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The shift had barely started an hour ago and Maya was already finishing her first task of the day. While others used the first hour of every shift to only grab their turnout gear out of the storage room and take it to the barn –for the first call of the day–, before they started on breakfast, Maya didn’t. She was the most productive in the mornings anyway so she liked to get her chores finished sooner rather than later and that’s why, barely past 9 am, she was already done checking the hoses and writing in the report which ones needed replacing, adding the note for Beckett to request them –and, of course, her turnout gear was neatly waiting for her on the passenger side of the engine.
And so, she was walking to the beanery, clipboard in hand as she finished the report, to see what the team had prepared for breakfast since her stomach was starting to demand for something other than the protein shake she drank a few hours ago.
The blonde looked up from her notes and took a deep breath, frowning when she caught the scent of what Travis was cooking. “Eggs and bacon again? Really, Montgomery?”
Travis looked away from the stove to raise an eyebrow at the lieutenant’s direction. “What’s wrong with eggs and bacon?”
“Nothing wrong with them except for the fact that we’ve had eggs and bacon for breakfast for the last three shifts in a row.” The blonde reproached, leaving her clipboard on the counter so she could cross her arms and cock her head to the side.
“To be honest, that’s the only breakfast anyone can do without screwing up.” Vic jumped in to help her best friend as she grabbed a chair and turned it around, straddling it and resting her arms on the backrest. “Even Gibson can do it.”
“Hey!” Jack complained immediately from the lounge, hearing the jab at him through the open space between the two rooms.
Everyone laughed at that, even Maya.
“I gave you a compliment, you idiot!” The younger firefighter said, leaning back to so the insult could reach his ears without a problem.
Before anyone could say something else, Dean appeared in the beanery, clapping his hands once and rubbing them together with a big smile on his face. “Is breakfast ready?”
“In a few minutes.” Travis answered with a smile as he kept scrambling the eggs and moving the sizzling bacon as it got crispier.
Maya’s eyebrows knitted together again at Dean’s arrival, her eyes scanning the beanery and the lounge to count all the people present. Every member of 19, minus their ‘captain’ and Sullivan –who still kept some distance from the group–, was there.
“Miller, if you’re here, who’s at the reception?” The female lieutenant asked, liking to know everything that happened in the station even if it was technically not her job anymore.
The muscular man turned to see the blonde as he took a seat next to Vic, his big smile fading slightly, fearing what his friend and superior might say. “Uh, there was no one around but I’ll just take my breakfast and go back.”
“You know you’re not supposed to leave the reception unattended. You can come have breakfast after everyone has finished and someone can cover for you.” Maya lectured him with a stern tone. She knew she was not captain anymore but she still had rank over everyone but Jack so she could lecture people as much as she wanted.
Dean’s expression fell even further. “C’mon, man, Pru was up all night crying with fever because she’s teething and I woke up late this morning so I couldn’t eat anything at home, I’m starving.”
Maya’s chin dropped as she sighed. She couldn’t say anything without sounding like an idiot now by bashing the single dad.
She lifted her face and locked eyes with Dean again. “The baby card won’t always work, Miller.” She warned him, grabbing her clipboard and turning around to go cover the reception, leaving the rest of the team to have breakfast.
Just as she was exiting the room, she could hear everyone starting talking about Pru, asking Miller how she was, saying how big she’s getting, how cute she is, etc., and Maya could not be happier to be going away. Don’t get her wrong, she loved Pru. Hell, she was the first person to ever hold her in her hands as she was born but the Olympian felt like the baby talk was chasing her, everywhere she went someone brought the topic up, and it was like she couldn’t outrun it. It was getting frustrating. Yes, she had agreed to think about it some more but she needed more time.
The lieutenant was halfway down the stairs when she noticed something in front of the reception desk.
A black duffle bag.
And a mysterious duffle bag left at the station could either mean a bomb or…
Maya felt terrible for wishing it was a bomb.
The blonde stopped in her tracks, just a few steps from the end of the stairs, bending down with narrowed eyes to look around the place, trying to see a person, anyone, who might have left the bag there but there was no one.
The lieutenant took the final steps down the stairs slowly and tiptoed around the bag to leave her clipboard on the reception’s desk and go to the door, checking if there was someone walking away from the station but the streets were empty.
She closed the door with a loud sigh, turning to face the mysterious bag. Maya nibbled the inside of her cheek before slowly crouching down, grabbing the zipper with the tips of her fingers and carefully opening the duffle.
The blonde squeezed her eyes tightly shut when she saw what was inside, cursing under her breath.
It was a sleeping baby.
“Just my luck.” She muttered, standing up to grab the radio sitting on the desk. “Miller, I need you downstairs, hurry.” She spoke into the device, her eyes never leaving the sleeping infant.
The radio chirped a few moments later. “I thought you would cover for me while I have breakfast, Bishop.” The man said from the beanery radio. “I’ve barely started on my bacon.” He said with a light tone, trying to convince his friend –and superior– to give him more time.
Maya rolled her eyes. It’s not that she wasn’t sympathetic of her friend but she was not in the mood to handle a baby. Miller was on desk duty so he was supposed to find the baby in the first place. “I don’t care, get your ass down here now.” She almost barked, a little more roughly than she intended but, oh well. “Please.” She added a moment later.
But apparently her voice tone was too loud and, paired with the chirping of the radio, the baby didn’t like it. The small child was starting to stir inside the bag, scrunching their little nose and moving their little arms as they started to whine softly.
Maya’s face twisted in panic immediately as she crouched down again, shaking her hands in front of herself. “No, no, no, no, please, don’t cry, please, don’t cry.”
But the baby’s quiet whimpers started to turn into wails the longer they went without attention.
The blonde had no other choice but the grab the child, carrying it by their armpits to get them out of the duffle bag.
The team came hurrying down the stairs when they heard the cries and found their former captain holding a baby at arms length as their little face turned red and Maya’s turned white.
The lieutenant turned to see her friends at the sound of their boots and scowled at them when she caught the hint of a smile on their lips. She quickly repositioned the baby in her hands, placing her left hand behind their hat covered head and neck for support, her arm under their back, and her right hand holding their legs but still kept the infant as far away from her body as possible.
Dean, who was front and center of the group, covered his smirk with a fist as he pretended to clear his throat. “Bishop, where did you get that baby from?”
Maya’s eyes bored into him and, if looks could kill, he would already be six feet under. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe someone dropped them off when you left to get breakfast, don’t you think?” The snark in her voice was as clear as day as she walked toward the stairs, making everyone back away one step. “Take the baby, Miller.”
Dean winced as he shook his head. “Maya, you see, I already had a screaming baby all night so I’m not looking forward to have another one while on the job.” He backed away one step more.
Maya took one step forward. “I’m not asking.” She said, her demeanor cold but the crying baby took away some of the usually scary effect. When Dean didn’t take the baby, she shifted her eyes to another person. “Montgomery.”
Travis scrunched up his face too. “You know I love babies, Maya, but I need to clean up the kitchen so…” she pointed to his back with a thumb over his shoulder as he climbed up the stairs backwards.
“Hughes.” The blonde kept insisting for someone to take the still screaming baby out of her tiring arms.
The woman let out a nervous little laugh. “I would, Bishop, I really would… but I don’t want to.”
“Somebody take this baby from me, that’s an order.” The blonde commanded, her patience almost at it’s limit.
“Order? Feeling like the captain again, are we, Bishop?” Beckett’s voice came from behind the group making everyone turn around to see him. His hair looked wet as he was probably getting out of the shower after his morning workout which he did while everyone else was having breakfast to avoid them.
Maya felt anger bubbling in her chest by his words. He loved to remind her she was not in charge anymore at every chance he got. “No, sir, I just need someone to take the baby.”
“No need for that, Bishop. As of right now, you’re on baby duty.” Beckett said with his signature patronizing tone as he flashes his stupid smirk and crossed his arms over his chest. “Make it stop crying.”
“But, captain –” Just as Maya was starting to rebuke, the room was bathed in red light as the alarm sounded loud.
“Engine 19, ladder 19, aid car 19, respond, structural fire on Boren Avenue.”
The blonde grunted before continuing speaking, “–, anybody else can take the baby, you need all your lieutenants at the scene.”
Most of 19 were already running to the barn to get into their gear but not Beckett, he stayed behind to taunt Maya a little more.
“We’ll be okay, Bishop, don’t worry. I bet your instincts will be put to better use here than on the field. Aren’t women supposed to be naturally good with babies?” Beckett patted Maya on the shoulder twice as he winked at her direction before turning around to head to the barn. “Take it as practice, you’ll thank me later!”
All the vehicles were out of the station less than a minute later, leaving Maya completely alone with the –still– crying baby. The blonde dropped her gaze to the floor in defeat while bringing the baby closer to her chest, resting their head just above her shoulder, in order to pat their back to try to get them to calm down. The cries started to subside a moment later and Maya was about to thank the heavens when she heard a burp and felt something wet on her shoulder. The baby had spit on her. “Great… just great.” She muttered through clenched teeth.
Keeping a firm grip on the baby, the blonde sat in the chair behind the reception’s desk and reached out for the phone to dial the number of the Department of Children and Family Services, making soothing noises as she waited.
“Hi, this is lieutenant Bishop from Seattle Fire Department, Station 19, we just had a baby dropped off here and I need you to send someone to pick them up.” She kept quiet as the person on the other side of the line spoke. Her eyes opened wide as she heard their words. “What? No one can come sooner? Two hours is too much, we’re a fire station, not a daycare.” Maya bit the inside of her cheek and gripped harder at the phone after saying that, she really wasn’t trying to sound like an asshole but the baby issue had her on edge. “Yes, I’ll wait, I’m sorry. Take however long you need. I’m sorry again, bye..” And with that, she hung up.
The blonde pinched the bridge of her nose between her pointer finger and thumb as she took a deep inhale through the nose, letting it out through the mouth, trying to get rid of some of the frustration building up in her body. She didn’t want to take it out on the innocent child who was not to blame for her personal issues.
Maya opened her eyes again and crooked there neck so she could see the baby resting on her chest who had, thankfully, stopped crying but still had tear tracks on their chubby cheeks. “I guess it’s just you and me, baby. I better give you a quick exam.”
The baby’s response was a quiet babble, followed by their little fist gently hitting the blonde on the chest.
The lieutenant, then, pushed herself to the other side of the reception still in the chair –which had wheels–, so she could grab the medical bag they kept there to check out the walk-ins. Apparently, the motion in the chair was something the baby found funny since they started laughing softly.
Maya did everything in her power to suppress the tiny smile that wanted to make it’s way to her lips, succeeding.
She grabbed the bag and stood up, hanging it from her free shoulder. Then, she walked to the other side of the desk to retrieve the duffle bag in which she found the baby, hoping that there were some of their stuff inside, at least some clothes. She reached for the bag, flexing her knees and keeping her back straight with a firm grip on the infant, and hung it on her shoulder as well, having both bags on her right and the baby on her left.
“Let’s go upstairs.” The blonde said while she placed her hand on the baby’s back, rubbing it up and down.
She took them to the locker room and entered one of the bunks, setting the bags down with a quiet thump. A second later, she set the baby on the bed and finally took a good look at them. They didn’t look to big, if Maya had to guess, she’d say the baby was a couple of months old –although she could be wrong, she was no expert. They had dark blue eyes framed by short lashes. Under the hat, she could see a hint of dark hair, dark brown or maybe black, she was not sure. And their skin was soft, maybe one or two tones darker than Maya’s own complexion.
The blonde sighed as she unbuttoned her shirt, removing her badge and bars and shoving them in her pocket before balling up the dirty uniform and tossing it in the direction of the washer. Once her hands were free, she patted the baby on the chest a few times. “Let’s make sure you’re okay.”
She grabbed the black duffle and starting rummaging through it, grateful that the person who left the baby thought about leaving some diapers, wipes and clothes even though they didn’t include any bottles so the baby could drink something. She pulled the diapers and wipes out, leaving them on the bed next to the baby’s head. Then, she grabbed the red medical bag, pulling the stethoscope out and hanging it around her neck before grabbing a pair of blue gloves.
Maya removed the small knitted hat from the baby’s little head and started to run her fingers through it, parting the short hair to make sure there were no bumps or cuts anywhere, inadvertently making the baby giggle again.
Once she was done with that, the blonde grabbed the penlight from the bag and flashed it on the child’s face for a second, making them scrunch up their little face as a whimper escaped their lips, moving their hands around to prevent Maya from doing that again, not that it worked. She only put the light away when she was happy with the pupillary response she got.
She tried to calm the baby again with soft pats on the chest paired with soothing sounds. “I had to do it, baby, I’m sorry.” She apologized as if the baby could understand her.
After that, she opened the yellow onesie keeping the baby covered and started to look for anything out of the ordinary but before she got too far with that task, she heard a fart followed by a horrible scent. The baby started laughing and clapping at the sound of his own flatulence.
“God damn it.” Maya grimaced, reaching for a clean diaper and wipes. “I though we were friends, baby, why do you do this to me?”
The baby just kept giggling.
The blonde looked at the ceiling before sighing again and then she proceeded to change the dirty diaper. “Oh, so you are a boy.” She commented as she grabbed his legs and lifted them, trying to wipe off as much poop as she could of his tiny butt before folding the diaper into itself. Then she grabbed the baby wipes to finish the job.
Once he was clean, and after a change of gloves, Maya though it would be a good idea to also change his clothes and clean his tears –and snot– smeared face. That seemed to get him in a better mood.
After all that, Maya finally got around put the stethoscope in her ears, rubbing the end of the device over her abdomen for a few moments so it wasn’t cold when she placed it on the child’s skin. Then, she leaned down, lifted the baby’s shirt and, after battling with him for a second –as he wanted to play with the stethoscope–, managed to press it against this chest.
His heartbeat was a little fast but nothing unusual for babies and children. She pressed the stethoscope on different areas to check his lungs as well, going back to his heart for a final listen and to confirm everything was alright. However, her eyebrows snapped together as she listened the sound of the baby’s little heart again. There was something different… maybe an arrhythmia?
A muscle in Maya’s jaw twitched as she moved the chest piece away from the baby, hanging the stethoscope around her neck again and sighing. She needed a second opinion.
The blonde removed the gloves from her hands, pulled her phone out of her pants and sat down next to the baby, placing a hand on his chest to make sure he wouldn’t roll off the bed.
“Hello, bambina, miss me already?” Carina greeted her wife as soon as she answered the phone while she walked the hallways of Grey Sloan on her way to her office after a consult.
Maya automatically smiled when she listened to her voice, loving the playful tone she had. “I’m always missing you.”
“So needy, bella.” The Italian husked, not bothering if any of her co-workers heard, never missing the chance to tease her lover.
The firefighter chuckled and felt a slight heat rush to her cheeks –and to other regions she would not admit– as she nibbled her lower lip. “Are you busy right now?” She asked, straight to the point. There was no point in denying her ‘neediness’ when it came to her wife.
“I can always spare a minute to talk to you.” The doctor said with a sweet voice, leaving the teasing behind, as she finally entered her office.
“I actually need more than a minute.” Maya said, turning her head to see the the baby boy trying to pull her silicone ring, scrunching her nose at that but not pulling her hand away.
“Ohhhh,” Carina prolonged the sound of the ‘o’ as she leaned back on her chair, a smirk growing on her lips, “is that type of call? We hadn’t had one of these since I went to Italy.”
The blonde almost choked on her own spit. “Carina!” She laughed, a little surprised by her wife’s train of thought. It’s true, they hadn’t had the need of having phone –or video call– sex since they got married, although a dirty text with a picture attached was not unusual. “It is not that, I promise. I need you in a professional capacity.”
A line appeared between the OB’s brows. Maya had her own gynecologist who she saw twice a year as every woman should and Carina didn’t like mixing business with pleasure. “Why would you –?”
Carina stopped herself mid question when she heard a baby’s chortle through the phone.
“Was that a baby?” She reformulated her question.
“That’s actually why I need you.” Maya began to explain, patting the baby on the chest again. “We got a safe surrender earlier and, as I was checking him, I think I heard something odd with his heart.” Her eyes dropped to see the smiling baby again as he was shaking his little hands and legs.
“Odd how? Babies heart rates are usually elevated since they’re so tiny.” Carina said as she straightened in her chair, entering full on doctor mode.
“Yeah but it still seemed unusual. Maybe like an arrhythmia… I’m not really sure.” The blonde shrugged to herself. “I know it’s not your area of expertise but, I thought you could come take a look at him? If you’re not busy, of course.”
Carina chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. “Well, I do have a ten o’clock appointment but I can ask Jo to cover for me.”
“Are you sure?” The firefighter asked, trapping her phone between her shoulder and ear to grab the baby –who was starting to fuss– and making him stand on her thighs.
“Yeah, I’ll talk to Bailey, it should be fine. I don’t have another appointment until after lunch so there shouldn’t be much trouble.” The doctor commented as she looked at her schedule in her computer, not being able to suppress the smile that grew on her lips at the sound of a baby and her wife’s voice on the other side of the line. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, bambina.”
Maya was making the baby bounce on her legs to keep him from crying, her features twisted with urgency to try to prevent that. “Thank you so much, babe. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” The Italian said as she set to look for her favorite resident before ending the call.
The firefighter simply crooked her neck to it’s natural position, letting the device fall from her shoulder to the bed. “You’re about to meet the prettiest doctor in the world, baby.”
But the baby didn’t seem to care about that and started crying louder than before.
Maya paled again as she grimaced, not sure what to do. “C’mon, don’t do this.” She said through gritted teeth, trying not to make the child bounce too hard but that didn’t help calm him. “What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…?” She said under her breath as she looked around the room for something to make him stop.
The blonde spotted the duffle bag where she had found the baby next to her feet and, wrapping one arm around the baby and making him sit on her lap so she could have a free hand, she set it next to her on the bed and started rummaging through it, praying there was something she missed the first time she looked inside, anything to distract the child but there was nothing, not a toy, not a pacifier –even if they’re technically bad for the baby’s teeth, she just needed it for a moment–, not a bottle, just… nothing, not even a note.
She let out a frustration sigh and grabbed her phone again, opening the texting app and typing a message for her wife, a little slow since she was doing it with one hand.
Maya – 09:27: could u bring some formula and a couple of bottles??
The little dots indicating the other person was typing a reply didn’t take long to appear.
Carina – 9:28: of course bella, anything else?
Maya – 9:28: no, we’re cool, thx [heart emoji]
Carina – 9:28: [blowing kiss emoji]
The firefighter would have smiled but the sudden wail next to her ear made her snap her head to the side, as far as she could from the noise. “Okay, okay, let’s go take a walk.” She grabbed the medical bag before standing up, taking some time zipping it one handed and crossed the strap over her chest, shifting the baby to her free shoulder as she exited the bunks.
The lieutenant made her way down the stairs patting the baby on the back, trying to sooth him to not avail. She walked to the turnout room and almost whispered her thanks to a superior being she was not sure she believed in when she saw one of the teddy bears they kept at the station on top of the rack with Larson’s name. She reached out for it and waved it in front of the infant. Last time she didn’t give in so easily to hand the baby the plush but that baby wasn’t destroying her eardrums with his cries.
“You want a teddy bear, baby? It’s yours, just, please, stop screaming.” Maya practically begged, caressing one of the baby’s arms with the bear’s face.
The cries started to die down gradually as the child inspected the teddy bear with glossy eyes. He was still whimpering slightly when he twisted his little body to the side so he could grab the stuffed animal with both hands. Maya’s features softened and she let out a long exhale in relief but it was short lived as the baby threw the teddy to the floor with as much strength as he could muster and started screaming again, his face turning red and twisting in displeasure.
The blonde tilted her head back, eyes squeezed shut and a deep frown on her lips, cursing Beckett in her mind for leaving her stuck on baby duty.
Maya got out of the turnout room, sticking with the technique of patting the baby’s back as she made soothing noises even if it had proven pointless so far –it was better than nothing–, and started walking around to see if the change of scenery helped.
It didn’t.
It was when she walked by the firefighter pole that the baby’s cries began to die down again, only slightly, as the shiny golden object seemed to caught his attention.
Maya noticed it and stepped closer to the pole, checking if that was really what he wanted. Shaky whimpers were still coming out of the child’s lips but nothing compared to the bellows from a few minutes ago. “You like that?” She asked, pointing at the pole before returning her hand to the boy’s back.
The baby turned his little face to look at the woman and then went back to the pole, reaching out with a hand as the other grabbed a fist of Maya’s crew shirt.
He was a few inches away from touching the pole when the blonde backed away, thinking it was not a good idea for a baby who constantly takes his hands to his mouth to touch an object with so many germs.
But the baby didn’t care about germs, he cared about grabbing shiny stuff and when the woman holding him denied him that, he immediately started screaming again.
Maya wanted to scream too.
How much longer would Carina take to get to the station? They were just three blocks away, that was a 10 minutes walk or a 2 minutes drive if she took her Porsche. Sure, her wife said she needed to talk to Bailey but that couldn’t have taken long, right? Yes, Maya was overanalyzing it but she was desperate at this point.
She started to look around for something else to distract the baby with but everything seemed too dirty or too dangerous for an infant.
Suddenly, the firefighter had an idea. She speed walked to the reception and sat down, medical bag on one knee and the baby on the other, and pulled out one glove from the red bag before swinging the strap over her head and drop the bag to the floor. She inflated the blue glove like a balloon and tied the end with a little difficulty as one of her arms was wrapped around the infant.
“Here, baby, take this.” The lieutenant gently pushed the glove in the kid’s direction for him to play.
It was better than anything else because it was clean, didn’t have sharp edges and it was medical grade latex to even if he chewed on it, it should be fine –although she definitely needed to keep an eye out for that, it was better if he didn’t put the glove in his mouth.
The baby hadn’t notice what Maya was doing with the glove before because he had his eyes closed as he cried hard but now that he opened them, he immediately wanted to grab ‘that blue thing’.
The blonde slummed back on the chair when the infant in her arms finally began to calm down. She sighed and watched the baby shake the globe from side to side for a moment before covering her face with a hand, pressing her fingers against her eyelids. Do people really do this on purpose? She asked to herself.
She was pulled out of her thoughts several moments later by the sound of the reception door opening, her lips immediately stretched into a wide grin at the sight of Carina. “Thank God you’re here.” But her smile only lasted until the baby hit her in the face with the glove. It didn’t hurt, of course, but it did wound her pride.
The Italian laughed at that, a dazzling smile adorning her lips as she observed her wife being attacked by a baby with a glove balloon. “I see you’re doing great with the bambino.”
“Please, take him.” Maya implored, standing up from the chair unconsciously patting the baby on the back as he continued to play with the glove, which proved to be a bad idea as it made him burp again, spitting over Maya’s shoulder like before.
Carina did her best to not laugh as the blonde winced, fisting one of her hands tight and loosening it as she let out an exhale through the mouth.
“You should have put a small towel or something on your shoulder to avoid getting spit on, bella.” The brunette said, trying to not sound like she was making fun Maya… not too much, at least.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” The blonde replied with a tight smile, not meaning to sound so rude but her frustration got the better of her. She sighed again. “I’m sorry, it’s just that this is not the first time he has spat on me.”
The doctor walked towards Maya, pushing a strand of her behind her ear, smiling when she leaned into her touch. “And you still didn’t think of the towel?”
At that, the blonde pulled away, pursing her lips. “Stop mocking me, he hadn’t stopped crying and I wasn’t really thinking about the details.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” The OB raised her hands apologetically with an easy smile on her face. “Now, can I kiss my wife hello?”
The lieutenant rolled her eyes playfully. “Yes, I guess you can.” She shrugged with fake reluctance.
Carina’s smile grew bigger as she got closer to the blonde again, taking her free hand –the other one was holding a bag with the formula and other stuff– to the back of Maya’s neck and pulling her in, pressing a chaste kiss on her lips.
“Are you going to introduce me?” The doctor’s eyes shifted to see the infant in Maya’s arms. He had started biting one of the inflated fingers, not paying attention to the women.
Seeing that, the blonde pulled it out of his mouth slowly, fearing he might start crying again but thankfully he didn’t. “Baby, this is Dr. Carina DeLuca, my wife.” She locked eyes with the Italian. “Carina, this is… baby.”
The brunette chuckled at Maya’s nervousness. “Nice to meet you, baby.” She placed a hand on the child’s back and got a chortle in response along with a drool covered glove being shaken in her direction.
The blonde noticed the sparkle in Carina’s eyes at the sight of the baby and felt something in the pit of her stomach, not sure if it was a good or a bad feeling. “Can you check him before he starts crying again?” She asked, adjusting her hold on the boy.
“Of course.” The doctor didn’t look away from him. “Do you want me to hold him?” She held her arms open.
“I wouldn’t want him to barf all over your jacket.” The firefighter joked as she turned to the reception’s desk to grab the controller that locked the door and securing the entrance. “Grab the medical bag?”
“Sure.” The Italian nodded, grabbing the red bag with her free hand and following Maya up the stairs.
They entered the locker room and then the bunk where the blonde had checked the baby earlier. She laid him down on the bed and moved to the side so Carina could be closer. “He looked fine when I did the exam. No bruises or cuts, no bumps, no scars, I’m just not sure about his heart.”
The OB left both the medical bag and the small brown bag with supplies she had brought on the floor next to the bed, removing her coat after. “Let’s take a listen, then.” She said as she grabbed a pair of gloves, but then she eyes her wife up and down. “Are you gonna change your shirt?”
The lieutenant folded her arms over her chest and smirked. “Why? Do you wanna see me half naked, doctor?”
Carina nibbled on her bottom lip, not at all against that idea. “I was just wondering if you needed help, you know? To not get spit all over you as you take it off.” She tried to play innocent.
Maya arched a challenging brow. “I am perfectly capable of doing that without help.” She uncrossed her arms, taking her left hand to the bottom of her right arm’s sleeve and pulling from it as she tucked her right arm inside the shirt. Then, it has her head’s turn, pulling the collar up and finally, and carefully, pulling from the left sleeve, removing the shirt from her torso without staining it –and herself– further.
Carina would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the view, specially the way Maya’s abs flexed. She was only brought back to reality when the baby kicked her leg and started fussing again. “I’ll check you out in just one second, bambino.” She said paired with shushing sounds, grabbing the stethoscope form the bag.
The blonde walked behind Carina, placing her hand on the small of her back as she passed by her on her way out of the bunk to go to the washing machine and put her dirty clothes inside but before starting the machine, she opened her locker to check if she had any more stuff to wash.
Meanwhile, Carina was already listening to the infant’s heart and lungs to check if Maya’s concerns were real or if she had just misheard –and she was even stealing a glance or two of her shirtless wife. The baby was moving around quite a bit, shaking his legs and playing with the glove so it made Carina’s task a tad more difficult but nothing she couldn’t handle.
A moment later, Maya entered the room again as she slid her arms inside the sleeves of her clean button up. “So, did you hear anything?”
The doctor moved the end of the stethoscope over the boy’s chest one last time before straightening up and put the instrument around her neck. “I heard a slight flutter so an arrhythmia is not out of the question, although he would need an EKG to confirm and see how bad it is.” She explained, removing her gloves. “I also noticed he feels a little bit warm. Did you check his temperature? Fever can cause arrhythmias.”
Maya clicked her tongue as she adjusted the collar of her shirt. “Crap, I forgot, I didn’t even think about it.” She reached inside the medical bag for the thermometer, handing it to the brunette.
Carina muttered a “Thank you,” and leaned down again to carefully insert the end of the thermometer in the baby’s ear. The device dinged and she looked at the tiny screen. “101.2. It’s not that bad but it’s something.” She gave the thermometer back to Maya who cleaned it with an alcohol wipe and put it inside the bag again.
“I’ll let the social worker know when they come get him.” The blonde commented as she pinned her badge into her uniform.
“I don’t mind sticking around to tell them myself, bella.” Carina said with a flirty smile, starting to button up the firefighter’s shirt and gently caressing her abdomen over her crew shirt as she went up –in reality she wanted to do the opposite but the rational part of her brain reminded her that there was a child present.
“They’re taking their sweet time to come, I don’t want Bailey to be mad at you for taking too long.” Maya slid a hand inside her pocket to pull out her rank bars and extended it towards Carina.
The Italian got the hint, grabbing the small metal bars. “I told you I don’t have to be back until after lunch.” She placed a finger underneath Maya’s chin to make her tilt her head back so she had better access –and view– to her neck.
The blonde raised her left hand to look at her watch. It wasn’t even 10 am yet and if DCFS stuck to their word, they should be at the station before midday. “Alright. I would love the company.” She looked into Carina’s eyes and they both smiled.
The brunette smoothed Maya’s collar once she finished pinning the bars and leaned into her, kissing her lips softly and only for a short moment. The blonde was about to pull her in again when the baby in the bed started fussing again, wanting the adults’ attention.
Maya sighed, tucking her shirts inside her pants, as Carina turned to grab the baby –not without grabbing a small towel from the black duffle bag first to place over her shoulder– and started to comfort him as she hummed an Italian lullaby.
“He must be hungry, let’s go fix him a bottle.” The OB signaled with her head at the bag she brought so Maya could grab it and both made their way go the beanery.
The beanery was a mess, as the team had been called mid breakfast. Plates with scrambled eggs and bacon were half eaten on the table and counter was dirty as well since Travis didn’t have time to clean up. The couple would have to work around the mess.
Maya set the brown bag on the counter, pushing some stuff out of the way, and pulled out the formula and the bottles as Carina tried to keep the baby calm but his annoyance kept growing, shown by his pout and the angry way in which he was shaking the glove around.
The blonde the poured some water on a glass and put it in the microwave, dialing 45 seconds on it.
“What are you doing?” Asked Carina.
Maya’s eyes went from Carina to the microwave and back to Carina and the baby. “Uh, heating some water for the baby…?”
“Not like that, bella. Here, take him.” The Italian walked to Maya and handed him the baby again but on the exchange, the boy dropped his balloon/glove.
Both woman saw the glove fall, Maya almost felt like she was watching it in slow motion, and then they looked at the baby as his little brain took in what had happened. The tragedy. His face twisted and the crying followed half a second later.
The blonde started to bounce the baby in her arms again. “Can you hurry?” Maya urged the other woman as she rubbed the boy’s back up and down.
The doctor immediately grabbed one of the bottle she had bought and quickly washed it before pouring fresh water into it, add the formula and shake it vigorously. Then, she grabbed a bowl and filled it with warm tap water and placed the bottle inside.
“Now what?” Maya asked, seeing Carina didn’t do anything else.
“Now we wait.” The brunette said, grabbing the formula and setting it next to the bottle to have it ready.
The blonde’s forehead furrowed. “For how long?” She questioned, still trying –and failing– to get the baby to stop screaming.
Carina, on the other hand, had started to tidy up the kitchen a little. “Just a few minutes for the formula to get a little warm.”
“The microwave can do that in seconds.” The firefighter pointed out the obvious, a little irritated for having to hear the baby screaming for longer than she had to.
“The microwave creates hot spots which can be dangerous, bambina. This way is better, safer. We don’t want it to be too hot or it could burn the baby’s mouth.” Carina said as she continued to clean.
Maya could feel the beginning of a headache behind her eyes by both the screaming baby on her ear and by how little she knew about babies. She was not mother material at all.
A few minutes later, the kitchen was less messy than before and the formula was warm enough, so Carina offered the bottle to Maya. “Here, it’s ready.”
The firefighter swiftly shifted the baby in her arms, holding his entire body with one arm as she grabbed the bottle with her free hand, brushing the nipple over his gums. The baby took in the familiar feeling and closed his lips around the nipple, starting to suckle right away.
The blonde almost felt like crying from happiness by the quietness of the room.
The Italian grabbed some tissue paper and cleaned the baby’s little face carefully as it was raw from crying so much. Then, the brushed a lock of brown hair from his forehead and caressed the bridge of his nose. As she did that, Maya’s eyes were focused on her.
“Let’s go to the lounge, my arm is getting a little tired.” The lieutenant said, bursting Carina’s bubble.
The brunette looked up to her wife and smiled at her. “Andiamo.”
The couple settled on the couch, Maya in the middle and Carina next to her, on the side where the baby laid on the blonde’s chest. After lifting his head a little to put the towel between him and Maya, the brunette wrapped her arm around her wife, basically cuddling her as she fed the baby, mesmerized by the sight.
The firefighter couldn’t stop herself from leaning into her, both for physical and emotional comfort.
The Italian started to hum that lullaby again as she gently ran her fingertips on the baby’s hair, her free hand drawing circles on Maya’s shoulder with her nail. The baby fell asleep a little later, having drank almost the entire bottle, unconsciously still sucking for a second when Maya pulled the bottle away.
“Here.” Carina carefully moved from Maya’s side to grab the bottle and set it on the small coffee table.
The firefighter rolled her neck, she was growing stiff but she didn’t want to risk waking the baby, but when she looked up, she saw that glimmer in Carina’s eyes again. The blonde bit her tongue and looked down. “Can you stop?”
The Italian’s brows knitted as she sat down next to Maya again. “Stop what?”
“Looking at me like that.” She faced Carina for a moment before her eyes darted away. “You’re basically the heart eyes emoji right now.” She tried to lighten the mood she herself had ruined.
“Maya…”
“I know you want this.” The firefighter gathered the courage to lock eyes with Carina again, crooking her neck to do so. “You see this and you’re imagining it’s our family. You’re imagining that this baby is ours and you feel hope and love and… and…” She opened and closed her mouth, trying to get the words out. “And I feel pressured.” She finally confessed, hating the way Carina’s features twisted in sorrow.
“Maya, I’m sorry, I never –” The ob started saying, shaking her head and looking at her lap before Maya interrupted her.
“I know you didn’t mean to, I’m not blaming you, I’m just telling you this is the way I feel with this situation.” The blonde reassured her wife, stretching her free arm as far as she could to grab one of her hands. “Look at me, please.” She squeezed her hand until their eyes met again. “I love you, Carina. I love you and I want to make you happy so much that it hurts that I can’t. Not yet, not about this.”
Maya shifted in her seat –slowly to not wake the baby– so she was facing the brunette without turning her head. Carina was looking at her with a slight frown but open to listen. “It’s only been a week since we agreed I would think about having kids so I still don’t know, okay? But I can feel you waiting for an answer, waiting for me to change my mind and it’s too much.” She shrugged. “I’m really grateful you came to help me with this but I can practically see it all over your face and I don’t know what to do.” She admitted to Carina.
The doctor placed her other hand on top of Maya’s and squeezed it the same way Maya was doing to hers. “You don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry I’m making you feel this way, I didn’t consider your feelings and that was not okay, I should’ve paid more attention.”
Maya looked at their joined hands, chewing on her bottom lip. “Don’t apologize… this situation is just…” she sighed for the millionth time, “there’s no one to blame so it’s hard to know where to put our feelings.”
They remained in silence for several minutes until Carina spoke again. “I said I would give you time and I meant it but… this is not something I can put aside and not think about it until you’re ready.” Her mouth twitched and her gaze remained low. “I see moms and babies all day, every day at work so it’s hard for me to distance myself from that thought and seeing you with this baby made it tangible I guess…” She exhaled loudly. “It was never my intention to pressure you, I just want you to really consider it.”
“I get it, I really do but…” She clicked her tongue. “It’s like baby talk has been chasing me and I feel suffocated.” The baby moved a bit in Maya’s arms and she had to let go of Carina’s hands to give him soft pats on the stomach. “This was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
The brunette chuckled at the blonde’s words, nodding slowly, glancing up to her eyes. “Come here.”
The corners of the firefighter’s lips quirked up slightly as she shifted once again to lean against her lover, feeling her arms around her and her warmth against her back. The atmosphere was a little heavy but that didn’t mean they were angry at each other, they just didn’t know how to handle the situation very well.
“I just don’t want you to hate me.” Maya blurted out.
“What?” Carina immediately questioned. “Maya, why would you think that?”
“During last shift we helped a man that got drunk and then got stuck on the doggie door of his back entrance.”
The Italian snorted. “Oh my god.”
The blonde chuckled too. “Yeah, it was ridiculous… and his wife was angry at him, yelling and mocking the poor man.” She kept quiet for a moment. “He got drunk because his wife hated him and his wife hated him because they never had kids.” A deep exhale escaped her lungs. “At first, neither wanted kids but then she changed her mind and he didn’t know because he didn’t pay attention to her and so… the marriage began to crumble until the point where they were so stuck they had to call the fire department to cut them out.”
Carina tightened her grip around Maya and pressed a kiss to her head. “I could never hate you, Maya. I couldn’t, even if I tried… and I did try once.”
Those words felt like a punch to the gut for the younger woman because she knew exactly what Carina meant. “When I cheated on you.”
“When you cheated on me.” The doctor confirmed. “I wanted to hate you, I wanted to forget about you, about your kisses and your touch, I wanted it all gone… but I couldn’t because my love for you was already so strong, even if we hadn’t said it yet.”
The brunette nuzzled the back of Maya’s head. “And my love for you now is even stronger… fiercer. Nothing could make me hate you, certainly not this. And I don’t mind waiting for you to be ready, if you ever are.”
“But look at today, I’ve been freaking out all morning with this baby.” The blonde mumbled. “I don’t dislike kids but when they start screaming and kicking, it’s easier to walk away and let their parents handle them, I’m not sure if I can be the mother of the screaming and kicking child.” She whispered almost bordering hysteria.
“I have no problem calming our screaming and kicking child.” Carina tilted her head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of Maya’s face.
The firefighter shook her head. “That’s not the point, Carina. I don’t want to say yes to have a baby just because and leave you to do all the stuff I don’t want to, that’s not parenthood. We’re supposed to be partners. Equals.”
The OB kissed the side of Maya’s head again. “Agreed.”
“I don’t want you to resent me for not giving you children but I also don’t want to give them to you to make you happy and end up resenting them for interfering with my career or myself for doing everything wrong.” The firefighter’s voice broke and tears started rolling down her cheeks.
Carina’s heart shattered by the sound of Maya’s quiet sobs. “I will never resent you, Maya, I already told you my love for you is so strong. Having kids with you would make me happy, yes, but that’s not worth it if you’re not. You are enough for me, Maya, whether we have babies or not, you are more than enough to make me happy.”
“I am?” The blonde asked in a whisper, biting her quivering lip.
“You are.” The Italian reassured her, brushing her nose against her ear. “You are brilliant, kindhearted, beautiful woman and I’m so lucky to call you my wife.”
Maya smile. “I should be the one saying that. I married the most patient, understanding, caring woman in the world.”
“Then, I guess we’re both very lucky, right?”
“Yes.” Maya simply said, cuddling further into Carina’s side.
“And that worry you mentioned, about doing everything wrong? That’s what’s going to make sure you don’t because you care about doing it right.” Carina assured the blonde. “It doesn’t have to be perfect but as long as you do it with love, it will be okay. If we ever become mothers, I have no doubt you’ll be great at it.”
The firefighter just listened to the words, wanting to believe them.
The atmosphere was ten times lighter than before. The couple sat there, in comfortable silence, enjoying the quiet moment. Carina could almost swear Maya fell asleep on her if it wasn’t for the hold on the baby, which never wavered. It wasn’t much later that there was a knock on the reception’s door which made them react.
“It must be the social worker.” The lieutenant said, sitting up straight. “Can you hold the baby? I want to splash some water on my face, I’m sure I look like a mess.”
Carina grabbed the baby careful to not disturb his sleep, and smiled at Maya. “I’ll go grab the duffle bag, he had some clothes there.”
The firefighter nodded before sprinting in direction to the shower, the brunette close behind but taking a turn to the bunks. They met by the entrance of the locker room and walked down the stairs side by side.
Maya quickly grabbed the remote and unlocked the door, the social worker entering right away. “Hi, I’m Amanda Shay with the Department of Children and Family Services.” She pointed at her name badge and then held out a hand to the firefighter, who immediately shook it.
“I’m lieutenant Maya Bishop and this is my wife, Dr. Carina DeLuca.” She motioned at the brunette with her hand.
“Hello.” Carina smiled at the dark haired woman.
“A doctor, huh?” The social worker’s eyes shifted between the people present. “Is everything alright with the little guy over here?” She asked, walking closer to the Italian.
“Overall, he looks good. He’s about 3 months old and doesn’t present any sign of negligence but I heard a slight arrhythmia. It’s nothing to be alarmed yet but it would be best if he got an electrocardiogram soon. And he has a slight fever.” The OB explained, looking at the sleeping baby.
“Okay, I’m gonna take note on that.” Amanda said, pulling out a form from her bag and walking to the reception desk to start filling it. “Could you two sign this to have record of the examination and the pick up of the baby, please?”
“Sure.” Maya said, giving the form a quick read –never sign without reading– before signing her name at the bottom of the paper.
Carina handed Amanda the duffle bag before doing the same as Maya, grateful that the baby was resting over her left arm and not on her right.
Amanda put the form away and then held out both hands for the brunette to give her the infant. “I hope this little fella didn’t cause you much trouble, I came as soon as I could.” She said once the baby was on her arms.
The blonde resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “It was fine.” She lied with a fake smile, joining her hands behind her back.
The social worker smiled back at the firefighter, none the wiser. “Thank you for taking care of him, lieutenant, and thank you, Dr. DeLuca for the check up. We wouldn’t want to miss something like that.”
“It was our pleasure to help.” Carina said with a hand on her chest.
The woman nodded for the last time at both women and said her goodbyes before exiting the station.
Maya’s lungs deflated as she sighed in relief at finally being free of baby duty. “I can’t believe how mentally drained I am and my shift is just starting.” She said, glancing up to the ceiling.
The OB approached her wife, resting her hands on her hips and bringing her closer to her body. “You seem to need a little stress reliever.”
The firefighter arched an eyebrow. “You want to have sex after I cried all over you? My face must be all puffy.” She argued.
Carina shook her head and lifted one of her hands to Maya’s face, caressing her cheekbone. “I don’t see it. You look beautiful.”
The firefighter couldn’t resist her wife’s words, leaning into her and stealing a kiss from her lips. “You’re a charmer, did you know?”
The Italian smirked against her lips. “Oh, am I?” She returned her hand to Maya’s hip and started pulling her as she walked backwards. The blonde nodded. “Well, let’s see how well my words work, then.” She took one of her hands back and grabbed the knob of the captain’s office door, twisting it open.
The lieutenant hesitated for a moment. “Carina, we shouldn’t…”
The brunette kissed her again and then brushed her lips from her mouth to her ear. “You promised me, remember?”
Maya closed her eyes as she remembered their encounter on the showers a week ago. She did promise Carina that and she was a woman of her word. “Okay, but we have to be careful.”
The OB’s grin couldn’t get any bigger. “He won’t even know we were here.” She purred, finally pulling Maya all the way inside the office and closing the door behind them.