Chapter Text
Hinata and Kageyama had just finished having a celebratory graduation dinner with the other third years. They had left the other three -- Yachi, Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi, back at the restaurant and were headed to their respective homes. Hinata would be leaving the following morning for Brazil.
Their walk was quiet, each lost in his own thoughts. Kageyama was heartbroken that Hinata was leaving, for no one even knew how long, to go halfway across the world. But the problem was, Kageyama had never told Hinata how he felt. That he loved him. That Hinata was the most important person in his life. That the thought of him leaving made Kageyama feel like crying.
He could say it. He could say everything he wanted to say tonight. And maybe he should. Otherwise, Hinata would leave and Kageyama would be left wondering what it would have been like. He was debating. But they were almost to his house and he was running out of time.
Part of him wanted more than anything to pour out his heart to his partner. But part of him knew that Hinata needed to do this. Had to go off and make his own way. To develop, learn, get better, get stronger, and who was Kageyama to get in the way of that? If he truly loved Hinata, he’d let him spread his wings and fly.
Hinata was also contemplative. He was excited about leaving for Brazil but part of him loathed the idea of leaving Kageyama, his partner, his other half. He didn’t even know when they’d see each other again. Part of him wanted more than anything to just stay and be with Tobio, to tell him how much he loved him and that he’d never leave. But the other part of him needed to make his own way in the world, outside of Kageyama’s shadow.
Both young men were lost in thought, torn in two and internally conflicted, when they arrived outside Kageyama’s house.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” said Hinata, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Yeah, I guess,” replied Kageyama. Then silence for a heartbeat, two, then three as they each debated what to say next. Kageyama was thinking, I don’t want him to go, but how can I live with myself if I ask him to stay? Hinata’s thoughts focused on, I have to leave Japan, but I don’t want to leave him.
Several more heartbeats passed in silence. Finally, Kageyama said, “Do you want to come in for a while? No one’s home, so we have the house to ourselves.”
Hinata was more than relieved to put off the goodbye. “Yeah, sure.”
They made their way through Kageyama’s front door. They both took off their shoes and jackets and Kageyama asked if Hinata wanted to watch some old volleyball videos, and of course, Hinata said yes.
They spent a couple of hours watching their old games, reminiscing, recalling their three years together as rivals, then partners, then friends. They both had smiles on their faces by the time the last video was over. They looked at each other stupidly, still grinning.
But then, reality hit both of them and their smiles faltered. Goodbye was now even closer. How were they going to survive without each other?
Hinata reluctantly said, “It’s getting late, I suppose I should go.”
Kageyama said nothing. He just knew Hinata couldn’t leave, not yet. There was so much to say, but how? How could he express everything in his heart? His love and affection. His gratitude for the man that made him what he is today? A soon to be professional volleyball player. His lifelong dream, all due to this impossibly cute and likeable redhead who pushed him to be better and better and made his dream a reality.
“Don’t go,” Kageyama said quietly.
Hinata barely heard, “What?”
Kageyama looked up, his blue eyes locking with Hinata’s brown. “I said, ‘Don’t go. I… I want you to stay. I…” Kageyama ran out of words then and did the only thing that occurred to him in that moment of panic and weakness. He leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Hinata’s lips.
Hinata’s eyes went wide and his hand went up to touch his fingers to his still tingling lips. What just happened? Was it possible? Was it possible that Kageyama felt the same? He stared at his partner, trying to read his thoughts.
But the emotion in Kageyama’s eyes was confusing and Hinata didn’t know what to think. So he decided not to think and instead, grabbed Kageyama’s shirt and pulled him in for another kiss, this time longer and with tongue. For a few moments they were both lost in the feel of each other and the disbelief that they were finally doing this, after waiting and wanting for three long years. Both were now desperate for the other’s touches, as if three years of frustration came pouring out all at once.
Suddenly their hands were everywhere, exploring yet holding close, as if they were both afraid to let go, afraid that this was a dream and that they could wake up at any second. After a few minutes, Hinata pulled away and leaned his forehead against Kageyama’s. They were both breathing hard.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time,” Hinata admitted.
Kageyama closed his eyes as if the words were ones he longed to hear. “Me too,” he said with a small smile.
Hinata pulled back a little. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” said Kageyama earnestly. There was more and Hinata knew it, but Kageyama couldn’t find the words. Instead of a declaration of love, a plea to stay, those words that he wanted so badly to say, Kageyama said instead, “Do you… want to stay the night? No one will be home.”
He looked intently at Hinata with those deep blue eyes and in that moment, Hinata could not deny his partner anything. “Yes,” he said, standing up and holding out his hand.
Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s hand and stood. He looked down at the redhead. “Shoyo, are you sure?”
“Yes, Tobio. I think we’ve waited long enough.”
Kageyama squeezed his hand and began walking toward his bedroom, thinking Is this really happening? He got to the bedroom and turned to face Shoyo. No words were spoken, but none were needed. Kageyama pulled Hinata close and gently cupped his face with one hand. He pulled him in for another kiss, long and languorous, as their bodies pressed together in need. Soon the dreamy kiss turned more heated and Kageyama was greedily kissing Hinata while Hinata’s body was plastered to him. Kageyama worked his hands to the soft skin under Hinata’s t-shirt, drawing a small gasp from the ginger.
Kageyama stopped. “Is it okay?”
“Yes,” breathed Hinata, “yes, more than okay.” And then he was on his tiptoes kissing Kageyama again. This time Tobio let out a small moan as his hands explored the hard planes of Shoyo’s back. His skin was hot to the touch and soon Tobio needed to feel more of it. He grabbed the hem of Hinata’s shirt and dragged it up over his head, breaking the kiss only for a second. Hinata rushed to repeat the action with Kageyama’s shirt and then moaned as the heat of their bare chests melded together.
Kageyama spun Hinata so that Hinata’s legs were pushed up against the side of the bed and gently pushed him down onto the covers, coming down over him and trailing kisses down the redhead’s neck and collarbone. He had one hand grazing up and down Hinata’s abs as the shorter male moaned softly and ran his hands through Kageyama’s silky black locks.
“Tobio,” he breathed out and Kageyama thought that it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard.
“Shoyo, shit,” he replied, coming back to Hinata’s mouth. “I can’t believe this is really happening. I’ve waited… and… oh, God,” he finished lamely, and kissed the redhead again, knowing his words would be woefully inadequate to express his feelings, his love, his raging need.
“Tobio, please,” Hinata groaned out, not entirely sure what he needed but knowing he needed more of Tobio, more of his hands, his mouth, his smoking hot body. Just more.
Kageyama started fumbling with the button to Hinata’s jeans and popped it open and slid the zipper down, still sucking Hinata’s neck. He used one hand to awkwardly pull the jeans down over Hinata’s hips and threw them to the floor before palming Hinata’s hardened length through his boxers. Another moan from the redhead pushed Kageyama a little further toward the edge he was skirting. Why had they waited so long for this?
Hinata grabbed at Kageyama’s pants and returned the favor and soon Kageyama’s jeans were in a heap on the floor next to Hinata’s. They were both breathing hard and touching each other everywhere. Shoyo finally got his hands all over Tobio’s abs, which he had admired from afar for three years. And those biceps. Damn, Tobio was hot. All hard lines and firm muscles. Shit, it was making Shoyo crazy, touching Tobio all over like that.
“Fuck, Shoyo, are you sure you want to do this?” Kageyama asked again with his final remaining sliver of restraint.
“Yes, please, Tobio. I want it more than anything.”
Shoyo’s words were like a match lighting Tobio on fire. He roughly pulled off Shoyo’s boxers and palmed him, making Shoyo gasp and then moan.
“Fuck,” Kageyama said again, starting to pump his fist. But then he trailed a line of kisses down Hinata’s chest and abs and took his cock in his mouth, causing a loud, lewd moan to escape from Hinata’s throat.
“Tobio, shit,” Hinata said, grabbing at Kageyama’s hair with his hands. But soon words were beyond him and he was skating closer and closer to the edge. Kageyama kept going until Hinata’s breath hitched and then he was thrusting his hips up and spewing his cum down Kageyama’s throat. A minute later, Kageyama popped off and went back up to kiss the small redhead.
“Still sure, Shoyo?”
“YES!” Hinata said with such force that it made Kageyama chuckle. “Take your boxers off,” he added as an afterthought and Kageyama stood and worked his boxers down and off. Shoyo could only stare at Kageyama’s naked form. He looked like a Greek god, all chiseled and perfect and Hinata suddenly had to taste him. He leaned over the side of the bed, took Kageyama’s hard cock into his mouth, and then moaned with satisfaction.
Kageyama was in heaven and ran his hands through Shoyo’s fluffy orange hair. Soon he was moaning, “Shoyo, fuck, so good,” as his eyes closed and his head tipped back. For a moment there was no sound except for their guttural moans and foul words. And soon Kageyama was tightening his grip on Shoyo’s hair and careening over the edge. Shoyo let him ride out the orgasm and then removed his mouth, reluctantly. He plopped back on the bed and had a look of pure desire on his face. Kageyama had no trouble interpreting the look and leaned over to the bedside table to remove lube and a condom from the top drawer.
“I’ve thought about this for so long,” Kageyama breathed, almost embarrassed to admit as he looked down at Hinata’s naked form. Hinata’s dick was hard again and his hair was messed up and he looked impossibly cute and undeniably sexy at the same time. How did he do that?
Kageyama came down over Hinata and kissed him again, wanting to savor this moment for a little longer. He stayed there a few minutes and just enjoyed the softness of Hinata’s lips. Kags always fantasized Shoyo’s lips would be impossibly soft and supple and now he knew how they felt. And it was so much better than he imagined.
He broke the kiss, reluctantly, and moved between Hinata’s legs. Hinata was looking up at him and if someone could say ‘Fuck me’ with their eyes, Hinata was saying it now.
“Still sure?” Kageyama said one more time as he held the bottle of lube in one hand.
“Yes, Tobio, PLEASE,” Hinata begged. That was enough for Kageyama. He flipped open the bottle and squirted a healthy amount on his fingers before probing at Hinata’s hole. He had fantasized about this for so long, he could hardly believe it was happening. Hinata was here, under him, naked, looking so cute and sexy and he was about to do what he had fantasized about a million times. Hinata moaned and Kageyama could feel himself getting hard again in response to the sights and sounds. Hinata. His Hinata. All his. Right now.
He added a second finger and soon Hinata was moaning louder. Then a third and Hinata was bucking against his hand and saying, “Tobio, please, do it now.”
Kageyama slipped on a condom and eased between Hinata’s legs, lining up and then pushing inside, causing vulgar moans to escape both of their throats.
“Shit, Shoyo, so tight,” Kageyam managed to say with his one functioning brain cell. He began to move as Hinata grabbed onto his back. He leaned down again for a sloppy, wet kiss and continued to thrust, savoring the feeling of his lover, underneath him, a moaning wrecked mess. His fantasies had not even come close to the ecstasy he was feeling now.
He continued to kiss Hinata as he moved at a steady pace, but then he must have hit the spot because Hinata gasped and said, “Right, there, oh, my God,” and dug into Kageyama’s back with his fingernails as he held on. Kageyama was happy to continue and kept up a steady pace of pounding that same spot as he watched and felt Hinata come undone below him. Then finally, after several minutes, Hinata started making little gasping sounds and Kageyama knew he was close, so he reached down to stroke Hinata’s dick and kept up his steady assault on Hinata’s prostate.
After a few more minutes, Hinata’s erotic moans of pleasure sent Kageyama over the edge as Hinata simultaniously shot his load all over his stomach. They were both overwhelmed and exhausted as Kageyama bent down for one final, long kiss. He rolled over, quickly got up to dispose of the condom and grabbed some tissues, coming back to clean up Hinata. Once finished, Kageyama laid on his back and pulled Hinata to him.
They were still both breathing a little hard and their hearts were still thudding in their chests. But a feeling of calm contentment washed over both of them. They laid there for several minutes, basking in the afterglow, before reality started seeping in again.
Kageyama thought, He’s still going to leave tomorrow. Unless I say something. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep him here. It’s too selfish and I couldn’t do that to him. I have to let him go, but fuck, I don’t want to. I should tell him I love him. He should know. But what if I tell him and then he feels like he has to stay? I can’t. I want to tell him, but I don’t even know if he feels the same. And I can’t. I. Just. Can’t. I have to let him go.
Reality was also coming back to Hinata. I’ve never told him how I feel. I never told him I loved him. I should tell him now. He has a right to know before I leave. But I still have to go. What if I told him and he wanted me to stay? I can’t do that. I have to go make my way, be my own person and my own player. Without him. Would he understand? I don’t even know if he loves me back.
They laid there naked, without speaking, just listening to the sounds of their breathing. Hinata finally broke the silence.
“I’m going to miss you when I go,” he said simply. He heard Kageyama’s sharp intake of breath.
“I’ll miss you too. So much,” Kageyama replied.
Hinata thought, Would he even want me to stay? What if I’m leaving the love of my life? Am I making the worst mistake of my life? Will we ever get this back? Will he wait for me? Will he find someone else and move on?
“Tobio?” he asked, hesitantly.
“Yeah?”
“Can you give me any reason that I shouldn’t go to Brazil?”
A heartbeat passed. Then five, then ten. Shoyo thought to himself, If he says he loves me, it will change everything. If he says he loves me, that’s reason to stay.
Part of Kageyama wanted to yell, ‘Yes, Shoyo. I love you. Don’t leave me.’
But the words wouldn't come. And finally, with a heavy heart, Kageyama said, “No, Shoyo. Go to Brazil. Chase your dreams.”
It was the right thing to do, Kageyama knew, but still the words were like a dagger through his heart. He had sealed their fate. Shoyo had given him a chance to change the directions of their lives. And Tobio had decided, as much as it pained him, he needed to let Shoyo go.