Work Text:
Jin clicked record on the camera and smiled widely. “2014, September 13, dawn, Jin and…”
There was a small pause before a sleepy Namjoon spoke up. “Rap Monster…”
“Log!” Finished the singer.
“Hasn’t it been a while since we’ve done a log?” Continued the eldest.
“It’s been about 3 months. 2 or 3 months? Maybe?” Added the rapper.
“Anyways, today was—wait, no—not today, because it’s already dawn. But yesterday was our leader’s, Rap Monster’s, birthday.”
“Yay!!!” They both cheered happily.
“Wow, this person—” Started Jin, but was interrupted by Namjoon.
“Honestly, there was nothing really different.”
“Right?” Laughed the singer. It seemed like the older one got the less special birthdays became.
“Jin hyung didn’t even make me Miyeokguk.” Pouted the rapper.
Jin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “This is a misunderstanding.” He tiredly explained to the camera.
The two of them had gotten into a huge argument yesterday because of this, but Jin thought they had worked it out, so it upset him a little that Namjoon was bringing it up again.
“What happen was—”
“Why didn’t you cook it for me?” RM Interrupted again.
Jin took a deep breath to calm himself down. He tried to keep the smile on his face as he felt a twinge of anger.
One of the singer’s pet peeves was being interrupted, he absolutely hated when people spoke when he spoke. And Namjoon’s accusing tone did not help qualm the annoyance that was rising in his chest.
Jin closed his eyes for a second before opening them and trying to explain himself again.
“No, it’s not like that. 2 hours—”
“Ahhhh” Began yelling the younger member as he pretended to cry, cutting Jin off.
To the audience it looked like Namjoon was being cute and playful, but Jin knew the rapper was doing this on purpose to annoy him.
“I didn’t even get to sleep for two hours.” Calmly informed Jin as he spoke directly to the camera, ignoring the “crying” male.
“I wanted to cook Miyeokguk. I love cooking Miyeokguk for all our members. And I especially wanted to cook it for our hard working Namjoon—”
“This is favoritism! This is discrimination!”
Jin sighed again and tried to stay calm, he could not lose his cool in front of the camera.
“It’s not favoritism.” He mumbled.
“This is unavoidable. This principle—well it’s not really a principle— but anyways, whatever it is, it’s absurd!”
“Let me explain,” Said the singer before Namjoon could continue. “The schedule from Thursday to Friday was too packed. My sleep time was honestly only 2 hours, but I didn’t even get to sleep for the full two hours—”
“This makes me feel sorry for you.” Replied the leader in a blank tone.
“—And if I stayed up all night cooking you Miyeokguk it would have hindered our broadcasts.”
Namjoon began fake crying again, but then stopped after a few seconds.
“You’re right. Honestly, it’s okay. I don’t think eating Miyeokguk on my birthday is that meaningful anyways.”
Jin looked at him with a sad frown, he was not convinced that the younger male actually meant what he said.
“I really did want to make it for you.” He tried to reassure. “But we only had seaweed and I can’t make Miyeokguk without the beef. I would have needed to go shopping to buy the beef and all the other ingredients. That would have taken about 40 minutes, then I would have needed to stay up all night making it—”
“It’s okay. Life is like that sometimes.” Dismissed Namjoon in a emotionless tone, but Jin still wasn’t convinced. The eldest could tell that the rapper was hurt even if he was trying to hide it.
“Jimin’s birthday is next, are you gonna make it for him?”
Jin took a deep breath and though about the question. “I will need to check our schedules. If we have about a 5-hour gap in the day, I can make it for him.”
“I think that would be a good idea.” Mumbled Namjoon. Although he didn’t get Miyeokguk, he didn’t want Jimin to feel the same disappointment that he did.
“Alright, I’ll think about it.”
“Really though.”
Jin smiled into the camera and quickly changed the subject.
“Anyways, this time around, during Rap Monster’s birthday we had our fanmeeting. It was a mini fanmeeting with army. I had lots of fun…”
The two continued on with there log and after a few more minutes and a quick farewell, Jin clicked the stop button and ended the recording.
He exhaled sorrowfully and look at Namjoon. “I really am sor—”
“It’s fine, hyung. I don’t care.” Cut off the rapper before putting on his head phones and clicking open many different music programs on the computer.
The rapper looked away from his hyung and kept his eyes glued on the screen in front of him. Jin wanted to say something else, but instead he stood up from the chair and left the rapper alone. Maybe giving him some space would help calm the leader.
Once the singer was gone, Namjoon took off his headphones and looked blankly at the closed door. He could feel a heaviness growing in his heart. He didn’t want his hyung to leave him alone, he wished that Jin would have pulled him into a hug or something. He was really craving his hyung’s attention right now.
Lately the rapper felt like his hyung didn’t care about him, he tried to tell himself it wasn’t true and that Jin really did care for him. But when Jin didn’t make him the Miyeokguk on his birthday, the feeling of being unloved only grew stronger.
The eldest had gotten up really early and made it for Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jungkook on their birthdays. And to know that he was planning to make it for Jimin and probably Taehyung too only hurt Namjoon more.
Of course he wanted the two younger singers to get some Miyeokguk, he didn’t want them to feel hurt like he did, but he still felt jealous that all of them would get miyeokguk except him. Was he not special enough? Did he not deserve miyeokguk?
He began to recall all the times his hyung had put him last and it only made the sad feeling inside of him grow even bigger.
He remembered one time before they debuted Yoongi and him were both pulling all nighters in the studio together, when suddenly Jin had come down, dragged Yoongi out of the studio, and forced him to go home to sleep and eat.
However, all he told Namjoon was ‘be home soon’ then he left with the eldest rapper and left Namjoon all alone in the studio. Namjoon remembered how mad Yoongi was at Jin for forcing him to leave, and he also remembered how he had wished that Jin had done the same to him.
While the leader sat alone in the studio, he couldn’t help but feel like Jin didn’t care enough about him to drag him out and force him to sleep too. He thought maybe Yoongi was more important to Jin than he was.
But little did Namjoon know that Yoongi had already pulled two all nighters the days before, so Jin was more concerned about the eldest rapper’s well being than Namjoon’s because the youngest rapper was only spending his first all nighter that night.
Jin also trusted Namjoon to eat proper meals, drink plenty of water, and take many breaks, while he didn’t trust Yoongi to the same.
Yoongi always lacked in caring for himself, so Jin always felt like it was his responsibility to take extra care of his oldest dongsaeng, while he thought of Namjoon as a highly responsible person who he could rely on to take care of himself and others.
But since Namjoon didn’t know this, it felt like his hyung had chosen Yoongi over him, and that hurt him a lot.
The rapper put his head phones back on and and began playing random music on his playlist as he leaned back in his chair.
He didn’t know why he was feeling extra sensitive lately, but he couldn’t stop the hurt and sadness that swelled up in his chest.
Tears began to fill his eyes as flashes of Jin loving and caring for the rest of the members and not him flashed through his mind. He wished Jin would hug him like he did with Jungkook, or fuss over him like he did with Jimin, or even tickle him like he did with Taehyung.
He tried to be strong and blink the tears away, but the sad music playing on his computer didn’t help his sad mood. Before he knew it his tears were falling down and running down his face. And soon the rapper was a sobbing mess as he buried his head in his folded arms on the top of his desk.
He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, but by the time his tears finally stopped his head hurt, his body ached, and his eyes were puffy.
The entire room was pitch black aside from the small light coming from his buzzing phone.
The rapper looked down at the phone and saw Jin calling. He ignored it and looked at the black computer screen. The rapper suddenly realized his music had stopped playing so he wiggled the mouse that was connected to the computer, turning it back on, and noticed that the computer had automatically turned off once his playlist had ended.
Namjoon stood up from his chair and switched on the lights to the room before sitting back down. He exited out of his playlist and went back to the music programs that he had open.
His phone began to ring again and Namjoon rolled his eyes in annoyance before grabbing it. He frowned when he saw Yoongi calling this time. He sighed and answer the phone.
“What do you want?!” He snapped. He knew it wasn’t Yoongi’s fault that Jin liked him better, but he couldn’t stop the jealousy and anger that filled his heart
Although Namjoon couldn’t see him, Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and gaped down at the phone before clearing his throat.
“Uh, I was just calling because you’re not answering any of hyung’s calls and we’re starting to get very worried about you.”
“Yeah, sure you are.” Sarcastically replied the younger rapper.
There was a moment of silence before Yoongi spoke up again.
“Namjoonie, is everything okay? You seem a little upset.”
“Everything is peachy.” Spit the leader.
There was another moment of silence as Yoongi tried to figure what was wrong with his dongsaeng.
He knew the leader and Jin had an argument yesterday, but everything seemed fine when they went to sleep. Jin had even told him in the morning that he and Namjoon were doing a vlog together. So he didn’t know what could be causing Namjoon’s bad attitude.
“O-okay, well I just wanted to let you know that hyung just finished cooking dinner and he wants you to come home to eat.”
“Whatever, can you hang up now?! I have work I need to do.”
“Namjoon-ah, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me.”
“And I don’t appreciate you wasting my time so bye.”
Namjoon hung up his phone before Yoongi could say anything else. The rapper looked down at his phone screen and saw the 15 miss calls he had from Jin and a few messages the eldest had send him. He open the texts and began reading them.
Jin: Hey, love! What do you want for dinner? I’ll make you whatever you want!
1:32pm
Jin: I’m on my way to the grocery store to buy the ingredients for dinner, so I’ll appreciate it if you’ll tell me what you want.
2:03pm
Jin: Did you want me to make you Miyeokguk? I know it’s not the same as eating it on your birthday, but it’ll still taste good.
2:15pm
Jin: since you’re not answering I’m just going to assume you want Miyeokguk. I’m about to leave the grocery store so if you want something particular you have five minutes to answer.
2:31pm
Jin: I guess we’re having Miyeokguk for dinner.
2:45pm
Jin: dinner is almost ready. Can you come home soon?
5:44pm
Jin: Joonie, when are you coming home?
6:01pm
Jin: Dinner is ready. We’re waiting to eat with you, so when are you coming?
6:02pm
Jin: Namjoon-ah, can you please answer me?
6:03pm
Jin: Namjoon! Hello?!
6:04pm
Jin: Is everything alright?
6:05pm
Jin: You better not be ignoring me on purpose!
6:05pm
Jin: Joon-ah, I’m getting worried. Can you at least answer so I know you’re alive?
6:06pm
Once he finished reading all the text, Namjoon closed the tab and place his phone down on the desk.
He put his headphones back on and began working on a beat. The last thing he wanted to do was go home so he could see how much Jin loved everyone except him.
He had been working for about two hours when the door to the studio suddenly opened.
The rapper looked up and saw Jungkook walking in with a plastic bag.
The furry inside the rapper suddenly filled his body.
Jungkook and his birthday were only a week and a half away from each other, so it felt especially cruel that the maknae got Miyeokguk and he didn’t. What made Jungkook’s birthday more special than his?
Maybe it was because the maknae was Jin’s favorite, it was clear to see. Jin didn’t even try to hide his favoritism.
*Must be nice to be loved by hyung* bitterly thought Namjoon to himself.
“Hey, hyung!” Cheerfully greeted the youngest as he skipped over to the rapper.
“Go away, I’m busy.” Muttered Namjoon without looking up from the computer.
Jungkook instantly frowned as he sadly placed the plastic bag on the desk.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you. Jin hyung just asked me to bring this over to you so you can eat dinner.” Shyly responded the maknae.
“Wow, he didn’t even care enough to do it himself.” Whispered Namjoon under his breath.
“What was that hyung? I didn’t quite catch that.” Asked the youngest.
“It’s nothing. Just go away now.”
Jungkook swallowed thickly as he tried to push down his hurt feelings. He had been so excited to come see Namjoon, the rapper was a huge inspiration to him. So when Jin was packing the leader some dinner, Jungkook had immediately jumped on the opportunity to spend time with his rap hyung and had begged Jin to let him deliver the food himself. He was hoping he could stay and watch Namjoon work for a little bit, maybe even help a little, but the leader’s attitude had been an unexpected turn of events.
The maknae looked over at the door than back at Namjoon, but the rapper only gave him an impatient look that said ‘are you leaving yet.’
The youngest member sadly turned around to walk out of the room, but then he hesitantly turned back to look at the leader.
“H-Hyungie are you okay? I couldn’t help but notice that your eyes are a little puffy, did you want to talk about it?”
Namjoon clenched his jaw tightly and glared at the youngest. “Go away Jungkook.” He growled in a low tone.
“But hyung, I don’t think you should be alone right now. Maybe you should come home or I can stay here.”
Jungkook took a step forward with his arms stretch outwards ready to hug Namjoon, but the rapper shoved him away.
“Go away Jungkook!!! What about ‘go away’ do you not understand!!” Scream the leader.
Jungkook flinched in fear and instantly backed away from the angry man.
“I’m sorry.” He whimpered in a small shaky voice before running towards the door.
Namjoon quickly stood up from his chair and stretched his arm towards the youngest
“Wait! Kookie, I’m—”
Namjoon’s words were cut off by the door slamming in his face.
“Sorry.” Finished the leader with a whimper as tears filled his own eyes. He didn’t mean to upset Jungkook.
The look of pure sadness written all over the youngest’s face had broken the leader’s heart. He didn’t mean to explode on his sweet innocent maknae. He didn’t mean to make him sad. The anger was just pounding in his head, making him blind to everything else around him.
Namjoon collapsed on the couch in the corner of the room and began sobbing for the second time that day. He was a monster, he was a terrible person. Jungkookie didn’t deserve to be yelled at, he was only trying to help the rapper.
Namjoon didn’t deserve Jungkook’s kindness, no wonder Jin didn’t care about him. He didn’t deserve his hyung’s love.
Namjoon must have cried himself to sleep because next thing he knows he’s being woken up by someone shaking his shoulder.
The rapper slowly peeled open his eyes, which was very difficult to do by how swollen they’ve gotten from all the crying. But once they were open Namjoon looked up and saw Jin standing above him looking very annoyed and irritated, but also sad and concerned.
The leader groaned and tried to close his eyes again. But Jin smacked the side of his thigh, making the rapper yelp in pain.
“Stand up Namjoon-ah!” Commanded the eldest. “Save your work and gather all your things, we’re going home.”
Jin’s tone of voice told Namjoon he was not allowed to refuse, so the rapper reluctantly peeled himself off the couch and did what he was told.
Jin look down disapprovingly at the untouched container of food and sent Namjoon a glare.
Once the rapper gather all his things (including the Miyeokguk) the two left the room.
Jin marched down the hallways all the way to the parking garage while Namjoon quietly followed along. The leader could tell Jin was furious, the man practically had flames shooting out of his eyes, so Namjoon ducked his head in shame and tried his best to keep up. He didn’t even bother saying anything in fear of angering Jin even more. And it wasn’t like Jin was in a talkative mood either.
The eldest didn’t say a single word until they arrived at their car. Once both doors were shut Jin turned and looked at Namjoon.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?!” He scolded.
The rapper looked down at his lap. “I don’t know hyung, I haven’t had a chance to check.” He said sheepishly.
Jin rolled his eyes as he put on his seatbelt and turned on the car. When the car roared to life Namjoon saw the clock blink on to say 3:45 am. The rapper gasped and quickly pulled out his phone to check if the clock was right.
He gasped again when he saw the same time on his phone along with 50 miss calls from Jin and over 100 messages.
“I seriously don’t understand why you own a phone if you aren’t going to use it!” Chastised the eldest as he pulled out of the parking garage. “A text letting me know that you were fine would have been appreciated. I was worried sick about you!”
Namjoon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. *Whatever, you’re probably just mad that I upset your precious maknae. I bet if Jungkookie didn’t go home crying you wouldn’t even have cared where I was.*
The rapper turned and looked out the window with a sulky expression.
Jin looked over at Namjoon and sighed. They sat in silence for the rest of the trip. But Luckily, it wasn’t too long of a drive and soon they arrived home. Jin parked the car and got out while Namjoon followed him. They made their way up to their apartment and walked in.
“Go get ready for bed, we’ll talk in the morning.” Muttered Jin while comfortingly rubbing Namjoon’s shoulder.
The rapper shrugged the eldest’s hand off of him and made his way to the bedroom.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He growled before walking into their shared bedroom and closing the door.
Jin sagged his shoulders in defeat and frowned sadly. He locked the front door and made sure all the lights were off before making his way to the bedroom as well.
When he walked in he saw that Namjoon was already curled up in a ball on his bed, fast asleep like the others. Jin quickly checked to make sure everyone was sleeping peacefully before crawling into his own bed and hoping to get a few hours of sleep.
The next morning the rest of the members were gathered around the dining table in the kitchen, eating the breakfast that Jin had made them while Namjoon continued to sleep.
“I’ve already texted manager-nim and let him know that me and Namjoon will be showing up later on in the day and he said it was fine, but you guys need to hurry up and finish eating before you’re late.” Informed Jin as he picked up a few empty plates on the table.
“Is hyung in trouble?” Asked Jungkook as he poked the half eaten food on his plate.
Everyone at the table already knew about the incident that happened yesterday between Jungkook and Namjoon, where the rapper had yelled at the maknae.
Jungkook had come home bawling his eyes out and it took a while to get him to calm down. Once he did calm down and was able to explain what happen, Jin looked furious. So it upset that maknae to think that Namjoon was in trouble because of him.
“That’s none of your concern Jungkook-ah.” Softly scolded the eldest.
“Yes it is! Please don’t be mad at him because he yelled at me. It was all my fault. He told me to leave, but I didn’t listen. If I had listened he would have never yelled. If you wanna be mad at someone be mad at me. I disobeyed a direct order given to me by my hyung, I deserve to be in trouble, not him.”
Jin smirked in amusement as he ran his fingers through Jungkook’s hair.
“I’m not mad at him for yelling at you, love. I’m not happy about it, but it’s not the main reason I’m upset. I just need to have a quick word with him about some issues that don’t concern you.” Jin gave Jungkook a look that said drop the subject, so even though Jungkook wanted to protest, he sighed defeatedly and got up to finish getting ready.
“Okay guys, y’all have to leave, it’s getting late.” Called Jin.
“Yoongi-yah, please get them out of the apartment.” Sternly said the eldest. “You still need to drop Jungkook off at school, and if he’s late one more time, you and me will be having a talk later on because it does not make sense why he’s always late whenever you take him to school.”
Yoongi stood you from his seat and rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault hyung, he’s the one who walks slow.” Pouted the rapper before walking towards the front door.
“Hey! I heard that.” Shouted Jungkook from the living room.
But he didn’t dare say anything else in fear of exposing their secret. Little did Jin know that Jungkook always managed to convince Yoongi to take him to buy coffee before school, and if Jin found out they would both be in huge trouble.
Buying coffee before school was not on their budget, but Yoongi always managed to sneak a few extra bucks into his pocket to buy it for Jungkook. They didn’t have a lot of money, so they needed to be extra careful with how they spent it. But Yoongi always tried his best to give Jungkook anything that the maknae wanted. And besides, what Jin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
“Let’s go guys!” Shouted Yoongi. Taehyung and Jimin were the first ones at the door next to Yoongi, Hoseok was the next to walked up, and finally Jungkook.
“Hoseokie you take Jiminie and Taehyungie to the dance studio, while I take Jungkook to school. I’ll meet you guys down there later.”
Hoseok gave a quick nod and opened the door. “Come on guys.” He said as he walked out.
Although they had a car, it was only allowed to be used for emergencies, so they all usually walked to their studio. It was only a 20 minute walk to the big hit building, and it was only a 30 minute walk to Jungkook’s school, so they were easy trips to make.
“Bye, guys! Have a good day!” Yelled Jin from the doorway as he watched his dongsaengs walk down the side walk.
Once they were out of view, Jin shut the door and went to the kitchen to clean up the mess from breakfast.
When everything was nice and clean Jin decided it was time to have his talk with Namjoon so he walked over to the bedroom and opened the door. He smiled warmly as the rapper’s snores filled the entire room.
“Namjoonie, wake up my love.” He hummed softly as bent down and sat on the edge of the lower bunk bed.
“Joonie.” He said a little louder at the same time as he gently rubbed the rapper’s back.
Namjoon began to stir awake, he rolled over on his back and looked up.
“Hyung?” He said in confusion as he sat up and looked around. “Where are the others?”
“They left already, but we need to have a talk before we go meet up with them.” Jin put on a serious face and gave Namjoon a stern look.
The eldest stood up off the bed and looked down at Namjoon.
The rapper swung his legs over the edge of the bed so he was sitting up straight as he looked up at Jin.
“Is this because I yelled at Jungkook?” He asked shyly. “Because I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t mean to make him cry.” Sadly said the leader as he remembered the maknae’s sad face.
“This is not about you yelling at Jungkook, well I mean it’s not the the entire reason, but it is part of it. Yoongi also mentioned how you were disrespectful to him when he called you.”
Namjoon groaned, he forgot about that.
“I know you were upset yesterday and I know that was my fault, so I apologize. But you had no right to treat Yoongi and Jungkook the way you did.”
“I know hyung. Can we just get this over with?”
Jin cocked his head to the side in confusion “Get what over with?”
“The spanking. You are going to spank me, right?”
The eldest gaped down at Namjoon and silently stared at him before slowly nodding his head. “Yes, I am.”
The rapper felt his heart stop in fear. Even though he already knew he was going to be spanked, hearing it out loud made his anxiety shoot up.
“Okay then.” He whispered nervously. “Let’s just get it over with. Where do you want me?”
Jin was very confused, none of his dongsaengs had ever been this straightforward with their punishments. They usually always pleaded a little, maybe begged, some of them cried, but none of them had ever accepted their punishment right off the bat with no complaint.
The eldest looked down at the small wrinkles of anger forming on Namjoon’s forehead and frowned. He reached his hand out and softly cupped the rapper’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over the smooth surface, but Namjoon flinched away from his touch, furrowing his eyebrows even more to make his anger more apparent.
“Where do you want me?” Repeated the leader in an annoyed voice.
Jin sighed and set Namjoon with a very stern glare.
“Namjoon-ah, before we continue any further I need you to tell me why you’re getting punished.” Firmly stated the eldest.
Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Because I hurt your precious dongsaengs.” He snapped “Can you spank me now so we can move on with our lives.”
Jin’s mouth fell open in shock. “Sweetheart, you “hurting my dongsaengs” is not the main reason why you are receiving this punishment. Although I am not happy about the disrespectful way you treated Yoongi and Jungkook, the main reason I’m upset is because of the way you treated yourself. You were being very neglectful of your own health. You barley touched your breakfast yesterday morning, and I know you skipped lunch, then I was extremely disappointed to see you didn’t even eat your dinner. Did you seriously go all day without eating? And how many cups of water did you drink yesterday? When I was in your studio I didn’t see a single bottle of water, not even a cup. Did you even drink any water? And not to mention how you locked yourself in your studio all day long. I was at least happy to see you asleep and not over working yourself, but you still shouldn’t have been out that late. And even if you were going to stay at the studio last night, you should have called me and let me know. I couldn’t sleep, I was scared something terrible happened to you. You went the whole day ignoring my calls and texts, so I didn’t even know if you were okay. Do you know how terrifying that was for me? If it wasn’t for Yoongi and Jungkook who let me know that you were at least still alive, I would have lost my mind. Your well-being is my number one priority, Namjoon. It is never okay to neglect yourself.”
“Whatever hyung! Stop trying to justify your actions! We both know you don’t really care about my well-being! You just need an excuse to beat my ass because I hurt your “babies!”” Namjoon said the last part in a mocking tone. “I bet if Jungkook never went home crying you would have never come down to the studio to get me. You probably didn’t even care where I was as long as I wasn’t home with you guys!”
“Namjoon-ah!” Gasped Jin. “How can you even say that?!”
“You don’t care about me, you never have and you never will! And I’m okay with that, because I know that not everyone in this world will like me and I can’t force them to. But what I’m not okay with is you lying to my face like I’m a naive child! So stop pretending to care about me!”
Suddenly Jin swung his hand through the air and collided it with Namjoon’s left cheek. The rapper let out a loud gasp of shock as he lifted his hands to cradle his burning cheek.
Jin was very careful with how he hit Namjoon. He didn’t slap him as hard as he would have if Namjoon was getting smart or disrespectful. This slap was not meant to be a punishment, it was suppose to ground Namjoon and pull him out of whatever mental break down he was having. The slap was just hard enough to leave a small sting behind, forcing Namjoon to focus on the present.
“Listen to me sweetheart.” Spoke Jin in a slow and calm voice. He crouched down so he was at eye level with the rapper.
“I don’t want to hear you say those words again. None of that is true. I do care about you Joon-ah, more than you could ever imagine. I don’t know who told you otherwise, but they are the ones lying to you. I love you with all my heart, you’re very precious to me, you all are.”
Jin squeeze Namjoon’s cheeks between his hands and pulled him forward so their foreheads were touching.
“I love you so very much.” Repeated Jin, making sure his dongsaeng heard him.
Tears began to stream down the rapper’s face as he focused on his hyung’s voice. He wanted to stay mad, but the singer’s voice was so soothing and comforting. It was hard not to believe him.
“B-but…but.” Croaked Namjoon but then stopped himself.
“But what, sweetheart? It’s okay, you can tell me, hyungie won’t get mad.”
Namjoon closed his eyes as he felt the tears fall faster.
“B-but why did you make Miyeokguk for Jungkookie, but not for me.” Namjoon’s soft cries quickly turned to loud sobs as he fell into his hyung’s arms and clung on like his life depended on it.
Jin let out an exhausted breath and held Namjoon close to his chest. He had already explained himself multiple times, but clearly this was something that was really tearing Namjoon up inside. So even though it felt repetitive, Jin didn’t mind explaining himself again as long as it helped reassure Namjoon that he was loved.
“My love,” hummed Jin with all the patience of the world as he gently scratched his nails against the rapper’s scalp. “I wanted nothing more than to make Miyeokguk for you, but we didn’t have any time. I would have made it for you without hesitation if I could, but our schedule was crazy busy. I couldn’t even find time for a five minute break. I’m also very disappointed in myself for not making it for you. Nothing makes me happier than cooking Miyeokguk for you guys on your birthday, so it breaks my heart that I’ve failed you. But I’m only one person and as much as I hate to admit it, the truth is I can’t always do everything I want to do. I tried to make up for it by making you Miyeokguk yesterday—”
“By it’s not the same.” Cried the rapper.
“I know, love, I know.” Agreed Jin as he hushed Namjoon’s sobs.
“I know it’s not the same, but I was really trying my best. I really wanted to make Miyeokguk for you even if it wasn’t for your birthday. But don’t you dare think for a second I didn’t make it for you because I don’t care about you or your birthday. You are one of the most important people in my life and your health and happiness will always be my priority. I worry about you getting enough nutrients and vitamins, I worry about you drinking enough water, I worry about you getting enough sleep, I worry about you getting hurt, I worry about you getting sick, I worry about you being sad, and I worry about you being stressed. I worry about you because I care about you, do you understand?”
Namjoon gave a small nod as he snuggled deeper into Jin’s shoulder. The eldest smiled warmly and placed a kiss on top of the leader’s head.
“And because I care about you so much I can’t let your behavior go unpunished.” Added Jin after a few seconds.
Namjoon groaned loudly as he pulled away from his hyung and stared at him with a small pout and big puppy dog eyes.
Jin smirked as he booped the rapper’s nose. “Those eyes don’t work on me anymore.” Joked the eldest, but both Jin and Namjoon knew he was bluffing.
“Come on, love. I believe you were the one who said, let’s get this over with.” Jin patted Namjoon’s thigh a few times before standing up from his crouched position.
The rapper let out a grunt of annoyance, but he stood up and waited for Jin’s next move.
The eldest walked over to Jungkook’s unbunked bed and sat on it, he motioned Namjoon over to him and once the rapper was close enough the singer grabbed his wrists and pulled him over his lap.
Namjoon was very tall and barley fit on Jin’s lap, but the eldest still managed to hold him in place.
Jin began rubbing circles around the leader’s back as he look down at him.
“Why are you being punished, love?” Asked the eldest.
Namjoon’s face began to glow with a light pink blush, he found the question to be a little embarrassing.
“I’m being punished because my behavior was unacceptable,” He mumbled. “I was very disrespectful towards you, Yoongi hyung and Jungkookie. I ignored all your messages and calls when you were very worried about me and I also made Kookie cry. But most importantly, I was very neglectful of my health and well-being, which is never okay.”
“Good job, love.” Praised Jin as he gave Namjoon’s back one more rub. “And can you tell me why I’m punishing you.”
Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Didn’t I just answer that?”
“No, sweetheart. You answered why you are being punished, but now I need you to answer why am I the one punishing you?”
The leader was silent as he concentrated on the question. “Is it b-because you care about me?” He said nervously.
“Yes, love!” Beamed Jin. “As much as it pains me to punish you, I do it because I love and care about you. Okay?”
Namjoon felt his heart warm up, and a small smile began to pull at the corners of his lips. It made him happy to hear Jin say that he cared about him.
“Okay love, I’m going to begin now.” Announced the singer.
Suddenly reality came crashing back and Namjoon’s little heart immediately sunk to the pit of his stomach. Nevertheless, he nodded his head in understanding and hid his face into the crook of his arm.
Jin wrapped one arm around the leader’s waist and lifted his other hand in the air before swinging it down a second later, hitting Namjoon on the back of his bare thigh.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
The rapper whimpered in pain, instantly regretting that he only wore boxers and a t-shirt to sleep
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Aside from small moans of pain and muffled yelps, the leader was doing his best to be quiet. He wanted to take his punishment with dignity.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
But of course, Jin’s heavy hand was making it difficult.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Jin made sure to paint each thigh a dark crimson color before moving on to the crease were the thighs met the butt.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
The eldest was spanking in a steady even rhythm, alternating from left to right.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
He tried to make his hits as predictable as possible because he knew it helped ease some of Namjoon’s nerves.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
In the past the singer had discovered that the rapper did not react well when a spanking had an unpredictable pattern. It only caused the leader more distress, causing the younger member to have an anxiety attack.
However, knowing the pattern and being able to predict the next hit gave the rapper some peace of mind.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Namjoon wiggled around restlessly, trying to dodge the hits. But Jin only tighten his hold on the rapper and continued without a single pause.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Small sniffles could be heard coming from the younger male. Plus his shoulders were also shaking, letting Jin know that he was crying.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Not much later, the small sniffles turned to shaky sobs.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
“We’re almost done.” Encouraged Jin when Namjoon began chocking on one of his sobs.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
The rapper’s cries were getting louder by the second. He didn’t care about being quiet anymore. It was too exhausting holding everything in.
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
Jin landed two last smacks on each cheek then stopped the spanking.
“We’re done, love.” He cooed as he reached down and lifted Namjoon to sit on his lap.
The rapper winced in pain as his backside came into contact with Jin’s lap, but he instantly buried himself into the crook of Jin’s neck and hugged the singer close. Jin protectively wrapped his own arms around the leader and began rocking him back and forth.
Namjoon was just slightly taller than Jin, making their position just a little bit awkward, but neither of them mind.
The eldest only whispered comforting reassurances of being loved and cared for as he continued to rock the rapper.
They stayed like that until Namjoon’s sobs became distant sniffles.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Asked Jin after a while of sitting in silence.
Namjoon nodded his head before slowly peeling himself away from his hyung.
Jin cooed softly and began to gently wipe away the tear streaks on the rapper’s cheeks.
“We’re picking Jungkook up from school today and then heading to the studio, but Jungkook doesn’t get out for another couple of hours so we have some free time.” Informed the eldest. “Did you want to use that time to watch a movie and eat some of the leftover Miyeokguk?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Agreed Namjoon as he smiled at his hyung.
“Okay, good. Why don’t you go choose a movie for us to watch, while I warm up the Miyeokguk.”
Namjoon excitedly stood off of his hyung’s lap and ran to the living room. There was a new crab documentary that he has been dying to watch, but every time he tried to watch it the other members would complain that it was too boring, so he always ended up turning it off to make them happy.
After a few minutes Jin walked into the living room with two bowls of Miyeokguk. He handed one bowl to the rapper, who happily accepted it, and then sat down next to Namjoon.
The leader scooted closer to his hyung so they were practically sitting on top of each other before pushing play on the documentary.
They silently ate as they watched the movie and once they finished the food they placed the dirty dishes on the coffee table and cuddled close to each other.
Jin paid close attention to the documentary and even eagerly listened to Namjoon tell him about all the fun facts he knew about crabs.
Namjoon was basically vibrating with excitement at the opportunity to share his crab knowledge with his hyung. And the smile on the rapper’s face made it all worth it.
Jin would gladly watch crab documentaries with Namjoon everyday for the rest of his life if it meant the rapper would always be this happy.
Jin never wanted to see any pain or sadness on his dongsaeng’s face again.