see when he visits. Out of all of them, it’s weak, emotional, naive Sanji who is their mother’s favorite.
The boys know that their mother isn’t happy with their advances. She doesn’t smile when she hears about their accomplishments in training, she even scolds them for acting out when they try to prove their superiority.
Monsters , is what their father praises them with. Inhuman , is what their mother sees, and she scolds them for it.
It’s their first time experiencing rejection this way, and none of the boys know how to deal with that, not when they are born to be strong, to be flawless. They are not like Sanji.
They have everything they could ask for. They have power, they have money, they have comfort. And still, it’s Sanji who has their mother’s love.
Jealousy is something foreign to them and yet, Sanji pays for it when his brothers get more vicious in their beatings thinking about how Sanji is the angel and they are the monsters.
Sanji cries when their mother dies. His brothers don’t. They have long stopped visiting their mother before her death. There is no need, the connection to her was severed long before.
So when Sanji finds a letter from their mother and tries to show it to his brothers, there is only mild interest. Niji takes the letter and reads the first few words.
‘To my angels…’
Angrily Niji tears the letter in half in front of his shocked younger brother.
“What are you doing?!” Sanji is trying to take the letter back, but Niji lifts it high so he can’t reach.
“Are you trying to mock us?!” He kicks the blond and makes him drop to the floor in pain. He tears the paper again, and again, then he throws the scraps at Sanji, kicking him once more for good measure.
There is no chance for Sanji to explain. Once again, he falls victim to his brother’s vicious attacks. How dare he try to taunt them with a letter that is so clearly addressed to Reiju and him, always more loved by their mother than the three boys. It doesn’t make Sanji better than them.
—--
It’s after their ordeal at Whole Cake Island when some strange almost sentimental mood hits them and leads them towards Sanji’s old room. They’ve been feeling strange ever since Sanji appeared at the wedding to save them. It bugs the hell out of all three of them, and it doesn’t settle down even after repaying their debt.
Something’s changed and they are aware of it, even when they don’t like it.
It’s then when they find the letter stuck between a couple of old books. The paper scraps have been taped together again, connecting their mother’s beautiful ornate letters, starting with those three familiar words.
“To my angels,
Reiju, my little girl. I know it’s not easy on you to have four younger brothers to look out for, but I know your compassion and how much you love each of them. You have a big heart, more than you give yourself credit for, and I know you will find your way. Spread your wings, my butterfly. I know you will reach high.
Ichiji, my fierce warrior. I know your father expects a lot from you. I wish he gave you a little more time to explore yourself before putting so much responsibility on your shoulders, but I also know how strong you are, both in body and mind. I have no doubt that you will be a great leader someday, able to navigate your brothers on even the toughest paths. You are the one guiding your younger siblings, and they look up to you, even when you might not realize it yet.
Niji, my smart boy. You have a streak for mischief in a way that makes me think you will be the most cunning out of your brothers. You will be able to use your wits to your advantage and I know that this way there is nothing you won’t be able to achieve when you set your mind on it. What I would give to listen to you tell stories of what you have learned. Tell them to your brothers for me.
Sanji, my sunshine. When I see you smile, I recognize the warmth inside your heart and the love you give out to whoever is willing to receive it. I see a strength inside you that fuels your dreams and your conviction, a strength that will help you overcome any obstacle along your way. Please, treasure the kindness in your heart and never forget who you are.
Yonji, my curious green bean. I’m sure if your father would have allowed you, you would look at the world with so much more wonderment, just like Sanji. And still, a part of it runs in your veins, the feeling of longing to see just how far the sea stretches, and you deserve to explore anything the world has to offer. Keep these images in your mind and let them remind you that there is no limit to experiences.
I know all of you are going to be great, and even though I won’t deny that I wished I could have granted you the childhood you deserved, I want you to know that I will love all of you with my whole heart, no matter what.”
When they are done reading, Ichiji crumples the paper in his hands when he curls them into fists. No words spoken between them, all of them dealing with these strange, unwelcome sensations.
Yonji wants to scream, and instead, he punches through the wall of the bedroom. How dare his mother compare him to Sanji ! Only that he has seen what Sanji is capable of now. As much as he doesn’t like to admit it, his brother is no one to be looked down on anymore.
Niji grinds his teeth, his eyes behind his sunglasses stinging in a way that isn’t familiar at all. Confusion and anger sit heavy in his stomach, and even though the last reaction is one he recognizes, he’s never experienced it directed at himself.
The oldest of the brothers throws the paper in the corner of the room with more force than necessary, the contrast to his usual collected self too evident for him to bear, and still, he can’t help but… feel his composure cracking.
Feelings. Emotions. It’s not what they are supposed to experience. They are not supposed to be tainted by these things. It’s hard to grasp them when they were never supposed to know about them. Never supposed to think about it.
Angels , is what their mother called them, and maybe, just maybe they start to regret wishing for that in the first place because the truth couldn’t be further away.