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Jaehyun can feel it in the base of his skull, his Mana coming alive, reacting excitedly. Whenever his Mana sensed his magic, it would quiver in anticipation, waiting to be reunited with the rest of him. Giving away pieces of himself through his magic, through the spells he casts, his Mana acts as though it’s being reunified with long-lost family.
It’s why he feels it is so difficult to leave the fortress he’s called home for so many years. His magic fortified the exterior walls to keep its tenants safe. The spell drained him for days, leaving him exhausted.
But when he hears the sound of heavy hooves battering the ground, nearing the castle, the sound of men yelling and cheering, of armour shifting, he wonders if it’s his magic that his Mana is reacting to or—
“Lord Youngho has returned!”
Jaehyun’s brow twitches as he leans out the window of the tall tower that Youngho had gifted him when he asked him to live at his castle along with the rest of his men. He drapes himself across the window sill, and watches, seemingly bored, as everyone dismounts from their steads to embrace the warm welcome.
Jaehyun’s eyes skate passively over the faces he barely bothers remembering until they land on the leader, the lord of the estate, the esteemed and heavily decorated knight, his...
Youngho.
He is built like a knight, his broad shoulders and broader chest carry steel plated armour as though made from thin linens. His height is staggering, even more so when mounted on his black stallion. His skin is a glazed tan from travelling under the beating sun and Jaehyun is sure there are scars and wounds that kiss his skin under the worn leather.
The knights that are still far too young and untrained to venture out on quests rush to Youngho, staring up at him in awe. Jaehyun’s eyes darken, his Mana vibrating under his skin when Youngho bites down on the tip of his leather glove to pull it off his hand. Once free, he runs his fingers through his sweat-slicked hair, the black waves curling under his ear.
The lord looks unbothered as if his men aren’t telling the harrowing story of how he had single-handedly slain a dangerous dragon that held women and children, hostage, in its cave. Jaehyun scoffs under his breath, Youngho could be insufferable when we wanted to. He would come back from a near-death battle with the same nonchalance that one would if they had gone to town to purchase spices.
As if hearing his un-amusement, Youngho’s eyes dart up the vines along the brick tower before spotting the mage. The second their gazes clash, Jaehyun huffs and turns away from the window, pulling the hood of his robe over his silvering hair. He huddles between scrolls of ancient scripts in languages that only he could understand.
He lets his Mana soothe his veins as he settles in. He doesn’t care for Youngho. He only stays at his estate because he has nowhere else to go and his magic was too engrained in the protection spell he cast on the gates. He doesn’t stay up when Youngho goes on dangerous expeditions, he doesn’t spend days studying archaic texts to learn every spell in existence that could protect the lord. And he certainly doesn’t imbue Youngho’s weapons with dangerous boons.
Jaehyun is not in love.
——
Jaehyun, at the tender age of 20, grew up without parents or love. His powers made him feared, isolated and made him a monster to be burned at the stake.
He cried, screamed until he could taste the blood from his raw throat. He fought against the shackles that bound his ankles and wrists to the wooden cross. His eyes covered, his heart was thrashing against his chest when the townspeople charged towards him with flame torches. He wasn’t strong enough or knowledgeable enough to use his magic to protect himself, and his mind was too scattered to try.
He couldn’t think.
He just screamed and pled for his life.
“Burn him! Son of Satan! The Devil’s spawn! Burn him!”
He lived a quiet, harmless life in his hut, hidden away from the world. He never hurt a soul, and only used to magic to survive the day. He didn’t deserve to die, he didn’t want to die.
“Save me!” He begged to Gods that had their ears covered.
He could feel the heat from one of the torches lick at the skin on his cheek. Jaehyun closed his eyes and waited with bated breaths for the flames to consume him and burn him alive.
Except silence is what he was met with.
A hushed stillness hung for hours before the covering was removed from his face. He waited for a beat before opening his eyes. The crowd parted and he lifted his head to see a man standing in front of him with a glare that made him want to kneel. He didn’t recognize him but he figured he must be the son of a chief, perhaps he would be the man that had the honour of killing him.
“My lord! This heathen is a carrier of black magic. We must purge him from the earth!”
“Silence.”
Jaehyun flinched at the anger that echoed in the voice and it had immediately caused the mob to simmer submissively.
A firm grip clasped Jaehyun’s chin and tilted his face to meet his eyes. His callused thumb caught a stray tear and wiped it away before leaning close so that Jaehyun could taste the licorice and oak on his tongue, “Would you like to come with me, son of Satan?”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened at the smirk on the man’s—lord’s—face, his voice low and deep that he could feel it buzz around in his chest, “C-come with you?"
“Mmm, I tend to fancy black magic,” the man mused.
Jaehyun gulped the stone down his throat, he couldn’t tell if the lord was mocking him, “I—I don’t practice black magic.”
He sighed, causing Jaehyun to tremble, scared he had angered the man, “do you just want me to admit that it is you that I fancy, then?
“W-what?”
The man’s eyes fluttered shut and leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Jaehyun’s. The Mana that had been fighting through his hysteria bloomed upon the man’s touch, brushing against Jaehyun’s brain.
“Let me take you away from here,” his voice softened, his eyes gentle when he saw panic in Jaehyun’s.
The stranger looked and sounded like salvation, something Jaehyun had never believed in, “Please.”
As if waiting for his affirmation, his Mana undid the binds and he fell forward into the lord’s waiting arms. Jaehyun’s fingers curled into his leather armour and cowered against the man, using him as a shield.
Whispers floated up in the air before the man spoke, louder, addressing the mob that had watched the exchange, “This man is now a member of the Seo estate, any attempts on his life will be stopped and returned with your beheading.”
That was the first time Jaehyun had met Seo Youngho.
It was the first time someone had saved him.
And it was the first time he had fallen in love.
——
Youngho is a young lord, one of the youngest. He came from humble beginnings before entering a quest as an underdog against some of the nation’s most accomplished knights.
And yet he succeeded. He had done what no other could do.
He slew the white dragon, returned with its fang and his life had never been the same. He was gifted with more gold than he had known what to do with and more infamy than he could carry. He was knighted, presented an abandoned castle to call home and soon became a lord.
He protected his land and the people who dwelled in it. He housed a range of veteraned and newly trained knights, taking on quests and journeys for hefty rewards that kept stomachs fed and bodies clothed.
Youngho wears the responsibility with great consideration, he doesn’t engage in the same indulgences that other knights and lords often do. He doesn’t keep himself amused with an over abundance of women and liquor. He doesn’t hoard wealth like a dragon.
His face is always set in a stern frown, his eyes cold and calculating around the unfamiliar. It takes a lot for his men to even crack a smile out of him. All his men, after a few glasses of import beer, love taking their turns trying to make him laugh.
But it’s rare.
Rare for all but one.
“Everyone is celebrating, why are you up here studying, sorcerer?”
When Jaehyun looks up from his books, Youngho feels the iron melt off his heart to reveal the red muscle pumping blood through his body. He looks sleepy, warm, the silver strands of hair hanging over his tired eyes making Youngho feel like he is finally home.
Not when he sees the tops of his estate or walks through familiar halls, not when he changes into comfortable cotton clothes. Not when he eats a home-cooked meal.
But when he sees his mage, his Jaehyun, bundled under a small tower of books with potions and magic herbs scattered around him, it’s like he can finally breathe.
Jaehyun blinks at him, most likely shaking out of the haze and translating his mind back from the ancient language of magic tongues that he speaks so well. Recognition hits the mage before he rolls his eyes with a scoff.
“You murdered an enlarged lizard, is that cause for celebration?”
Youngho’s lips curve, “Considering you had a lot to do with that, yes, it is. Here, I brought you back something.”
He sets down a stack of books wrapped in silk as Jaehyun’s shoulders tense. It takes a lot out of Youngho to not cave to his desires and gather him into his arms, coil around his body, bury his face into the crook of his neck and cushion into his magic.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lord Seo,” he says indignantly while untying the package and leafing through the pages of the expensive books on alchemy.
Youngho smirked, “You don’t? So someone else charmed my sword to ignite the blade with fire?”
“It’s plausible,” Jaehyun said with a dismissive shrug.
Jaehyun watches him as he moves closer, tracking Youngho's steps until he’s standing next to where he’s hunched. Youngho has faced off against the mightiest beasts and yet Jaehyun’s eyes alone could bring him to his knees. Youngho reaches out to pull the hood off his head and brushes his fingers through his hair.
“I told you that you shouldn’t use your magic so carelessly. It makes you tired and Minhyung told me that a spell-like that must’ve taken a lot from you,” he murmurs.
Jaehyun’s head tilts towards Youngho’s hand and he melts a little inside. Ever since saving him from being burned alive and showing him his new home, Jaehyun and Youngho had shared a close bond. They spoke without speaking, understood without telling.
With Jaehyun’s Mana in Youngho weaponry and Youngho’s life in the hands of Jaehyun’s magic, they know each other through so much.
But it wasn’t just their companionship that tied them together, Jaehyun’s magic had bonded with Youngho too, familiar and appreciative of the young lord. Youngho wasn’t equipped to sense it like Jaehyun could but he knew that the way his magic protected him that it was a unique connection.
“What would happen to the Seo estate if you died? One of your men would have to take it over and that would be a nightmare. None of them are capable enough to run this castle.”
Youngho laughs loudly, a rare sound but not to Jaehyun, and slid down to sit next to him, “That’s why? You were just protecting the property rights of the estate?”
“Precisely, and look at me, I’m perfectly fine. Minhyung just likes to exaggerate.” Jaehyun’s scowl deepens and Youngho is so impossibly fond.
He relents, it’s not like he has much power against Jaehyun, and grasps Jaehyun’s hand. Unlike his own that are cracked and callous, his are well-loved by his Mana, “Thank you for protecting me, mage. I’m forever indebted.”
Jaehyun’s eyes roll sardonically once again before they land on Youngho, “Are you sure you’re okay? I have some salve for cuts, I think I have herbal powder somewhere that I charmed ages ago. I just need to fi—“
Youngho holds his hand when he stands and pulls him back down. Jaehyun lets out a sound of surprise before looking at the lord who smiles apologetically. Youngho caresses the inside of his wrist with careful fingers, “I am fine. Just…just stay here for a while, if you don’t mind.”
His eyes, oh heavens above, Jaehyun’s eyes.
They soften and Youngho knows in his bones that when he heard the cries of a young man that one fateful night, it was the sound of his soulmate calling for him.
When Jaehyun dropped from the cross, it was as though Youngho had offered him his heart and soul and the mage had not returned it since that day. But it is a delicate thing, the matter of the heart.
Jaehyun who had faced so much pain that Youngho welcoming him to his property and supplying him anything his heart desired, could not heal even a fraction of it.
The mage had poured his magic, his being, into the estate. If Youngho shared his feelings, his intense longing and adoration, what position would he put Jaehyun in?
He would feel forced to reciprocate because Youngho was his saviour and his home held too much of his magic.
Or he’d leave. He’d sacrifice the parts of him left in the estate and run far away from Youngho’s heart.
In both cases, Jaehyun would give up too much because of Youngho’s indiscretions. Youngho couldn’t afford to inflict such pain on someone he only wished to worship. So he kept his feelings locked tightly in his chest.
He only allows himself to dream of what Jaehyun would look like in his bed. How his magic would make him glow when he comes undone by no one but Youngho. It only exists in his mind, images of Jaehyun’s porcelain mask cracked by a raging blush or gasping sounds of pleasure into the air. Youngho has fantasized of the path his hands would take down Jaehyun’s body under the glazed, lust-driven stare of his sorcerer. His sleepy smile, his gentle love, his dreamy disposition when the magic takes total control only live in the folds of Youngho’s head.
For he is a knight, a lord, he must act with honour and dignity.
A finger taps the side of his head, “Where have you gone?”
Daydreaming about filling your life with so much love that you’d forget any pain you’ve ever felt, is what he wished he could say.
“Thinking about the roast beef that the kitchen staff are keeping warm for us.”
Jaehyun glowers at him and Youngho wants so badly to touch his fingers to his lips to mould them into a smile, maybe even pull the dimples out, “you haven’t eaten yet?”
“Had to wait for you, didn’t I?” He muses with a boyish grin. Jaehyun’s eyes widen and his cheeks begin to redden but Youngho is sure that he isn’t the cause of it. He couldn’t be.
“For a knight so decorated, you are an imbecile, Youngho.”
Yes, Youngho figures that he is.
——
Jaehyun finds himself in a tree.
It’s not hyperbole or a simile or a man being overly dramatic.
It’s a nice day, the skies are clear, the flowers in the gardens are sweetly aromatic in the air and Jaehyun is in deep need of a change in scenery. Sometimes the brick walls get too cold and the smell of herbal potions and burning magic makes his head twist in pain.
So he steps onto the grass in the courtyards, squints at the harsh rays of the sun before looking up at the tall willow tree. He bites down on the stalk of Yarrow and climbs the trunk of the tree until he finds a sturdy enough branch to stretch out on.
It’s nice and peaceful. He spends about an hour reading through rejuvenation spells before he drifts off, his book split over his face. He can’t remember how much time passes until he hears an irritatingly unfamiliar voice piercing through his subconscious.
“Hey! Hello? Are you sleeping?”
Jaehyun clenches his jaw tight and tries to ignore the incessant calling but it’s to no avail when he continues to chatter away, “Are you awake?”
Jaehyun sighs and lifts the book high enough to look down at the ground where a cherub-looking boy is standing, “What.”
“You’re the sorcerer, right? The one that puts the casting spells on us?”
Jaehyun narrows his eyes at the boy, “what do you want?”
He can see him shift nervously on the balls of his feet, “I need some help.”
“How unfortunate for you,” Jaehyun mutters before returning the book to his face.
“I need your help,” he rephrases, hoping to get into his good graces.
Jaehyun just drawls bored, “are you offering to donate virgin blood for my spells?”
“I—that’s dark magic! You are not a witch!” the boy exclaims, but the uncertainty is clear in his tone.
The corners of Jaehyun’s lips twitch upwards, “now, how can you be so sure? You’ve never seen me concoct my spells nor have you seen what ingredients I infuse with my Mana, deary. I might have a black cat as my familiar. You have no way of knowing, youngling.”
“Sir Y-Youngho said you were a good mage. That you only practice white magic,” he says indignantly.
The name of the lord causes Jaehyun to pause and lift the book off his face to properly stare the boy down, “and do you believe everything your foolish leader spews?”
“About you? Yes! No one here knows you better.”
His comment makes Jaehyun stop and think, because the words are startlingly true. No one in Jaehyun’s life knows him better than Youngho does. He has no parents nor siblings, not since they abandoned him once magic poured out of his palms. No one knows him here longer than Youngho has.
And if he were to lose him, Jaehyun would truly have no one left.
“Um, hello? Did you hear me?” The meek voice calls out.
Jaehyun flinches before shooting him a withering look while plugging his ears, “Ugh, why are you knights so loud? Do you know how hard it is to get some decent sleep these days? You lot lack all tact and finesse. You’re just a group of barbarians banging your chests with your fists. This is what happens when you have no intellect and just your brute to wear like a cheap badge of honour.”
“Sir Youngho says that when you start hurling insults is when you’ve decided you’re going to help.”
Medusa, he hates how well Lord Seo knows him. That smug bastard.
Jaehyun grits his teeth tightly, “What could you possibly need from me?”
“We’re trying to dye all of Sir Youngho’s cloaks lavender as a joke but we can’t seem to get the colour to stain on his leather. Do you know a spell that could help us?”
Jaehyun sits up and stares down at the boy with something akin to unbridled fury, “You want me to use my Mana, my magic, that’s intrinsically tied to my lifeforce to play a joke on your leader? The highly-respected leader of your clan? You want me to exhaust myself and put myself in peril for your amusement?”
He blinks owlishly up at him “Yes.”
“That’s insubordination,” Jaehyun points out firmly.
The young knight seems unbothered with a cavalier shrug of his shoulders, “Perhaps, but lavender is his favourite colour, he told us. He might see this as a favour.”
How strange, Jaehyun thinks.
Lavender is his favourite colour. He told Youngho this one day when he used his mortar and pestle to grind lavender petals for a potion he was brewing.
Jaehyun gracefully jumps off the brace and lands on the ground with only a little sting to his ankles. He pulls his hood up over his head and stares straight ahead, “Well? What are you standing around for? Take me to his wardrobe.”
——
His Mana is begging him to sleep. It’s calling out to him, pleading Jaehyun to shut his eyes, to take rest, to recover. But he couldn’t, not after what he had been told.
The Red Seal Quest.
Tasked to slay a den of dragons whose species were so powerful that to kill one would be a feat upon itself, Youngho is to depart with his cavalry in a fortnight.
The bounty is so large that most of the land would have enough to take care of their families for a month. Jaehyun can understand why Youngho agreed to such a dangerous voyage, it is in his title and his reputation to do whatever possible for the land.
But that doesn’t make it any easier for Jaehyun to digest.
In two weeks Youngho may leave and never return.
Jaehyun will lose as much sleep as he needs to ensure that Youngho does return. That he pours enough magic into him and his weapons that the mere touch would obliterate any monster in his way.
He cracks open another book, one that Youngho had brought him from an expedition years ago. The words are swirling on the page but he squints hard, ignoring the pulsing in his head. Somewhere in these books had to be a protection spell strong enough to protect the men, to protect Youngho.
He blinks squeezing his eyes tight but when they open, the words on the page jumble further, blurring entirely. The pain is becoming unbearable but he just needs a little more—
A hand comes tight around the back of his neck, squeezing before letting go and in an instant, everything wound tight in his body seeps into little human-shaped puddles, his muscles falling slack.
Ah, ahh, licorice and oak.
He wants it on the expensive silk that Youngho demanded his bed be covered in even though Jaehyun was fine with just cheap cotton. Youngho lavishes him when all he has to offer is magic that takes years to hone and forever to perfect.
And still, Jaehyung wants Youngho pressed up against him, imprinting his cologne into his skin. Oh, he just wants Youngho, alive, warm. His.
“Jaehyun, what are you doing awake so late?” A familiar voice stabilizing his vision aches over him.
The young sorcerer slurs out a half-awakened response until the grip behind his neck tightens again, more grounding. Jaehyun sighs and sinks into his hold, letting Youngho hold him up.
“Now, now, don’t fall asleep sitting up, mage.”
Like a shot of adrenaline, Jaehyun sits up and snaps out of his daze and flinches out of his grasp, “S-Sorry.”
Youngho’s hand trails from the back of his neck but stays on his spine, “What is all of this? Light reading?”
Jaehyun pulls his hood up and lifts a feather quill before underlining a specific phrase, “Research.”
“I’m sure it can wait until morning,” Youngho said softly while trailing his fingers up and down his spine.
Jaehyun scrubs a fist through his hair, “How did you even know I was awake?”
“Your lights are on and can be seen from across the land, this tower is like a beacon.”
“Well, you should’ve considered that before building a bloody tower attached to a castle in the middle of a moat,” Jaehyun grumbles despite the smile that never leaves Youngho’s lips.
Youngho chuckles, a sound rough that sends sparks up Jaehyun’s face, “You needed privacy and wanted solitude. In case you haven’t noticed, this estate lacks that greatly.”
“So you built an extension?” He snaps without bite.
“For you, yes.”
Jaehyun moves to glare at Youngho only to turn and find him so daringly close to his face. Youngho’s hand feels heavy on his back and Jaehyun wishes he would just grip him.
“Why are you researching so late into the night, mage?” Youngho asks scoldingly.
Jaehyun ground his teeth together, “Because you are foolishly planning on taking on a den of dragons and I need to prepare! Medusa only knows that the clan of you share one collective brain cell, I need to ensure no one comes back dismembered.”
He hears the sharp inhale Youngho takes next to him before Youngho’s head falls onto his shoulder, “That is not your responsibility to bear.”
“Of course it is, why else would you have brought me here? Built me a tower? Shower me with rare scrolls and expensive gifts if not for my magic and its ability to protect those of this estate?”
“Mage.”
A gasp chokes out of Jaehyun’s throat when Youngho’s lips brush his neck with his words, “I don’t ask much from you. When you tell the aides to purchase tools and herbs that cost a large fortune I never ask for your rationale. When you insist on wearing nothing but black tunics and wool cloaks, I never demand you change. I don’t ask you to follow our itinerary or take meals with the others. I have often heard that it is not I who is the lord of the estate but you, and I don’t bother correcting them. But I do ask one thing of you, Jaehyun. I ask that you dispose of the thought that the only reason you are here is to fulfil my desire to use your magic for my own gain.”
Jaehyun trembles, every graze of Youngho’s lips leaves scars across his neck.
He can see the faded lavender leather sash belted across his chest when he glances over. With every wash, its color dulls but the memory of Youngho’s expression of disbelief and thinly veiled fondness when he opened his closet stays permanent in Jaehyun’s memory.
He made his battalion run two dozen laps as punishment while simultaneously having the kitchen staff prepare Jaehyun’s favourite dessert for dinner, much to the chagrin of the other knights.
“Then what is my purpose?” Jaehyun mutters as his knuckles turn white. His Mana is jittery, ready to burst through the thin layer of skin.
Youngho trails his nose up the side of Jaehyun’s neck before smiling against the sorcerer’s ear, “your purpose is to join this bumbling clan that I call a family.”
The lord lifts his head and meets the gaze of Jaehyun. He is sure it isn’t his fatigue or the manic spin of his Mana, Jaehyun is sure Youngho glances at his lips before thinking better of whatever crosses his mind. He pulls back, suddenly frigid with his body heat so far.
“I will be okay, Jaehyun. This is my duty and I have spent my whole life preparing for it,” Youngho says after a moment too long passes.
Jaehyun keeps his fluttering pulse at bay before shaking his head, “That isn’t enough for me.”
“Go to your room, Jaehyun. It seems a waste to have imported such an expensive bed for you if you keep falling asleep atop your books,” Youngho said firmly.
Jaehyun nodded halfheartedly, “Leave your sword behind when you leave, will you? I want to test spell castings on it.”
Youngho lets out a long-suffering and dramatic sigh before standing, “as you wish. Try sleeping a few hours?”
Jaehyun waves him off before turning back to his texts, he does not retreat to his room until the sun rises.
He will forfeit rest for Youngho’s safety. It is not even a question worth entertaining.
——
Youngho doesn’t know how to stay away from Jaehyun, not on a regular day and even more so when he’s worried about him. It’s hard for Youngho to change Jaehyun’s mind when he’s set on something and he rarely tries to convince him otherwise anyways.
But Jaehyun can really claw into Youngho’s nerves.
The sun is meant to rise in a few hours when Youngho walks up the winding staircase in Jaehyun’s tower to check on him. For a man with the rare gift of Mana and magic, Jaehyun can be irresponsible and careless with his own body. His tenacity is a painfully attractive side of him but an equally frustrating one.
Youngho toes the creaky doors open, wincing at the loud groan of the aged wood before peeking his head in. As much as he hopes to find the room dark and empty, he isn’t surprised when he finds Jaehyun in the same position he was in before.
He sighs and steps into the room, weaving around stacks of books and herbs, and crouches down next to the mage. He is fast asleep, hunched over in a way that will undoubtedly lead to a crick in his neck when he wakes. Youngho pinches at Jaehyun’s hair, rolling the strands between his finger. He scans over Jaehyun’s desk, ensuring there isn’t anything alive or brewing before tucking his arms under the mage’s knees and across his back before lifting him up.
Youngho adjusts him in his hold so that Jaehyun’s head rests comfortably against his collarbones. He can stop the shivers that run down his spine when he feels the evened, warm breaths puffing out from Jaehyun’s lips. Youngho tries not to think too much about how badly he aches for that breath against his mouth.
He moves quickly, carrying Jaehyun out of his study room and towards his bedroom.
“Lord Seo?”
Youngho looks over to where a young knight stands, glancing between Jaehyun and him while twisting his hands, “Yes, Jeno, what is it?”
“Uh, some of the soldiers were looking for you. Dawn training is about to begin.”
“I’ll be running late. Let them start without me,” Youngho orders.
Jeno is relatively new to the court, only a year or so under his belt. Youngho likes him because he keeps his head down and focuses on getting the job done. But a side effect of that work ethic is a lack of social awareness.
Jeno bows sharply, “Yes, sir. I will notify the court that Lord Jung is feeling unwell.”
Youngho says nothing and just stares blankly as Jeno scurries away.
Lord Jung.
Youngho’s heart flips once, twice, three times, at the name. This would not be the first time Jaehyun was mistaken as a Lord, his Lord, but it was the first time it was a mistake his own men made. The title rolls around in his head as he tries to stop himself from running away from his responsibilities with Jaehyun in his hands.
Oh, what he would give to make his mage his Lord.
He moves on autopilot as he continues to Jaehyun’s bedroom so that he could slip him under expensive blankets. Youngho finds a thick wool blanket draped over a chair but he freezes when reaching for it because he recognizes the blanket.
It’s his.
He used to wrap himself up with it during the winter and hadn’t noticed it going missing during the spring. Jaehyun must’ve either snuck into his bed chambers and stolen it or intercepted some of the maids and pilfered it from the laundry room. Youngho’s eyes fluttered shut as he forced himself to steel his nerves that felt electrified, whenever Jaehyun did things like this, it would blur Youngho’s boundaries and give him the cursed poison called Hope. He wants so badly for Jaehyun to crave his warmth and be able to give it willingly.
Youngho swallows the stone in his throat and grabs the thick knitted fabric and carefully covers Jaehyun with it, making sure he’s nested comfortably and warmly. He pulls Jaehyun’s hood down and leans over, brushing his lips against Jaehyun’s forehead. Allowing himself this one moment.
“Sleep well, my love.”
——
Weeks later finds Jaehyun racing down the spiralling staircase while gripping the sheathed sword in his hand. He flies through the hallways passing by knights who likely had never seen his face before, ignoring their whispers or surprised cries.
Most of these men only know him through rumours and speculation, surely some fear his powers. He rarely spares them more than a few sarcastic quips or a bored response whenever he has to interact with them.
They do not know him as Youngho does. They do not know him exhausted and drained from casting spells that protect them or how his face looks stuffed with bread after having missed multiple meals. They do not know how his hands look covered in ink or his aura when his Mana is radiating off of him.
But he pays no heed.
He rushes through the castle, his magic urging to run faster, licking after his feet as he shoulders the heavy wooden doors open and breaks into the front courtyards. Dozens of men are loading their carriages with rations for the trip. The air is buzzing with energy but there is an aftertaste of grief.
Jaehyun has cast a spell over all of them that took 4 days to complete and he is currently barely holding himself up on his two feet. But he needs to find Youngho. He weaves through the men searching for the one that stands a head taller.
He is exhausted and hungry, he wants nothing more than to sleep for hours but he needs to find that idiotic, moronic, gas lamp of a knight that was so foolishly given the title of a Lord.
Before his anger reaches unretrievable bounds, a large hand grips his arm and pulls him under the shadows of the estate, “What the fuck are you doing up and about?”
Jaehyun blinks up at Youngho’s coarse tone but there is only deep-seated concern in his eyes, “I know the extent of the spells you cast on me and my men, you shouldn’t be walking around. You are clearly exhausted. How are you even awake?”
“Y-You nearly forgot your sword. Do you know how hard I worked on it? I will not let it go to waste,” Jaehyun explained, out of breath.
Youngho looks incredulous but he accepts the sword gratefully, “Thank you, Jaehyun, sincerely. But you need to rest.”
“I hear the expedition will take a month. I will expect you to return by the next moon?”
He knows he is uselessly optimistic but he hopes, he hopes even when Youngho cannot return a smile or look him in the eyes, “I have no timeline, I can make no promises.”
Jaehyun’s hands shake as he steps close and grips onto the lord, his saviour who looks every bit a salvation as when he first laid eyes on him, “B-But you will at least promise to return, right?”
Youngho looks so devastated when he lifts his head that Jaehyun refuses to let him speak. Refuses to let reality leave his mouth.
He decides to instead replace it with his own.
It’s a blur of motion, Jaehyun leaning forward enough to catch Youngho’s lips with his, draw him in until his shock evolves into reciprocation.
Jaehyun’s magic, his Mana, cannot compare to this.
Youngho’s sword clatters carelessly on the ground so that his hands can hold Jaehyun’s face allowing his body to pitch forward and press his sorcerer into the brick wall behind them. He reaches for any inch of him that he can, with no other goal in mind other than to feel this moment forever. His lips consume him, his soft tongue stokes fires that were only ever-present as embers. Jaehyun’s fingers dip into the thick waves of Youngho’s hair, gripping and tugging on it to pull him as close as possible.
Their mouths slide, slick, wet and hot as words too heavy to speak were swapped with tongue and teeth.
“Jaehyun,” he gasps his name like a holy prayer, an oath, an offering all while clawing at the younger man.
Youngho sounds like heaven and Jaehyun simply wants nothing more than to float away with him. He is in love in every way that one could be. He has given himself to Youngho, piece by piece, every drop of Mana inside him.
He is Youngho’s.
And though Youngho may not be his, he will always be the one to occupy Jaehyun’s consciousness. He smooths his palms over the armour on Youngho’s shoulders and down his sturdy back. He can feel the power coursing through his body in the same way Youngho could surely feel the Mana in his.
His Youngho.
His.
His.
His.
Youngho’s long fingers trail down his neck, thumb brushing his pulse before he clasps his jaw and separates their mouths with a wet part. They both struggle to catch their breaths, lips swollen red and properly kissed.
He leans his head against Jaehyun’s forehead before opening his eyes, dark and full of intent. Youngho’s grip on his jaw is firm and commanding and Jaehyun just wants to melt. Whenever he’s on the brink of fainting from exhaustion, he yearns for Youngho’s tight, controlling, rough hold on him, guiding him, moving him so that he didn’t have to do it himself.
“Jaeh—“
“Come back for me,” he whispers into his mouth, “if for nothing else, then come back for me.”
——
A month.
A full moon cycle.
30 nights.
Enough time for Jaehyun to imagine a million scenarios that all left Youngho broken and bleeding, his body trampled by dragons a hundred times his size. Any attempt to study or experiment with spells was futile. His mind was off in the dragon dens that even his Mana and magic couldn’t reign him back.
30 nights of closing his eyes and replaying the feeling of Youngho’s mouth claiming his and his hands on his body. His magic thrummed and ebbed through his system as he envisioned the lurid darkness in Youngho’s eyes, aching to see it again in person.
See him again in person.
He waited, tireless days, half out of his mind that he had even gone as far as befriending the other new recruits who he had run into during a meal and who had dragged him out ever since. One by the name Jeno going as far as chucking little stones through the window of his tower until annoying him into sharing company.
And soon with loud, incessant chattering causing the sun to rise and set faster than normal, the month ended and Jaehyun knew better to expect Youngho to arrive as scheduled. He had said that he couldn’t conform to a timeline and Jaehyun had taken his word.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have.
Perhaps that would’ve been better than this.
His Mana senses their return first, buzzing through his body. The sheer amount he had dispelled when he charmed Youngho’s army was so great that his Mana compels him to the windows to catch sight of the horses stampeding towards them.
And there, leading the charge is Youngho. His Mana knows, his body knows.
A stunned laugh escapes Jaehyun as he races for the doors. He returned!
His love returned!
He has imagined their reunion over and over in his head. He imagined running into his arms, being lifted from the ground. Maybe he will not even wait. Maybe he will whisk Jaehyun away under the shadows again.
Maybe they will finally address this — feeling — between them.
Jaehyun steps onto the gravel outside the steps leading to the estate and looks up at Youngho seated on his stallion before confusion riddles his senses.
For Youngho is not seated alone.
“Did you not hear,” someone says, “Sir Youngho has brought back a woman to marry.”
——
Sofia is her name.
Not that Jaehyun bothers to learn her family name nor her status, he never bothered himself with such matters anyway. What he does glean is that when the army had successfully annihilated the den, neighbouring towns had heard and a noble had presented his daughter’s hand.
And clearly, he accepted as he brought her to his land. To his estate.
Jaehyun doesn’t speak when everyone is shepherded into the dining room for a grandiose celebration. He feels his body separate from his soul and even his Mana is spinning around with his confusion.
Jeno finds his arm and squeezes his elbow with an understanding smile. Jaehyun had not disclosed much to the younger knight but what else could he assume when the only person he had interacted with was Youngho. One glance at Jaehyun and all his feelings would be as clear as day on his face.
The young one might not know that it’s love and that watching a beautiful woman sit next to Youngho, smiling up at him feels like heartbreak. But he figured Jeno knows enough.
Instead, Jaehyun just smiles back, pulls his hood over his silver strands and tucks himself at the end of the dinner table. He’s sandwiched between two men burly enough to hide behind and keeps his head down. He nurses the glass of wine, his appetite otherwise gone, the taste tart and acrid down his throat and pretends he doesn’t feel Youngho’s penetrating gaze on him.
“I think our reclusive sorcerer deserves a toast,” someone yells.
Jaehyun winces and tries shrinking in on himself as the attention turns to him.
He is not their sorcerer.
He is only Youngho’s.
“Salute!”
Everyone raises a glass but Jaehyun keeps his eyes down and takes a heavy swig from his as the men around him cheer.
“Oh! You were the one who cast the spells? I’ve heard rumours that the Seo cavalry had a mage. Leo Seo spoke so highly of you and how your spells saved them,” Sofia says with a polite smile.
Jaehyun lifts his head for the first time and stares at her, demure and pleasant and everything he isn’t. He can only imagine how hard Youngho was staring at him. A sour curdling weight hangs heavy in his gut, “Rumours?”
“O-oh, just that you were brought onto the estate to assist with protection spells or something of the sort. Like a magical blacksmith,” she titters with a laugh.
Jaehyun can’t fathom to spare Youngho a look.
She’s right, isn’t she?
No matter how Youngho placates him with saccharine words, had he not been nearly burned at the stake for his powers, the lord would’ve taken no notice of him. His heart, what little of it was left, crumbles away. He has given so much of himself to a man that tossed him away too easily. A man who only ever needs him for the Mana pulsing inside him. If he died would he mourn him?
How will he ever be whole now?
He lets out a dry laugh that comes out as a scoff, “I suppose you’re right. Although hidden up in my tower hoarding spells and magic, you’d think I was the dragon to be slayed.”
Sofia’s smile becomes awkward, he imagines she’s realized that she had misspoken somewhere but no one corrects her.
Not even Youngho, who swore up and down that he was more than his magic, just sits there and—
“He is more than a magical blacksmith. He is my closest friend.”
Jaehyun can’t help but throw his head back to bark out a laugh at Youngho’s outlandish claim. This was worse than complicit silence. A friend? He was never just Youngho’s friend and he is a coward to call him that.
The temperature drops in the room and the men pretend to be fascinated with the meat on their plates but Jaehyun has lost all taste in his mouth.
“Pardon me,” he whispered before pushing his chair back, “I am not feeling too well.”
He makes no other excuse and just leaves the table to crawl back to his tower.
He barely shuts the door behind him when it flings back open with Youngho standing tall, chest rising and falling with each breath.
“Jaehyun, please hear me out. It’s not what it seems.”
He smiles at Youngho, “You have nothing to explain, Lord Seo. You are to be wed, how exciting.”
“Don’t call me that,” Youngho pleads as he steps closer but when he gets too close, Jaehyun’s Mana pushes his magic out to stop Youngho from nearing.
“Why not? The others call you that. Minhyung and Jeno call you that and I am to you what they are to you, aren’t I?”
“Jaehyun, please.”
“And congratulations on your engagement, you have picked a fine bride. She looks pretty, your children will be a sight to behold.”
“Stop,” Youngho spits out, “you’re being cruel.”
Jaehyun’s eyes fill with his tears and his jaw locks as he lashes out, “Cruel? You are the cruellest amongst us. I kissed you first, Youngho, that is my fault but you kissed me back. You held me, you touched me, you moaned my name and the first time I see you after a month of worrying if you were alive is with a bride! That is cruelty.”
“I don’t want her.”
“Then why is she here!?” He yells and his Mana is agitated, glass bowls rattling around them.
Youngho clenches his hands by his sides, “Her father offered her hand, I was doing the honourable thing.”
“Answer my question.”
Youngho holds his hands out as if Jaehyun is feral, “She needed an escape. Her father is overbearing and controlling. Her other prospects were men twice her age who care not for what she wants. I had to save her.”
“And isn’t that what you’re so good at? Saving people? Will you push her to the side when another wounded animal lands at your doorstep?” Jaehyun sneers with so much venom in his tone that even he feels poisoned.
Youngho’s eyes are scared but firm. He can see this starting to slip through his fingers and he has nowhere to go, “You are not being fair.”
“Why should I be? You saved me too, Youngho, why wasn’t I enough for you?! Why did you need to find someone else to marry?!” Jaehyun explodes, his voice louder than he had ever heard it.
Silence ricochets off the walls and Youngho’s eyes are wide at his confession. Jaehyun wants to hide. He hopes a black hole opens under him and swallows him.
He kissed Youngho and yet the idea of having affections for him was so out of the realm of possibility that he has the nerve to look surprised.
Youngho’s breath shudders and Jaehyun feels his energy draining from holding up the force field, so he lets it drop.
As does the pretence.
Jaehyun’s voice is disarmingly calm when he speaks, “It may be displeasing to hear but I have loved you from the minute you pulled that blindfold off my face, Youngho. You had me, all of me from that very moment. My feelings are mine alone, but the last thing you did before you left for a month was reciprocating my kiss. You were wrong for that if you wanted to accept a stranger’s proposal.”
“L-Let me come closer, please. Let me make this right,” Youngho knows the force field is gone but he still asks for permission because he is considerate and flawed and Jaehyun doesn’t have it inside of him to be just another endangered soul for the man with a hero complex to save.
Jaehyun is resigned when he shakes his head, a cold wall of ice forming around him, “I think you should go back to your bride, Youngho. And I think it best that we forget what has transpired between us. From now, please only seek me out when you need a spell cast. I’m sure the wedding preparations will need more of your attention.”
Youngho stands by the door long after Jaehyun turns his back to him and when the mage finally looks over his shoulder, Youngho is gone.
——
Jaehyun and Youngho don’t speak, largely because Jaehyun makes it his duty to stay as far away from the Lord as possible. He can’t breathe whenever he sees the look in Youngho eyes, it feels as though his lungs are being torn to shreds.
So he dances gracefully out of his view whenever he nears which is an easy accomplishment when his Mana senses his presence, acting as a warning alarm.
Jaehyun knows that Youngho is with his men training in the back fields so he ventures out in the courtyard, massaging his temples as his Mana spins nausea-inducing cyclones in his chest. To have Youngho so close to him but not enough to fulfil its missing parts.
“I fear that I’ve offended you at dinner, mage Jung.”
Medusa, he’s never heard someone call him that.
He turns and to his displeasure, he finds Sofia standing near him with a look of unease on her face. He abhors the guilt he feels for her. She had done nothing wrong, she doesn’t know of the relationship between him and Youngho, nor did she have many choices when her hand was offered to Youngho.
If what he said was true, she had escaped a hellish life.
“You did not offend me, Lady Sofia. Don’t be preposterous.”
She gives him a tense smile which tells him that he sounded just as disingenuous as he feared, “Lord Seo spoke a great deal about you on our travels.”
“Really? I apologize on his behalf. You must’ve been bored half to death,” he deadpans.
She giggles gracefully and Jaehyun can’t help but think of how he wishes to be anywhere but here, with this woman.
“Hardly,” she says, “all he would talk about was how it was your spells that protected his men and allowed them to clear the mission. That without you, none of them would be alive and he owed you a life debt.”
Jaehyun’s face tensed, “He tends to over-exaggerate. It’s in his nature as a knight.”
“Why is it so hard for you to see that Lord Seo adores you?”
The mage takes a sharp breath in and whirls around to stare at her, “I beg your pardon?”
She looks at him almost sadly, “It’s as if you choose to not see what is in front of you.”
“And what is in front me, pray tell Lady Sofia?” His anger licks up his muscles like a spring-loaded cannon, “all I see is the bride of the estate. The future Lady Seo. What exactly do you expect me to see and why on earth would you want me to see it? What good would it do for me?”
She gulps but is unmoved by his rage, “You want him, don’t you?”
“It must be so blessed to live in your head, Lady Sofia,” he spits out, “you speak as if you know everything but you have not been here long enough to see the sunrise and set and yet you have the gall to speak to me as if you know where my scars are.”
Sofia trembles but there is a firm set in her eyes, “Am I wrong, mage Jung?”
“Why does it matter? Do you want me to tell you that I want something that you have been promised? Will that make you feel powerful over a lowly mage? To hear me confess that my magic is nothing in comparison to the husband you will one day have, is that it?”
Sofia reaches up and slowly cups his face, forcing him to freeze in his spot. She thumbs at tears he hadn’t even realized he was shedding. Her face is filled with so much empathy and understanding despite the vitriol that he spills on her skin.
He is so sorry but so angry.
“How could you be lowly when the Lord sees you as a God?” She whispers and Jaehyun’s shoulders shake when she continues, “and how can one compete for a man whose heart and soul already belongs to another?”
He is close to falling to pieces in the hands of a stranger when suddenly his Mana starts chittering and he hears distant footsteps.
“Lady Sofia? Are you here?”
Jaehyun is brought back to the present at the sound of Youngho’s voice and he rips himself out of her grasp, “You do not know me and you are wrong Lady Sofia.”
Before she can speak, he spins on his heel and races back into the castle to take refuge in his tower.
——
Jaehyun thinks life moves in a funny pattern.
It strings you up to allow you to taste euphoria before letting you plummet to the ground with nothing to break your fall.
Jaehyun lays on the ground and stares up to the ceiling, wondering where that little boy who trusted no one and was foreign to love went. How did he allow himself to be lulled by the security and promise of a warm home that Youngho presented?
Was he that desperate to escape death?
Days have passed since their argument and his conversation with Sofia. Jaehyun has not stepped foot outside his tower since. He doesn’t want to witness the wedding preparations. He just hides and tries looking into spells to remove Mana from the castle walls. If he successfully takes back some of his Mana, maybe he’d be able to leave this place behind without feeling empty.
He is interrupted one night when a stone sails through his opened windows with a rope tied around it. Curiosity peaked, he looks out the window to see Jeno standing at the base waving frivolously at him.
Jaehyun glares because it is late, he wants to drown himself in his misery in peace and the beaming grin on the young knight’s face is nearly painfully blinding. Befriending the others of the estate was a grave error on his part.
He watches as Jeno ties the other end of the rope to a basket before gesturing wildly for him to pull it up. The mage wonders if Jeno realizes that he isn’t trapped in the tower against his will like one of the princesses in those miserable fairytales. He doesn’t need to be snuck rations.
He can only pray to Medusa that he’s a better warrior than he is a logical mind.
Jaehyun humours him and pulls up the basket before setting it on the table. Jeno is gone when he looks back out the window so he works on opening the basket to sort through what is inside.
It takes one look for him to fall apart.
Wrapped in silk is a stack of books painstakingly selected on how to recover and heal from extensive Mana drain. Between the pages are dried flowers, and tied to a bookmark is a single silver ring.
Jaehyun wants to end this torture.
He can’t take anymore.
Grabbing the basket, he leaves the tower for the first time in ages and floats through the halls of the estate. Some knights stop and stare but most pretend to not seem him, it doesn’t bother him.
He has only one destination in mind.
Which is how he misses the complete lack of wedding festivities.
Jaehyun doesn’t knock on Youngho’s door, he flings it open and catches the lord with a towel slung over his bare torso and his hands on the buckle of his trousers, mid-step to his bath. The alarm on his face would be comical if Jaehyun had felt anything other than pain.
“What is this?” Jaehyun asks quietly, dropping the basket at his feet.
Youngho lifts the basket and Jaehyun takes a moment to let his eyes roam his bare chest. It is every bit bronzed and scarred as he had expected. His fingers begged to touch.
“I…I wondered where that went. How did you get it?” Youngho asks.
Jaehyun shakes his head, his patience wearing thin, “It doesn’t matter, just tell me the truth for once.”
“I found a bookstore in town, I bought those for you, I thought you’d need them because you are so awful at letting yourself heal,” Youngho explains easily and Jaehyun can imagine him lumbering through stacks of shelves handpicking the perfect ones for him.
“And the flowers?”
Youngho pushes his hair away from his face, “to convince you that the trip wasn’t as treacherous if I had time enough to pick and press flowers for you.”
“An—And the ring?”
Youngho’s throat bobs, “Before I met Sofia’s father, I had planned on giving that ring to you.”
“For what purpose?” Jaehyun challenges.
Jaehyun expects another unclear explanation to absolve Youngho of any commitment but the man just stares him down, unwaveringly, “to make you my husband. So that the next time I had to leave, you’d be comforted by the fact that I’d do whatever I could to come back to you.”
“And yet you came back to me with a bride,” Jaehyun says humourlessly but his heart throbs.
Youngho shakes his head, “you don’t understand. I thought I was doing the right thing and I figured that if I couldn’t have the one I wanted, I could at least help that woman who so badly wanted to escape.”
“You never asked what I wanted. You just assumed it was not you and found someone else,” Jaehyun accuses. It sounds too much like the fight they had before and he’s sick that they still won’t be able to come to a resolution.
“Sofia’s gone.”
Jaehyun freezes, his eyes pin on Youngho to read his expressions carefully, “What do you mean?”
“After the first night we returned and you and I…I told her that I couldn’t marry her and that although she was welcome to stay as long as she needed to make other arrangements, I could not go through with the wedding. She understood and had a friend take her away. She won’t be returning home, she will still be free without marriage,” Youngho admits as he slowly makes his way closer to Jaehyun.
Jaehyun trembles, his Mana flickering nervously, “why did you do that?”
“I didn’t think you were an option, Jaehyun. I couldn’t imagine you’d ever look at me in that manner. If ever I knew…if at any point you had indicated to me what you felt, Jaehyun, I would’ve moved heaven and hell for you, to be with you, to have you,” Youngho whispers with so much reverence and honesty that it terrifies Jaehyun to hear.
“I kissed you!” He exclaims incredulously, “what more could I have done to show you that I wanted you?”
“You thought I wasn’t going to come back. I thought I wasn’t coming back. I worried it was just a manifestation of your concern for my well-being. I was tortured for 30 days with the knowledge of what you taste like on my tongue and I feared that should I return alive, you’d regret kissing me,” Youngho pleads.
Tears pool in Jaehyun’s lashes, “no, I wanted you alive so I could kiss you again.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve ruined everything before it could ever start. I’ve caused the one thing I tried so hard not to. Please…just please forgive me. I beg of you to give me a second chance," Youngho’s voice cracks and he looks seconds away from falling to his knees.
Jaehyun tips his nose up at this, “I refuse.”
Youngho’s shoulders drop and his head hangs low in shame, “I understand.”
“You must make me.”
Youngho stills before slowly lifting his head, “Wh—“
Jaehyun’s eyes have grown dark, his lids heavy, “Make me forgive you.”
“How?” Youngho asks despite his fingers already flexing in and out of a fist as though he already knows his answer.
“Kiss me as you should’ve when you returned.”
It takes Youngho a fraction of a second to process Jaehyun’s command before he slams the sorcerer against the wall to lick at his mouth with the desperation and urgency of a man fighting for the only thing that truly ever mattered to him.
There is no timid testing of the waters, there are just open-mouthed, wet kisses that wipe Jaehyun’s mind clean. There is so much force in Youngho’s body and single-minded focus that he can do nothing but let him take control.
Just as easily, Jaehyun is put back together, piece by piece, by Johnny's hands, the cracks painted gold.
Jaehyun’s hands finally touch the skin of Youngho’s shoulders and slowly traipsing over the planes of his chest and the divots of his stomach with the teasing tips of his fingers. Youngho pulls away from his mouth and stares Jaehyun down out of breath and lips slick with spit, “And how was that?”
“More. Convince me more,” Jaehyun begs as if he had no other thought than Youngho’s plush reddened mouth. He digs his nails into the leather of Youngho’s belt and watches as the realization blossoms across his face.
He tips Jaehyun’s chin up and kisses the apples of his cheeks, “would you like to share my bed tonight?”
“Every night,” Jaehyun mutters.
He feels Youngho smile against his forehead before taking hold of Jaehyun’s hips and walking them back to the bed, “Every night. Share my bed every night for as long as you’ll have me.”
Jaehyun lets his cloak fall to the ground and they stumble forward until he is pushed down onto the bed, his hair splayed out around him like a silver halo. Youngho stares down at him, eyes moving down the body stretched out for him.
“Ever since I met you, it has always and only ever been you.”
Jaehyun blinks breathlessly at him before sitting up and pulling his tunic over his head and tossing it aside. A strangled sound escapes Youngho as he slides his hand down Jaehyun’s lean torso, tracing the muscle, digging into the tendons.
“Why on earth would a sorcerer need such a sinful body?”
Jaehyun hums deviously before hooking a finger into Youngho’s trousers, dragging it down until the dangerous cut of his hip is revealed.
“Perhaps to convince your people that a mere mage is worthy enough to be married to a lord?”
Jaehyun’s teasing is evident in his tone but his words set something off in Youngho. He kicks his pants and easily slides Jaehyun’s baggy ones off his legs before pinning him to the bed. He gasps at the overpowering sensation that comes with so much flesh pressed headily together. He straddles Jaehyun’s hips, the pair of them keening loudly when their cocks slide against each other.
Youngho grips the base of Jaehyun’s neck and pulls him up so that his back arches beautifully. He rolls his hips a few times before setting into a steady rhythm, “did you not hear me when I said that people call you the lord of the estate?”
“Youngh—ahh,” Jaehyun’s words trip over themselves into a moan as he scrambles to cling onto his lover.
Youngho’s voice is deep against his ear, “The way I am around you, the way I cater to your every need, spoil you with attention, put you above all else, they think it is you who is my betrothed.”
It’s too much, his words, his weight against his body, his smouldering love.
“And I would not have it any other way,” Youngho punctuates with a tight grind of his hips.
Jaehyun takes three sharp breaths before he lets out a desperate, whiney moan. He wants to speak, wants to give Youngho a piece of his mind but only moans are pulled out from him.
“Your magic? Your Mana? I care not for any of it. It’s you that I long for. That I need. I would gift you a country if you so asked, my love,” Youngho growls against his neck, sucking on the skin before laving his tongue against the bruise.
His lips carve a path down Jaehyun’s chest and beneath his mouth he can feel the micro-vibrations of his Mana. His lover is so powerful, so strong, so delicious in his wit, so perfect for him.
“I will lavish you with whatever you crave,” he swears.
“You,” Jaehyun forces out through clenched teeth, “all I crave is you.”
Youngho’s mouth wets at the waistband of his drawers and looks up at Jaehyun’s eyes glazed and fill with unadulterated lust, “you’ve always had me, my star. You’ve owned me the minute you set eyes on me.”
The sound Jaehyun makes is a whimper so pathetic to his own ears but it makes Youngho moan back to him. He manages to gather the strength to press his fingers into Youngho’s hair to make him pause.
“Sleeping with me, doing this with a sorcerer…it’s different than with a normal person. It’s more intense, you’ll have a piece of my Mana embedded in you. You won’t be able to get rid of it. You’ll long for me even if you don’t want to, even if you loathe me,” he manages to choke out as Youngho tongues over his drawers, right where his hardening cock rests.
Youngho hums like he’s enjoying the finest worldly delicacies, “then it’s comforting to know that I will long for you regardless of your Mana being in me and loathing you is outside the realm of possibility.”
The veins on Jaehyun’s neck are straining as he speaks, “Youngho, a-are you certain?”
“Allow me to show you just how certain I am.”
Jaehyun gasps and throws his head back his spine arching up as his Mana swirls and tightens over his muscles when Youngho takes him into his mouth. His body is throbbing, his Mana is so alight with power that a gentle glow begins to emit from under his skin like he has the sun in his heart.
The wet velvet warmth of Youngho’s mouth and tongue sets his Mana on fire, it consumes him. He wants to stay in here for the rest of eternity, pressed into the mattress by Youngho. Jaehyun feels like he’s floating, a sharp gush of indulgence flooding through his veins when Youngho pulls his lips off of Jaehyun’s cock and wrapped a tight hand around him.
“You’re so beautiful, my love. I’ve imagined for years what you’d look like in my bed, flushed, driven crazy by my hands, my mouth. You are every bit as breathtaking as I knew you’d be. So pretty, just made to be adored, worshipped,” Youngho stares up at him as if there is nowhere on the earth he’d rather be than with his mouth on Jaehyun.
Like it is a blessing to even be allowed to hover over his pliant body.
Jaehyun’s breaths start coming in short pants, his head heavy, as the pleasure inside him builds and builds and builds. He stands on the precipice of the end of the world and it’s just him and Youngho there.
“Let go, my sweet. The night is young, I have infinite ways to build an alter between your legs to pray before the sun rises. Take what you need, what you deserve. Don’t starve yourself of pleasure that belongs to you,” Youngho chants as he brings his mouth back to Jaehyun.
All it takes is Youngho stretching a hand up and grazing the pad of his thumb against his hardened nipple for him to hurtle over the edge. He curls into himself and lets out a drawn-out moan as Youngho continues wringing the last bits of his climax out of his body.
When the stimulation begins to sting, Youngho pulls away and Jaehyun slowly slides down the high as his breathing starts to even. His vision is still plastered white and his Mana still makes him glow like he’s lit up from the inside. He lets out incoherent sounds as Youngho slithers up his body to curve around him.
“I’ve seen some of the most magnificent art and not a single one can hold a flame to your face when you orgasm.”
Jaehyun groans and smacks Youngho weakly on his chest, “you’re incorrigible.”
Youngho hums with a smile and places tender kisses down the side of Jaehyun’s face and bites down on the crook of his neck. He shivers and gasps, looking over at his lover with hooded eyes. He licks his lips when he sees Youngho is still hard and his eyes are still heavy.
“May I?” He purrs.
Youngho doesn’t stop him, just watches his fingers circle his cock with hazy eyes, “I still haven't done everything I wanted to do to you, yet.”
“As you’ve said, the night is still young and I would like to have my fun, now. I feel as though I will perish if I don’t imprint my Mana into you,” Jaehyun muses as he sits up to drape himself over Youngho. His magic thrums where their skin touches, wanting more.
Youngho’s grins wickedly before smearing a kiss onto his lips and rolling onto his back, “Then do your worst, mage. Make me yours.”
Jaehyun mounts him and his Mana crashes over his body so startlingly that it almost starts to control his movements. He uses his mouth, tonguing the slit of Youngho’s cock and mapping out the veins that line the sides until he can’t string together a sensible sentence. He sinks down on him and works his hips until the mighty Knight, Lord Seo is nothing but a teary moaning mess.
He channels his Mana until the love of his life shares a sacred part of him and feels the core of their beings tie together.
And he’s never felt more invincible.
——
Years Past
When Youngho returns from his travels, Jaehyun can sense him before anyone at the estate can see through a finder.
His Mana reaches out to his lover until the other half of him reaches back.
Despite his long-awaited return and the tickle in his brain signalling his arrival, Jaehyun is buried so deep in spell casting that he doesn’t let it click. Roses have begun growing through the gaps in the stone after a failed propagation spell and his little kitten familiar is somehow half tabby and half black now.
It’s a bit of a circus as he walks his newly acquired apprentice through the most basic spells.
“Jaemin, you need to monitor the temperature. It’s just as important as the amount and order of ingredients. Remember this, you keep forgetting,” Jaehyun tuts.
The novice sorcerer came with a story similar to Jaehyun’s. He found him living on the streets, frail and shivering. Jaehyun’s Mana recognized Jaemin’s immediately and he knew that he could not return to the Seo estate without him.
Youngho said nothing when Jaehyun arrived with the boy, he just tilted his head, sized him up before having his staff draw a room for him. Youngho rarely questioned the wants and actions of his husband, he simply just provided.
His apprentice huffs while roughing his hair, “it’s impossible to remember all of it at the same time. My brain can’t balance it all at once.”
Jaehyun smoothes down the rowdy strands down and gives Jaemin a sympathetic hum. He remembers how he struggled to hone his powers all on his own. He never had his own mentor or formal teachings. He knew how hard it could be.
“With patience, time, and practice, it will come easily, Min. You don’t need to get it all on your first try, but you need to keep trying,” Jaehyun says gently.
Jaemin pouts and Jaehyun is not strong enough to resist pinching his cheeks, “Now come on, let’s try this one more time.”
“Perhaps your apprentice is in need of a break, my dearest husband.”
Jaehyun’s blood sings when he senses his Mana in Youngho’s body. He rolls his neck and looks over at his beloved. Any witty quip dies on the curve of his tongue when he sees Youngho after a 43-day expedition.
Medusa, he is the most handsome man in his existence.
His hair is so offensively long that he needs to tie half of it up and he seems even broader and more muscular than when he kissed him thoroughly in front of the estate doors. He’s leaning against the frame of the door with a smarmy grin, still wearing his armour.
“Jeno is outside and he so desperately needs a healthy dose of Na Jaemin,” Youngho says with a raised brow.
The colour of the tips of Jaemin’s ears is a dead giveaway and the startling similarity to his own story. A promising sorcerer falling so helplessly for the promising knight. A tale as old as time.
Jaemin looks pleadingly at Jaehyun for permission and he lets out a sigh before nodding. He lets out an excited sound before running to the door. He bows at Youngho, “thank you, Sir!”
Youngho hums and waits until Jaemin’s footsteps are distant echoes before floating over to his husband. He tucks his face into the crook of his neck, wraps himself around his body and takes a deep breath, “I missed you terribly, sunflower.”
Jaehyun’s eyes flutter close as he sinks into his lover’s embrace. His Mana feels whole, at ease, now that his other half is back with him, “As did I. The estate is frigid without you.”
“Hmm, my heart feels the same,” he murmurs against the mage’s ear.
Youngho lifts his head and grasps Jaehyun’s chin before tilting him left and right as if to fully drink in his features, “how have you gotten even more breathtaking?”
“A charmer, you are,” Jaehyun mumbles before stepping forward to close the gap between them.
Youngho grins before kissing him back, “I brought you back some books, mmhh— and this beautiful cloak. You’d look—ah, divine in it.”
Jaehyun presses a soft kiss under his jaw and purrs, “I’d look divine under you, my lord.”
Youngho chokes, an ungraceful sound escaping his throat. He pulls back and coughs while Jaehyun laughs, cheeks plush with a smile, “You! You are a menace.”
“And yet you love me so.”
“Yet I do. It’s all I’ve ever known.”