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The door to the South Bohan apartment slammed hard against the frame, rattling a few of the locks and shaking the wall. Shoes flew off socks, and a black jacket got chucked at the couch after a confused unzipping. Niko was pissed. He growled with every action, more frustrated the longer he was in the secure, yet dingy confines of the safehouse. He was close to breaking something.
“What’s biting you, NB?” Roman asked, looking up nervously from the laptop he was tapping away on. Niko snapped to him.
“This fucking work, Roman, what do you think?!” Niko kicked his sneakers into the wall as he started to take off his other layers of clothing, and then angrily locking the stupid, stupid, stupid fucking door.
“I was just asking what’s wrong, Niko, yikes,” He closed the laptop, knowing Niko probably didn’t want to see what he was doing on it. “You want a drink? There should be vodka in the freezer. A few tablespoons maybe, hehe…” Roman quickly realized he wasn’t being particularly comforting, and went to get it himself.
Niko was close to banging his head on the wall. Another day, another job. Some people wake up, have a nice breakfast, a donut, who knows. They get dressed in something nice, they go to their boring, yet somewhat stressful job where they file away things and spend six hours sitting, or even more. They clean tables, mop floors, serve greasy food to people.
They go home, and they don’t have a bullet graze in their shoulder, or a black eye. He got knocked on his ass by some asshole with way too many rings. His shiner was the size of a tennis ball, and it was painful. He had a raging migraine, and his feet hurt.
His fucking feet hurt. After all the running he did anyways, how come today was the day they decided to feel like he was running in nail shoes?
“Niko, you know that date I had with Mallorie last night? She came over! I’m glad I cleaned up.” The apartment was not cleaned up in the slightest. Other than the pizza boxes being gone. Roman poured niko a small glass, and leaned on the counter.
“Sure you did… I can see by the stains in the carpet and the unwashed dishes. That I told you to take care of three days ago.”
“C’mon, You know I’ll get to them! Anyway, Before our date, I decided I should probably go pick up some shampoo or whatever and then I saw this bubble bath stuff-” Before Roman could finish, Niko held his hand up.
“Man, I don’t want to hear about Mallorie taking a bath, and I don’t want to hear about your stupid date,” Niko shouted, gripping the glass, “I have a splitting headache, And if you haven’t noticed, I WAS PUNCHED IN THE FACE, YOU ASSHOLE!” He held the chilled glass to his eye, hoping to help the pain. It didn’t.
“Sorry! I just see you with a lot of injuries so I-”
“Get. Me. The. Corn.” Niko downed the glass in one go, and beckoned the fridge with a gripping hand.
Roman immediately went into the freezer, and brought out a rock solid bag of frozen corn. He handed it over, and then Niko proceeded to lay on the floor to hate his life without having to stand on his feet.
They both sat in silence for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry for being angry. I am very stressed out right now.” Niko said calmly. From the rug.
“Don’t even apologize, NB. You get shot?” Roman just noticed the blood on Niko’s arm. “I’ll go get the first aid.”
“Thank you.” Niko dragged down a pillow from his fold-out bed, and put it under his head. The pain wasn’t much better, but he was at least more comfortable.
After he got done dressing the gash on his arm, Niko got up again and went to the restroom. He really didn’t want to be on his feet. After he got done with his business, he went to wash his hands and look himself in the mirror. Bloody nose, a busted eye and just… tired.
Would he always look like this? Niko knew the black eye would go away, and whatever cuts and scrapes and bruises would fade away or just turn into small marks. But would he always look this exhausted? Was he doomed to be a tired criminal for the rest of his life?
He snapped out of his self-conscious thoughts. As best as he could, anyway. Niko hadn’t showered in days. He smelled like sweat, and he certainly didn’t want Michelle, or Mallorie to see him like this. He needed to at least convince them he was doing alright. Otherwise, Michelle might ask all those questions again.
He looked over at the bath. Seems that Roman did clean something. The shower and tub combo had been scrubbed a bit, and it was lacking its usual soap scum and questionable mold. It even smelled like cleaner.
“Roman, you cleaned the bathtub?” He shouted out of the door.
“I was gonna tell you I got some of this bubble bath soap, it’s great! I didn’t want to sit in that gross stuff, so I cleaned it. Not everything I talk about is naked women, Niko.” He shouted back.
“To be honest I find it more likely that you scrubbed a tub for your naked girlfriend than for yourself…” He mumbled.
Niko couldn’t remember the last time he had like. A bath. Sitting down in a tub and everything. And he certainly never had bubbles involved. He saw movies, TV shows where women would sit in a luxurious bath, overflowing with pink soap bubbles. Candles lit, a box of chocolates, wine, maybe? A scene that enchanted him in some way. The attractive woman in the picture was definitely an element of it, but it just seemed so comfortable. So incredibly cozy.
Hm.
“Roman!” Niko shouted, coming out of the bathroom.
“Niko! What?”
“I’m calling in a favor.” Niko dug into his pocket, and pulled out two bloodied hundred dollar bills.
“Niko, drugs are not how you cope-”
“Not drugs, you idiot. Go to the store, get me chocolate.”
“Huh?” Roman was starting to get pushed towards the door.
“And red wine, and candles, cigarettes… and uh…”
“Tampons?” Roman laughed, stepping out the door.
“No, A Rogue magazine. The fashion one. Go get that stuff for me and use the rest to go get dinner, and stay out for as long as you can. I want… Me time.”
“Oh my god, you’re gay.” was the last thing Roman said before Niko slammed the door in his face.
About forty minutes later, Roman came back with a grocery bag of Niko’s requests. A candy bar, cheap wine, a pack of cigarettes, tea candles and a large magazine with a very stylish woman on it.
“Thanks, Roman. Go have fun, and remember, stay out for as long as you can. I want some alone time for a few hours.”
“Before I go, can I use the bathroo-” The door slammed in Roman’s face again, and Niko quickly bolted it without batting an eye.
“I said have fun, Roman.” Niko walked to the bathroom with his bag of goodies, and no concern for Roman.
“Niko, did you take my keys?! Niko, I haven’t gone in hours! Niko!” The banging on the front door was easily muffled by the bathroom door, which Niko bumped closed with his hip.
The apartment was now close to silent, other than the rustling of the plastic bodega bag. Niko took out the bar of chocolate, and broke it perfectly into each rectangular piece. No, that was wrong. He tilted his head at the chocolate sprawled out across the plate he designated as his “chocolate box”. No, this had to be more classy. More romantic. He was dating himself, after all.
Then he simply arranged the pieces into the shape of a heart. Very classy.
The faucet was going with steaming hot water, and Niko proceeded to pour the contents of the pink bubble bath soap into the running water with a big squeeze. He even cleaned out the bottle by holding it under the stream for a minute. He wanted these bubbles falling on the floor.
He then went to light the candles. He never really understood the craze, but the tiny little teacup candles definitely added something to the room. And their sandalwood aroma was also a plus.
Niko carefully positioned the fashion magazine on the toilet seat cover, placing one of the tiny candles next to it. Perfect.
The tub was still filling up, and the mountain of bubbles was nowhere near what he wanted to delicately step into. He got another idea.
Niko went to the kitchen, and went to look in the fridge. Their selection of food was… scarce, to say the least. Not much for lack of funds to buy groceries, rather it was a matter of Niko never having the energy to go shopping, and Roman frankly being so incompetent at grocery shopping that he didn’t even try.
But, at some point in the recent past, they had bought a cucumber. He smiled at it, and pulled it out of the crisper drawer. He cut the squash into slices, eyeing the job so carefully one could forget that he wasn’t cutting the cucumber very well with the only clean butterknife they had.
He returned to the impromptu spa with his cucumber slices, and with everything perfectly arranged (to him), and the bathtub almost ready. He turned on the boombox.
The station was set 98.8, the Vibe. A beat was already in, and the smooth synth was humming along with it. When those heavenly, strong voices started the chorus, Niko was in a whole other dimension.
He started to take off his clothes, and as he slipped off his undershirt, he was truly able to see all the bruises he’d gotten that day. The bloody scuffs on his arms, and he then stared back into his face. He stopped after a few too many moments looking at himself, and took off the rest of his outfit.
He shut off the faucet, and the behemoth of bubbles was complete. A good two feet of bubble heaven to step through like a cloud. He could swear this might be even better than sex.
Niko stepped in, the water still incredibly hot, but he liked it. Like the first step into a hot tub. Not like he would know what that was like, but he could at least imagine it now. He slowly bent down to sit. And then he slipped.
One leg went up as he somehow turned himself sideways in the tub, and a few tufts of bubbles went flying. 'Why is it so fucking hard for me to relax?' He asked himself. The big time gangster then realigned himself, checking to see if any candles made it onto a pile of clothes or the towel sitting outside the tub. He definitely didn’t want this self care to turn into a fire hazard.
He then sat like that. The candles flickering, the beautiful R&B playing over the radio. Chocolates, fashion articles, bubbles. He definitely needed a cigarette.
He went for the tiny box he’d placed next to the tub, and the lighter next to it. Maybe he should’ve asked Jacob for some weed? Maybe not. After Niko lit up the end, he took a long drag, letting out a huge plume of smoke.
Niko sat back in the tub, careful not to slip this time, putting his knees up. He looked at the scrapes and cuts on his legs. Lots of them. When did they get there? He thought, almost worried. He didn’t often wear jeans, so often it was just a thin membrane of athletic sweat fabric between him and the pavement. His road rash was insane. And he couldn’t say it wasn’t his fault.
He ashed into the metal waste basket beside the toilet, and then heard his cellphone. He couldn’t turn it off, in case there was an emergency. Well, he could. If he wanted to. Niko wanted to turn it off. But he just decided not to. That’s why. He leaned out of the shallow tub and clawed at his pants.
The phone was dug out, and Niko could see it was Packie on the other end.
“Hey, Packie…” He held the phone between two fingers to prevent it from getting wet.
“Nikoooo, dude, you up for drinking tonight?”
“Actually, I was thinking of just spending a night in. At home. Alone.” He bit down on a piece of chocolate. Man, that was good.
“Man, what’s the deal? You on your period or something? Haha.” Why was this the recurring joke?
“Packie, I just want to relax. Or… try to, at least. I’ve done a lot of work for Elizabeta this week and I’m just worn out, okay?” He was almost begging Packie to stop trying.
“Yeah, she can really shave your nose on the grindstone, dude. You sure you don’t want me to come over? I can bring whatever kind of illicit substance you want.”
“I got chocolate. And to be honest, this is the first time I’ve had chocolate in a while. Right now, This is better than anything that comes in a bottle or in a brick.” He said with a few bites of milk chocolate in his mouth.
“You are one weird guy, Bellic. Stay frosty.” Packie hung up, and Niko tossed the phone into his pile of clothes again.
Twenty minutes in, he had put the cucumber slices over his dark eyelids, carefully balancing one on his still swollen eye. The chocolate was half gone, but the bubbles were still going strong. He wondered why he hadn’t done this before. This was… great. And outside of the bottle of wine, it wasn’t expensive either. He never had time for this sort of thing in the merchant navy, but even when he came to Liberty City, he never actually relaxed a moment. Only to sleep or the occasional exhausted nap in his car. This was… the most comfortable he had been in… maybe years.
He had uncorked the bottle earlier, and was holding it in his hand like a regular beer bottle. Drinking it like a beer bottle, too. Maybe he should’ve moved himself and Roman away from Liberty City. He had seen postcards from beautiful places that weren’t cities. Places that weren’t trying to kill him.
National parks, wide open plains, mountains… He imagined them as he closed his eyes under the cool cucumber slices. Somehow he felt that he could even find a criminal underworld in those places, too. Was it too late to go to places like that? Was he just going to have to stay here, in Liberty City?
Like so many people did? Was he going to get stuck in this place?
There were obvious exits. Highways. Trains, bus routes. He could leave at any time.
But Niko didn’t leave. He thought about all the times he had risked his life for people who didn’t even care about him, killed people he hardly knew. He was crashed into, shot, punched, cut. This city was nothing but a big monster. Keeping you trapped until it snuffs out whatever hope you had. And then, you don’t think you could ever leave.
He realized he was falling asleep when he started to slip into the water a bit too much, spilling a bit of the wine into the bath water.
He put down the bottle, and then sunk down into the bath, bubbling the water with a long sigh through his nose. The tub was short and small, so he had to have his knees up to prevent an uncomfortable scrunch.
He sat back up in the tub, and popped another piece of candy bar into his mouth. He then leaned out of the depleting hill of bubbles to get to his phone again.
Niko carefully dialed Packie’s number again. Was this inconsiderate of him? Maybe. But since he saved Packie’s ass a few times, he figured being a bit fickle wasn’t the worst thing he could be. He needed to talk to somebody.
“Hey man, change your mind about some light substance abuse?” Packie joked, which was relieving. Packie didn’t seem to get easily annoyed at stuff like that.
“Actually... do you just want to talk? Like friends? Not about girls, or drugs or anything, just talk.” Niko felt he was sounding a bit tender, but he was sitting in a bubble bath and eating chocolate. So, whatever tenderness he was trying to avoid already happened.
“Uh… yeah, man. Sure. What’d you wanna talk about?”
“Do you. Uhm. like sports?”
“Not… really? My brothers go crazy about sports and it’s just annoying. Football season is a fucking nightmare around here.”
“Yeah, I figured. When I go to the store, all I see is food shaped like footballs, or pictures of footballs on food. And I heard of this thing called ‘Tailgating’? What even is that?”
“It’s where a bunch of people bring a potluck or food to the back of someone’s pickup truck, and use the back gate like a table or whatever. Watch the game on a TV they set up in the bed. It’s stupid.” Packie scoffed.
“I still don’t understand how people own pickup trucks in Liberty City. I have a hard enough time finding parking for a sedan as it is.”
“Right, and their gas mileage is garbage. You stolen a truck?”
“Yeah, and I stopped driving it when I saw how much gas I was losing just idling in traffic.”
“See? Garbage mileage, too big to park, and also, what do you even have to haul when living in this fucking city? The six pieces of furniture you can fit in your shoebox of an apartment? Any more than that, just rent somethin’.”
They sat in a moment of silence. Maybe Niko should have mentioned not talking about cars.
“So, you settled in well? In the city, I mean.” Packie asked first, which Niko was extremely grateful for.
“Other than having no visa, passport, citizenship, and a hail of gunfire on my ass most of the week, This city smells and the food is greasy or just awful. It’s a pretty swanky prison, if you ask me.” They both laughed at the bare cynicism and complaints.
“Too bad that’s not the worst of it. Anyway, heard from one of Elizabeta’s boys you got shot in the arm?”
“It was just a scrape, honestly. The worst part was probably the black eye I got. Guy had a lot of rings.” Niko touched his eye. Still hurt. Though swelling had gone down.
“Still, that fuckin’ sucks. Wait, are you listening to the vibe? Didn’t know you were an R&B man, Niko Bellic!”
“It’s good music about love and good rhythms, Patrick. I’m not saying it’s better than anything else, I just like it.”
“You remind me of those forty something spinsters at the bars that get obsessed over those stupid 80s songs.”
“Well, I must be a 30 something spinster, then.”
Another bout of silence.
“You want to hear something funny?” Niko asked, lighting another cigarette out of boredom.
“What?”
“I’m sitting in a bubble bath right now.” He huffed out a small laugh, along with a breath of smoke.
“...You take bubble baths? Isn’t that like, for girls or whatever.”
“It is surprising... very comfortable. It is definitely worth the hype.”
“There’s a hype about bubble baths?”
“This girl I’ve been dating, Michelle, She was talking about pampering oneself or whatever. Going to the spa, getting a massage. I thought it was kind of stupid but now I sort of get it.”
“If anyone deserves a spa day, It’s probably you. Anyway… uh.” Packie stuttered
“What?”
“I guess like, I should tell you to not put yourself out there too much. In this world, it’s not a good idea to be under so many different payrolls. Y’know?” Packie sounded like he was drinking. Beer probably. Niko could hear his lips smacking off the bottle.
“Too bad the only way I can make rent and help my cousin is to get that many paychecks. I really wish… I really wish I could do things over. Sometimes.”
“Like what? Not working for other bosses?”
“No, like… go to school. Move somewhere different. Not get into crime in the first place. Kept my nose clean, I heard people call it.”
“I dropped outta school, couldn’t stand it. Didn’t go to college neither. What would I even study? Getting-your-ass-beat-by-your-old-man 101?”
“I’d ace that class.” Niko laughed, and so did Packie. Not the most joyful thing to laugh about, but Niko could really relate to Patrick, besides his… volume.
“But seriously though, what would you study? If you had the chance?”
Niko thought for a moment, lighting another cigarette.
“Eh… I don’t know. Community… things.”
“Community things. What’s that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Man, you are dry to talk to sometimes.”
“Okay! I guess, helping people find housing. Finding food for cheap, just helping people. I would like to study that. So I could probably help people not end up in this life. Maybe.”
“That’s… pretty nice of you, Niko. It might not be too late-”
“If I wasn’t a killer, a criminal, an idiot, maybe I’d actually do something to help people. But since I was a stupid kid, I’m ruined now.”
“Ruined-”
“I mean- I mean I can’t do that now. I made my bed a long time ago.”
This silence was less awkward, and more depressing.
“You’re actually a pretty good guy, man. I think you’re just surrounded by a bunch of people who are actually garbage. So you think you’re garbage too.”
“Am I being psychoanalyzed by a drunk?”
“I am a very smart drunk, thank you very much. But seriously.”
Niko took another long breath of smoke, the end of the cigarette scorching further towards the filter.
“Thanks, Patrick. You’re a good friend. If we are friends.”
“Yeah, we’re friends. Nighty night, Dummy.”
“Sweet dreams, asshole.”
During their talk, the bubbles had dissipated, and there was only a small, pink froth settling on the water. The bath was lukewarm, and Niko realized he hadn’t actually washed anything since he got in.
He put out his smoke, and went to actually scrub himself of a week’s worth of grime and sweat.
After he pulled the plug on the drain, Niko dried off and put a towel around his waist. He then walked past the mirror again.
'You’re actually a pretty good guy.'
Niko smiled at his reflection. Another small, insignificant favor to himself for the night.