Chapter Text
Nyx’s dark cloak of night was broken by a flash of silver. The soft glow of the moon’s light caught the edges of Thanatos’ sword as it swung down. A strand of hair was severed from a man lying in bed, his cheeks wane and hollow from sickness. The mortal breathed his last breath, the sound akin to a sigh of relief.
Invisible to mortals' eyes, but a common sight for Death, the strand of hair morphed into a translucent butterfly. The soul fluttered around in the air, his wings as delicate as the life he once lived. A shimmering trail of dust followed his flight, each speck containing his memories.
In tenderness, the butterfly landed on a grieving woman’s shoulder and stayed there. Though she couldn’t see or feel him, he opened and closed his wings as if in comfort. She must be his wife, Thanatos thought, a silent audience to the pair of soulmates now separated by Death. They’d meet each other soon enough. Old with grey hair, the woman at most only had a few years left to live. Once her time was up, he’d come for her too, and she could spend the rest of eternity with her husband in the Underworld. But… Thanatos watched as the woman placed the lifeless hand of her husband upon her cheek, looking for even the last trace of his warmth.
You left, without even so much as a goodbye.
I left when I felt it was necessary, Than. I thought of you and hope you’d understand. I have to do this.
Thanatos unconsciously clenched his fist as an echo of a memory flashed through his mind. Understanding was different from accepting. Until that moment, he never knew how difficult it was to accept goodbyes, how bitterness clogged up your throat when a loved one left before you were ready. For a god that was known as the final parting, it was ironic he didn’t know how to let go. Who was he to admonish a widow in the midst of mourning when he could scarcely bear the thought of losing Zagreus?
Rare was it for Death to understand human emotions, but as he watched the woman hold onto her husband’s hand, unaware of his spirit on her shoulder, he felt a pinprick of sympathy. He turned away, allowing the mortal and newly made shade a moment of privacy. Death was inescapable, but he was patient. There was no harm in letting them say their goodbyes except for a reprimand or two from Lord Hades for being lax in his duties. The corners of Thanatos’ mouth lifted. He wondered if his concern for mortals and subsequent disregard for Lord Hades’ punishment was because of his lover’s influence.
“Than.” Thanatos’ head jerked, feeling Zagreus’ summon through Mort. Such a coincidence. It was as if the godling knew his mind had been filled with endless thoughts of him. After centuries of stunted growth, Zagreus came into his godhood at last, having found the direction and purpose he needed in Life. As Zagreus grew more comfortable in his divinity, the more he could sense someone’s worship of him or when his name was on their lips in prayer. It didn’t surprise Thanatos then, if Zagreus knew the direction of his wayward thoughts.
As the Incarnation of Death, Thanatos was the most devout believer in the God of Life’s temple.
“It’s time,” Thanatos said to the soul butterfly, “We must go now.”
Thanatos didn’t rush the newly made soul. He held out his hand with patience as infinite as Chaos’ domain, and allowed the butterfly to come to him of its own accord. Graceful and frail, the butterfly landed in the middle of Than’s gauntlet. The eye of the gauntlet flashed, and the old man’s soul disappeared inside for safekeeping.
A bell tolled and a green light flashed. Within one heartbeat to the next, Thanatos shifted to where his prince waited for him. To his surprise, what greeted his senses wasn’t the familiar musk of Tartarus with its stagnant scent of dirt and despair, nor was he in Asphodel with sulfur and heat permeating the air. Instead, cool ocean air played with his fringes, and the scent of honey-sweet apples tickled his nose. He was in an unfamiliar garden, so lush and green, and filled with life, his skin tingled from the sensation. Insects buzzed somewhere near the flowers; a nearby river gurgled, answered by the sound of carps breaking through the water’s surface. Every vine and tree in the garden was heavy with ripened fruit. But what caught his attention wasn’t the fruit and vegetables, nor was it the birds and the bees. It was the endless sea of poppies filling the garden. Vibrant, blood-red poppies lined the fences, climbed the archways, and carpeted the ground. Everywhere he turned, the color red filled his vision.
“Do you like it?” Thanatos lifted his head and saw Zagreus step from behind a pillar. “I thought a garden full of poppies suited you more than just a vase of it back at home.”
“You made this for me, Zag?”
“I wish I could take all the credit, but I had to ask my mother for help.” Zagreus offered Thanatos a sheepish smile. “I may be the God of Life, but I guess I’m better at breaking things than I am at making them grow.”
Thanatos floated closer to the ground, and a lone poppy happily beared his weight. Its stem stood straight and tall as Thanatos’ toes gracefully tickled its petals. Being his symbol, poppies were one of the few things he could touch without them wilting. Zagreus being the other. “It’s beautiful,” he said, looking down at the garden of flowers made just for him. Unconsciously, his toes curled around a poppy. “But I don’t understand what’s this for?”
“Must there be a reason?” Zagreus teased, “Can’t I do it simply because I adore you?’
“Zagreus…”
Zagreus held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, you got me. There's a reason I did all this. A very good reason." He reached into his chiton and took out a pair of earrings gracefully displayed on a palm-sized pillow. Gold wires in the shape of butterflies and vines wrapped around ruby-red crystals. Wisps of power emanated from the stones, so minuscule it was almost unnoticeable. But how could Thanatos not notice when he was sensitive to anything regarding Zagreus?
“Bloodstones? You made earrings out of your bloodstones?” Thanatos floated closer as if drawn to the earrings. Curiously, gently, he pressed a finger against a crystal and a tendril of power wrapped around him like an eager puppy welcoming his owner home. Thanatos smiled, admiring how the bloodstones kept the essence of Zagreus’ personality with them. “Thank you, I’ll cherish them. But don’t you think this is a bit excessive?” He waved an arm and gestured towards the fences and pillars drowning in poppies. “All for a gift? You could’ve given me the earrings back at home. No need to put in so much effort.”
“Oh, you have no idea the lengths I went to in order to give you these earrings. First, it was Charon. Had to duel him in Erebus and prove myself. Then it was Hypnos. He wanted an autograph from the Bull of Minos. That in and of itself wasn’t hard, but Theseus had to make it difficult for me. Then lastly, I asked Mother Nyx for permission. She suggested I show my sincerity, so I planted these poppies for you.”
Thanatos was taken aback. “You fought Charon and went on a quest to give me earrings? Why?”
“Because,” Zagreus brought Thanatos’ fingers to his lips. A delicate touch, gentle and soft like the fluttering of butterfly wings, but where Zagreus kissed, Thanatos felt his skin burn. “I’m proposing. Marry me, Thanatos.”
Thanatos reflexively jerked back, but Zagreus held firm. His eyes, usually filled with mirth and mischief, were serious for once. He wasn’t jesting. “Zagreus,” Thanatos’ mouth ran dry; his tongue suddenly felt useless. For countless eons, he imagined spending eternity with Zagreus. As children, he thought he’d stay by Zagreus’ side as a friend, but more recently, he tentatively dared to explore the idea of them being lovers. But never in his long, immortal life did he imagine marriage. “Do you know what you’re doing? Marriage among gods is different from mortals. It’s a binding contract that lasts forever. If you ever regret your choice, I-”
“Than.” Zagreus interrupted him, unable to bear listening anymore. “You were the one that taught me love,” he said, gently pulling Thanatos’ hand and leading him into his arms so he could murmur into his ear. “Love is sending someone away, because you would rather hurt than hurt them. Love is fighting beside them, bleeding along with them, and putting their well-being above your own. Love is trembling at their touch so much that you do not notice that they are trembling at yours.”
“I’m not trembling…” Thanatos tried to protest.
“I am,” Zagreus whispered, and kissed him.
Thanatos was tempted to give in, to push aside all the complicated thoughts and accept Zagreus’ proposal. He shivered in Zagreus’ arms, fear and anxiety gripping him. What if? What if Zagreus grew to regret it? What if he resented him later in their long, immortal life?
“Than,” Zagreus cradled Thanatos’ face between his hands. “I would never regret marrying you.” Thanatos stiffened, realizing he voiced his concerns aloud. Zagreus continued. He gently knocked their foreheads together, their faces brought so close, their breaths mingled. “You once said I was like the sun to you, bright and radiant. But Than, it’s the same for me. You are my star and my light. You’ve been my dream for the last few decades. Because it’s you, I’ll never regret it.”
When their lips next touched, Thanatos felt Zagreus’ words on his lips, tasted the truth of them on his tongue.
“Please say yes.”
Zagreus’ declaration of love and devotion rendered Thanatos’ speechless. It was as if his heart flew on wings and got caught in his throat. A simple yes wasn’t enough to convey the depth of his emotions. Where to even begin? Should he start with how he’d forever be grateful and in awe someone such as Zagreus- sweet, loyal, thoughtful, and everything good in the Underworld- not only returned his affections, but courted him with considerate and lavish gifts? Or how each subsequent bottle of ambrosia, poppies in the vase, or torch in his tiny corner of the House, came with rising expectations and giddy excitement at their next meeting? Or the higher he climbed, the more afraid he was to fall? A thrill ran through him at the changes to their friendship, but it was followed hand-in-hand by trepidation at what it all meant if Zagreus still decided to leave him behind. Whether it was fear and anger, or lonely sadness that spurred him to chase after Zagreus, his every action and sentences spoken, it was laced with love. No words could describe how much he adored his willful prince, or how he almost wept when Zagreus turned the years of unrequited yearning into love returned tenfold.
But he wanted to try. Zagreus deserved that much from him.
A muscle worked spasmodically in Thanatos’ throat as he swallowed past the lump, a look of helplessness in his eyes. He gazed down upon Zagreus’ beloved face, wanting to memorize every line of it as if he hadn’t already. He had such smooth skin, Thanatos thought achingly, and such incredibly long eyelashes- they lay like lush, dark fans against his cheeks. “There...are a thousand things I want to tell you, but I don’t have a way with words like you do. It’s not easy for me to talk about feelings,” Thanatos emphasized the last word like it was a curse. Zagreus surprisingly stayed silent, knowing how hard it must be for Thanatos to speak his mind. He smiled encouragingly, his thumb absentmindedly grazing across Thanatos’ cheek.
“Before you… my life only consisted of my duty. It was empty. Colorless. And then you happened. Suddenly, I felt feelings I never believed existed. I saw things I’d never seen before.” Thanatos looked beyond Zagreus to the poppies laid around them. “I saw flowers in a meadow so red, it reminded me of you. You might think this is insignificant, but in the past, I never would’ve noticed or cared. You’re all I think about, Zagreus. You love the surface and the mortals, and I want to share that love with you. If you are bound to the Underworld, I’m willing to be your eyes and ears. I’ll describe every blade of grass in a field or the sight and sounds of a polis for you. It’s a poor compensation, but if I can alleviate a bit of your boredom or provide some use to you, I’ll be content. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. So please allow me to be a part of yours.”
“So...is that a yes?” Zagreus cocked his head to the side. “Because that sounded like a yes.” Zagreus quickly changed his tone when Thanatos raised his scythe. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I love you too! Don’t kill me yet! You can do it after the wedding.” A grin spread across Zagreus’ face, having nothing to do with his playful jest, but everything to do with Thanatos accepting his proposal. He could barely contain his excitement. “May I do the honors?” he asked, his voice and hands slightly shaking as he held up the earrings.
“Tsch.” Thanatos clicked his tongue in annoyance. However, seeing Zagreus doing his best to cover up his own nervousness, it soothed some of his wounded pride. With a faint pout, he obediently turned his head to the side.
Knowing better than to tease Thanatos any further, Zagreus kept his laughter to himself. He brushed aside Thanatos’ hair, and with trembling hands, slipped the betrothal gift into Thanatos’ delicate earlobe.
The bloodstone swayed in the air as Zagreus removed his hand. It caught the sunlight, sparkling and playing a myriad of beautiful colors across Thanatos’ cheek and neck. Each prismatic refraction on the other god’s skin was like a reminder of a kiss, touching upon places Zagreus favored when he had Than all to himself. At last, it was happening, a lifelong dream was being fulfilled. With nothing in the Underworld belonging to him, Than was finally becoming his.
Overcome with sudden emotions, Zagreus’ throat grew tight. He cleared it several times before he could speak. “Now for the other one,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and soft with immense tenderness.
A gentle dusting of gold graced Thanatos’ cheeks. As Zagreus continued to gaze up at him in earnest, timidity filled his chest like a burning coal. His blush gradually got brighter, spreading across his face, up to his ears and down to his neck. He avoided Zagreus’ adoring eyes; the instincts to shift away reared its ugly head, telling him to go, but how could he turn down the sweet request? Biting his bottom lip, he pushed past his awkwardness and turned his head as was asked of him.
Zagreus placed the last earring in, but his hand lingered. He traced the shell of Thanatos’ ear, entranced by the way the golden hue deepened into amber. Drawn in by the sight, and unwilling to resist, Zagreus leaned forward. His lips grazed where Thanatos’ ear met his cheek; smiling when the golden blush warmed his mouth.
“Enough.” Thanatos pushed at Zagreus’ chest until the younger god reluctantly relinquished his hold. Still unable to hold the other’s gaze, Thanatos pulled at the earring, the weight unfamiliar on his ear. “How is it? Does it...look alright?”
“You look beautiful.” Zagreus twirled Thanatos’ fringe around his finger. “You are always beautiful.”
Thanatos barely contained the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed “beautiful” was the only word Zagreus was capable of using to describe him. Who in their right mind would call Death Incarnate beautiful? Still, Thanatos appreciated the sentiment.
Whether because Zagreus was blind or seeing the world through rose colored glasses, he meant what he said. Sincerity permeated through his voice. In his eyes, he truly saw him as bewitchingly divine. As a reward- or perhaps out of pity for getting his head hit too hard by Lord Hades- Thanatos gave his impertinent prince a peck on the lips. It was a simple kiss, no more. Shutting him up was just an additional bonus. Thanatos made to pull away, but Zagreus stood on his toes and chased after his lips.
An arm wound around his waist. Zagreus’ other hand buried itself into his hair, caressing at first, then grasping lightly to support the weight of Thanatos’ head. Like a spark of ember in a dry forest, the heat of their mouths ignited and turned impassioned. Zagreus kissed him with tender pressure, exploring his lips with repeated brushes. Warm delight seemed to leak from Zagreus’ body and into Thanatos’ veins, flowing through him until he could no longer resist the urge to press against Zagreus. His legs found their perch on Zagreus’ hips, and the younger god was more than happy to bear his weight, his hands cupping Thanatos’ bottom and hauling him closer.
At the silken touch of Zagreus’ tongue, writhing sweetness vibrated down his spine to the core of his abdomen. The tongue lazily swept across the seams of his mouth, stroking the plush surface until they parted. Thanatos shivered as Zagreus searched his mouth intimately, as if the taste of him was something delicious, something to savor.
Death forever chased after Life, but it was Life that sought even the smallest taste of Death.
Finishing the kiss with a last coaxing nuzzle of his lips, Zagreus pulled back with a sigh. “I wished you didn’t have to work,” he said, burying his face into the crook of Thanatos’ neck. “Do you have to go? Can’t you stay with me? At least for today?”
Thanatos’ answer was to look down at where their hips connected, pressed flush against each other. Seeing the outline of Zag’s arousal, feeling it through the tights, Thanatos’ unconsciously wrapped his legs tighter around Zagreus’ waist.
“What about you? Care to take a break from the surface and spare some of your time for me?”
Zagreus tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
It was not in Thanatos’ nature to be coy. However, being with Zagreus was like being submerged in sparkling ambrosia. He was drunk off joy. His heart felt light and airy. The mischievous part of him, the one that wanted to laugh and have fun with his best friend couldn’t help but be pricked.
Thanatos’ smiled. His long fingers slid around the side of Zagreus’ face, tilting it to an upward slant. “After I hand in the new batch of souls to Charon, I’m scheduled for a break,” he murmured, his thumb stroking across the younger god’s mouth. “Preferably in your chambers. If you care to join me, I can give you a betrothal gift of my own.”
Hearing Zagreus’ sharp intake of breath, feeling the jerk of his arousal against his stomach, Thanatos laughed. Fingers dug into his bottom, but Thanatos easily shifted away. “See you at home, Zagreus.”
His cheerful voice echoed in Zagreus’ ears as he was left all alone in his mother’s garden.
Not for long though.
Zagreus found the nearest river and dived headfirst into it, calling on the Styx to take him home. Immediately. He had a betrothed to ravish.
