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G’raha was in the middle of a conversation with Alphinaud when he heard Tataru’s wavering voice pierce through the Rising Stones.
“What ?! What happened? Is she alright?” He looked over to her, the letter she had been holding was now a crumpled mess in her hand and she looked over to them and he met her tear filled eyes, his stomach filling with dread.
“Tataru? What has happened?” Alphinaud was the first one to speak up and turned to face her, his voice filled with worry.
“I-It’s R’enlan...she...they’ve taken her to Doma-...” she sobbed and clutched on the back of the chair she was standing on, unable to continue and Alphinaud rushed to her.
G’raha stood there frozen in place as he listened to the two talk. Tataru explained what had happened and with every word, panic rose higher and higher in his chest. It had only been a few days since he received the letter from her, about the situation in Bozja, the resistance had been gaining a strong foothold at the time and they were confident in their progress.
But hearing Tataru report that R’enlan was found barely alive and alone on the battlefield by Cid, all rational thought left his mind and recklessly drew on every drop of anima within his body to teleport to the place the two of them visited together not that long ago, the Doman Enclave.
Last thing he saw before being pulled into the aetheric stream was Alphinaud calling out to him.
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He had to catch himself when he hit solid ground within the Enclave. He was accustomed to teleporting yes, but not half way across the planet and it drained him terribly, causing him to stumble slightly.
It took him a few moments to regain his composure, barely noticing someone rushing to him while calling his name.
“G’raha?” The short redheaded au ra woman stopped in front of him, it was Mao Oro, a friend of R’enlan from Doma.
“Where is she?” It was the first time he spoke since he heard the news, his voice shaking, giving away the fear that was threatening to overwhelm him.
“She is in the Kienkan, Hien called for the most capable healers in Doma, they are tending to her as we speak.'' He looked down at the shorter woman, her eyes were still swollen from crying.
“I have to see her.” he moved to rush past her but Mao grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
“The healers must not be interrupted.” her head was lowered, turned away from him and her voice shaking.
“I could help them!” he argued, trying to pull his arm from hers, only causing her to grip tighter. “Let me go!” he snapped at her.
She finally met his furious gaze, rivalling it and snapped back.
“G’raha, you were not here when they brought her here aboard that airship! You did not see the state she was in! I was there when she was cut down by Zenos in Ghimlyt, and that was nothing in comparison to the state she is in now! By all accounts she should not even be breathing! And do you even hope to achieve in your current state?! A blind person could see how excessively drained you are after that teleport! You would only be a hindrance to the healers!”
He knew it wasn’t on purpose because she possibly couldn’t know, but bringing up the life threatening situation he was largely to blame for struck a nerve. He yanked his arm out of her grasp and ran.
It was a stormy day in Doma, the fates really were playing with him this day as his heavy footsteps hit the cobbled road leading towards the Kienkan, the guards focusing on him when he fast approached.
“Let me pass!” he demanded, but the guard did not move..
“You are a stranger in these lands, and you will not enter Lord Hien’s residence uninvited!” the guard barked at him.
G’raha had every intention of arguing back but suddenly the feeling of exhaustion overwhelmed him, the strength in his legs started to abandon him when he suddenly felt someone support him, steadying him.
“Lady Mao!” The guard quickly straightened himself and bowed respectfully to her.
G’raha felt immense shame in this moment, he knew he would not be getting in there without her aid, and he had been an arse to her, he was not the only one here worried for R’enlan, Mao was one of her closest friends.
“I’m sorry…” he said in a low voice and hung his head in shame.
“He’s with me, let him pass.” She ordered the guard and led them to a quiet seating area.
He had not been in this part of the Kienkan before, it was fitting for the Lord and Lady of Doma. But admiring the Far Eastern aesthetic was not in the forefront of his mind at this moment.
He was struggling to keep focus, he had overdone it, exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him, but he had to endure, for her.
“You should rest, G’raha...I promise I will notify you when there is news…” she placed a friendly hand on his shoulder but he shook his head.
“No...I must see her…” he looked pleadingly at her.
“I am sorry but that is not possible, the healers must not be interrupted.” she replied with a sigh. “They are doing everything they can for her…”
He hated the wait, the silence, the unknown, he had to know what happened so he cleared his throat before speaking.
“What happened?” his voice was weak.
“They do not know, Cid Garlond found her on the field, only thing they could tell from her wounds was that it was something massive and with immense firepower. Only she can tell us...if she wakes up.” Mao looked away with a heavy sigh.
It took him a moment to realize what she had just said.
“...If?” his eyes widened in fear, staring at her.
“I’m not going to lie to you G’raha, she was barely breathing when Cid found her, they are doing everything they can.” She reached over to put her hand on his shoulder but he dashed from his seat and sprinted into the hallway.
He ignored Mao’s shouts from behind him, determined to find her, he had to find her.
He almost ran face first into the Lord of Doma himself when he dashed around the corner.
“Ho there!” Hien placed his arm in front of G’raha, halting him in his tracks.
“Please, I must see her!” he pleaded.
Hien stared at him for a moment before looking at Mao, giving her a somber smile before turning his gaze back to G’raha.
“On one condition.” G’raha’s ears shot up. “You must not get in the way of the healers and you must be prepared, because it is not a pretty sight in there.”
He took a deep, shaky breath and nodded at Hien, who then beckoned him to follow and led him down the hallway until they reached their destination.
“Are you absolutely certain?” Hien questioned him one last time.
“Yes...please.” he pleaded, never taking his eyes off the door that now separated them.
G’raha pushed the door aside and what greeted him was utter chaos.
People were rushing back and forth, bloodied gauzes littered the floor around the small group of healers that surrounded a bed.
There was so much blood.
He was absolutely frozen in his tracks when he finally managed to catch a glimpse of her. Color completely drained from her skin, dried blood tangled in her hair, eyes sunken in. She looked like a barely breathing corpse. His inner turmoil was overwhelming, he struggled keeping his eyes on the horrific state she was in, but he did not want to tear his eyes off of her if this was to be the last time he saw her alive.
One of the healers spotted them and rushed over, their clothing drenched in her blood.
He wanted to throw up.
“My lord! You should not be in here!” the healer tried to usher them out of the room but Hien spoke up.
“I apologize, we only wish to know the progress, we do not wish to interrupt for far too long.” The healer opened their mouth to respond but the sudden panicked shout from one of the healers interrupted.
“We’re losing her!”
The healer rushed back, leaving them stunned and afraid for her life.
“G’raha…” Mao tugged on his arm, her voice wrought with fear.
It felt like an anvil was crushing on his chest and he couldn’t breath.
She was dying. And there was nothing he could do about it.
“G’raha!” she shook his arm, trying to shake him out of his stupor.
He had so many plans with her, they were going to write a new future together, a long future.
Mao was not getting any response from him and looked worried at Hien, looking pleadingly at him for help.
They had finally mended their broken relationship fully and taken it further than it was before, before he left her...and now she was leaving him .
His body finally gave up from exhaustion as a dizzy spell hit him, causing the world to go dark around him.
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He did not remember how he got there, but he was laying on top of an extremely comfortable futon when he regained consciousness.
What had happened? Why was he in Doma?
Then it hit him. Hard.
R’enlan bloodied body filled his mind, the bloody gauzes littered around the room, the frantic shouting of the healers.
We’re losing her!
That was the last thing he remembered before passing out and the horror dawned upon him. She was on her deathbed and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.
He was helpless, useless and unworthy.
His body felt ten times heavier and numb when he pushed himself up in a seating position, his hair falling in front of his crimson eyes.
And for the first time since he heard the news, he wept.
Wept for the times he abandoned her, lied to her, kept secrets from her, and put her life in danger. And still, still she stuck by him somehow. She loved him despite all of his horrible flaws and mistakes. He had traversed the rift to prevent her death, but he could not stop whatever Garlean machinery that did this to her.
He had always been unworthy of her. But he loved her more than anything and would happily trade places so she would have lived.
Barely paying attention to his surroundings, he pushed himself off of the ground, struggling with balance he stumbled towards a nearby desk.
He saw some of his belongings there, his staff and satchel had been one of them and…
Her glasses.
They were in pieces, utterly shattered, as if hit by a massive blow.
If it had not been for him, she would not need to wear them, but the light corruption damaged her eyesight. What if she had lost focus in battle because of it…?
With a shaky hand he picked up the spectacles, there were blood splatters on them, her blood.
Was he an indirect factor in her demise…?
He was about to have another breakdown when a familiar but pained groan reached his ears and he almost lost his footing when he spun around on the spot.
He stopped breathing when he saw her stirring form on a futon next to the one he had previously been unconscious on.
“R...Raha…”, her eyes were still closed as she called out his name, her voice filled with fear, she was dreaming.
He sprinted towards her and sat down next to her, carefully taking her bandaged hand into his.
“I’m here Enlan!” His voice was raspy from crying before, he was afraid to shake her awake from her dream until he heard her breathing quicken, it was a nightmare.
He used his free hand to gently shake her shoulder, hoping she would wake, but she let out another pained groan, causing him to cease instantly.
“Enlan, it is only a dream.” he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, which seemed to have calmed her down for now.
He sat there in silence, never letting go of her hand, never taking his eyes off of her, as if she’d disappear if he did. He could easily tell that a majority of her body was bandaged up when he took a proper look at her, her face was badly beaten up, a nasty blackeye had already formed and there was a cut from the corner of her eye and leading into her hairline that had been healed well enough not to leave a scar, but the placement of it made his mind race once more.
What if he was actually an indirect factor in this…?
He lost track of time how long he sat there, just watching her, he didn’t even know how long he had been unconscious before. He felt his eyes grow heavier and sleep threatened to take over him, only to be jolted wide awake at the sound of a familiar voice.
“...Raha?” her voice was weak and heavy with exhaustion.
He almost started to weep on the spot with joy when he met her eyes.
“You are finally awake…” he sighed with relief, gently caressing her hand he still held.
“W...Where am I? I uh...I was in Zadnor was I not?” She tried to look around the room, but it was already dimly lit and gave away very little.
“We’re in Doma, the Enclave to be precise. Cid found you on the battlefield and brought you here aboard the Enterprise.”
He could almost see the cogwheels turning in her head in confusion before she spoke up again.
“I...Cid? I do not remember seeing him there...I just remember getting absolutely clobbered and then-...” she winced in pain and clenched down on his hand, a cry escaped her and a tear trailed down the side of her face.
G’raha almost panicked and with his free hand channeled healing magic towards her, hoping to ease her pain. And it seemed to have helped when her breathing began to steady once more and she opened her eyes again.
“Please rest, Enlan, you can recount the events later.” she only answered him with a pained hum and looked up at him.
“You look like shit…” she blurted out, “You look like you have not slept in a week.”
“You should not be worrying about me, I believed you to be dead until just now, not a feeling I wish to experience again.”
“I’m sorry…” her voice was low and weak, she turned her head away.
“Please, do not apologize, the fact you still live is enough for now.” he gave her a somber smile.
His words did not reassure her, fear rose in his chest when he heard her take a short and hallowed breath.
“I...I am so sorry…” her voice was wavering and her shoulders started to tremble.
He let go of her hand when he realized what was going on and moved to cup either side of her face, gently turning her to face him once more.
She was crying.
She never cried. Not openly at least.
He had only seen her cry twice, first time when he was locking himself away within the Crystal Tower, and the second time when his body was being claimed by the tower itself.
Only when she thought she’d never see him again.
He wanted to pull her into his arms so badly but did not want to risk her wounds, so he laid down on the floor beside her, taking her hand into his once more.
“They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die…” she sucked in a shaky breath before continuing. “But I saw the future I want to have with you, and I was about to lose it…”
“Enlan-...” he began, but she interrupted him.
“Raha...the life I lead has no future...I am only a weapon to be used...I only bring pain to those closest to me...and I have hurt you, you deserve someone so much better than me…”
There it was again, she had always questioned her worth as a person and viewed herself only as a weapon to be aimed at a target, not a person with feelings and aspirations of her own. He always had to remind her, to flush those doubts out. She had also been like this when he first met her all those years ago and he had been the first one she ever confided in about those feelings.
“Shut up. Please, just shut up.” he pleaded, he hated seeing her go through this circle of self doubt once more. “I will not sit idly by and let you bring yourself down again and again with these thoughts. Because you are worthy of so much more than most and people do take you for granted, yes, but you are too damn selfless for your own good, and honestly I wish you could just sometimes be selfish and say ‘no’ for once.”
She stared at him in semi-disbelief, and then it dawned on him. He had never told her to shut up before.
“Wicket white, I-I am so sorry! I should have not said that!” he started to panic slightly and his reaction brought the most beautiful sound he had heard since he heard the news of her injuries.
She was laughing. And it was infectious.
“Gods...I love you Enlan, please do not scare me like that again…” he locked his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand gently.
She gave him a sad smile. “You know I cannot promise that, Raha.”
He knew it and she was right, neither one of them could make that promise in their line of work.
“Then...promise me that you will continue to fight to survive.”
“That is a promise I can make, only if you would promise so in return.” she smiled at him and he nodded.
He felt the weight on his chest completely dissipate from before and pushed himself on to his elbows and hovered over her for a moment. Even with her battered appearance, he was in awe of her beauty.
“I love you Raha…” she simply stated, and yawned as her eyes started to droop slightly from exhaustion.
He leaned down and pressed his lips gently on hers before laying down next to her once more.
They both knew she had a long way to recovery, and he had every intention to be by her side every step of the way.