Chapter Text
It was amazing, really, that Inuyasha had never accidentally seen Kagome naked in all the time they lived together.
Inuyasha, unfortunately, had plenty of his fair share of walk-ins on Miroku that were always followed by him considering whether gouging out his eyes with a spoon would be a feasible option. But since his entire career depended on needing to actually see what he was doing, he never followed through and the image of Miroku’s dick still burned in his memory.
With Kagome, on the other hand, the idea of her even having a naked body beneath the cute skirts and dresses she wore didn’t even pass through his mind. Sure, he knew she had an ample bosom and a tiny waist, but anyone who looked at her could see that.
The things that drew him to her had nothing to do with her appearance, though even he could admit that she looked so stunning, sometimes just the sight of her as she entered the room was enough to take his breath away. She was like the sun, warm and inviting and brightening everything within her reach.
However, that all changed on his human night when he walked into his bathroom and, through the steam, saw Kagome there in the bath, her breasts uncovered. His brain malfunctioned and he couldn’t move. Only stood there, his gray eyes as wide as they could go and his jaw dropped open involuntarily.
To her credit, she didn’t yell or throw anything at him, only covered herself with her arms and sank lower into the tub with an “eep!” He watched her face turn a brilliant shade of red under his gaze as he realized he was still just standing there staring at her.
“Uh…” he tried to form words but his brain hadn’t caught up yet.
“Did you need something, Inuyasha? You couldn’t wait until I was done?”
She didn’t sound angry, thank god. Her tone was more laced with shyness as she looked like she was ready to sink all the way into the water and never come up again.
“I-I didn’t know you were in here.”
“I told you I was taking a bath in your room because my tub was broken. Were you not listening to me?”
To be honest, no he wasn’t. Now that she mentioned it, though, it did sound vaguely familiar. They had been watching a movie on the couch together just thirty minutes ago, a historical action film that Inuyasha had been completely enraptured in. He knew Kagome had yawned and said something, then gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting up. Idiot that he was, he just assumed she was tired and was going to bed. If he had his demon senses, he absolutely would’ve heard her say specifically that she was taking a bath in his bathroom. Would’ve heard the water running. Would’ve smelled the gentle scent of her shampoo and lavender soap.
Dammit, now not only did he look like an idiot just gawking at her naked body, but he had embarrassed her as well.
“Ah- sorry. I didn’t hear you,” was all he could say, finally averting his eyes to the wall and rubbing at the back of his neck as his cheeks burned.
“It’s ok. At least you got a free show out of it.”
“I didn’t see anything!”
“Lying doesn’t make it any less awkward.”
“Uuuuh w-who says it’s awkward? I’m not making it awkward. You’re making it awkward.” His stammering insistence was, of course, what was making it awkward.
“It’s ok, Inuyasha. You just caught me by surprise. You were bound to see me naked eventually.”
“Right...cause roommates. It happens.”
She let out a tinkling laugh when he said this and, though he was begging for lighting to strike him down, just the sound of it made his heart feel a little bit lighter.
“No, dummy. Cause girlfriend. ”
The implication of it had his eyes snapping back to where she was resting her chin on top of her arms folded across the lip of the tub. There wasn’t a trace of anger or annoyance on her face, only those eyes that sparkled with something he didn’t quite understand.
“O-oh. Oh yeah.”
There must have been a look of absolute terror on his face because she just smiled at him and said “Relax, Inuyasha. We won’t do anything until you’re ready. Unless you want to now?”
Inuyasha chose not to focus on the implication that her words meant that she was ready now.
“Uh…”
“I’ll take that as a no. Well, if you aren’t going to do anything about this...” She gestured to the length of her naked body underneath the water. “Would you mind waiting outside? I’ll be done in just a few minutes and you’re kind of letting out all the heat.”
Inuyasha did what any logical adult male would do when faced with a beautiful naked woman who had offered herself to him. He did an immediate 180 and practically bolted out of the room, slamming the door behind him, and crashed onto his bed face first, willing himself to sink in and disappear from the face of the earth forever.
“Shit…” he groaned into his pillow. “Fucking idiot.”
He couldn’t believe how absolutely stupid he was. To not only have invaded Kagome’s personal space by not listening to her when she explicitly told him she was putting herself in a vulnerable position in his bathroom, but when faced with that position, he could only just gawk and stammer like a teenage boy.
Kagome was kind. She was understanding. Way too good for him and more than he would ever deserve. She would likely come out of the bathroom and act as if nothing had happened. That he had just caught her brushing her hair or something instead of busting in on her naked in the bath. Other than the mild surprise of being walked in on, she hadn’t even been phased. Had even seemed welcoming of him.
And even through his shame, that thought had his stomach doing flip-flops. Someone wanted him in that capacity. And that someone was Kagome. If he were to take that leap with anyone, he wanted it to be her. And even though they lived together, he just hadn’t considered that taking that next step in their relationship was even an option.
Was he even ready for it? Was she? She was already dating him, but had she ever really considered what it would be like to actually be with a hanyou like that? To be honest, Inuyasha didn’t even know what that would be like. Hanyou didn’t date. They didn’t have relationships. And they definitely didn’t engage in sex, at least not when they weren’t in their human period. This was entirely new territory to him and he would rather die than force Kagome into anything she was unprepared for.
But if he was going to breach it, he knew without a doubt that they would try at it together. That maybe it wouldn’t come naturally easy to them, but it was something worth working towards.
After minutes of ruminating, Inuyasha heard the bathroom door creak open, a wave of heat filling his bedroom.
“Hey, bathroom’s all yours now!”
Her voice sounded normally cheery as he knew it would. She could tell that she paused where she was when she saw him lying facedown in his bed, face jammed into his pillow. But despite his resolve that he knew he was ready for something more with Kagome, he couldn’t bring himself to move. He was still just a coward.
“Inuyasha?” she asked him all too kindly.
When he only responded with a grunt, he felt the weight of his bed shift as she sat down next to him.
“It’s really not that big of a deal, Inuyasha. I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”
He shook his head without lifting it from the pillow.
“Oh. Well, do you think we should talk about it? About...us? Set some expectations and boundaries for whenever you decide you’re ready for more?”
He nodded, forever grateful that she had breached the topic first because there was no way that he would ever be able to.
“You’ll have to sit up. I can’t talk to you if you’re hiding.”
Knowing she was right but not wanting to face her just yet, he let out what was meant to be a grumble but sounded more like a whine.
“Be a big boy, Inuyasha,” she teased as he felt her delicate fingers stroking his back, the calming sensation of it giving him half a mind to stay just like he was so she would keep touching him like that.
“I promise I’m not mad or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”
That wasn’t what worried him because he knew her too well to know how forgiving she was. He turned his head slightly to peek up at her, relieved to see that she was dressed in a cozy creme sweater and black leggings rather than just wrapped in a towel. That sight would’ve sent Inuyasha right over the edge of the precipice he was barely clinging onto.
“Hey,” she told him, her smile warm and inviting as always. Those fingers continued dancing across his back, through his hair, and for a moment, he forgot what had even gotten them into the conversation they were about to have. It was just them, the way it had always been.
But when Kagome moved to lay down on her back beside him, he rolled his body onto his side to make room for her, letting her head drift down onto the pillow they shared. Without any thought from either of them, their hands found each other from where they rested at their sides, fingers interweaving as though they were finally coming together as one entity.
“I never told you about my first time,” Kagome began, keeping her eyes locked on the ceiling above them. Unsure of where this was leading, he simply shook his head and let her continue at her own pace.
“It was with Koga, my first real boyfriend.”
Inuyasha suppressed a growl, remembering what little she had said about him. That they dated in high school through to her second year of college until he cheated on her just a few days shy of their anniversary, then proceeded to date the girl a few weeks later. The betrayal had shattered her heart so deeply, yet she had never allowed that to keep her from trusting others. It spoke volumes to just how much love and kindness she was capable of.
“He knew that I wanted it to be special and we did wait until college before we went all the way because he knew I wasn’t ready yet. But eventually, just kissing and touching wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more and I only wanted to make him happy so...one night, I let him convince me into it. Even though I knew I didn’t actually want to. But he was my boyfriend and he just kept trying to persuade me until I felt so guilty for saying no when he had waited for me that I just...caved.”
She shook her head and pursed her lips as if to question what she had even been thinking at the time.
“And it was terrible. I had always heard stories of how the first time is supposed to be that way...but it just felt so wrong. I didn’t even think anything of it at the time, though. I just wanted to be a good partner and give him what he wanted. And there were times after that when it was nice, but having sex just ended up putting more pressure on our relationship, even outside the bedroom. It was always on his terms. He decided when we would do anything and if I didn’t want it, he would tell me that I lacked passion and I wasn’t normal.
“Eventually, you know he cheated and I...I was devastated. I blamed myself. That maybe if I had just at least pretended and hadn’t been as honest, that maybe he would still want me.” She took a pause and Inuyasha assumed she was finished.
“Kagome, I-”
She turned her head from where she had been staring at the ceiling to finally look at him instead and the moment their eyes locked, every comforting thing that he could say to her left his brain.
Kagome was the biggest crybaby he had ever met. She cried at the drop of a hat. At puppy videos, a frustrating day, tales Inuyasha told of his mother. Yet now, they weren’t so much as even glistening. After telling him something so personal, he had expected to have to wipe away her tears and comfort her as she wept for something that had been taken from her.
Instead, she smiled at him.
“It took me years to accept what he did to me. And forgiving someone who wasn’t even sorry was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I refused to let this stupid boy, who obviously didn’t know how to love me, control my life or my future. And after he left, I did casually date for a while, some of them better lovers than others, but Inuyasha, what I want you to know is that none of them ever made me feel the way that you do. Even just laying here next to you, I feel safe and secure and I trust you completely. So, whenever you’re ready, know that I really do want to be with you. It will mean everything to me.”
All he could do was kiss her. What else was there that he could say? How else could he express how important she was? How he would never treat her as if she was something that he owned. Something to control or use for his own needs.
The hand that wasn’t squeezing hers wrapped around the back of her neck to pull her closer to him, her damp hair spilling between his fingers. They kept their kisses soft, merely sliding lips that lingered as they drew against each other. There was no rush, no sense of urgency that pushed them past where they needed to be in that moment. No possession or desperation. They were just simply two souls that had somehow found in each other exactly what they needed.
Her body shifted towards his so she could melt into him, legs intertwining with his own as her free hand gripped the maroon t-shirt that hung loosely from his body. She gave him one last lingering kiss before burying her face into his chest and he held her to him as tightly as he dared.
They simply laid in comfortable silence together for several minutes while Inuyasha stroked the back of her hand that he still refused to let go of with his thumb. Though he had trouble forming words, he felt he needed to speak. That it was important that he tell her.
“I-I want to, too.”
She pulled back slightly, enough to see his face. Those brown eyes that he adored glittered so brightly, he felt compelled to place a kiss on each of them.
“Really? You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I do. Just...not tonight. I don’t want my first time to be when I’m human.” She nodded her head in complete seriousness.
“I understand.”
And he knew that she truly did without him needing to explain any further. How much it meant to him that he had found someone who not only accepted him as a hanyou, but loved him for it. And he wanted to experience every moment, every sensation to the full extent of his abilities. With his inexperience, he would probably need all the help he could get.
“Your first time...you’ve never…?” her words trailed off, either not wanting to say it outright or not sure just how little he had done with anyone else.
“I’ve kissed a girl, sure. But nothing other than that.”
“Nothing?”
“Nope.”
“Never?”
“That’s what I said.”
“But...how?” He let out a sigh, knowing he would have to tell her again because no matter how many times he said it, she always had trouble believing him.
“I’m a hanyou, Kagome.”
“So? Is everyone blind? Have they not seen you? Please, I bet you were the one everyone wanted to secretly get with. Guys and girls.” He scoffed out a breath.
“Keh! Hardly.”
“Well, they were stupid. And it’s their loss. I mean, who could resist those ears?” He ignored the statement but appreciated her attempt to keep the conversation light and playful to keep him from getting too embarrassed.
“I wouldn’t have done anything with them even if they were interested.”
“Really? Why not?”
This was something that Inuyasha had often wondered himself. Everyone around him, especially Miroku, seemed to be consumed with wanting sex. But not Inuyasha. No, he regarded the act in the same way he regarded a hobby that people were interested in. He never assumed he would have it and he hadn’t craved it the way others did.
Hearing Miroku’s nightly escapades, thankfully all consensual, hadn’t stirred any deep longing inside him for another person’s touch. And when Sango came into the picture and he often had a front-row seat to their canoodling that he would have to slip from the room before it grew into something more, it hadn’t been out of jealousy or because it secretly turned him on. He just didn’t get it or want to be around it. He didn’t feel the primal need to be intimate with another person the way that they did.
Even with Kagome, when they first met and he had been apprehensive about his feelings towards her for months, having sex with her never crossed his mind. He wanted her company, her smile, her kindness, not her body. He appreciated her pretty looks and how she smelled and dressed, but anything else was so foreign to him, he hadn’t even considered it.
Then seeing her naked, her telling him she wanted him like that...it was like a flip switched and now he realized just how badly he wanted it, too. To share something like that with Kagome would be an honor. And he realized now after hearing her story, that he wanted to be the one to treasure her the way she deserved. He didn’t know if he would even be capable of it, but he would try his damnedest.
“Just didn’t want to. I didn’t feel that way for anyone.”
“And...now?”
“I said I wanted to.”
“I know, I just wanted to hear you say it again,” she said with a smirk.
He rolled his eyes at her, prompting a giggle that he smothered with his lips. Their kisses were more heated this time, the weight of their confessions lifted, leaving only room for the freshly aired out desire for each other. Her legs wrapped around his tighter as the hand tangled in her hair roamed the length of her spine before gripping her tiny waist, the fabric of her sweater riding up just enough to feel a sliver of the smooth skin that laid beneath.
He had kissed Kagome plenty of times, touched her, held her. But this was different. This was a journey rather than the destination as it had always been before. He felt a pull in the base of his core that no person had ever made him feel. A longing that was starting to ache between his legs as the sweatpants he was wearing began to tighten.
She pulled back just enough to whisper against his lips.
“Say it again,” she mumbled so low, he was just barely able to catch it.
“I want to.”
Her lips fell back against his before pulling away again, the smack of their kiss unashamedly loud before she let out a gasping breath.
“Again.”
“I want to.”
She crushed herself against him again with an open mouth and he met her in fervor, her breaths turning into pants that he devoured. When she drew back again, he was groaning, refusing for there to be any space left between them anymore as he tried to lean back into her. A delicate finger to his lips stopped him.
Inuyasha paused, widening his half-lidded eyes as he met her own, a look of seriousness on her face. He realized what was happening now. After her disastrous first time, she wanted his consent, openly and without question.
“Again.”
“Kagome,” he barely recognized his own voice, deep with longing. “I want you. ”
And that must’ve been all she needed to hear before she was crashing against him, her tongue immediately meeting his own in their own intricate dance. Inuyasha didn’t totally know what he was doing, but Kagome made it easy for him to follow her lead. Every slide of their tongues, every nip of his lips, he not only loved, but he thrived on it. And he was more than willing to learn what she wanted as well. In fact, he was making it his sole mission.
Inuyasha reluctantly released the hand that clutched his own, her disappointment evident in how her lips broke apart against his, but it was brief as he rolled his body on top of hers. He had wanted to make sure to not crush her small body with the full weight of his muscle, but when she pulled him to her and dug her nails into his back through the fabric of his t-shirt, he knew she would not allow him to be so fragile with her.
He was made painfully aware of how hard he was now as she looped her legs around his waist and ground her hips into his, eliciting a kind of moan that had never passed his lips before. One that Kagome returned in kind as if hearing him losing control was doing things to her as well.
His hand slid to her waist to try and maintain a semblance of control, lest he lose himself way too early, but she was relentless. Though she was so tiny, there was no way he could contain her. So instead of trying to stop her, he went with her instead.
His hand slipped under her sweater and pressed into the warm flesh of her side, trailing his fingers up to her ribs in a whisper of a touch. He could feel her shiver beneath him as she gasped into his mouth.
He took the opening to slip his tongue past her lips and explore, reveling in the fact that she welcomed him enthusiastically. Her tongue, her lips, her teeth, he could feel it all. His entire world had almost narrowed down to it. Almost, as his hand was still feeling soft skin that he had never touched before, marveling at how he could feel how her body expanded with each breath she took. Unable to help himself, he gave her side a small squeeze just to feel how deeply her skin indented beneath his touch.
His hand slipped further up her body, but when he just came into contact with the underside of her breast, he paused everything, his lips left just grazing her own. It shouldn’t have startled him that she wasn’t wearing a bra, having just come out of the bath. He had even seen her breasts there with his own eyes just a few minutes ago and now he was jumping right in to touch them? This would move them into the next step, past kissing, past making out. She said she was ready, but did she mean right now ?
As if sensing his hesitation, Kagome gripped his arm and rasped out, “Yes, Inuyasha. Yes,” before she gripped his wrist and moved it for him to cover her breast. And when he squeezed, she gasped as if the sensation surprised her. As if no one had touched her there in a long time and she forgot how it felt.
He kneaded the flesh in a circle beneath his fingers, working from the top around the edge and delighting at how full it was, the entirety of it taking up the entire grip of his hand, no small feat due to the sheer size of it.
Inuyasha, however, realized that Kagome seemed to be straining underneath him, her chest pushing up into his hand and shifting as if to get the angle just right. It wasn’t until his thumb just traced across her nipple that her head fell back with a groan. That was the spot.
He continued rolling the bud beneath his fingers, experimenting with the best way to make her writhe. It wasn’t long before he figured out that circling it between his index and middle finger leading into a soft pinch was what made her moan the loudest and start the grinding motions of her hips against his again. It was the most erotic thing Inuyasha had ever experienced.
As he continued working her breast, Kagome’s head dug back further into the pillow. He simply watched for a minute as her eyes drifted closed, her kiss-swollen lips partly open as she whined his name. But now the sight of the slope of her neck that was now bared to him was practically singing to him.
He dipped down to taste the sweet skin with a flick of his tongue and she tilted her head to the opposite side to give him better access. The act of submission had a sense of male pride swelling in his chest, but it was the erection twitching against his will that was harder to temper down.
Inuyasha alternated between kissing, licking, and nipping at the expanse of the area before him all while the hand underneath her shirt continued to fondle her breast. And Kagome was receptive to all of it, her soft moans broken up only by whispers of various words. He could only make out a few of them: Yes, please, Inuyasha .
Hearing his name in that tone alone was enough to keep him fully satisfied for a lifetime. The friction of her hips where they pressed against the rock-hard bulge in his pants...well that was simply a bonus.
“Inuyasha,” he heard her say again as if she needed to tell him something important and pulled back enough to look at her. What he wasn’t expecting was the frown that broke out across her face when she opened her brown eyes and met his own.
“Wait. Inuyasha, wait.”
He immediately retracted his hand from underneath her top and lifted his weight off of her. The erection that had just moments before been so hard that just the friction of Kagome’s hips would have been enough to make him completely shatter, was instantly lost.
Utter shame began to leak across his chest and down to the pit of his belly as a million possibilities for why she stopped him ran through his mind in an instant. He had to have done something wrong. He pushed her too hard. He hurt her. She was having regrets about living with a hanyou and realized she didn’t love him like that and needed to move out effective immediately.
“I-is something wrong?” He asked her. The pure terror he felt must have shown on his face because the frown lifted as if she just realized it was even there in the first place.
“No! No, everything is great. It’s just…” She brought a hand up to caress his cheek and Inuyasha had a hard time not leaning into her touch. “How many hours left until sunrise?”
It took Inuyasha a moment to comprehend her meaning, but when he finally did...
Shit. Shit.
He was still human. And he had explicitly told her that he didn’t want to be for his first time. He looked down at his clawless hands, realizing now just how dulled his senses were. He had been so caught up in what Kagome’s needs were, he didn’t even notice that he couldn’t smell anything but a faint trace of her shampoo. Why he had trouble making out what she had been whispering to him. He looked to the clock that rested on the nightstand beside his bed.
“Six hours.”
Dammit.
“Did you...did you change your mind?” she asked him worriedly. “Do you want to keep going? I just thought-”
“No, you were right to stop. It...we should wait.”
He looked back over towards his almost lover and was horrified to see a guilt-ridden face.
“I’m so sorry, Inuyasha. I got carried away and I put too much pressure on you to do something you specifically said you didn’t want to do. I knew you were human but I still practically jumped you until I looked at you just now and saw that your eyes were gray and not the gold that I was expecting. God, I’m just like him.”
Him meaning. ..Koga , Inuyasha realized.
She covered her face with her hands in shame. He could feel her trying to retract her body from his, but he held her where she was. With one hand, he gently pulled at the wrist of one of her hands before placing a brief kiss to the center of her palm. He repeated the same with her other arm then sunk his body back onto hers, trapping her beneath his weight as his head rested on her chest.
“Stupid, what are you even blabbering on about? Of course, you aren’t like that asshole. You stopped us when you realized it wasn’t right. I’m the dumbass who forgot his own rule. Don’t worry about it.”
He could feel one of her hands stroking his back while the other snaked into the hair at the top of his head, fingernails tenderly scratching at his scalp. The soothing sensation of this had his eyes almost rolling into the back of his head as he nuzzled into her further, limbs beginning to feel heavy. This close, he could smell the traces of her lavender soap on her skin and was reminded of just how worth it it would be to wait until he could fully experience everything that he held dear with Kagome.
“Well, what do you want to do now?” she asked him, obviously intent on staying up the full night with him. She didn’t have school tomorrow so he didn’t even try to fight it.
“Just...stay like this for a minute.”
She didn’t say anything else, but he had a sneaking suspicion that she was giving the top of his head one of those soft smiles that warmed his heart.
But the minute that he initially asked for turned into five, which turned into thirty, which then turned into six hours as for the very first time on a New Moon, Inuyasha fell asleep.