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Every day he's caught off guard by something new. Maybe that's normal when you're on your second go at life, but other than Yuuji, Junpei has no frame of reference to judge by. Even if he tried, it wouldn't be a very good comparison because they're different. Unlike him, Yuuji views the world through a lens of enthusiasm. Wonder. Open to most opportunities that he stumbles upon.
He doesn't hesitate to jump right in. Being dead for a while didn't change that about him.
Today, the unexpected is a beach trip with no strings attached. They aren't doing any lessons or work, and Gojo had said it was just so everyone could relax. Enjoy their youth.
Junpei's eyes flick to where their teacher is chatting up the guy running the drink counter.
A few months ago, he wouldn't have understood that phrase—enjoying one's youth. Even now that he's a student at Jujutsu High, the sentiment still rings hollow to him. He's doing okay. Happier than he's been in recent memory, but it's hard to forget the darkness that came before. The kind of stuff that appears in his—thankfully—less frequent nightmares but will probably never leave him for good.
"Gojo-sensei was serious, you know."
Junpei lurches forward as a heavy arm drapes across his back, but steadies himself on his feet. He tries not to think about the overwhelming warmth that's now osmosing onto his skin from Yuuji's touch. Yuuji is difficult to push out of his head, though, so he'll make a deal with his brain and save the thought for later.
"Oh?" Junpei asks, schooling his tone to be casual. "We won't have to exorcise anything?"
"Nah. Everything seems normal here!" Yuuji says. "And even if it isn't, it can't be too bad with this many of us in one place. We'll be okay."
"I hope you're right." Junpei sighs.
"Wanna go swimming? I think the others are gonna hop in the water too," Yuuji tells him. "But we can do something else first, if you want."
The way he looks at him head on, with an easy grin and dimples, blinds Junpei. Yet he doesn't drop his gaze. He's been working hard at that, just for Yuuji. A small concession to try to pay him back for how kind he's always been. For them being friends at all, when there's plenty of reasons Yuuji deserves better than him. He has to at least try to meet him in the middle.
Around them, a cloud of different sounds masks the silence before he answers. Voices in the distance yelping and laughing along the shore, the tinkling melody of the ice cream truck passing by, and the white noise of the water behind it all.
Junpei lets a smile work its way onto his lips.
"No, I'm fine with swimming," he says softly, as best as he can as he stares down an angel who has somehow touched down onto earth.
Forget the curse that lives inside his friend's body. The poison Sukuna represents isn't strong enough to taint the light that Yuuji gives off.
Not even close.
*
Humidity fills the changing room, hitting them full-force as they walk in until Junpei feels like he's gained a new layer of sweat just by coming here.
At least they're alone. He'd walked toward the most vacant looking building they could see along the beach, and Yuuji had followed.
Why? Junpei wishes he knew for certain, but it probably has to do with the talks they've had over the past few months. Little by little, he has unraveled the thread of his life to Yuuji. Picking and choosing what stories he shares, sure, but some of the worst ones have come out. Yuuji has to know there are marks Junpei would rather hide, even if he's never seen them.
Funny enough, the idea of Yuuji seeing them no longer scares him. That's how far they've come.
Junpei sets his tote bag on a bench, pulls out the swimsuit inside, and takes a deep breath. Okay, he's a little nervous, but it's manageable. If he keeps telling himself it's a quick reveal and that Yuuji might not even look over at him, he can do this.
His stomach tightens as he starts to slip his shirt over his head. Careful not to be too obvious, Junpei sneaks a glance toward the other row of lockers.
He stifles a squeak as he's greeted by a whole lot of bare, tanned skin. Great. While he was busy mapping out his game plan, Yuuji had already stripped down to nothing.
Junpei's pulse flutters. He lingers on the sight a little longer, tracing the solid arc of Yuuji's biceps and the muscles rippling down his back, leading to a firm, round ass. His courage begins to fail him. He keeps going with his shirt, yanking it off and balling it up at the bottom of the bag, blushing furiously.
He can't blame the heat flooding through his body on the air in the room anymore.
"Hey, did you bring any sunscreen?"
Yuuji's question cuts through Junpei's panic as effectively as a butter knife. His stomach continues to toss and turn as he forms an answer, hands shaking as he tries to unbutton the front of his jeans. It's hard to think straight when half of his brain is occupied with willing the blood in his body to flow somewhere, anywhere else than where it's currently headed.
He's never had a problem controlling arousal before. Not like this, not this bad.
Before Yuuji and he met, Junpei didn't care what anyone looked like. Crushes were for people who stood half a chance of anyone wanting them back. He hadn't dared get his hopes up that anyone would want him, and constantly hitting rock bottom emotionally had kept his heart quiet. Having a sex drive had been the absolute last priority on his list, even if that was supposed to be the one thing all teenage boys indulged in. Surviving school had been the only cause worth putting any energy into.
"Uh, I don't think so." Maybe he did bring sunscreen, but like hell if he can remember a small detail like that now. "Someone else might have some."
"Bet Fushiguro will. He got burnt that time he fell asleep outside reading. I'll ask him."
The mention of their classmate disarms Junpei. Not thinking, he turns, and a response is half out his mouth before his lips slam shut in shock.
Standing before him is an image that could have easily powered his wet dreams all through high school, both before and after encountering Yuuji. Junpei's hand stops on the zipper of his pants and he flat out stares. Stares despite knowing that he should turn back around, that it isn't polite, that he's bright red now, and that he's being weird.
But he can't help it.
Sweat clings to the definition between Yuuji's abdominals, carving out paths Junpei desperately wants to follow with his tongue. He can practically taste the salt just imagining it. Then there's the chiseled lines that point his gaze right toward the thick cock hanging between Yuuji's legs. That sight threatens to give him heart palpitations, so Junpei shifts his gaze, looking at the wisps of hair leading down to it. They're kept neater than he'd expect; then again, Yuuji puts in an effort to look good most days.
The problem is, he doesn't even need to try to accomplish that feat.
When Junpei finally exhales, breath shudders through him, and his pulse pounds loudly in his ears.
Normal. He needs to act normal again.
"Yeah, maybe," he adds in response to the previous statement, forcing himself to turn around. "Someone has to have sunscreen."
"Junpei."
Dread creeps into his chest, but that's all Yuuji says, and it doesn't mean anything on its own. He stopped looking; he's allowed to be a little starstruck at suddenly seeing so much nudity. No one can blame him, and it's just them, so no one else will witness his humiliation. This is Yuuji. He's not going to read into this, because as far as he knows, they're friends. Nothing else; Junpei's been careful about measuring his words and actions to preserve the status quo.
Just because Yuuji's woken his heart up from an indefinite sleep doesn't mean that Junpei can ever have him.
"Junpei, look at me."
Oh fuck. Every bit of unease rolling around inside him amplifies. Yuuji sounds firm, like he's serious about whatever comes next. Contrarily, Junpei feels sick, but he has to answer to that, has to swivel back around, even if he's one wrong word away from fleeing the room, half-dressed.
Is this where it falls apart? Because though Junpei has only begun to taste happiness, he's addicted to it. He's started to feel like maybe his life isn't an afterthought, and that he can live it well, with friends at his side. That he can feel emotions again, like joy, anticipation, and desire.
He turns.
A look passes between them, and then there are hands cupping his sweat-slick shoulders and pulling him closer. He doesn't have time to gasp before Yuuji kisses him hard. Adrenaline surges through Junpei's veins, and for one blissful second, he basks in the heat of them pressed together, chest to chest, pulses racing. It's all he's dreamed about lately and yet the reality is a thousand times better.
Something clicks. He wrenches himself free, spinning away, but Yuuji catches him by the arms. The hold on him is gentle; he could break out of it if he wanted to, but Junpei is too weak to do anything but stand where he already is. He releases a series of shaky breaths, panic seizing his lungs, and fights with his brain to plan his next move.
What just happened? Sympathy? Because no other explanation makes sense.
"Was I wrong?" Yuuji asks from behind him. "Did you not want that?" The hands gripping Junpei's forearms let go, and he instinctively moves them in front of his body.
Junpei slides both his hands up to shield his eyes, pressing fingers into his skin until it hurts a little. Pushing past his unsteady breathing, he laughs darkly.
"Did you?"
Even if he has to be cruel in his response, he won't let Yuuji waste any pity on him. He doesn't want charity to be the basis of whatever the two of them have become.
"Yeah. I was waiting to do it until I knew you wanted me. Kinda seemed like you did a second ago..." Yuuji trails off, as if that certainty has now evaporated.
Junpei's hands drop from his face. "What?"
"I like you. I've been wanting to kiss you for weeks now."
"What?" Junpei repeats himself, and the word seems to echo in his ear. This is not what he imagined. It doesn't seem real, but the boy standing next to him is all too tangible. Hard to deny, and there isn't a single trace of doubt in Yuuji's response.
"I like you."
He must actually mean it.
A rough-skinned palm lands on his back then slides down to his waist. Yuuji traces across him slowly, as if allowing him the chance to move. But he can't. He won't move, Junpei realizes, as he's pulled backwards into a wall of solid muscle and held like he's something precious. He's never been precious to anyone who wasn't his mother. It's strange, but he finds himself minding less as the seconds tick by.
His head tilts to look back and tentatively meets the kiss waiting for him there, slotting his lips with Yuuji's and swallowing the hum of satisfaction he makes. They move together with passing grace but full wonder, mouths mapping each other out for the second time. When they break apart, his heart is calm.
"I really like you too," Junpei admits, giving in. "I didn't think you'd ever look at me like this, though."
"Of course I would," Yuuji says, and Junpei has to blink when hints of pink color his friend's face. "You're a good person, fun to be with, and… you're kinda hot, you know?"
Nope. In no universe does he know that.
But he doesn't have to if Yuuji's willing to believe it on his own.
He turns around, rendering himself vulnerable inside the cage of Yuuji's arms; it's fine, he knows he's safer there than anywhere else on earth. Junpei strains his head up, brushing their lips together as his own, shy sort of answer. At least if he's flustered, they both are. At least he's not the only one who has zero control when it comes to them.
Yuuji follows when Junpei tips back on his heels, stealing another kiss. Firmer, slotting their mouths together at an angle that allows him to press in hard. A hum builds in Junpei's chest, and he forgets why they're even where they are right now. What's outside the walls surrounding them. Nothing else seems important but the rhythmic give and take of their lips, or the hand that cards through his hair, sometimes slipping down to graze nails against the sensitive nape of his neck. Each time Yuuji does it, Junpei can't fight the tremble that zips down his spine.
This. All of this, he's wholly unprepared for, but he already knows he can't live without it.
The hum pulsing through Junpei morphs into a hot, achy thud of his heart when Yuuji's tongue flicks against his mouth. He parts his lips, sighing softly when their tongues glide over each other, sloppy but good enough for him. He reaches up, laces his arms behind Yuuji's head and leans his body inward. Their chests press together, making his nipples harden from the arch of muscled pectorals against them. It's not the only casualty. Distracted though he is, Junpei doesn't miss the grind of Yuuji's bare erection, or the way his own cock has thickened up inside his briefs.
He's happy to linger where they are for a while, until Yuuji grows bolder.
"Can I touch you?"
"Y-yeah," Junpei says through a shiver. "Please."
A moment later, Yuuji catches him looking tentatively around the room as if expecting someone to burst in and catch them.
"We could go over to the showers?" Yuuji suggests, hiking a thumb toward the space where the tile in the changing room shifts colors from a battered off-white shade to murky blue. Not the most picturesque sight, but Junpei isn't feeling picky at the moment.
Adrenaline pulses through his veins, switching off all the parts of his brain that might have hesitated. Instead, he nods, and lets himself get pulled over to the stall in the furthest corner.
They pile into it, tugging the curtain shut, and then Yuuji is backing him into a corner, attached to him by the lips.
Junpei kisses back fervently, hissing as they go from nipping at each other's mouths, soft and featherlight, to Yuuji's teeth peeling back his lower lip, biting just to hear him groan. Lust boils low in his stomach, spiking quick and deliciously when Yuuji slots a muscular thigh between his and rubs against his hardening cock.
Unable to resist, Junpei grinds down against his leg.
They don't last long like that. Separating from him with a wet smack of their lips, Yuuji stares back intently.
"Can I take these off?" he asks, body canting forward, making slow strokes against Junpei's arousal. Yuuji's fingers grip the waist of his pants. "I'm gonna make you feel good."
The certainty in his words is unnecessary. There isn't a single universe Junpei can imagine right now in which he won't melt under the attention Yuuji is ready to give him. It doesn't matter how, or what—he wants it all, needs to drown in the overwhelming desire that's ignited between them. Embarrassment is a fleeting memory. He wants, and that's all his brain has capacity for.
He nods.
"As long as we both feel good," Junpei adds bashfully.
Can't forget that part, though admittedly, he's feeling too lightheaded to come up with a way to guarantee it. Next time. If there's a next time, he'll do better. He'll be the one to reduce Yuuji to an indulgent mess who can only wait to be given pleasure. He has a few ideas somewhere, tucked safely away from prior nights, that can be dusted off.
"We will," Yuuji replies, grip tightening on Junpei's clothes. "I really want to do this. I've thought about doing it to you a lot."
Then he gives the jeans and briefs a tug, drawing them down, sinking to his knees as he pulls them off. Junpei's eyes widen, shock flattening him against the tiled wall as Yuuji's head levels with his groin. He settles into position, eyes curiously drinking in the sight of Junpei's cock like he really has been spending hours fantasizing about what it'd look like. Yuuji's tongue glosses over his lips in anticipation.
Apparently, he's satisfied with reality.
"Oh," Junpei whispers, flushing. He gulps, stomach fluttering wildly as Yuuji's mouth draws closer. This isn't where he'd thought they were heading. Then again, he's not sure he really expected anything, content to blindly trust in whatever Yuuji had planned. So by default, this fits.
Still, he can't help his reaction when Yuuji grips the shaft of his cock in hand and his tongue makes a slow, thorough drag over his slit. Junpei throws an arm over his face, tightly covering his mouth, but a squeak bubbles out. His blush intensifies, and yet, his eyes are drawn to the top of Yuuji's head. His gaze scrambles away when it tilts up, but returns at the sound of Yuuji's coaxing voice.
"Don't," Yuuji begs up at him, earnestness and desire warming his handsome brown eyes. "I wanna hear you, Junpei."
He can manage that much, can't he?
Junpei lowers his arm.
"There you go," Yuuji says, punctuating the praise with a quick lick below the head of his cock. Junpei gasps, fingers balling into fists at his sides. When he continues, his lips rumble against Junpei's flushed length, sending little shockwaves pulsing down his shaft. "Just like that for me."
A weak groan slips from Junpei's mouth. He's not sure he's ever been more turned on in his life, so the odds of him lasting aren't high. But maybe that doesn't matter. There's a hungry glint in Yuuji's eyes as he devours him, lips wrapping around Junpei's cock and sinking down, that suggests he wants exactly that. To make him desperate, to unravel him quickly, because he can. Because he wants to.
Junpei's head falls back against the shower wall as Yuuji's tongue swirls around him. With each shuddering inhale, the scent of ocean mixes with faint traces of chlorine, sinking into his lungs. It slows down his thoughts to where one breaks through the haze.
He might be in deeper than he thinks, when it comes to his feelings toward Yuuji. There had been a spark from the time they met that Junpei hadn't picked up on then, too lost in rage and hurt to let anything else cross his mind. Once he'd come back to life, the spark had been easier to identify, but he'd still dismissed it as impossible, or an overreaction given how briefly they'd known each other. Now, he's not so sure it is an overreaction. Even if it is strange, or strange timing, he's not sure he cares. Their days together aren't guaranteed, and he isn't feeling cautious.
Maybe it's not a word people throw around lightly, but both of them, separate or together, are far from typical.
"Yuuji," Junpei breathes out, hips slowly rocking deeper into the slickness of his mouth. He smiles before ending his sentence. "Love you, Yuuji."
When he stares down, the desire in Yuuji's eyes has liquified into a clear and enthusiastic endorsement of his confession. Relief suffuses through Junpei. He skims his hand over the soft pink tufts of Yuuji's hair, pushing them back fondly as they melt into each other. Yuuji's other hand is working between his own thighs, making Junpei a little jealous as it fists his cock nice and steady while his throat swallows in perfect tandem. Next time. He's not going to let this be the only one.
Gradually, his moans increase in volume, echoing off the shower walls, hitched and a thousand times more resonant than the squelches from below his waist. At a particularly insistent suck, Junpei slaps a hand to the tile behind him, fingers feeling around blindly for a handhold that doesn't exist. It feels as though his entire essence is being drawn in by the magnet of Yuuji's throat, like he'll disappear if he doesn't find purchase somewhere.
The fingers on his hip slide back, cupping his ass and guiding him closer. He follows more than thrusts, moving until Yuuji's nose is buried in his dark curls, and a muffled groan vibrates around his cock, obliterating the single thread of composure Junpei has left.
Gasping, he slams forward, spilling thickly down Yuuji's throat. Whines leave him as Yuuji swallows each spurt greedily, blunt nails digging into soft flesh and driving him crazy. Junpei barely registers the slick pumps of Yuuji's hand on his own cock, only notices when the welcoming heat he's enveloped by recedes and Yuuji moans his name with a voice that's been run ragged as he comes.
Once he's stopped shaking, Junpei crouches down. He trails a hand along the cut of Yuuji's jaw, then up to his plush lips, rubbing away the last traces of himself there. He smiles, not entirely sure what to do but happy as they stare at each other and continue to catch their breath. They hit a speed bump when Yuuji wraps his arms around him and they stumble back against the wall together, Junpei grunting at the impact. Their bare skin melds to the tiles. At least the air is warm, but he probably wouldn't care either way.
Not when there are kisses being rained down on his cheeks, and a vigorous heartbeat pounding against his skin.
It's perfect right here.
"Love you," Yuuji declares into his ear. "I'm so glad you're... you know," he trails off quietly, hugging him tighter, but Junpei reads him.
"Me too," he says, clinging back.
And for more reasons than what they've done, he's glad. Even if they never made it this far, he would've been happy just to walk at Yuuji's side, another friend, one of many. Nothing beats the way he feels basking in the glow of someone who cares about him, who's dead set against causing him any pain. Living life this way is full of surprises, but Junpei hasn't found one he can't handle yet.
They stay like they are for an interminable amount of time, but then Yuuji huffs out a laugh.
"Still wanna go swimming?" he asks cheekily, grinning at him.
Junpei laughs too, and smiles indulgently.
"Sure, Yuuji. I'll go wherever you take me," he agrees.
There isn't a single hint of teasing in his response because deep down, he knows it's the most honest thing he's ever said.