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It had been four years, four months, three weeks, one day, five hours, 46 minutes and 40 seconds since he’d last left her. Watching as the NERO chopper ascended to the sky, and then to what he presumed to be her ultimate quietus.
Not that he’d been counting.. not anymore. The indefatigable voice that chased tails around his prefrontal cortex had finally quieted down, or perhaps maybe it too had finally surrendered to rationality. He was stubbornly tenacious to the bone, but even the strongest man’s spirit will crumble when presented with the barbarity the world had become.
Yet rapture was soon bestowed back upon him, taking form of a drifter woman who helped to relight the flame that had long since burned out. As they stood, his face cradled between her calloused palms, her stare filled with nothing but commendation, he could feel his chest bloom with yearning.
“Do you trust me?”
The inquiry caused a sudden, melodious sound, much to his brief hesitation. A foolish question, no doubt. She’d followed him through the darkest hours, had fought side by side while the odds stacked against them, and had even pulled him out from his own personal self-destruction. There was never any question when it came to her reliance and devotion, Deacon knew this.
“Of course I do.”
“Ride with me then?”
Oh. Relinquishing control hadn’t exactly been her strong suit, and has since remained the forefront of some of their finest contentions. In a world filled to the brim with unpredictability, sometimes the meek grasp of control was enough of a vail to believe you had some decision over your own becoming. This went in hand with her number one rule of always riding solo.
Though as her fingers traced down his shoulder to grasp his bicep, she felt no discomfiture as she slid onto the bike behind him. Her lips turned upwards as they brushed against the curve of his shoulder as she encircled his midriff. They’d never been quite this close before, it felt almost.. intimate. As they rode into the evening-tide, she made certain to savor the emotion.
“We’re here.”
In the wake of the fleeting sun, the sky became similar to that of an artisan’s pallet; colored in varying shades of scarlet, amber, and violet. Its focal point a vast expanse of river, fed from its neighboring tributaries. The view was magnificent, and it made her heart ache in the most ample way that opportunities to appreciate what beauty left in the world often came few and far between.
Though to reminisce on such things hadn’t been Deacon’s intention, and as he slipped his hand into hers, all those heavy thoughts slipped away. Perhaps now tucked somewhere away in between those shades of amber and violet, she thought, turning to smile as Deacon gazed off into the distance.
It was a long moment before either had dared to speak, but she swore she’d never seen a man look so content amongst a world collapsed. Like he’d finally ascended the hellacious world, and had been graced with a true sense of serenity. She found herself almost trickling with envy, until a just a few moments after.
“Why’d you want to bring me here, Deacon?” The question prompted another moment of silence, as if he’d been gathering his thoughts before he spoke.
“This.. this place, it’s something special to me. I’d come here to get away from everything, from everyone. And, before you say anything, I know it’s weird, but the freaks.. they don’t come here, either. No one does. It’s like having my own world, I can just escape off to. I brought you here,” He gave a gentle squeeze of her hand, slowly pulling her in close to him. She took note of the way her body seemed to fit just right into his own, like she belonged there. “because you’re special to me, too. And I.. I just wanted you to know that.”
He was the epitome of nothing but sincere in the moment, but she felt the irresistible urge to tease the man. Something that bubbled in her belly anytime she felt it was her turn to pull back the cover, and open all the vulnerable places.
“That sounds completely trite, you know that?” His laugh eased her tension, soothing her core as she beamed up at him.
“Yeah, yeah. Well, trite, whatever— it’s still true.”
“Oh, Deek..”
The words bubbled just beyond the surface, threatening to pour just as she hesitated. Would it be fair, telling him? She had been gone for some time now, and he’d since left those late, quiet nights behind them. Healing wasn’t linear, but then again, since when was this?
The palm of her hand slid against his chest as she slowly arched, her head tilting to the heavens as her lips parted. He followed suit, as if caught in her own pull, leaning into her just as she spoke.
“I love you.. I just wanted you to know that.” His eyes closed as their lips brushed, and in the moment it finally started to feel as if his journey had come to its cessation. The ache in his bones seemed to settle, and after so long of feeling like he’d been treading deep water, it was like he could breathe with ease once more. Though as he finally parted from her, he was left only to be greeted by ghosts of past tense, spilling open into empty spaces and hollow crevices of what was once a man.
His arms, once full and encircled around life, were now void. A cold chill ran down his frame as the realization slowly dawned upon him that it had been that way for some time. This life was a race never won, and everyone had since returned home, leaving him to chasing tails of the dogma.
Later in the night, he’d lost track of the days gone. It all ceased to matter after his world faded to black; shades of cerise decorating the night, only briefly illuminated by the muzzle flash of a once cherished six-shooter as a once familiar voice sang alongside the whispering wind.
“So dawn goes down today,
Nothing gold can stay..”