Chapter Text
[Testing Yeonjun’s Patience]
Eomma: I’m getting a headache.
Eomma: Either the fame has finally made my head too big
Eomma: Or one of you is on your bullshit again.
Eomma: Until someone fesses up I’m blaming Beomgyu.
Chaotic Neutral: I always feel so attacked in this chat.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Because you deserve it.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Also, the fuck is this name?
Chaotic Neutral: The truth.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Why do you even have control over this.
Chaotic Neutral: Why else would I have been the one who made the damn chat.
Eomma: Watch your fucking language.
Eomma: Back to the point. The hell did you do this time?
Chaotic Neutral: Live. That’s it.
Chaotic Neutral: All I do is live and this is how I get treated. Smh.
Leader: At least it’s not me.
Eomma: Actually, now that you’re here
Leader: Whhhhhhy.
Eomma: My bullshit radar is going off. It’s either you or the brat.
Leader: I’ve been recording all morning. You know that. You’re with me.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: So it’s Beomgyu.
Chaotic Neutral: This is beta discrimination.
Leader: You legit get away with more than Kai.
Chaotic Neutral: Okay, yeah.
Chaotic Neutral: BUT
Chaotic Neutral: That’s for two reasons.
Chaotic Neutral: Kai is an angel who almost never does anything wrong.
Chaotic Neutral: And I’m stealthy as fuck.
Angel Face: Did someone say angel? I’m here now! 😇
Eomma: I would hate that if you were literally anybody else.
Angel Face: 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: I would stop talking to you if you were literally anyone else.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: But since it’s you, it’s fricking adorable.
Leader: Insanely adorable.
Eomma: Blasphemously adorable.
Angel Face: 🥰
Angel Face: What did Beomgyu-hyung do?
Chaotic Neutral: N O T H I N G .
Leader: Bull.
Chaotic Neutral: YOU’RE JUST SAVING YOURSELF.
Angel Face: Why the caps lock?
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Put the caps down, weirdo.
Chaotic Neutral: I DO WHAT I WA
Chaotic Neutral: hold up
Leader: ?
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Is he dead? It’s been 15 minutes??
Eomma: Hell no. No one kills my brats but me. I’m going back to the dorm.
Angel Face: That is sweet and scary at the same time.
Leader: I’ll go with you. I’m too distracted to work now.
Chaotic Neutral: I’m alive. Thanks so much for the concern.
Eomma: I was prepared to wrestle you from the jaws of death just now.
Leader: I was not.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Lol.
Angel Face: At least you’re honest!
Chaotic Neutral: So… I may or may not have left the stove on.
Eomma: Jesus.
Chaotic Neutral: And a roll of paper towels I left by said stove may have been right in the line of fire.
Eomma: Jesus.
Chaotic Neutral: So that roll might have burst into flames.
Eomma: J e s u s .
Chaotic Neutral: And, long story short, I may or may not be staring down a massive inferno.
Eomma: JESUS.
Chaotic Neutral: Welp, we just lost the couch.
Eomma: JESSYIFHOH
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Hyung. I’m at the dorm with him. So is Kai. I think one of us would have noticed a raging house fire. Calm down.
Leader: He almost jumped out of a window. It’s a little late for that.
Chaotic Neutral: OMYGODHEBELIEVEDME.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: You’re acting like he isn’t going to strangle you when he gets here.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: The only good thing about this is that I can hear Hyuka scream-laughing from his room.
Chaotic Neutral: he’s not the only one
Chaotic Neutral: god i think i’m crying
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: Great. So when are you telling us what’s actually wrong?
Leader: Wait what.
Chaotic Neutral: I didn’t wake up today to be exposed in a chat of my own making.
Angel Face: Something’s wrong? Are you sick, hyung?
Chaotic Neutral: No.
Chaotic Neutral: Well, kinda.
Eomma: Spill.
Angel Face: Fuhgjb
Angel Face: That scared the crap out of me.
Chaotic Neutral: Most things scare the crap out of you.
Leader: I mean, point.
Angel Face: I just came out to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: I would cringe at that meme but that’s not the point right now.
Chaotic Neutral: Quick, Hyuka, meme again so he’s distracted.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: You’ve smelled weird for hours now.
Chaotic Neutral: So you were just waiting to call me out.
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: No shit.
Eomma: We’re here and we left our keys behind so open up.
Chaotic Neutral: Am I allowed to say no to that?
Leader: … I don’t think so?
Angel Face: Hyung, you do smell off. I can’t believe I just noticed it.
Eomma: God so help me I will break down this door.
Chaotic Neutral: Uuuuuugggggggghh.
Chaotic Neutral: So, you know how Taehyun and Soobin went into heat last week?
Leader: It would be kind of hard to forget since that’s almost half of us.
Chaotic Neutral: Who says you need a calculator for math?
Leader: Shhhhhhh.
Eomma: Why can’t we do this in person?
Chaotic Neutral: Like I was saying
Eomma: 😑
Chaotic Neutral: I think my body’s pushing me into a phantom heat.
Leader: …
Eomma: …
KnowledgeForKnowledge’sSake: …
Angel Face: …
Angel Face: Wut