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Kagome stared at the dark universe themed cards before her, wishing she'd never gotten the urge in the first place to try and read her own future using Tarot. It was a western fascination that had recently come to Japan and when she'd traveled back for the last time, she'd brought the cards with her.
Feeling at odds with herself and her place, she'd decided to do a reading on her love future and reflect on the insight provided.
Death. The card she'd drawn for their relationship. The card was reversed, signaling fear of change, stagnation, failure to respond to negative emotions. They were in their current relationship because they were comfortable with it but that comfort was not love nor made to last.
The Fool. The card she'd drawn for InuYasha. The card was also reversed, signaling a lack of commitment and implying a relationship in the moment rather than a permanent one.
Together, the meanings were already screaming out to her, but coupled with the third card...
The Chariot. The card she'd drawn for her own romantic future. Lacking in direction, obsession with love but not finding it.
Three cards, all reversed, all too blatant to be ignored.
She sighed heavily. "There's only one thing to do, isn't there?" she murmured to herself, her heart heavy. Somehow, she'd believed the cards would bring her hope that things would change for the better, that she'd find the happiness she sought with InuYasha.
Instead, they'd suggested any waiting would be in vain.
She'd known that, even if she'd denied it. They had struggled to communicate in a healthy manner, both demanding, both struggling to see past their pasts. InuYasha struggled with the comparison to Kikyo and Kagome struggled to trust him after all he'd done. She'd been jealous, overwrought, and had trouble believing he would remain true to her when he wasn't around.
This relationship isn't healthy for either of us. She sighed again, wondering just how deep her karma accumulation must be to bring her such misfortune.
The only question now was how would InuYasha handle the news?
"You're leaving me because of these cards?" InuYasha spat out, kicking the deck she'd left on the floor.
The cards scattered, several falling face up, and she immediately took note of them.
Strength. Compassion, inner strength, bravery.
The Devil. Reversed, indicating freedom, restoring control, release.
The Wheel of Fortune. Changes, inevitable fate.
The Tower. Reversed, indicating a disaster avoided.
Their meanings were as clear as the ones she'd drawn that morning had been. She had never been particularly attached to Tarot, but now she wondered if there was more to the cards than she'd realized. Perhaps her reiki interacted with them somehow.
"I'm sorry, InuYasha," Kagome said quietly, meaning every word as he made his way to the door. She had never wanted to hurt him. Nor, she realized now, had he set out to hurt her. "It wasn't the cards; it's something I realized myself."
He turned at the doorway. "You'll never be like Kikyo," he said maliciously before he turned and left her alone in the hut.
"I know," she said quietly though there was no one left to hear her.
Kagome moved in with Kaede and Rin after that. She hadn't spoken a word of the separation, but she hadn't needed to. In a village of this size, it was more than evident without her saying a word.
"Has he spoken to ye?" Kaede asked as she boiled a poultice for an injured villager.
Kagome shook her head. "Not yet," she said, mashing up leaves in a mortar for the poultice.
Kaede sighed. "Give him time," she said gently. "He cares for ye but he has never dealt well with loss. He will come around in time."
Hopefully it's before I die of old age, she thought to herself glumly.
"I will," Kagome said after Kaede continued to stare at her. "I still care for him."
Kaede tutted. "Of course ye do. Anyone with eyes can see that."
"But Kaede-sama, you only have one eye," Rin pipped up from her spot, her hands busy separating the berries from the leaves Kagome needed to mash.
Kagome bit her lip to keep from laughing at how serious Rin sounded.
"Aye, that I do," Kaede said, her own lips twitching in amusement. "Perhaps that is why ye were able to sneak out of here the other night to see your Kohaku-kun, hmm?"
Rin turned bright red as she dropped her gaze back to her berries. She was fifteen now and Kagome suspected that in another year or two, she and Kohaku would be engaged to be married themselves.
For now, however, the two seemed content to regularly sneak out of the village together whenever he visited. It was, without a doubt, the worst kept secret in the entire village.
Kagome and Kaede exchanged an amused look as they returned their attention back to the task at hand.
Rin was only silent for a moment, however, though her cheeks were still a little flushed. "Do the cards really tell your future?" Rin asked eagerly.
Kagome hesitated. "Not exactly," she hedged, choosing her words carefully so she didn't mislead Rin. "It's more that they can provide guidance for your future. You still have to make your own choices, but the cards can help give you insight to do that." She studied Rin, who had begun to fidget. "Why? Did you want me to do a reading for you?"
Rin shook her head. "Not for me," she said, her voice low. "I-I was hoping you'd maybe do a reading for Sesshomaru-sama?"
Kagome rocked back on her heels. "Sesshomaru?" she repeated, stunned. "Why?"
Rin's gaze riveted on the berries before her. "I think he's lonely," she said quietly. "Maybe he can find someone, too."
Kagome's heart went out to the young girl. "I wouldn't mind," she said, though she suspected Sesshomaru himself might. As Rin beamed up at her, she added quickly, "But he'd have to be here to choose the cards himself. That's how it works."
"I will ask him!" Rin said, leaping to her feet as though Sesshomaru was about to enter the hut any moment.
This time, Kagome lost the battle to hide her laughter. "Rin-chan, he's not even here!"
"Oh." Rin dropped back down on her cushion. "You're right." She pressed her lips together to think. After a moment, she clapped her hands. "I'll ask during his next visit!"
Kagome wasn't entirely sure Sesshomaru would agree to a romantic card reading, though he often indulged Rin more often than not, but she wasn't about to dishearten Rin by saying that aloud, either. If the notion made her happy, what harm was there in that?
A few days later, Rin came running into the hut, practically collapsing as she tried to breathe.
"Rin-chan?" Kagome rushed over in concern, hand already wrapped around her bow and arrows. Kaede had gone out on a house call, leaving Kagome alone to deal with whatever emergency had Rin racing into the hut. "Rin-chan, what's wrong?"
"Sesshomaru-sama is here!" Rin got out, coughing as she took a deep breath. "And he agreed!"
Kagome's eyes widened. "He agreed?" she repeated dumbly.
Rin nodded eagerly. "And he's on his way here!" she chirped.
Kagome looked around the hut, noting how poorly equipped they were for company at that moment. There was a good bit of clutter from Kaede's preparations earlier for her patient, not to mention the pile of flowers Rin had picked to weave later. Worse still, they had no fresh water to boil for tea, nor any snacks ready.
Though she suspected Sesshomaru would reject any food offered to him.
"We'll need some water for tea," she mused, rubbing the back of her neck. Sesshomaru had no doubt agreed to indulge Rin, but she doubted he was thrilled at the idea. Anything she could do to put him in a better mood would be well worth the effort.
"I got it, I got it!" Rin grabbed the kettle and ran off towards the stream when more energy than Kagome would have thought possible after her race to the hut moments before.
"So I guess we're doing this." Kagome sighed and set out her Tarot deck before doing what she could to straighten the hut.
She had just laid out their spare cushion for guests when Sesshomaru walked into the hut. "Good afternoon, Sesshomaru. Rin went to get water for tea."
He inclined his head.
"Why don't you have a seat?" She waves a hand to the cushion she'd just set out, hoping he couldn't sense her nervousness.
His lips quirked as he sat down. He seemed out of place in the small hut, like a king visiting a commoner.
Kagome cleared her throat. "Should we get started or wait for the tea?"
Sesshomaru quirked a brow. "You will begin."
"Right." Kagome sat down on her own cushion and took a deep breath. "And you want the reading done on your romantic future?"
Rin wasn't there, so if he wasn't amendable to the idea, Kagome could always offer to do a reading of his future in general instead.
"Hnnn." He stared at her and she resisted the urge to squirm.
Kagome took that to mean 'yes.'
"OK, then. Well, the first thing you should know is that Tarot is not just a means of reading the future or your romantic relationships," she said stiffly, shifting on her cushion as she began to shuffle the cards. She felt a little odd as she said the words she'd been taught by Ayumi to say before doing a reading to anyone not familiar with Tarot. "It's a way to see into the unconscious self, but we may not always like what we see. As a general reminder, the readings are only accurate for the moment they're done in. Your future is still your own and it is up to you to decide how to move forward. I won't tell you want you want to hear; I'll only tell you what I see. Is that okay?"
Sesshomaru nodded curtly.
"Okay, good." Kagome set the deck down in front of Sesshomaru. "Choose three cards and put them facedown in front of you. Don't move or touch them once they're in front of you. Like this." She showed him how to fan out the deck before handing him the shuffled deck of cards.
As he took the cards, Rin came in with the pot.
"Oh, it's starting!" she said, delighted, as she put the pot over the fire. Rin rushed over to sit on her own cushion, evidently intent on observing the entire reading.
Kagome hid a sigh. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, didn't seem the least bit bothered as he carefully selected three cards while ensuring his claws did not accidentally damage them in the process.
"Alright," she said once three cards were facedown. "Keep in mind that each card has its own purpose. The first card represents who you are as a person. The second card represents what you bring to a relationship. The last card represents your future. Are you ready?"
He inclined his head.
"This is the first card, so this one will symbolize you." Kagome took a deep breath and flipped over the first card and then abruptly recalled the last time she'd seen that card. "This is Strength," she said, taking another deep breath to steady her voice. "It's in the upright position, so it symbolizes inner strength, confidence, and fortitude. You do well under pressure and are able to maintain inner clarity even when stressed. You have the patience to pursue your desires and are willing to put in the work to achieve them. It also symbolizes compassion for others." She thought of his affection for Rin. "You would help support anyone you care for, even at the expense of yourself. You are fearless and have no concerns about speaking your mind. You possess both inner and outer strength and this is why those around you naturally come to depend on you for guidance and support."
"Hnn." He seemed pleased as he inclined his head again.
So far, so good. She hid a relieved sigh.
"This next card, which represents what you bring to a relationship." She flipped over the card, surprised at the card there before her. "This is The Emperor," she said, mulling over her thoughts. It wasn't a common card in Tarot love readings. "It's in the upright position, so it represents tradition, structure, and discipline. Your dignity is important to you and you wish to maintain it in your relationships. You prefer to choose your relationships based on logic and reasoning and have difficulty expressing your emotion."
She heard Rin's quiet giggle.
"You are older and established, more than capable of providing for yourself and your future partner. If you're not careful, though, you could end up stifling or suffocating her in the process. If you want your future relationship to succeed, you have to accept this part of yourself but embrace your emotions and be willing to vocalize them so your spouse feels more of a partner and less of a subject."
She glanced up, noting Sesshomaru's expression was blank as he stared down at the card. "Should I stop?" she asked, feeling oddly hesitant at not knowing what he was thinking.
"But isn't the last card the most important one?" Rin leaned over to study the face down card. "That's the future, right?"
Kagome nodded, at a loss for words. She couldn't read Sesshomaru's expression at all.
Rin reached out to flip it over.
Kagome reached out to stop her, pressing her palm down on the card so that Rin couldn't flip it. "He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, Rin. This is just a tool, like I said. It only means as much as you want it to."
"Rin." Sesshomaru's voice was strong as he met Kagome's gaze. "Jaken wishes to see you."
Rin's face fell but she didn't argue as she got up. "Of course, Sesshomaru-sama." She left the hut quietly though her disappointment was clear.
Kagome pulled her hand back, expecting him to want her to pack up the cards.
"Show me," he said to her surprise. He glanced down at the card so she could not mistake his meaning.
"You're sure?" she asked. When he nodded, she flipped it over quickly and then gaped in astonishment. "This is the High Priestess," she said, trying to speak quickly lest he get the wrong idea. "She represents wisdom, a need to search within yourself for something you already know but haven't accepted. For your future, it represents—"
"I am aware of what it represents," he said bluntly, picking up the card to gently stroke the face of the priestess with her thumb.
She stared at him dumbly. "You are?"
He held the card out to her and she took it as his gaze seemed to bore into her. "There is only one priestess that I see." His voice was a low rumble, one that was soothing yet enticing at the same time. "I must embrace my emotions. That is what you said, correct?"
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The look in his eyes should be unmistakable and yet she was very much afraid what would happen if she was wrong.
"You and InuYasha are no longer together." It wasn't a question but she nodded again anyway. "You are the only priestess I have ever taken note of, Kagome."
She inhaled sharply. "You—that's not what—I—"
He reached out to pull her into his embrace, knocking over the deck of cards in the process. He settled her against his chest and she could hear his heart beneath her ear.
It was pounding as wildly as her own.
"I have always desired you, Kagome," he said gently, his hands gently holding her to him. He seemed both mindful of his strength and his claws, for he neither held her so tight she couldn't leave if she wanted to nor held her so his claws dug into her tender flesh.
She found that she didn't want to move. It felt natural to be in his arms and she remembered her earlier words. He definitely makes people feel safe and cared for, whether he says how he feels aloud or not.
"I always thought you were handsome," she conceded after a moment, chuckling as his heart immediately picked up at her words.
He moved one hand to cup the back of her head, urging her head back so he could look down at her face. "I envied InuYasha for having your affections and your loyalty."
She could read the truth of that in his gaze. "Well, you have them now," she managed with a flush. "If you want them, I mean." InuYasha might be frustrated with the turn of events, but she no longer worried about keeping his affections.
Her friend would come around in time, but even if he didn't, she wasn't going to lose her own chance at happiness in the process.
"I want them." He then bent his head to kiss her.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one card face up in the upright position.
The Lovers.
Conscious, meaningful relationship, open communication, soul mates—and most importantly, choice.