Chapter Text
Deja vu.
It was the first thing Jihoon thought of as he arrived Junkyu’s place to see his friends getting busy with the last minute preparations for the Christmas party they were hosting.
He surveys the room and sees Yedam and Doyoung at the den behind the small DJ setup Yoshi has hooked them up with, smiling and making silly beats and sounds to make each other laugh. Jihoon smiles softly at the scene.
He glances at the large Christmas tree and the two figures seated at its foot.
Jeongwoo and Haruto were wrapping gifts last minute- which was taking more time than it should as the two were currently more busy bickering than doing actual work.
“Ya! What are you doing?” Haruto exclaims. “You’re not doing it right!”
“Shut up and pass me the tape.” Jeongwoo orders.
“There’s literally more tape on that present than wrapping paper, Woo.”
“Stop questioning my artistry, Watanabe!”
Jihoon rolls his eyes as he walks forward. He could never get how those two work.
He was on his way to the back of the house when he encounters a pouting Junghwan. The younger man’s face brightens up as he sees Jihoon.
“Oh hyung you're here!” Junghwan exclaims and then looks at Jihoon oddly as he gives the older a once over. “Why aren’t you wearing your mom’s sweater this year hyung? Did she stop knitting you one?”
Jihoon looks down on the outfit he put one, a sky blue vest on top of his white turtleneck, then shakes his head and says, “No, she did send me a sweater.” She sent two, in fact. “I just didn’t feel like wearing it.” He lies.
Junghwan continued to give him an odd look but just shrugged, “Alright.”
Jihoon messes Junghwan’s hair and asks, “Did Mashiho kick you out of the kitchen?”
The pout returns to Junghwan’s face and nods sadly, like a kicked puppy.
Jihoon gives a small laugh, the maknae probably tried sneaking a taste on the pastries Mashiho was baking, again.
“Don’t worry. We’ll be eating soon.” Jihoon reassures the younger, “Go and make sure Haruto and Jeongwoo do not end up stabbing each other.”
“Okay hyung!” Junghwan says brightly and skips to the living room.
Jihoon walks further inside the house and peeks at the kitchen to see his best friend chasing Mashiho around the room, who was busy finishing up the gingerbreads he was making. He decides not to disturb the two and walks back into the living room.
It seems like nothing has changed from a year ago.
The only difference this year was that Yoshi was with them instead of spending it with his boyfriend’s family like last year. The japanese guy was currently busy working on the decorations for the party, refusing help because he knew it’d be much faster if he did it alone.
Jihoon was supposed to celebrate this Christmas back home in Busan but Junkyu insisted he stay and spend it with them, instead. It didn’t take much to convince him, especially when Jihoon had no heart to come home when he promised his mother he would be bringing someone with him this year for Christmas.
Jihoom lets out a small bitter laugh. What a naive little boy you were, Hoon-ah.
Jihoon ignores the tiny pinch on his heart as images of shy smiles and tiny hands and melodious laughter and eyes that hold the entire universe flashes through his head.
He tries to shake off the image, but it was unavoidable, when it was at this place, at this time of the year when it all started.
Jihoon was startled out of his trance, when something was shoved on his face, not noticing Junkyu approaching until he was right in front of him.
"Be helpful for once and hang this somewhere will you?", his best friend orders, places the object on Jihoon’s hand, and leaves without waiting for an answer.
It was only then that he realized what Junkyu gave him.
Jihoon glares at the ornament on his hand.
Was Junkyu trying to be funny?
The thought of throwing it away has crossed his mind, but really what good would that make him? He needs to stop letting everything related to that person affect him- or else he really truly won't be able to forget and move on.
And Jihoon has moved on. He has.
He sighs and walks to the back of the house. He opens the back door and looks around, surveying the best location to hang the blasted object. He finally decides to hang the ornament on the top of the arched porch entrance where anyone who paid enough attention could see. No point in hiding it, really.
As Jihoon finishes hanging the ornament, he hears the doorbell ring.
He freezes, eyes widening ever so slightly. A cold shiver ran across his body as he was suddenly transported to a memory of the past. No . He shakes himself out of the line of thought.
The doorbell rings again, more insistent this time, his friends probably can't hear the bell inside because of Yedam's beats and Jeongwoo's screaming.
Jihoon enters the house to see everyone busy with their own thing.
He sees Junghwan successfully sneaking a gingerbread out of the plate while Mashiho is distracted with Junkyu’s persistent attempts for back hugs. Yoshi was on the phone, a soft smile on his face, no doubt talking with his boyfriend. Haruto and Jeongwoo are huddled together, the mess of their gift wrapping around them are forgotten as they giggle at something on Haruto’s phone. Yedam and Doyoung were busy making beats. Nobody seems to notice the doorbell except for him.
Jihoon sighs. Guess I have to do it myself again.
He walks to the front of the house and opens the door, not bothering to peek at the peephole to check who it was. In retrospect, he really should have checked before opening the door. It would have at least given him a few seconds to process his shock.
Alas, Jihoon opens the door and gapes, his eyes widening in disbelief by the sight of the person in front of him.
Jihoon stands there, petrified.
Jihoon blinked a couple of times, shaking his head, trying to get back to his senses. Hoping that the figure is just a figment of his imagination… but no. It wasn't his imagination.
The ghost from his past is really standing in front of him.
Hyunsuk was standing by the door looking as shocked as Jihoon felt.
What is he doing here?
Unable to believe his eyes, Jihoon just stood there, mouth agape.
"Hi." Hyunsuk breathes out in greeting, then smiles that beautiful smile of his that always made Jihoon weak.
"H-hi." Jihoon greets back. He wanted to punch himself for stuttering, he cleared his throat and tried again, keeping a neutral expression. "Hi."
Hyunsuk was wearing a light blue coat and a white turtle neck decorated by large necklaces that looked so heavy Jihoon wonders how the other is not being weighed down by it
The man looked even more handsome than Jihoon remembers, his features are more pronounced than before.
He’s still so fucking beautiful.
Jihoon thinks the universe is a bitch because quite frankly, Hyunsuk had no business coming back to his life looking this good.
Aside from his appearance, there was something about this Hyunsuk that was different but Jihoon can't quite put a finger on it.
"It's been a while Jihoon-ah..." The other man says, as if they were just meeting each other casually, as if there wasn't an elephant sized history between them.
"Yeah. It has." He says, trying to act like the very sight and presence of the other has not shaken his core and resolve that he has been building all year long.
"How are you?" Hyunsuk asks.
Jihoon wanted to scream.
How can the elder be so casual about this? He's acting like they're old acquaintances catching up after a long time of not seeing each other.
He’s pictured meeting Hyunsuk again in a million different scenarios and most of them involved him giving Hyunsuk a cold stare and walking away and that when he sees Hyunsuk again, he would only feel anger, resentment, hurt, or even indifference.
But now… now as he stares down at the orbs that once captivated him so much, the emotions he's feeling right were far from any of those he expected to feel.
"Ji?" Hyunsuk says, catching his attention.
Jihoon snaps out of his daze to see Hyunsuk looking at him with a questioning stare, head tilting as he asks, "Why aren't you wearing your mother's sweater?"
Jihoon was taken aback by the question. He didn't think the older would remember this random fact about him. He racked his brains for a suitable answer that did not involve telling the truth.
He was saved from lying through his teeth when someone from behind Hyunsuk called out, "Hyung!”
A dark haired man was jogging towards them, huffing as he reached the front porch.
“Sorry I took a while. I had to find somewhere to park." The man says, casually wrapping his arm around Hyunsuk's shoulder- the action making Jihoon's eyebrow rise.
Where the hell did this guy come from?
"Aren't we going in? It's so cold." The man whined and cuddled closely to the older, making Hyunsuk smile warmly.
Jihoon gives the guy a once over. He looked to be around their age- if not a couple years younger. He wore a black coat covering his slender and obviously well-proportioned body. The guy's face had a mischievous look on him- he was looking at Hyunsuk with a slight smile, before looking up to see Jihoon watching him.
"Good evening!" The guy greeted him, too enthusiastically for Jihoon's taste. "I hope you don't mind me tagging along with Hyunsuk hyung tonight. The invitation did say he could bring anyone."
Jihoon was lost for words, still busy glaring at the other man when Hyunsuk said, "Oh Jihoon. Uhh... I'd like you to meet Jaehyuk. Jae, this is Jihoon,"
Hyunsuk introduced, his hand gesturing back and forth to both boys.
Jihoon didn't miss the glint in Jaehyuk's eye when he heard Jihoon's name, nor the not so subtle way he tightened his hold on Hyunsuk's shoulder.
"Oh! Hi Jihoon-ssi! Nice to meet you." Jaehyuk says, voice dripping with so much sweetness, Jihoon thinks there's no way it was sincere.
"Can we come in?" Jaehyuk asks, "It's freezing out here."
For a moment, Jihoon wanted to be petty and close the door on the couple's face, but he decided that would be too childish and he didn't want to look like he was jealous or bitter, because he was neither. Not at all.
“Of course! Come in!” Jihoon says, placing a wide smile on his face as opened the door wide and took a step back to let the newcomers in; all the while, Jaehyuk's hand never left Hyunsuk's shoulder.
"Here hyung, let me get your coat for you." Jaehyuk offers, not waiting for Hyunsuk to respond and as he helps the older out of his blue coat and hangs it on the rack by the front door.
"Thank you, Jaehyukie." Hyunsuk says patting the younger's head.
Jihoon swears he could see a tail wagging behind the younger.
He decides he doesn't want to see another second of this, "Junkyu's in the kitchen. I trust you still know your way." Jihoon said to Hyunsuk.
He turns on his heels and walks away from the couple.
He refused to be affected by the display that he just witnessed.
He should not care. He did not care.
Although, he had to admit, he didn't think Hyunsuk would have the audacity to bring someone new to a party he knew Jihoon would be in.
Jihoon thought it was uncharacteristic of Hyunsuk.
But what do I know about him, really? He thought, shaking his head with a bitter smile.