Chapter Text
“Two days?” Luke glances at the calendar on Vyn’s desk, because surely mature, responsible Vyn can be away from home for two days and not need anyone to housesit for him. “How much work do these plants really take?”
Vyn sets down his vintage suitcase. It hits the wooden floor with a dull thud. “If you had read the manual I sent you, you would know.”
“The… manual?” Luke trails off.
“Yes,” Vyn says. “In the email I sent.”
So… the huge PDF Vyn had attached to his “will be away, please take care of my plants” email had turned out to be very important reading material.
“Not to worry,” Vyn says, when Luke has been silent for more than a couple of moments. “There is a physical copy on my coffee table.” He checks his watch. “Now I must go.”
“Right now? Your flight’s in six hours.”
“It generally pays to be early.” Vyn picks up his suitcase. “In the unlikely event of an emergency, I am merely a phone call away.”
“Yup,” Luke says. “Cool, cool.”
“You do have my phone number?” Vyn tilts his chin upwards.
“Absopositively.”
Vyn studies him for a moment, then nods. “Very well. I shall be on my way, then.” He turns and heads for the front door, and Luke follows him to the entrance.
“Remember, I am expecting a delivery tomorrow,” Vyn says before he steps outside.
“Uh huh,” Luke says. “You said it was a plant, right?”
Vyn nods. “Yes. You should have no issue with it whatsoever.” He slips on his dress shoes and nods at Luke one more time. “Thank you for your help.”
“Hey.” Luke resists the urge to shoot finger guns at Vyn. “What are friends for?”
Vyn only glances at Luke when he says that, and then he turns around and heads for the taxi parked outside.
Luke waves at him in the driveway.
The moment the taxi drives away and he can’t see Vyn anymore, Luke shuts the front door and picks up his phone. He knows Vyn is somewhere in his contact list.
After debating between contacts saved as Doctor number one and Doctor number two — because, back when he’d first met Vyn, he couldn’t be bothered to look up how to spell Adjudicator — Luke takes a risk and dials the latter option.
“Hello?” Vyn picks up instantly. Pop music plays in the background, soft enough to recognize, but not loud enough to distract from Vyn’s voice.
“Hi!” Luke exclaims. “I was just checking to see if I, uh, had your number.”
“Okay,” Vyn says. “And?”
“I do.”
“Evidently.” After a short pause, Vyn hangs up.
Luke stares at his phone for a while. Finally, he taps on Vyn’s contact name and adds a glasses emoji next to Doctor number two — a surefire way to be able to tell the difference between the two contacts.
Luke only hopes that Aaron doesn’t get glasses anytime soon.
He puts down his phone and looks around at Vyn’s fancy, squeaky clean home. It seems like a pretty comfy place to stay for the next two nights.
Luke walks over to Vyn’s coffee table, where a large, A4-sized book is sitting next to a vase. He picks it up and flips through it. Eighty pages, Times New Roman, font size eleven, single-spaced. Luke sighs and sinks into the nearest armchair. He should’ve known Vyn would do something like this.
The only good thing about the book — besides it being extremely detailed — is the diagrams. Vyn has painstakingly catalogued every species of plant he owns, with labels and color printing and everything.
Luke turns to the front, where a table of contents is sitting. After skimming through it, he finds that five out of the eighty pages make up the index. At least it’s less reading.
As Luke reads through the book’s (alphabetized) chapters, he finds that most of Vyn’s plants — roses excluded — only need to be casually watered each day.
Vyn has helpfully put the suggested amount of water for each plant in milliliters.
This man is insane, Luke thinks, and turns the page.
The first day is easy enough. Vyn has already taken care of the outside plants, so all Luke needs to do is to water the ones indoors. He reads the plant book, makes a sandwich from all the nice things Vyn has in his fridge, and feeds Peanut. When he’d given Luke a house tour, Vyn had told him there was a guest room where he could stay. It comes with a window to let Peanut out, so Luke spends the night there comfortably.
The next morning also starts off well. Luke makes breakfast, waters the plants, and reads through a few case files from home.
It’s only when he’s halfway through the files when the doorbell rings.
Luke folds over a corner of the page he’s reading and walks over to get the door. “Hello?”
The delivery man is standing next to a large plant about the height of one and a half Lukes. “Are you…” he reads his clipboard. “Vyn Richter?”
“No, but I’m standing in for him,” Luke says.
The delivery man shrugs and hands him the clipboard and a pen. “Sign here, please.”
Luke scribbles his name down and hands back the items. “Do I need to pay you anything?”
“Dr. Richter has already covered the full bill,” the delivery man says. He taps the pot. “Where do you want this?”
“Uh,” Luke says. Vyn hadn’t told him that the plant he’d ordered was this big. “The living room?”
The delivery man shrugs again. With Luke’s help, they lift the potted plant and set it down in the center of Vyn’s living room. They drop some soil on the ground in the process, but Luke figures he can sweep that up later.
“Well, be careful,” the delivery man says.
“Huh?”
But when Luke spins around, the delivery man is already out the door.
Luke turns back to study the plant. It looks like someone dragged a Venus flytrap into Photoshop and enlarged it by many, many pixels. Actually, scratch that. It bears a larger resemblance to Chomper from Plants vs. Zombies.
“Well, you’re a big plant,” Luke says.
The plant doesn’t respond.
Luke squints at the plant for a moment, then turns around to get Vyn’s book. After flipping through the diagrams twice, he fails to find anything that even remotely resembles the plant in front of him.
“Do you think Vyn names his plants?” Luke asks, setting the book back down on the table.
Silence.
“Well, just between you and me, I think I’ll name you Macaron,” Luke says, and then he dials Vyn.
This time, it takes about ten extra seconds for Vyn to pick up.
“Luke?”
“Yeah, hi.” Luke glances at Macaron. “Your plant just came in.”
“That is good to hear.”
“I was wondering if it needs to be watered or anything?” Luke thinks he can make out people talking in the background. “I put it in the living room.”
“The living room is fine,” Vyn says. The background noise gets louder. “You should not have to water it today. When I return tomorrow, I will be able to check on it myself.”
“Okay,” Luke says. “You want a picture?”
Either something is disrupting the signal or Vyn is in a very loud place, because he doesn’t seem to hear the question. “Thank you for letting me know about the plant. My sincerest apologies, but I need to get to my meeting.” Vyn hangs up.
With nothing else to do, Luke sweeps the soil into a dustpan and returns to his case files.
It’s only when the sun is beginning to set when he notices Macaron’s leaves are shifting. At first, he brushes it off as the work of a stray breeze. But... all the downstairs windows are shut. Huh.
Luke hops off the bar stool he’s sitting on and moves over to the plant. Gently, he pokes at one of its leaves with a pencil.
Slowly, the plant’s head turns to face him.
“Whoa.” Luke hops back.
Macaron leans forward.
“Are you… sure you’re a plant?”
Even though it doesn’t respond, Luke backs away, more than a little spooked. Briefly, he wonders if he should call you, but at this time, you’re still at work, and so is Artem. That… really only leaves one contact.
Luke pulls up his phone and dials Not King.
“Yo.” Marius picks up.
“Uh,” Luke says. “Are you free?”
“When am I ever?”
“Right.” Luke chuckles nervously. “Sorry. I assumed.”
“What’s up?” Marius asks.
“Nothing.” Macaron hasn’t moved from its previous position, so Luke is beginning to think he imagined the whole thing. “Just a stupid plant, that’s all.”
Marius laughs. “You called me about a plant?”
“Look, I swear it moved just now,” Luke says. Maybe he’s just tired? Or stressed? He’s not sure anymore.
“Where are you?” Marius asks. “I’m coming over. I gotta see the scary plant.”
Luke hates how much the idea of company makes him feel better. He’s an NSB agent, he’s handled much worse than some mystery plant. But he caves in and tells Marius anyway. “Vyn’s house.”
“Gotcha. I’ll be there in ten.”
Before Luke can change his mind, Marius hangs up.
In the relative quiet of Vyn’s house, Luke can only hear the clock ticking in the background. In a way, it reminds him of his antique shop.
But here, where he is alone with a stupidly large plant, it sounds more like something is counting down to disaster.
Luke tells himself it’s only his imagination. Marius will come over, look at Macaron, laugh at him, and then go home. Luke probably won’t hear the end of it for the next few weeks, but maybe that’s better than being alone right now.
Luke snaps a photo of Macaron, then tucks his phone away into his pocket and begins to clear away his case files. “Peanut!”
It takes a minute, but Peanut appears from upstairs and perches onto his arm.
“Stay close,” Luke says, in case Macaron somehow senses a small, potentially edible bird nearby. Keeping the plant’s size in mind, it’s not a leap of logic to think that it might just snatch Peanut up.
If that happens, Luke isn’t sure if Vyn is going to have a new plant anymore.
The doorbell rings.
Luke glances at Macaron — it doesn’t shift — and answers the door. Aside from the lampposts in the surrounding area, it’s almost completely dark outside.
“Am I a fast driver, or what?” Marius strikes an unnecessary pose.
Luke doesn’t answer that. “You really came all this way for a plant?”
“I wanted to see what could get an NSB agent all worked up.”
Luke steps aside so Marius can get through. “I named it Macaron. It doesn’t look friendly.”
Marius wheezes. “You named it what?”
“Shut up.” Even though Marius is already familiar with the house, Luke leads Marius into the living room.
Marius’ eyes widen when he sees Macaron. He whistles. “Big plant.”
“Yeah.” Luke puts his hands on his hips. He still doesn’t know what Vyn was thinking when he ordered this.
“This is Vyn’s?”
“Yeah,” Luke says again.
“Honestly, I’m not as surprised as I thought I’d be.” Marius circles Macaron, and to Luke’s relief, it doesn’t move at all.
Maybe it really had been his imagination.
Marius tugs at a leaf. “I guess it is a pretty creepy-looking thing.”
And Macaron swivels around to face him.