Chapter Text
Sans has always liked to be a smug-ass brat. He’s good at pranks and puns and he knows it, so he’s got to make sure you are very aware of it every single day. To make you aware of it today,
“hey, (y/n), check this out,” he said, approaching you casually in the kitchen.
You took a quick glance at it. “It’s a peanut jar…?”
“you got it. the only thing is there’s something inside you should really see.”
Is he for real trying to prank you with the jar classic?
“c’mon, what are you waiting for?” he asked, raising the jar for you to take it.
“Sans, are you for real expecting me to fall for this?”
“fall for what? come on, just open it.”
He wasn’t just going to convince you to walk right into his prank, so you shook your head and crossed your arms.
“aw, c’mon, you’re not gonna open it that easily, huh?”
At your lack of reaction, he sighed. A pretty blue shade blossomed on his cheekbones as he looked away. That’s not the kind of reaction you expected him to have at you outright rejecting his attempt of prank.
“what if… i give you a kiss?”
Oh. You understood now, and you mirrored him, looking away and feeling your cheeks heat up slightly. You smiled at the thought, though, so you shyly looked at him and grinned at him.
“...Only one?” you said. If he was going to be smug for the rest of the day, you better take advantage of what was in your reach. "I'm gonna need more than one."
He locked eyes with you, blue deepening and spreading through the rest of his face.
“...deal.”
You knew he’d keep his word, but you’d rather have him do it in advance to avoid any kind of sneaky attempt to slip past the word, so you lowered your head a little and tilted your chin up, as if inviting him to your lips.
You could see him falter, but he fought past that and kissed your forehead, just pressing his teeth lightly against ur skin.
He doesn’t have lips. Of course. Still, whenever he does that, it makes that feel tingly, and your chest feels warm. Call it intention, call it magic, whatever you want, but in the end, it’s as fulfilling as a human kiss, if not more.
When he pulled away to look at you, just enjoying your flustered expression as you did his, you placed your hand on his cheek, caressing it before you leaned in to kiss his other cheek. Then, you trailed from there to the corner of his mouth, to his teeth, and that just felt like your heart swarmed with so much love you could be there for a day and you’d still think it wasn’t enough time.
“h-hey, c’mon, don’t try to distract me so i’ll just forget about this,” he said, his breathing just a tad quicker than before, face bluer as well.
That wasn’t your intention at all, but what he said meant it is possible to distract him so he could forget, so you caressed his cheeks with both of your hands as you pulled him to you, his skull following your lead despite his interest to prank you.
The smooch lasted longer than the last one, and when his skull retreated, he looked away, forcing his breathing to slow down as a way of letting go of the fluster he knew would get in the way of the oh so fun smugness.
“This is just an advance, you know that, right?”
He shook his head, grin stretching into a fond smile. “...right. but please open it before i go nuts .”
With that, he held his hand up for you to take the peanut jar. You hesitantly took it, eyes jumping from the jar to his to the jar again. He looked at you with an encouraging smile, (not at all encouraging,) as you put as much distance from the jar to you while you opened the lid slowly, bracing for impact just in case anything jumped or exploded.
…
Absolutely nothing happens, and you cautiously took a peek into the jar.
…
It’s… they’re just peanuts. Plain, old peanuts. You were just… so disappointed. And Sans laughed at that.
“heh, you should see your face, i think we should pean-ut to the fridge,” he said between laughs.
You couldn’t help but let out an ugly laugh at that, oddly surprised by how he lifted the humour so suddenly.
“i walnut laugh so hard, it might crack you up.”
He just savoured your reaction as you shook your head, still laughing, much to your resistance.
“i butter tell ya why i needed ya to open it. y'know, skeleton fingers ain’t able to open things that need friction like lids, but i wanted to do some peanut butter. care to help me on crushing my nuts?”
That. Bastard.
His smug face was too much for you, you couldn’t let that bastard get away with it! You glared at him and you took his head and pulled him in for a slightly aggressive kiss, pressing your lips to his teeth as a way to stop him from being just. an ass. His laughter stopped and he let out a muffled complaint before he just melted in your hold and enjoyed your kiss.
“Why don’t i help you nut instead?”
He stopped and stared at you as you winked at him and left the kitchen, jar of peanuts in hand, smug.
“You never had any nuts anyway,” you yelled back at the kitchen, a proud smile tugging at your lips.