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Ume hadn’t noticed how hard she had fallen until it was far, far too late.
In her defense, she’d forgotten that she was allowed to fall in love again. She’d spent so long hung up on the past that she didn’t realize she could ever love anyone else. Akemi still had an iron grip on her beaten, broken heart, silky black hair and sapphire blue eyes still occupying every corner of her mind as she looked back on fond, fake memories with rose-tinted glasses.
And then she met Cielle.
Ume had been so nervous at first. Heck, she still is. Here she is, at the most prestigious school in almost the entire world, given a talent she didn’t deserve, surrounded by people who would hate her sooner or later, completely alone from the get-go. But then a few strawberry cupcakes and conversations later, and she had a friend. And then she had more friends, and then she finally felt safe for the first time in years. She didn’t even notice when she’d started to see Cielle as more than just her best friend (and she was still in shock that she was comfortable enough to call her even that), but it’s too late to go back now.
It starts out with little things, like her face heating up every time Cielle smiles at her. And then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger - her heart fluttering every time she so much as thinks about Cielle, offhanded thoughts like “wow, Cielle looks really pretty today”, daydreams of dancing under the cherry blossoms, the works. Ume hadn’t even realized it was love, but now that she has, she doesn’t know what to do. There’s no way her feelings would ever be returned. Cielle is amazing, she’s gorgeous, she’s perfect, and Ume’s just the nervous wreck who’s only good for cupcakes.
So here she is, hand poised to knock on the door of one of the only people she felt she could trust with this. Ume takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and knocks twice. She hears a muffled curse from behind the door before it swings open, revealing a very disgruntled Ultimate Detective.
“What the fuck do you- oh, it’s you. Come in.” Ume murmurs her thanks before following Jacob into his dorm, pulling an empty chair out and sitting down. Jacob sits back down at his own desk, sighing. “I’m working on a case right now, sorry if I seem distracted. Did you do your stretches today?”
Ume flushes, staring down at her hands clenched in her lap. “M-Most of them, yeah, but I didn’t get the chance to do my hands. I woke up a little late, and if I’d stayed behind to do them, I would’ve been late for class…”
Jacob groans, then holds his hand out next to him, not looking away from his work. “Then you’re not leaving until you’ve done those. Hand me your gloves.” Ume hesitantly slips her gloves off and gives them to him, wincing from looking at the rough, scarred skin on her hands, before sitting back down. “You remember everything you need to do, right?”
“Jacob, I’ve had to do these for four years. If I didn’t remember them, I think my physiotherapist would have killed me by now.” Ume kicks her legs out idly before pulling out her phone and setting a timer for one minute, bending her fingers straight at the knuckles to make what her physiotherapist had called a duck hand all those years ago when she was first learning to live again after the worst day of her life. “Ow…”
“I know it hurts, but you can’t afford to skip out on your hands. Your range of motion is too important.”
“I-I know… it’s just been a bad day in terms of, like, chronic pain. I could hardly walk this morning, my legs hurt so much.”
Jacob looks up then, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Do you need any painkillers or anything?”
Ume wants to shake her hands in front of her, but she’s focused on her stretches. Can’t disappoint him, can’t disappoint him, can’t disappoint him. “No, I’m fine. I’m used to it, remember?”
“If you say so.” Jacob spins around in his chair to face her right as the timer beeps. Ume restarts it, clenching her hands into fists this time, wincing from the pain in her knuckles. “So, why’d you come to see me?”
Ah. Right. She’d come here for a reason. “W-Well… um…” Her face is hot, and she looks down at her hands instead of at Jacob. “I just… I think I’m in love with Cielle.” Her words come out in one breath, and she squeezes her eyes shut in embarrassment.
When she opens them again, hesitantly peeking up to look at Jacob, he’s holding back a laugh. “H-Hey, don’t laugh at me-!”
Jacob gives up on keeping his composure and wheezes , keeling over in his chair. “Holy shit- Congratulations, Ume, you’re officially the last person to fucking know!!” He claps as Ume sputters. What did he mean?? “Oh my God, I thought you were never going to figure it out! Wick owes me ten dollars now!!”
The timer beeps again, and Ume almost gets away with ignoring her next stretches and retreating back into her shell before Jacob leans forward and pokes her in the forehead. “Nope, you’re not getting out of this that easily. Hook next, if I remember right.” Ume sticks her tongue out and restarts the timer, curling her fingers into the next exercise.
“Sorry it took me so long to realize, I just…” She leans back, staring at the ceiling. “She’s one of my best friends. I can’t ruin that because I fall in love too easily.” Her anxiety spikes, worst-case scenarios running through her mind as she tries to put her head in her hands while still maintaining the stretch. “Jacob, she could never feel the same way about someone like me. W-What if I tell her and she gets mad at me, or doesn’t want to be friends anymore- oh God, what if she yells at me or hurts me, or what if she doesn’t feel the same and she says we can still be friends, but then she starts distancing herself from me because I’m so gross for falling in love with her when she’s so amazing and I’m so horrible, oh no, oh no-”
“Jesus, I- Ume, calm down. Calm down, it’s going to be fine.” Jacob awkwardly pats her shoulder as she tries her best not to cry. She fails miserably. The timer beeps just in time for her to pull her glasses off and set them aside, digging the heels of her palms into her teary eyes.
“Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m distracting you from your work…”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry, really.” Jacob restarts the timer for her, and she instinctively moves into the next stretch, forming a diamond with her index fingers and thumbs and pressing until it’s long and narrow. “But how the hell could you ever think she doesn’t feel the same? For fuck’s sake, Ume, she calls you Cupcake.”
“But that could just be a friendly thing! Yvette uses nicknames for everyone, and she’s not in love with anyone… well, except for Adam, probably.”
“Yeah, Adam and Yvette really need to get their shit together, huh? But I promise there’s a difference between Yvette calling me a poodle-” -he spits out the word like it physically pains him to say (which it probably does)- “-with a shit-eating grin and Cielle calling you Cupcake and looking at you like you hung the moon.”
“Looking at me like I what?” Ume switches stretches and restarts the timer. “But I’m not anything like that. I’m annoying, and way too nervous, and I cry too much, and I-” She pauses her stretch to gesture to her entire body, specifically at her hands. “Look at me!”
“I am looking at you, dumbass. And I don’t see anything wrong apart from you really needing to go to therapy, or at least talk to Helio or something. How did your mental state even get this bad?”
“Um… probably the trauma and lack of anyone who cares about me outside of my family for the last 17 years or so…?”
“Fair point.” Jacob spins around in his chair after Ume switches to her next stretch, scooting back over to his desk and going back to work. “But I think you should tell her. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“She could hate me? I-I thought I already mentioned that. Besides, I don’t even know how I would tell her.”
“I don’t think Cielle could hate you if she tried. And just be yourself, for God’s sake.”
“But what if ‘myself’ isn’t enough? I-I’ve never been good at anything besides baking… also, I finished my stretches, can I have my gloves back? I feel sick just looking at my hands.”
“We need to get your self-esteem higher, Ume, Jesus Christ.” Despite his words, Jacob tosses her gloves back to her, which Ume slips on, sighing in relief once everything is covered again. “Just bake her something, if that’s the only thing you think you’re good at. It’s literally why she calls you Cupcake, isn’t it?”
Ume pauses. Baking could work. But what would she make? If she had her notebook with her, she could flip through and find something that was worthy of someone as amazing as Cielle. But instead, she starts running through everything she knew Cielle liked in her head. “Um… she likes strawberry cheesecake, I think… Maybe I’ll make her one. I’ll have to find a box, though…” She stands up, beginning to pace around the room. “I think there’s a park near here with a cherry tree, and it should bloom soon… maybe I could tell her there?”
“Wow, just a minute ago you were panicking over this and now here you are, planning a whole-ass shoujo anime confession or whatever they’re called.”
Ume pauses in her pacing, before giggling and scratching the back of her neck. “I-I guess I am. But I have to plan, it has to be absolutely, positively perfect!”
Jacob flicks his pen in her general direction. “Well, it’s getting late, so you can go plan in your own room, I gotta finish this shit up. Don’t stay up too late or I'll knock you unconscious myself.”
“Hehe, I know, I know. Thanks, Jacob. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“You fucking better.”
“But you gotta promise me that if I do confess that you’ll finally figure out whatever tension you have going on with Itsuki. Literally every time I see you two together, my gaydar goes nuts.”
“We’re just friends, asshole.”
“Jacob, for the love of God, you call him ‘Suki’, that’s literally how you say ‘I like you’ in Japanese-”
Ume cuts herself off with a yelp that quickly turns into a laugh as she dodges the pen that’s thrown at her head and quickly slips out of the room, closing it behind her. She hears more muffled curses from behind the door, but she just smiles, ignores them, and returns to her own dorm, already at her desk with her recipe notebook open in front of her.
~~~~~
She’s really doing this, then. Oh, God. Ume holds the box containing her confession close to her chest as the train rattles underneath her feet, doors hissing open once it stops at the station. Ume carefully sidles her way off of the train, murmuring apologies to anyone she has to slip past, and pays her fare before leaving the station and beginning to walk to the park. She’d asked Cielle to meet her there under the tree in the center at the end of class, giving her no context besides she “had to tell her something.” It wasn’t totally a lie, but the fact that Ume had to keep Cielle in the dark about her intentions leaves a pit in her stomach.
She holds the neatly wrapped box gingerly, terrified of damaging its contents. One more time, one more time. One more step forward, then another, then another. You can do this. Surprisingly, by the time she reaches the tree, Cielle is already sitting under it, giggling at something on her phone. When she looks up and notices Ume, her face lights up, and oh, God, she’s gorgeous like this, framed by the falling cherry blossoms and face graced with a smile so bright it could rival the sun. Ume feels her own face grow hot, and it doesn’t get any better when Cielle stands up, slips her phone in her pocket, and skips over to meet Ume halfway.
“Heya, Cupcake! Nice seeing you here!” Every word makes Ume’s heart beat a little bit faster. She’s really in deep, huh?
“A-Ah, hey, Cielle. I’m really glad you actually showed up, hehe…”
“‘Course I showed up, it’s you! And you sounded really serious when you told me to meet you here, so I didn’t wanna let you down, nyaha!” Cielle throws her arms behind her head, grinning. Ume can’t help but smile back, averting her eyes in a pitiful attempt to hide how flustered she is. Cielle seems to notice the box in her hands, then, because she pokes it with one finger. “Whazzat?”
“O-Oh, um-” Ume stumbles over her words, choosing instead to brush past Cielle and sit down under the tree, waiting until the other follows and sits down as well to continue. “Um, it’s a gift. I… I have something really important to tell you, a-and I’m scared you might get mad at me, so I guess this is a sort of… peace offering, if worst comes to worst. But I trust you, so it’s also just me wanting to do something nice, ahaha…”
“Aw, c’mon, I’m sure it’ll be fine, Cupcake. You can tell me anything, y’know.”
“Y-Yeah. I do.” Ume takes a deep breath, staring down at the box in her hands instead of at Cielle to avoid making herself even more anxious. “Um, we’ve been friends for a while now. And I really do want to stay on good terms with you, no matter how this goes. But, uh, I… I’ve started feeling different around you, but a good different. Like butterflies in my stomach different. A-And I… I think I’m in love with you. And you deserve to know, ‘cause you’re my best friend, so… yeah. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine and I won’t try to force you into anything you don’t want, but… I’d still like to stay friends.” Ume unwraps the box in her lap, then squeezes her eyes shut and holds it out towards Cielle.
When she’s met with nothing but silence, she hesitantly peeks one eye open. Cielle is staring at the cheesecake Ume had made for her, eyes wide. Her head snaps up once she realizes Ume’s eyes are open, and they make eye contact for a split second before Cielle stands up in a flash, fear clear on her face. “I- I have to go. See you in class tomorrow.”
And then she’s gone.
And then Ume’s alone.
She sits there for a few moments, stunned into silence. Then she sets the box down next to her in the grass, carefully draping the cloth she had wrapped over the top, obscuring the plastic window showing her one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made. She pulls off her glasses and sets them on top.
Then she pulls her knees up to her chin, curls into herself, and cries. She isn’t as loud as she had expected herself to be, but it’s probably because she doesn’t want to bother anyone else walking through the park. She hiccups, futilely wiping at her eyes, because suddenly she’s 15 again and crumbling onto the floor of her bedroom as someone whom she’d given her heart to reminds her just how horrible she is. She’s worthless, she’s disgusting, she’s awful, she’s everything that’s wrong with the world, how did she ever think this could go well? Why did she ever think she was worthy of Cielle’s love? She’s ruined everything. Cielle hates her now, probably. God. Fuck . What was she thinking? She’ll have to hide on the roof again, she’ll have to stay out of everyone’s way again, she’ll have to get used to being alone again. Goodbye fresh start at Hope’s Peak, hello dying alone and unloved. Just like she deserves.
Ume’s sobs are muffled by her hands, tears soaking through her gloves. Stupid, stupid, stupid, worthless, good-for-nothing piece of shit-
Someone’s in front of her. But she can’t recognize them through the tears, not to mention her glasses are still next to her. But she can recognize their voice. She can recognize the way they place their hand on her shoulder.
“Ume, name five things you can see.”
She makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Jacob, I can’t see anything, my glasses are off.”
“Who are you, Velma Dinkley? At least give me colors.”
Ume sniffles, subconsciously leaning into the touch on her shoulder as she slowly pries her hands away from her face. “Um… white clouds… the sky is blue… the grass is green… the cherry blossoms are pink, and… the tree trunk is brown.”
Jacob nods, or at least she thinks he does. “Alright, good. Four things you can feel.”
“Y-Your hand, the- the grass, the wind, the ground beneath me…”
“You’re doing great. Three things you can hear.”
“Your voice, my voice, the wind again.”
“Two things you can smell.”
“The cherry blossoms and the grass.”
“Alright, last one. One thing you can taste.”
“I-I can’t taste anything, uh-” At that moment, a single cherry blossom petal is blown into her mouth, making her splutter to get it out. She wipes at her mouth with the back of her hand. “Pwah- well, now I can. Cherry blossoms again.”
The corners of Jacob’s mouth quirk up ever so slightly. “There she is. Welcome back.” He coughs and stands up, offering Ume a hand which she takes gratefully.
He leans down and scoops up both the box and her glasses, handing her the latter, and they both begin walking towards the train station.
“Let’s get you back to the dorms. We’ll figure this out tomorrow.”
“…so you saw everything, then.”
“Yeah. I did. I promise it’s all going to work out, okay?”
“How can it? I ruined everything. She’s gonna hate me.”
Jacob pats her on the back as they reach the entrance. “Well, we’re gonna cross that bridge when we get to it, but I promise she doesn’t hate you. What we’re doing right now is going back to your dorm, making hot chocolate, and watching Steven Universe. What episode were we on last time?”
“Ah, um… just finished Barn Mates, I think. Next is Hit the Diamond… hehe, maybe seeing Ruby and Sapphire being cute will cheer me up. A-And it’s all about a baseball game, so I think you’ll like it too.”
“Hell yeah, space lesbians AND baseball? Count me the fuck in.”
Ume laughs, wiping a few more stray tears away as they board the train. It still hurts. GOD, it still hurts. But she has a friend with her. She’ll figure it out in the morning.
~~~~~
They make it all the way through Mr. Greg (accompanied by a gratuitous amount of crying from Ume when they make it to It’s Over, Isn’t It and Both of You) before it all boils over again. They’re only a few seconds into the ending theme when she suddenly curls into her favorite fluffy blanket that she’d been cuddled into the whole time and wails. Jacob startles, nearly dropping his mug in his haste to stop the episode and place a hand on her back.
“Hey, hey, calm down. What’s going on?”
Ume doesn’t respond at first. She can’t , the only noises she can make at the moment being tiny, broken cries and hiccups. She pulls her glasses off and places them next to her beside her empty mug, burying her face in her hands. Ume doesn’t even realize she’s started pulling at her hair until Jacob is prying her hands away from her face, staring her in the eyes with concern. Ume chokes on a sob, averting her eyes. “I- I’m sorry, I just- it hurts so much. What did I do wrong? Why’d she run away? I knew she wouldn’t have felt the same, God, why did I even try something so stupid…”
“Ah, fuck, so that’s what this is about.” Jacob leans back and grabs a tissue box, handing it to Ume. She takes it with trembling hands, pulling out a tissue to dab at her eyes as the detective continues. “Listen, I don’t think you did anything wrong, and I don’t think she intended to hurt you. I think you just… caught her off guard.” Jacob pokes her forehead, making her squeak and reel backwards. “And for what it’s worth, I’m almost a hundred percent sure she does feel the same way about you that you do about her. She might just not be great at showing it.”
Ume wipes at her eyes again. She takes a few minutes to just breathe , and Jacob waits for her as she calms down. She doesn’t deserve a friend like him. Regardless, she takes in one last shaky breath, hugging herself. “I… okay. I’ll take your word for it.” She puts her glasses back on and bundles herself back up in her blanket, reaching for the plate of chocolate chip cookies that she had made earlier and biting into one. She takes comfort in the way the chocolate melts in her mouth. “Can we keep watching? I wanna at least try and get to Bismuth.”
“Oh, Bismuth is the buff rainbow one you have a crush on, right?”
“I-I don’t-! Jacob, listen, she could snap me in half like a twig and I would thank her.”
“Hmm, well, you’ve said that about a lot of characters. Let me count, I think I have a list going-”
“Jacob!!”
“Garnet, Jasper, Sardonyx, Sugilite, Opal, Alexandrite, Yellow Diamond, Rainbow Quartz, Malachite for some weird fuckin’ reason-”
Ume cuts him off by punching him in the shoulder with all the force of a small, angry kitten, making him laugh and punch her back just as lightly. She huffs. “Leave me alone, meanie… Almost all of the Gems are so so so pretty, it’s not fair!” She grabs the remote, starting the next episode and taking another bite of her cookie as the episode starts properly. Ume snuggles further back into her blanket, pulling the edges tight around herself as she watches. She’s seen this episode so many times, what with how much she likes to binge-watch the series over and over just to feel the closest to happiness she could get as she is now, but it still makes her smile. She idly hums along to the intro song, only saying actual words to excitedly mimic the “-and STEVEN!!” at the end. Jacob snorts, throwing an arm over the back of the couch.
When they get to Alone at Sea, Jacob taps Ume’s shoulder once Jasper starts begging Lapis to fuse with her again. “Hey, looking at the cheeto puff bitch again reminds me. If you ever need me to fuck with your ex, just let me know.” Ume chokes on air, laughing.
“You- You don’t need to ‘eff with’ her, she’s who knows where at this point. I don’t really want to think about her too much, anyways.”
“Ume, I will pay you to say fuck.”
“Shut up and watch, Lapis is about to be really cool and amazing and I don’t want to miss it!!” Jacob snorts and quiets down, turning back to the screen. Ume throws her hands in the air and cheers when Lapis throws Jasper into the ocean. “THAT’S MY GIRL!!!!”
“Oh HELL YEAH, GET HER ASS-”
“Look at her go!! I love her, oh my GOD-” Ume claps excitedly as the episode fades out, grabbing the remote and clicking to the next. “Ehe, I’m pretty sure Rose is in this next one… in a flashback, at least. Aah, she’s so pretty, I can’t wait!! And then it’s-” she counts on her fingers “-three more episodes until Bismuth!!”
“Fuck yeah. We should probably call it a night after that, though. Or at least you should, you’ve had a long day and I know how shitty your sleep schedule can be.”
“Hypocrite.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
~~~~~
The next day, after class ends, Jacob suddenly stops her in the hallway as she leaves for the dorms. “Hey, Miss Yukizome told me to tell you to go grab something from the classroom for her.”
“…why can’t you do it?”
“Hell if I know.”
“B-But you should know, it’s your brain-”
Jacob shushes her and wheels her around by the shoulder. “Just go.”
Ume sidles away from his hand, raising an eyebrow and adjusting her glasses. “What should I be getting?”
“I dunno. She said it would be obvious.”
“…This is one of the most suspicious things you’ve ever said to me. But fine, I’ll go check. Have a good day, I guess…?”
Jacob hums and pushes her back in the direction of the classroom. “Yeah, I’ll see you there once you’re done.” Ume just waves as he walks away, confused beyond measure. What on earth just happened? She shakes herself out of it, stumbling slightly before making her way back. When she does reach the classroom door, she pauses. The lights are on, and the door is slightly ajar, and she can hear shuffling inside. Strange, given that she’s sure she’d seen everyone leave after class. Regardless, she pushes the door fully open and steps inside.
She freezes once she makes eye contact with Cielle, who’s rooting through the closet in the corner of the room. Before she can apologize and turn around to leave, the door shuts behind her, the telltale click of the lock echoing through the dead silence of the room. Ume whips around, barely catching a flash of brown hair and the flutter of a black jacket through the narrow window in the door. She blinks, rattling the doorknob. Nope, definitely locked. She turns around slowly. Cielle is still staring at her. Ume’s eyes flick around the room, looking for an alternate route of escape. She stumbles over to the other door, trying to open that one as well. It’s locked too. Fuck.
“Um. Well. We’re stuck. Sorry.” Ume pulls at her gloves, averting her eyes. “Uh, Jacob told me that Miss Yukizome wanted me to grab something for her. Not… Not sure who locked us in. Sorry again.” She wrings her hands, bowing quickly. “You probably don’t wanna be around me right now, so, um… I’ll try and figure out how to get out as soon as possible.”
Cielle pauses, before groaning and rolling her eyes. “He told me the same thing. Guess that was a lie.” Her face snaps into a smile almost uncannily quickly, and she throws her hands behind her head. Ume’s heart flutters. “But don’t worry about it, Cupcake! Someone will find us eventually!” She points at the closet. “I think there are board games or something in here, wanna play something?”
Ume perks up. “O-Oh, um, sure!” She shuffles over to stand next to Cielle, standing on her tiptoes to peer at their options. “Umm… Monopoly, maybe? It could last long enough to where we’re occupied until someone finds us, ehehe… and there isn’t any threat of destruction since none of the, um, more competitive people are here with us.” When Cielle gives her a thumbs up, Ume reaches for the box. She’s too short to reach it.
Cielle nudges past her after a few tries, laughing. “I got it, don’t worry.” Ume flushes and backs away as Cielle grabs the box, instead choosing to busy herself with pushing a few desks together so they have a big enough space to play. Cielle places the box down on a different desk and helps her. Every time their fingers brush, Ume’s heart speeds up, and God she can almost forget yesterday’s events. They set up the board and cards without much issue, and the game begins.
It’s surprisingly quiet at first, no noise but the ambience of the air conditioning and the shuffling of cards. At one point Cielle lands on “Go to Jail,” and she heaves a long, exaggerated sigh before moving her piece and muttering “be gay, do crime, I guess.” Ume snorts, covering her mouth with her hand and curling into herself, shoulders shaking. When she finally recovers enough to roll the dice for her turn, she notices that Cielle’s cheeks look a little redder than usual, but that’s… probably just Ume’s eyes playing tricks on her. Just a selfish fantasy her tired brain conjured up while they waited for someone to find them.
“Wh-What crime did you even commit?”
“Murder, probably! Specifically against whoever locked us in here.”
“And they arrested you before you killed them?”
“Mhm! Maybe they have, like, a fortune teller on the police force or something.”
Ume laughs again, sliding her piece along the board. “Imagine if it’s the Ultimate Clairvoyant from Class 78 who I think is only right about a third of the time and he just so happened to get lucky, ehehe-”
“I’d kill him too! Maybe Cob could bail me out of jail!”
“Cielle, please, you can’t solve all your problems with murder!”
“Nyaha, but who’s stopping me from doing just that?”
Ume takes the opportunity to lean across the table to grab Cielle’s hands, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. “Oh, but ‘Elle-chan, if you go to prison, I won’t be able to make any more strawberry cupcakes for you! It’d be like the end of the world!”
Cielle laughs, reaching to cup Ume’s cheek in one hand and squishing lightly. Ume’s heart stops, then starts back up at double the speed. “Well, then I guess I’m not killing anyone anytime soon! Can’t miss out on my Cupcake’s cupcakes, y’know?” Ume blinks. Her Cupcake. Oh, God, what she wouldn’t give to be Cielle’s forever- nope, stop right there, you’re just friends. She giggles again and leans into the touch, closing her eyes and humming happily as she places a gloved hand over the one on her face. Cielle actually blushes, it’s definitely not a figment of Ume’s imagination this time, pulling her hand back and coughing. “A-Anyways, it’s my turn now, right? Let’s see if I can get lucky.”
Cielle grabs the dice and throws them onto the board. No doubles. She groans, pushing the dice across to Ume. “Your move.” Ume takes them, shaking them around in her hands before lightly tossing. She moves her piece accordingly, landing on one of Cielle’s properties. She pauses, before sighing.
“Okay, how much do I owe you?”
Cielle hums, shuffling through her cards and counting the houses placed on that square. “Umm… Thirty bucks.” Ume nods and hands over the fake bills, which Cielle takes and adds to her stack. Ume pushes the dice back over to Cielle, grinning.
“I can’t believe I’m paying a criminal. What would my family think of me now?” She pauses, before bringing a hand to her chin. “Well, actually, I think there are some serial killers who got fan mail and money in prison. But you got arrested for a murder you haven’t even committed yet, so…”
“How do you know so much about serial killers??”
“Jacob made me watch a few true crime documentaries with him in return for me dragging him into watching Steven Universe with me!”
“Cupcake, are you telling me Cob looked at you and went ‘yeah, she could handle a documentary on serial killers’?”
“I-It’s fine, I promise! It was actually really interesting, hehe…”
Cielle shrugs. “If you say so.” She rolls the dice, cheering when she rolls two fours. “Aaaaand Cielle is out, baby!!” Ume claps, smiling.
“Congrats! I’ll throw you a ‘happy getting out of jail’ party once we get out of this classroom, complete with all the strawberry cheesecake you could ever ask f-” Ume cuts herself off. Strawberry cheesecake. She sucks in a breath through her teeth. Cielle seems to have thought the same thing upon the mention of strawberry cheesecake, as she purses her lips and just quietly moves her piece along the board. Great. You ruined it, Ume. You’ve reminded her that you’re in love with her, Ume, and yet you’re still here acting like you haven’t made everything weird by confessing. Idiot. You two were so happy playing together, and you ruined that too. “I… sorry. I should have thought that through more.”
Cielle shrugs again. “Eh, don’t worry about it, ‘kay? It’s not like strawberry cheesecake is ruined for me now.” She tosses the dice to Ume, who fumbles to catch them.
“I-I know, I just… Now I’ve reminded myself about yesterday. And I realized I never got to apologize to you.”
Cielle tilts her head. “Apologize? For what?”
Ume focuses her attention on rolling the dice instead of the girl sitting across from her. “For… confessing. I didn’t think about how you would feel. I just thought about finally getting it off my chest.” There’s a telltale sting in the back of her eyes. Pathetic. “I was selfish. And I’m sorry.” The floodgates open, and she starts crying. Ume hugs herself, too shaky to move her piece. “I-I really hope we can stay friends, though. God, Cielle, you’re- you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, and I-”
She cuts herself off with a sob as she tries to hide her face in her hands, terrified of looking at her best friend and seeing hate in her eyes. “I-I can’t lose you too!! You’re the first friend I’ve ever had, I- I don’t know what I’d do if you hated me. I’m sorry. God, I-I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I’m- I’m sorry, I would try to get rid of my feelings so I don’t ruin everything, but- I don’t know how to not love you. You’re incredible. You’re so kind to me even though I’m so horrible, you’re so pretty, you’re so smart, you, you, you- you’re so, so amazing that it’s almost unfair…! I don’t even deserve your friendship, and definitely not anything more, b-but I’m so in love with you that it hurts , and I- God, I’m so sorry, Cielle-!” She sniffles, wipes her eyes, and slides her piece along the board with a trembling hand, desperate for an escape. Great. You’ve ruined this too. Can’t you do anything right, Ume?
She hiccups, handing the dice to Cielle, too cowardly to look her in the eyes. Of course she would break down over this when she was trapped in a room with the person she’s breaking down over. God. This was the worst.
“I never want to force you into something you don’t want. So please, while we’re both trapped here, please just tell me you don’t love me. I just want some closure. Then once we get out of here we don’t have to talk to each other ever again if you don’t want to.” It doesn’t matter how even the idea of never talking to Cielle again makes Ume feel sick. Cielle’s comfort comes far, far before Ume’s stupid, selfish feelings. She pulls her glasses off and places them next to her property cards, buries her face in her hands, and prepares for the worst. “Please. Just get it over with. I can take it.” She can’t bring herself to look up. She just sits there, hiding. Like she always does.
It’s silent for a while. She peeks through her fingers. Cielle is waving at the door, but when Ume turns to look, there’s no one there. When she turns back, Cielle is scooting her chair over to be next to Ume’s. Ume blinks, tears still clinging to her eyelashes like dewdrops. Cielle grabs the back of her chair and turns her so that they’re face-to-face, before sighing deeply and taking Ume’s hands in hers. “Listen, Ume, I-” Oh, God, she used Ume’s name. That couldn’t mean anything good. Cielle bites her lip, eyebrows furrowed, before leaning back in her chair, groaning. “UGHHH, why does this have to be so hard??”
“Cielle, you can just say it, I won’t get upset with you-”
“That’s not it.” Cielle inhales deeply through her nose, before lurching forward and pulling Ume into a bone-crushing hug. “I…” Here it comes. Ume squeezes her eyes shut and braces for it. She knows it’s coming, but…
“I love you too, actually.”
…huh?
“Wh-what?” Ume’s voice is almost too faint for even her to hear. She lets out a broken noise, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and buries her face in Cielle’s shoulder. “You… you’re too nice, you know that? Lying to spare my feelings… but you don’t have to. It’s fine. I’m not mad.”
“Cupcake, I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. I’m not her, I promise. So just trust me, ‘kay?”
Ume pulls back, shaking her head. Cielle still has a strong grip on her shoulders. The touch makes her heart feel like it’s shattering, but she never wants it to leave. “Cielle. Please. Just tell me the truth.” She chokes on another sob. “Please just tell me you don’t love me. It’ll be so much easier if you just tell me the truth. Please don’t make my stupid brain believe I have a chance with y-”
Cielle cuts her off by making a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. She moves her hands from Ume’s shoulders to her face, and yanks her forward, and-
Ume melts.
It’s nothing like all those romance animes Ume had binge-watched when she was young and dumb and so, so in love with someone out of her reach. It’s not dramatic. It’s not perfect. It’s far from perfect, actually. It’s clumsy, and Ume can still taste the salt from her crying fit earlier, but God. If this is what kissing someone feels like, Ume never wants to stop. Her eyes flutter shut as she moves to loop her arms around Cielle’s neck, a few more stray tears making their escape down her cheeks. She’s so happy. She’s so, so happy. Her insides feel gooey like melted marshmallows, her heart is pounding so hard it’s about to burst out of her chest, she’s breathless. Cielle’s stolen the oxygen right out of her lungs, just like she always does. Ume leans a little further into the kiss, idly winding one hand through Cielle’s hair as she loses herself. She can’t tell if they’ve been kissing for minutes or hours or days, but she doesn’t care.
They do have to break apart for air eventually, though. Ume sucks in a deep breath, before laughing wetly and placing her hands over Cielle’s, which are still placed firmly on her cheeks. “O-Okay. I… I believe you now, I think.”
Cielle grins, moving her hands away from Ume’s face just so she can intertwine their fingers. “You better, Cupcake.”
The lock on the door clicks, letting it slide open.
“Fucking finally. You’re free to go. Don’t be gross later.”
Ume shrieks, jumping so hard that she nearly falls out of her chair. Cielle catches her, setting her back up straight in the chair before jumping to her feet. She claps and smiles, but her face is still red as a cherry. “Haha, well, that was funny, wasn’t it? But I gotta go, see you all on the flip side!” Cielle speedwalks out of the room, easily sidestepping Jacob’s attempt to grab her arm.
“Wh- Hey, bitch, don’t just leave again, Jesus Christ!! You-” But she’s already gone. Jacob scoffs, flips his middle finger up at Cielle’s retreating figure, and turns back to Ume. “Shit, are you okay? I- I don’t know why she keeps leaving, fuck, do you-”
Ume barely hears him over the blood rushing in her ears. She buries her face in her hands, leaning back in her chair and kicking her legs out just to try and get some of the adrenaline out. Ume lets out a long, muffled squeal into her hands, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. “Jacob!!! Oh my God, she kissed me, oh my GOD!!!!” She jumps up as well, trying her best to clean up the Monopoly board with her shaking hands. “Oh my God, I- am I dreaming? I don’t think I’m dreaming. Oh my God, I’m not dreaming, she- she KISSED ME!!”
Jacob blinks, before chuckling and helping her to clean up their game. “You’re welcome.” He’s much taller than Ume, so he’s the one to slide the box back onto the closet shelf. “Sooooo are you two dating now, or what?”
Ume pauses. “Um… I don’t know. I mean, I-I hope so, but I’m happy with whatever she chooses.”
“If you two aren’t actually girlfriends by the end of the week, I swear to God-”
“Ehehe, come on, let’s just go. I’m tired, y’know?”
“Alright, fine.” Jacob lightly bonks her on the head. “Gayass.”
“That’s me! Ume Amemori, Ultimate Gayass!”
“Holy sh- I know I said yesterday that I’d pay you to swear, but Jesus fucking Christ it’s uncanny. Don’t do that again. You’re forbidden.”
“Fuck.”
“STOP-”
~~~~~
Later that night, right as Ume is finishing off her nightly stretches (because yes, she can remember to take care of herself, thank you very much), her phone goes off with a notification from Cielle. She rushes to unlock her phone, smiling.
[elle-chan!!] Hey
[elle-chan!!] Hey Ume
[elle-chan!!] Do you. Do you still like me
[Cupcake!!] wh
[Cupcake!!] cielle what kind of question is that. of course i do
[elle-chan!!] Nice :]
[Cupcake!!] (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ だいすき！！
[elle-chan!!] What does that mean?
[Cupcake!!] it means i love you,,, hope that’s okay ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
[elle-chan!!] ya
The conversation ends there. Ume giggles, clutching her phone close to her chest and sighing happily. God. She loved Cielle so much. She hasn’t felt this happy in her entire life. Ume doesn’t know if she’ll be able to sleep, she’s so giddy. But she slips off her glasses, folds her gloves neatly on her nightstand, and curls into bed, pulling the covers tight around herself.
She falls asleep smiling.