Work Text:
‘Scully? Scully, can we please talk about this?’
The door remained firmly shut in his face, and he dropped his forehead against it with a frustrated thud, hands gripping the doorframe on either side. He was trying not to raise his voice too much, conscious of other guests at the relatively nice hotel the Bureau had sprung out for; sometimes being the victim pays more than being the investigator, he thought, before banging his head more purposefully against the door again. ‘I know you’re in there, Scully; let me in.’
‘Go home, Mulder. I don’t want to talk about it,’ her muffled voice came from the other side of the door. He can feel the tightness of restrained emotion in her voice.
But his stomach is in knots and his heart is pounding in his chest. He’d seen...her. He’d seen them. About to...well, who knows where it would have led if he hadn’t walked in. Perhaps in nine months, she’d have been asking him for child support. Except, in nine months, she might not even be alive. ‘Please, open up? There are implications here that we have to talk about. I don’t...I don’t want to let this sit between us.’
‘I can’t. I just want to forget about it. It’s not important.’
His palm slammed against the door before he realised what he was doing, eyes smarting. ‘Scully, please,’ he whispered, cheek against the wood, ‘I’m so scared this is going to come between us. I’m so scared that I’m going to lose you, that you’re going to resent me because I’m not him or because he came on to you with my face. And I don’t want that. I don’t want you to hate me, Scully. I need you too bad for that.’
His cheeks were wet, his breathing desperate, ‘please? Please just let me say goodnight?’
No answer, and so as he collected his breath and gathered his wits about him, he pushed off the door and straightened up, wiped his tears on his shoulder. Took a steadying breath and held his chin up as he walked away from her hotel room door. He was halfway between her room and the elevator when he heard his name and turned to see her standing in the middle of the corridor.
‘I don’t want to lose you either...’