Gender is More Than Clothes: Writing Trans and Non-binary Characters

by A_LoveUnlaced

Summary:

1. Don't be afraid to write us. We don't bite (unless you're into that).
2. We are more than shapeshifters, robots, and Janets.
3. Trans people can be great murderers, but they're probably not murderers because they're trans.

A resource for cisgender authors to write trans and non-binary characters.

Notes:

This guide was written with fantasy in mind, but applies all types of fiction. It was written for cisgender authors with an introductory understanding of gender.

 

This mean you:
-Understand the differences between biological sex, gender, and sexuality.

-Know that trans men are just men and trans women are just women.

-Know that being trans or non-binary is not a choice, phase, or fad.

-Know that not all experiences are the same, and that there is no "right" way to be trans and non-binary, and that there is no one trans story. (There isn't even one common trans story.)

-Be able to give a basic definition of "gender euphoria" and "gender dysphoria".

-Are currently working on unlearning your preconceived notions about sex and gender (if you're reading this, you are!).

 

If you're still working on any of these, that's alright! Go do some reading and come back.

This is not an exhaustive guide. Keep researching, keep asking questions, and consider using a sensitivity reader.

Chapter 1: The Do's and Don'ts

The Do’s & Don’ts

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DON’T be afraid to write us!
With all due disrespect, fuck the haters! Your trans and non-binary characters don’t have to be perfect, just respectful. You don’t have to write a story about being trans or non-binary to include us. We make great romantic leads, wizards, sidekicks, background characters, and villains. 
• The truth is that by being afraid to write trans and non-binary characters, authors contribute to our erasure. There is a difference between writing something not perfectly accurate, and writing something disrespectful. Research, use a sensitivity reader, and remember that we are just humans. Most stories featuring trans and non-binary characters center around the transition, which, while an important part of life, is just one aspect. A character’s gender is just one aspect that informs their actions and emotions. 

DO investigate or invent gender neutral language

• The gender neutral word for "wizard" is "wix." (I.e. "The wixen world." "They're a powerful wix.")
• As an author, words are your playground. Don’t have a word that fits? Invent something new or re-invent something old (i.e. a woman can be a king, or have a new title entirely). 

DON’T introduce a character by their "trans" features. There is no "tell" or way to "look trans/ non-binary".

• Don’t call attention to "big hips,” an adam’s apple, “broad shoulders,”  or “manish hands", etc.
• Try describing instead: hair, eyes, height, style, attitude, accessories/ makeup, how they walk/ stand, how they speak, accent, etc.
• Give the reader subtle clues about the character’s relationship to their body. I.e. a character who hates her "big hands" might always hide them in her pockets or always wear nail polish to make them look more "feminine."
• For inspiration: think of a body part you don't like. What's your relationship to that body part? How do you alter that body part to make yourself feel more comfortable (loose clothes to cover a tummy, etc.)? 


DO tell us about their style!

• Style can give the reader a clue about where the character is in their transition and give subtle character details. When first transiting, there are often lots of awkward style moments while figuring out what you like, what works for your body, and what feels good. 
• Style will always intersect with race, class, disability, etc. Some questions to consider:
• Has the character had the time, money and support to figure out their style yet? Remember finding your own style. It takes time and money to experiment. 
• How did the character learn what a man/ woman looks like?
• Examples: Charlie is a trans man that dresses like a mix of his dad and 1980’s mens magazines because that’s what he had growing up. Pansy is a trans woman that loves designer fashion. She believes that to look feminine, she must be ultra thin.
• Did/ does the character have supportive allies to teach them the skills to perform their gender? I.e. 
• Examples: Even though her parents were transphobic, Katie’s sister taught her to do makeup. Marco started hormone therapy at age 20 and grew a beard. He learned to shave and tie and tie from his college RA.  
• Can the character find clothes that express their gender and fit their body size and shape?
• Need inspiration? Think back to middle school when you tried makeup for the first time or had a goth phase as you figured out style. Trans and non-binary people frequently have to learn skills and style on their own as adults because they couldn’t experiment as teenagers. 
• Keep in mind that gender is more than a costume. A man in a dress is still a man.
• Non-binary people do not have to be androgynous. They can present with any gender or style, use any pronouns, and are still non-binary.


DON’T link identity and character traits

• A trans or non-binary person can absolutely be a murderer. A trans or non-binary person probably isn’t a murderer because they are trans or non-binary.
• Trans and non-binary characters don’t have to be perfect, or even good. A character can be trans and an asshole, or non-binary and still misgender a friend.


DO write human trans and non-binary characters

• Most non-binary characters are non-humans (robots, computer programs, spaceships, dragons, etc.) or shapeshifters. Representation includes fully human characters.


DON’T forget context!

• Gender is never separate from race, sexuality, socioeconomic status, disability, religion, era, and location.
• No identity is "more important" than another. One might affect the moment more or be more salient to the plot, but the other intersections never go away, and they will inform each other. For example, rural American Queer culture will have different norms, jokes, fashions, etc. from urban English Queer culture.


DO explore doubt (but not regret)

• When a person transitions, they very rarely regret it (less than 1%). A character might experience doubt (i.e. “Am I non-binary enough?” “My parents are fighting. Am I hurting my family by transitioning?”) but that doubt should resolve in a way that affirms their identity.
• Portraying regret without extensive research (and likely, personal experience) will lead to inauthentic representation. If a person regrets transitioning, it’s usually regretting how it impacts others (i.e. a transphobic parent) and not the transition itself. 


DO give us moments of affirmation (please!)

• Not only do these feel good for the reader, they can assist in world building and give character details.
• Examples: Being accepted to a Witches Only school or club, being correctly gendered by a bartender, wearing a special/ gendered item of clothing (a wedding dress, a sari, a yarmakule, etc.)


DON’T assume all trans and non-binary people have dysphoria

• Dysphoria is not a prerequisite to being trans or non-binary. Some people experience it, some don’t.


DO think about names and pronouns 

• The act of misgendering or calling somebody by a deadname is not a sign of a "good" or "bad" character.
• It doesn’t matter if a character is "working on it".  The act of misgendering or deadnaming a character is an act of violence and causes harm. It’s no different than character A hitting character B.
• That said, sometimes we hurt the people we love, even unintentionally. Exploring this can lead to more authentic character interactions.
• Questions to ask: Why did character A misgender character B? Are they working on unlearning their biases? Does the character learn throughout the story and it’s part of their character growth (or lack thereof)?
• There is no such thing as a "preferred pronoun." It's just a pronoun.
• Non-binary characters can use any pronouns, or all pronouns. It’s not uncommon for a non-binary person to use she/her or her/him, sometimes in conjunction with they/them. Sometimes alone.
• Avoid “it” as a pronoun unless in the context of kink as this can be offensive.
• In a sentence. "They" works the same as "he" or "she". (They walked to the store. They're coming to the wedding.)


DON’T focus on the transition

• This might seem like the scariest part to write, but unless the story is about transitioning, you can largely ignore it. This character has a role to play beyond just being trans or non-binary. This is just one small part of their identity, and the transition itself is an even smaller part of that. A trans character might think about their transition as often as a cis character thinks about their hairstyle.


DO critically think about magic

• A magic potion that gives a character the perfect body might seem like an easy fix, but this isn’t reflective of how transitions work and can often feel cheap or uninteresting to trans and non-binary readers. Transitioning in a culture that values gender requires effort. Please honor that.
• Instead, let the transition be gradual. A simple potion might grow breasts, but growing a vagina requires a complicated, dangerous charm.
• Think about the metaphor. A genie popping out and offering to “grant your heart’s desire but at a terrible price” is a transphobic metaphor. The character should not experience negative consequences because of the transition.
For example:
• Transphobic: A djinn will grant Kyle’s greatest wish, but he must pay a price. He chooses to have a body that reflects his gender and is now in constant pain.
• He is punished for transitioning and it reinforces that transitioning is a bad thing or comes at a great cost.
• Not transphobic: An ancient scroll will grant one miracle. Kyle must choose between having a body that reflects his gender, thus ending his gender dysphoria, or saving his sick sister’s life. He chooses to save his sister. 
• This tells us that Kyle values his sister more than he wants to end his own pain. This is a heroic sacrifice.
• Not transphobic: Tobias feels desperate and alone. The villain offers Tobias the power to transition if he joins the dark side. Tobias chooses to join.
• This is the villain preying on Tobias’s lack of resources. If Tobias had support and access to transitioning, he would not be tempted to the dark side. This is a story of bad decisions made in desperation.
• If Tobais regrets joining the dark side: great! Give us a bad boy redemption arc.
• If Tobias doesn’t regret joining the dark side: great! Make sure we know why. Maybe the initial promise of transition drew him in, but then he started to believe in The Evil Agenda or he likes feeling valued as he rises through the ranks at Evil Inc.


DON’T reinforce harmful stereotypes

• We are not pedophiles. We are not dressing up so we can hide in bathrooms and kill people. 
  
• Avoid the shapeshifting character that changes their gender To Do Nefarious Things. This trope is deeply offensive.
• For example, in Harry Potter, Fenrir Greyback is a werewolf that hunts children. This is not inherently homophobic or transphobic, but because werewolfism is an obvious metaphor for HIV/AIDS (a condition that greatly impacts the LGBTQIA+ community) and LGBTQIA+ people are frequently accused of being pedophiles, this reinforces harmful stereotypes. The fact that Greyback changes his body (from human to werewolf) in order to harm people is transphobic.