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Why am I so nervous?
This is not the first time that Phoenix and I will spend the evening together. And we have known each other for years. It should not make me so anxious.
Maybe it is because we have not met for months?
Almost right after the trial of Kristoph Gavin, I had to take off to Germany: I still had a lot of business going on there, especially regarding some investigations. Franziska also needed my assistance with a few Interpol cases and I could not let her down, after all the things she had done for me all those years.
Thus, I had left promptly after the verdict; Phoenix and I had had just the time to get dinner before heading to the airport. I remember that he had come with me by taxi, hugged me tight, thanked me God-only-knows how many times and bid me goodbye, smiling all up to his ears while my heart was thundering inside my chest. Promptly after, I could only see his back going far and farther away from me, his bright blue suit standing out in the mass of people dressed in dark shades.
But I could have missed my plane; seriously, checking-in at the last minute just because I had been too busy staring at my lifelong crush had not been the best idea.
Honestly, this man would be the death of me one day.
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I sigh as I nervously flatten my vest. He is about to arrive any minute now.
I am so anxious that I keep going back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room, checking the cooking of the last dishes, the freshness of the water and the cleanliness of the silverware. I need everything to be perfect for him because he deserves the best. After all he has been through, and after all I have put him through, this is the least I can do.
I nearly jump out of my skin when my doorbell rings all of a sudden, tearing apart the quietness of my apartment.
I breathe in and out for a few seconds, doing my best to stop the raging pace of my heart, before walking to the door and opening it.
However, the thumping of my heart does not diminish when I see him. It goes worse, to the point I am pretty sure I have just had a brush with a heart attack. He is there, smiling like the eternal idiot he has always been, all teeth out, the smallest hint of dimples appearing on his cheeks. His marine eyes are glittering with the dim light of my living room. His dark spikes are impeccable, aside from the tiny bang refusing to stay in place and hanging on his forehead. He had replaced his navy suit for a more casual and comfortable outfit: a simple white tee-shirt -a tight fit making his chest stand out…- with a pair of black jeans hugging his strong thighs -I need to be careful of not drooling… I swear to God he wants to kill me- and the usual Oxford shoes he wears in court. The golden locket with Trucy’s picture inside is hanging from his neck, sparkling like a star, and his hands are gripping on a blue cardigan.
“Hey-” he says happily.
If I did not know him that well, I would have never realised he is nervous. But I have some years of practicing Phoenix Wright, thank God, so I perfectly recognise the look of anxiety in his eyes, in spite of the huge confident smile he is harbouring.
“Good evening, Wright.” I reply while trying to sound assured enough to not raise suspicions on my -completely out of place- mental state. “Come in, please.”
I remove myself from the entrance and give him space to walk into my home. He smiles while doing so, hangs his vest on the nearby coat rack and unties his shoes. The silence takes hold of the room and I do not like it. Thus, I decide to cut it short:
“Would you like something to drink?”
“Oh, hum, yes please!” his gentle voice echoes in the corridor.
“What would you like?” I continue to ask, now from the kitchen.
“Pretty much anything aside from, hum, y’know…” I hear his voice weakening and sounding very vulnerable. “Grape juice…”
Oh?
Oh.
“Yes, of course, I would not have proposed that. I have some very good coffee, bought in a little shop where everything is hand-made. I am not fond of coffee, but these particular beans have a very distinguished and refined taste-”
“It will be perfect, thanks, Edgeworth.”
Phew. One disaster avoided by a hair. I had been just about to propose to him the best French wine ever…
I guess the past never really dies.
My heart tightens when thinking about that. I still cannot digest everything that happened these past few years, and honestly, I do not think I will ever be able to.
But now is not the time to think about that.
I am about to spend my first date with Phoenix Wright, so I have to stay focused on him!
I start preparing his cup of coffee, grinding the beans by hand while the water is boiling, when I hear his footsteps behind me. He is coming into the kitchen and it makes my anxiety ascend to Himalayan heights.
“I really like your apartment. It is very well decorated: everything here exudes Miles Edgeworth.” he says in a tender voice.
For Goodness sake, I am lucky to just be grinding coffee beans and not doing something delicate; else, it would have been a disaster because I am blushing like a teenage girl, my hands are shaking from the emotion and my heart races once again -I could win a marathon at this rate…-
“Do not be stupid, Wright. I barely come here, it is not very, welcoming to say the least.”
Really, Miles? This is all you can come up with?
“Anything that has a link to you is welcoming, Edgeworth. Stop discrediting yourself like that, for once.” I can hear the smile in his voice and it brings a tiny one to my usually stoic face.
“Coming from the man who spends his time blaming himself for things he cannot control, it is a tad hypocritical.” I tease him a bit; I need to lighten up the mood and stop it from growing so sentimental.
“Oh wow, the Chief Prosecutor is playing dirty; that won’t be good for your reputation, Mister Edgeworth.” he smirks; I just know he has his trademark shit-eating grin on.
“Says the one and only bluffing attorney…” I sigh while putting the grounded beans into the coffee pot, exchanging a glance with him in the meantime.
“Objection!”
“Objection overruled.”
He then looks at me, and I look at him. And we just end up laughing, smiling goofily to each other, simply enjoying the moment.
Like none of the past traumatic events we have gone through had ever existed.
I pour the water over the coffee powder in the plunger coffee pot, enjoying the earthy scent coming from the beverage. Closing my eyes to appreciate the aroma even more, I do not see and only feel Phoenix sliding his hands on my hips; his chest is pressed against my back, deliciously warm and comforting, radiating reassurance and love like I have never felt before. I sigh of pleasure when his lips kiss the skin behind my ear.
I feel safe here. Like nothing can ever happen to me.
But I also want him to feel this way. So, I turn around and face him: I hang my hands around his neck and play with the little bangs on his nape. I smile, without any restraint, showing him all the happiness I feel when he is with me. His eyes then dive into mine and I swear I can see stars in the dark blue of his irises. I bring our foreheads together and come closer for a kiss; I close my eyes when my lips touch his. My stomach is filled with butterflies when we get closer, our hips colliding and rolling against each other in soft waves. Our kiss is becoming stronger and I end up pressed against the kitchen counter.
It just feels so good, so right -Wright…- to be here, to do that, to live this moment.
When we pull apart, we take some seconds to regain our breaths and just stare at each other in a hazy state of mind. I can feel that we are still both on Cloud Nine by the way our gazes are lost, wandering all over the face of the one we face, contemplating the beauty of it, smiling helplessly to each other. Phoenix’s fingers slide up to my jaw and caress it absentmindedly.
“To think that it would take so long for us to get together…” I giggle.
“Yes, well… Let’s say it was pretty difficult for us these past years. But now, we can finally…” I gulp nervously, way too conscious of how sappy I will sound when saying this; I know my cheeks are scarlet. “We can focus on, on… Us.”
He looks a bit lost but his face lights up all of a sudden and he kisses my cheek in the most loving way.
“You’re right. We can enjoy our relationship to the fullest now: nothing to prevent us from being together anymore.”
This line he has just said bears so much emotion that I start to tear up: we both have lived countless hardships and I still cannot believe that we can now be happy together, living our love to the fullest and make the most of our new-born relationship. He does not add anything and simply wipes my tears away.
“Well, since I’ll be here all evening, and night as well, let’s have dinner for now. It smells so good I am practically drooling over the smell!”
I laugh and pinch his nose.
“Alright, you glutton! Go to the table and wait for me: I’m coming right away with the food.”
“Ah! As if I’d let you do everything all by yourself! Lemme help!”
His smile is so, unbearably adorable that I concede.
“Alright, alright. Take the salads out of the fridge, I’ll bring the main dish.”
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Has it always been so, so perfect to spend time with Phoenix?
Nothing is out of place. Nothing makes me nervous anymore. We tease each other, we talk about work, I give him the latest updates on the Steel Samurai series and Phoenix cooes over Trucy’s new show. It is simple but oh so amazing to chit-chat about all and nothing.
We also talk about our respective “unofficial children”, about how they are currently doing, how they are holding up despite the difficulties: Justice has a lot of work in Khura’in but Sahdmadhi’s help is precious to him and Gavin has gone over there to be with him and help with whatever job Justice has for him -needless to say the job part is less important than the relationship part, though-, Cykes has it tough with her upcoming trials but Blacquill is there to provide advice and recommendations to his unofficial little sister, Sebastian and Kay are doing good but God they are still giving me headaches with their antics and they make Gumshoe’s life a living Hell at times.
And of course, we do not forget to mention Maya and Pearl; the both of them are working a lot in the Kurain village but they do well, and I am way too happy for my own sake when he tells me the girls will be coming in a few days and staying for a week, inviting me to spend some time with them in the meantime. I have not seen them for approximately six months, and I admit that I miss these two very much.
It always feels surreal when I realise we have such a giant family: broken individuals that we took under our wings to heal together. Our bonds are stronger than anything I have ever lived, despite the distance, our differences, and the struggles life has put in our respective paths.
I am sure Dad would love every single one of them…
I feel emotional when I think about Dad, and I guess Phoenix knows very well what is happening, because he grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. His smile is comforting and the kisses he leaves on my hand soothes my nerves. I smile back and whisper a low “thank you”.
My focus falls back on our date soon after. The food is delicious, the laughs we share will resonate for years against my walls, and the cuddle session we have on my couch while watching a few old polar movies makes me touch Heaven.
It feels so right that I fall asleep right there, cuddled against Phoenix, our legs tangled and my head into his chest.
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The first thing I feel when I wake up is a huge pang of pain in my lower back. Not the best thing to wake up to, I assure you.
But the breath I hear under me makes the pain suddenly go away.
I raise my head a bit and smile tenderly at the sight in front of my eyes: Phoenix Wright is sleeping peacefully, his spikes messy and all over the place, his mouth opening here and there to let a soft groan escape, his tee-shirt showing a bit of his collarbone.
I move around slowly and make myself more comfortable; he is a pretty heavy sleeper from what I have witnessed. We have already slept together -platonically and sexually- but this is the first night we spend as a couple, as boyfriends. Everything feels so dreamy that I have to touch him to make sure he is real. Thus, I let my fingers glide on his skin, tracing all of his curves, enjoying the smoothness of his body.
I do not know how long I do that; it could be long hours or mere seconds. But sincerely, I do not care. It is the best feeling in the world to wake up in the arms of your loved one, of the one you have waited for all your life.
…
Maybe not all my life, but most of it anyway.
I then put my hand in his hair and gently stroke it, untying the knots, smiling at the softness of the dark locks.
“Hm, it tickles…” I hear from under.
“Oh, so you are ticklish. Interesting fact to know, Phoenix.”
“Hm-”
I gasp when I feel his strong arms hugging me tighter suddenly. He leaves feather-like kisses on my forehead, my nose and then my lips. My cheeks are burning like meteorites.
“... You reek of coffee.” I say in a desperate attempt to keep my stoicism intact.
“And you, of tea and bad temper.” he snickers while finally opening his dark eyes.
“Hahah, very funny, Wright.” I tease and pinch his nose.
“I seriously wonder how I can put up with you, Mr. Edgeworth!”
“And since when are you the one putting up with me!?” I retort, offended.
“Ah! Do I need to remind you some, details about our common history? Like a certain note…”
“Enough, Phoenix! I capitulate!” I laugh. “That was a very low blow, do not be proud of this one!”
That idiot spiky-haired then giggles like a kid and I follow immediately after.
Oh God, it feels so good…
“This is the first time we wake up together as a, hum, as a couple…”
“Certainly not the last.” he whispers while kissing the bridge of my nose in the most tender way possible. “But next time, please, let’s sleep in a bed: my back is killing me.”
I laugh out loud and peck his cheek.
“Of course, darling.”