Chapter Text
“Even if I don’t talk… I’m watching you, Jimin-ssi.” ~Jeon Jungkook
-
When the world was too big, the four-year-old Jungkook only had Jimin to make it small.
They were orphans.
They were both the same.
Small and abandoned, in that big house by the people who were supposed to care about them the most.
If you’d ask the six-year-old Jimin, things weren’t all that bad. He had a roof above his head when the nights were too cold, a plate of food when he was hungry, and plenty of friends to play with when he was bored.
For a little kid, truly, that was enough.
But if you’d ask the four-year-old Jungkook, things were bad. He had a roof above his head that was dripping when the nights were rainy, a plate of food when he was about to starve to death, and plenty of imaginary friends to talk to when he didn’t have anyone else.
For a little kid, truly, that was horrible.
They were embedded in the very same awful reality, Jimin viewing things better while Jungkook, exactly, as they were.
Pathetic.
Their reality was pathetic.
Until one day, it wasn’t anymore.
A couple came and claimed them. Both. The sweet Mated couple wanted them both. And half a year later, their adoption brought them to their new environment. A much healthier and warmer environment. A place they could call home and have love.
Though, the two pups had already found a home in each other long before they had settled down with the couple they could now call Mom and Dad.
Frankly speaking, the two pups were depending on each other more, seeking each other’s warmth more than they did with their parents.
Jimin had saved Jungkook from his lonely, grumpy self long before his Mama and Papa could. The tiny Omega had approached him first. With his tiny hands and gentle manners, the soft Omega had won the even smaller Alpha first. With his wide smiles and big hugs, the benevolent Omega had made the Alpha’s world spin around the other, involving only him.
For all his childhood years, since the day the little doting swan had wobbled in his path when he was four, the young Alpha had felt more like the little chick following its loving mother in their relationship.
It didn’t matter that Jungkook had gotten taller and broader than Jimin already by the age of twelve. The Alpha would always be the little spoon in their sleep time.
Until one day, Jungkook had to be the bigger man.
To become his sweet Hyung’s protector.
The world was still too big, and he too small.
But the need to protect had made him bigger than he could’ve hoped for.
†
“Tae, stop! I’ll be late!” Jimin complained against the Alpha’s embrace, pushing at Taehyung’s chest to get away.
“Oh, hush! You’ll be blessed.” Taehyung only tightened his arms around the much smaller and shorter man. “You need your daily dose of me.”
“If I knew this would happen, I’d have never slept over!” The Omega pressed.
“Lies.” Both of them knew this would’ve happened. Hugs were common between them, between Soulmates. Always would. “Hug me back. You need it.”
And just like that, Taehyung had become solemn; the atmosphere gloomy. His chin had found its home over Jimin’s shoulder. His hands were now slowly and very quietly stroking the Omega’s back. He knew what day it was today. And the Omega was going to spend it alone. Like every year.
The Alpha could only offer his useless hugs and words he had never and would never dare to utter. It could be any other topic. The two of them could talk about anything and everything. Everything except him.
“It’s fine.” Jimin nosed along the column of his Best Friend’s neck, taking in the spike of worry in his otherwise pleasant, apple scent. “I spent the night. I got my fill. I’ll be fine.”
Taehyung couldn’t ask to spend another night, this specific night, in his apartment with him. He knew the answer. Every year. “Call me. For anything. Anytime.”
“I will.” Jimin gave his vacant promise.
Such lies the Friendship Code could allow.
†
Jimin was twenty-seven and had twenty-five whelps.
Well… That came out faintly wrong.
Jimin did feel like he had twenty-five tiny five-year-olds. The Omega simply wasn’t their Eomma. He was their beloved teacher.
“Ah! Beautifully done, Ji-ah!” The Omega praised the work of one of the adorable Omega girls in his classroom that was sitting closest to him at his left.
It was near the beginning of the school year, and Jimin thought it was okay for his newest pups to try and become a bit associated with the writing of their names.
The older pups were making a mess around the circle of the eleven sitting new pups and Jimin, playing numerous games loudly.
It was bringing a sense of peace to his turbulent state of mind. Hearing their little blissful smiles and squeals and shouts was a way to forget. Even if the ‘J’ from Ji-ah’s written name in the paper before him wouldn’t let him.
Jimin did his job just about mechanically that day. His smiles and praises were all sincere. The tiny radiant balls of joy could do as much to the melancholic Omega. But to anyone who knew Jimin, they were just a tad bit with less spirit than they normally would’ve been.
“Yah! Get out of here. You’re stinking up the office.”
Faux kvetch was camouflaged within the freshly voiced words. The Omega looked up from his work on his desk. His workmate and friend, Hoseok, was leaning against the doorframe to their shared office.
“I have some evaluations left to do.” Working as a kindergarten teacher didn’t mean you got to leave at half-past two and have nothing left to do for the rest of the day. Jimin had lesson planning, room preparation, and paperwork to do long after that.
It was why the tired Omega could see orange bathing his work surface from the evening sunlight that was filtering through the thin yellow curtains. And he was still in school.
“I’m doing them for you.” The Beta stated as he entered the room to rest against Jimin’s desk instead. His all-day classroom had just been over. He could do them along with his own.
Jimin sighed, bringing a hand to knead his shoulder and nape. He didn’t have the power to protest. Besides, if he stayed, his pungent scent would only bother the Beta. “Thank you.”
“Do you need a ride home?” Hoseok reached for the weary Omega to stabilize him on his feet as he stood up from his chair. “I could call Yoongi.” He worriedly proposed.
“No, no. That won’t be necessary.” Jimin politely dismissed the idea. Even though his blood pressure was probably making a free fall right now. “I want to walk.”
The Beta didn’t persist. It wasn’t the day.
Exchanging a brief hug, they parted ways. The weather was sweet, very summery-like. And Jimin had at least the comfort of warmth the gentle evening breeze provided him.
Absent-mindedly, he reached home. The only place he got to finally breathe. He didn’t know how long he stood there against his door, just taking in small breaths. But the purple, pink sunlight was gone. And that was enough to encourage his movements towards his kitchen-living room.
He couldn’t be too late.
He washed his hands, wore his pink apron, and got to work. To make the perfect Birthday Cake! He didn’t have guests to impress. The Snow White Cake wasn’t even for himself. Just for the twelve-year-old Baby, Bunny boy he had living in his memories for thirteen years now.
The Omega pursed his lips and patted his jaw, thinking. The plain Cake was staring back at him on top of his island countertop, mockingly. The Omega felt it lack a lot, visually speaking. So, he went for the gewgaw part.
Every year was different. So was his decoration. He didn’t want his Kook-ah to get bored. This year he felt like going colorful. Pink. Blue. Yellow. Purple. Green. Absolutely idyllic!
Humming to himself, he took the piping bag and wrote a: ‘Happy Birthday Kookie’. And then he made the Cake be gone inside the refrigerator to go and take a much-needed shower.
He headed down the living room and then the corridor to get to his room and his attached bathroom. It was on days like these where his apartment would feel too big and empty for himself.
The Omega wasn’t regretting it. He had always esteemed privacy and space. Goodness, it was hard to get Taehyung to let go of their shared University life back in the day. The Omega had to promise that their new apartments wouldn’t be far-off from each other to get the Alpha to agree.
And the Alpha would still spend the majority of his free time crashing in the Omega’s place or vice versa, so... The Omega didn’t actually have the time to feel alone.
Indeed, a few blocks were separating them. Both were located on busy streets. And given they were only a few blocks from the heart of Seoul, the noise situation could get serious.
It was a lot more costly, but the Omega was determined to have it all. With a little bit of help from his Appa, his high-ceilinged apartment was on the seventh floor, right below the roof, dwindling importantly the noise pollution from the traffic - along with triple-pane glass windows.
Jimin loved his comfy home and adored to cherish it on his own. From painting walls to cleaning and tidying, everything had the soft mark of his caring nature.
The large windows were simply a big contrast.
While the vivid, pastel colors on the walls had nuances of blue, the scattered pillows were baby pink and white and beige, all beautifully placed over the light grey living room set and floor.
And if Jimin was proud of his home, he was even prouder of his room. His apartment had two bedrooms, Jimin’s slightly bigger bedroom, and the one spare room across. But the outlook from Jimin’s lone window had nothing on the view at the front. From his kitchen and living room, Jimin could see the street down to the sleepless city of Seoul. From his room, he had a clear-cut view of the building across and the fire escape ladder.
There was nothing to compare.
So, why was his room his joy and pride?
Simply, his room was Jimin’s safe zone.
For his room, Jimin was getting territorial. It was an omega thing. The place where they would make their nest in their most vulnerable state once every month was not a joke to them. No one was to get into his room. Not even his friend, Jin, who was an Omega. Not even Taehyung, who was his Best Friend.
Their room, bed, and nest were for their Mate only.
The Mate Jimin had yet to find. Not that the Omega had ever bothered to search. He wasn’t a virgin. In his twenty-seven years of life, the Omega had had his fair shares in the erotic part. Some hook-ups here and there. And that was pretty much it.
Actually, if he had a secret kept away from his friends, that would’ve been his desire for the activity. It was near negligible. And everyone knew. Taehyung could’ve blamed that on his poor taste in Alphas if he wasn’t there present to his choices whenever it was clubbing time.
Jimin would find them appealing, and sexy, and beautiful. Every single one of them, and Taehyung would agree. But his Omega was retiring someplace far within his head whenever his partner for the night would be balls deep within him, so… Jimin had eventually given up.
He couldn’t even remember the last time he had done it. He just knew he hadn’t let any of those Alphas knot him, and that, that was, probably, going to be the case until his death.
Jimin didn’t mind. As long as he didn’t have to deal with awkward, slick-less dick sessions that would end up badly for his walls, he could survive.
Back into his room, Jimin dressed comfortably after his quick shower. Black and blue and airy. The plan for the night was: food, crying, and Disney. Okay, maybe and some Barbie. Nothing fancy was needed, yet the Omega dug up the precious baptismal gold cross and wore it around his neck.
His fingers subconsciously kept caressing the priceless jewel for some seconds more before he grabbed his phone from the bed to turn it off. He saw the missed calls from his Appa and Tae, but he ignored them. Just for tonight. Tomorrow, everything was going back to normal. His grief for the boy he had lost all those years ago lasted for a day every year. The Omega had somehow managed to minimize it to that. God knew how.
Or maybe time knew.
Time made everything a little bit easier.
Jimin wondered when it would be easy enough.
If it could ever be.
The Omega shook his head and went for his Cake. With the utmost care, he placed it on the counter and put two number candles on the colorful top. One 2’ shaped candle and one 5’.
Jimin lit them up and made the wish he wished his baby Alpha could make somewhere in this big world right now on his own.
Please be okay.
Wherever you are.
The Omega had given up on wishing for the Alpha to return to him.
He blew out the candles and was about to get a plate for the Cake when he heard a muffled thud coming from his bedroom.
He froze. Cold sweat began to wash over him. What should he do? Go check? Maybe it was the wind. But he had closed the window. Jimin was sure of it. Should he call the police? For a sound?
Jimin ducked down for cover when the door to his room slid open. Sweet life, he was scared. Steps could be heard, a pair of them. They were two and Jimin could already smell them. Alphas.
He was fucked.
From his spot behind the kitchen island, he looked for anything heavy to defend himself. But before he could strike a proper thought, he was grabbed and out of his hiding place.
“Let go!” The Omega screamed at the masked man that was squeezing his arms painfully lot with his strong hands.
His screams were muted by one gloved hand.
The other Alpha was making a mess out of his living room while the other held him in place, pressed against the counter. The Omega couldn’t even tell them to take whatever the hell they wanted in exchange for his well-being - if those men truly were there to rob him.
The fuzzy Alpha somewhere in his perimeter seemed to be creating chaos just for the fun of it rather than to find anything valuable inside his home.
“Nothing.” The Alpha that was manhandling Jimin nonchalantly said as the other Alpha came close. The word was spoken as if it didn’t surprise the Alpha, as if he couldn’t care less.
And something told Jimin then that those men weren’t there to steal from him. Those men wanted something else entirely. And his Omega coiled back, scared of the unknown.
“Maybe we should scratch him a little.”
Jimin couldn’t see it, but he could feel the smugness in the man’s scent. And he didn’t have the time for dread. He was shoved hard onto the floor, wounding his palms on some scattered splinters of glass.
A pained exclamation was all he got to emit before he saw the Alpha coming for him. And the Omega could only close his eyes in fright.
Helpless.
Helpless he felt. Helpless he was.
The Omega was too engrossed in his frightened state to notice the man was taking too long to attack.
It was a gagging gasp that caused him to open his eyes and see another hooded figure being in the scene.
Another Alpha was choking his assailant with vigor.
And the Alpha that was once breaking things around in his home was now skeptical of pouncing on the new Alpha, maybe even scared.
And, for a moment, Jimin thought he had imagined the other Alpha running away. But the new Alpha dropping the nearly choked man down to heave for his life on the floor and then leaping to grapple the runaway instead was…
Well… Wow…
It was pretty real.
Happening in his living room…
The situation almost made him nauseous. And the glass pieces poking further into his skin as he pushed himself up made that thought linger much more lively in his mind and gut.
Jimin’s head snapped up when a final thud pierced the silence. The other man’s body had limply hit the floor. He looked simply unconscious. But the Omega was too shaken to truly tell.
His eyes squeezed shut when the new Alpha went to do the same with the other, still panting, man.
And after that, there was total stillness. With Jimin fearing to look directly up at the man, but he did it anyway.
And everything got red, and black, and all too familiar. Like that night.
Should he say hi? Long time no see? How have you been? What do you usually say to your Guardian Angel? Because… The Alpha standing before him was nothing but that.
Slowly and carefully, the Omega was on his feet. The Last thing he wanted was for the man to leave. Though, the Alpha looked one move away from doing just that.
Warily, Jimin padded closer. The Alpha was wearing a hood and a mask, all black. Just like the last time he had seen him, his crimson eyes were the only characteristic visible.
And it was those eyes that pinned the Omega to a stop.
Those eyes were an abnormality. Alphas didn’t have red eyes. Their eyes would flash yellow whenever their inner Wolf would surface, yes. But red eyes and red veins popping under them weren’t garden-variety.
Was he born like that?
If the answer was negative, Jimin feared to imagine the alternative.
They were staring at one another. Silently, observing. Curiously, taking in what they could. It was the first time they were standing this close. And their scents were mingling, and tangling, and dancing around them. It had put them both under the same spell. It appeared so. Since the Alpha hadn’t moved, nor had he tried to.
After some time, the Omega frowned. There was just something in those eyes, something going deeper than the color, something to their shape. Round. And big. And doe-like. Maybe Jimin had been missing Jungkook more than he was letting on. But there was something in his scent too. Under the virility of it, the undertones were of something sickeningly familiar and sweet.
Jimin had to know.
He blinked down to the Alpha’s neck. He stepped closer. Inappropriately so. And to his surprise, the Alpha stayed put, only growling menacingly down at him. But his Omega didn’t abort. On the contrary, he proceeded. Every caution to the wind, he didn’t care.
The Alpha didn’t care either. If the slight tilt of his head was anything to go by, permission was granted. But his Omega was acting greedy. And he was going to take, even if permission wasn’t given.
Sniffing at strangers was something a sane man wouldn’t do. Both of them must have been going crazy. Because the Alpha was sniffing him back.
And it should’ve been scary. To think what they were doing… But they were both in it too deep. The Omega’s nose dared to touch skin. And a sob shook him. Because underneath it all, the Omega could smell his Kookie.
Jimin could forget. But his Omega could never. Or maybe the Omega had really gone mad.
Jimin didn’t feel like he could talk. His hands reached for the Alpha of their own accord. But when he hissed from the pain in his bleeding palms, the Alpha took them into his own much larger ones to inspect them.
“Do they hurt?”
Jimin’s heart fluttered, missing several beats. The Alpha sounded like he hadn’t used his voice for years. And the Omega wanted to tell him that that thought hurt more than the cuts in his palms.
Actually, the Omega could barely feel them. Whatever he was feeling, was about the Alpha. His pain, his happiness, his sadness… Was all for him.
“Not more than my heart.”
“Your heart?”
The Omega could hear the confusion in his voice. His voice was so very soft, a blunt antithesis to his looks and ventures.
“Here.” The Omega looked down at his chest and the Alpha followed his gaze.
“Sounds fine to me.” The Alpha said with his attention mostly on the cross against the Omega’s sternum.
“How?” Jimin was genuinely keen to know.
“I just do.” His words went almost inaudibly to the quiet living room.
But they were so close now. Jimin could see the tufts of his long, raven hair reaching down his masked cheeks, adorning features the Omega could only conjure up in his head.
When had he let his hair grow that long?
Jimin had questions. So many questions. But he shouldn’t ask. He didn’t want to overwhelm the Alpha. He didn’t want his curiosity and convoluted feelings to coax him away.
The Alpha hadn’t disappeared - yet. They were even maintaining a conversation - Lord could make it. For now, that was enough.
The Alpha was reluctant to let Jimin’s hands go. But slowly, the warmth was gone, leaving the Omega wanting it back.
“Go take care of them.” If that was an instruction, Jimin heard it as a subtle plea. “I’ll take care of the rest.”
“No, p-please…” Jimin was growing upset. “Please don’t go.”
Once upon a time, Jimin used to know what was going on inside Jungkook’s head. But that man before the Omega wasn’t the same boy he had lost. And to tell that didn’t hurt…
“I’ll come back.”
And Jimin could see it in his eyes, how his little boy was tired of running. But trust was a funny thing. After so many years, the Omega found it hard to simply allow those eyes to navigate him however they wanted to.
“Promise me.” It was a soft request, a breathy one.
Scarlet eyes smiled. “And if I don’t?”
Ocean eyes softened back. “I may not let you go.” Not this time.
“What makes you think you could stop me?” The Alpha’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
And it was true. If the Alpha wanted to leave, the delicate Omega couldn’t do much to stop him. But there’s the keyword: ‘If’.
“The fact that you’re here.” Jimin could hear the tears in his own voice. His voice was trembling, just like the rest of his being. “You don’t really want to be lost anymore.”
The Alpha was affected too. His scent was dripping with sourness, but there was also something close to delight permeating his words.
“Then that’s your promise.”