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Kai doesn’t remember how exactly he died.
He remembers surprise, pain in his stomach, and then pain everywhere.
Nya says it’s his brain’s way of protecting him. “Trauma,” she called it. Considering his circumstances, it was perfectly understandable he blocked out the memories. People react to trauma differently, children especially. Kai, while chronologically 24, died at ten years old.
Privately, he wished he remembered more. Kai didn’t like not knowing things, and how you died was an important thing to know. Anytime he asked, he would get shut down. Nya he could excuse because she wasn’t there like the others were. She knew as much as he did.
Everyone else would avoid telling him in some way. Bonnie would ramble on a completely different topic; a new guitar song, the new device he built, and a cool thing Nya showed him on Youtube are just some of the things Kai experienced. Chico would just…shut down and leave after a moment or two.
And Freddy?
Freddy scared Kai sometimes.
The others are careful to handle him with care. His bo—Foxy’s body. He could feel “his” body, if he could even call it that anymore, inside his new, broken down one. Kai didn’t like to think about it. Maybe that’s why everyone else decided to call themselves the name of the animatronics they were possessing instead of their real names?
Either way, whether the body was “his” or “Foxy’s,” it was really broken down compared to the others. His endoskeleton showed on his legs, left hand, and other various places. His jaw hung broken, but that never seemed to affect how he spoke. Occasionally he would start to shake uncontrollably, and Bonnie, or now Nya, would have to change the batteries in his limbs.
Everyone pointedly ignored his middle, as if they knew exactly what was there.
Kai only asked Freddy once. He didn’t mean to make him upset! He just wanted to know! Anyone would want to know!
But did he? He asked himself. Even secluded in Pirates’ Cove, he could sometimes hear one or all of them screaming.
Freddy had been so angry. His affinity started to act up and the walls of the pizzeria shook so hard, Kai’s jaw almost fell off. One of the joints was rusty and stuck from years of disuse, so his jaw ended up dangling from his face. It hurt? But it also didn’t? Kai didn’t understand but it shocked him at the time, and it still did now. He tried to avoid making Freddy angry ever since.
Why? Why was it so bad if he knew?
So, now he was hiding in Pirates’ Cove with the curtains shut tight. He could hear everyone talking about something. Chico pulled Nya aside to talk earlier and they’ve been talking ever since. Eventually, Bonnie and Freddy joined the discussion, but Kai had a feeling he wasn’t welcomed to this one. Which, by the way, is completely unfair! He was older than Bonnie by a year and Golden by five.
Speaking of Golden…
The yellow bear appeared by his side while he was brooding. Golden never talked much. Kai didn’t know his name from before, but given everyone else’s reactions, he was afraid to ask. But that’s ok! Kai didn’t need to know that to talk to him, not that Golden talked back much, but he was a good listener.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked Golden. Kai flexed his metal hand, not bothering to look up. He knew Golden was listening. “I just…I need to know.” he sighed and leaned back against the wall. Golden sat right next to him. He didn’t say anything, but he nodded for Kai to continue on. That made him feel a little better.
“They’re doing something,” he explained. “Something important, I think. But anytime I try to ask about it, I’m told I shouldn’t worry about it.” Kai blinked his mechanical eyes. He should be crying right now. He’d get embarrassed by it sure, but at least he could. His eyes felt painfully dry.
Golden Freddy said nothing, pinpricks of light watching his movements.
Kai flicked his ears and tilted his ears to the ground. It was the closest thing he could get to a frown. “I hear them in the hall sometimes, when they think I’m powered down. I know Freddy mentioned a plan once, Chico said something about revenge…”
He scratched the stage with his hook. His hand felt warm and the hook gave off steam but Kai paid no mind. “I feel useless and I hate it! I know enough to know that we were murdered probably, that’s it. If I remembered like the others, maybe I could help! What if I saw his face? What if I fought back hard enough that the killer got hurt and already died?”
“You feel lonely.”
Kai didn’t need to open his jaw to speak, but it was habit. His jaw hung open, purposely this time, as he tried to find a way to respond.
Golden stood straight up, pricks of light meeting amber mechanical eyes. Kai had never seen Golden do…well…anything except sit crumpled on the floor while he talked to his heart’s content. Golden was a good listener, but Kai thought he was mute at this point. His voice was softer, younger, than he expected.
He knew that Golden was six when he died, but hearing his voice…
That could have been Nya.
Kai realized that Golden was still waiting for a response. He didn’t know if Golden’s joints hurt from moving so much so he scrambled for an answer. “Um, I guess? Kind of? I feel like an outsider sometimes, y’know? I’m already separated from everyone—” he gestured to Pirates’ Cove, even though the purple, starry curtains were shut tight around them. “—I can’t make them feel better because I don’t know! They know things that I don’t, so…”
He pulled up his knees and rested his arms on them. “Yeah, I guess I’m lonely. I feel like I’m there, but I’m not?” He turned his attention back on Golden. “Does that make sense?”
Once he said it out loud, he felt ridiculous. Golden probably knew exactly what he felt like. As far as Kai was aware, Golden wasn’t a people person. He kept his distance from him and the others usually, unless one of them was alone.
Golden sat in silence. An unnatural chill came over Kai, like he was being examined. After a few moments, Golden slowly tilted his head.
“They don’t want you to worry,” Golden whispered, as if sharing a dark secret. Maybe he was, if Kai thought about. “Something bad happened and you couldn’t protect them.” He tilted his head again, trying to give Kai what he thought was a sad smile, but there was only so much motion their bodies could make.
Kai didn’t say anything. How could he? What do you even say about that kind of thing? Golden didn’t say anything else either. The silence hung heavy and awkward, but companionable at the same time. Everyone else were still in a heated debate if the raised voices were anything to go off of.
“You tried to stop them,” Golden murmured after a while, gaze black as the void. “I could feel Cole’s excitement. It clouded his judgement.” Golden shifted a bit, facing away from kai and straight ahead at the curtains. Kai somehow knew Golden wasn’t focusing on the curtains at all. “Jay and Zane were also enamored with the pizzeria. None of them had been to a Freddy’s Establishment before.”
Golden snapped his head back to Kai so quickly, Kai let out a startled yelp. High pitched, wheezy laughter echoed through the room. “Except for you,” he bared his teeth. “You knew something was off when Spring lured you to the back room.”
Kai’s hands started to shake.
“You tried to dissuade them,” Golden continued in a softer tone. “But they wouldn’t listen.”
“Jay died first,” Kai whispered. He scooted closer to Golden, hoping he could help with the shaking of his body. “I think…I think there was a knife?”
Golden nodded, allowing Kai to lean on him for support. “Jay’s was quick, but he was awake every step of the way.”
“There was a lot of red.” Kai stared at his hands. “There was too much.” Golden nodded his head and jerkily placed his arm around Kai’s shoulders.
“Zane and Cole were thrown against the wall. Only Cole stood back up. A victory short lived.”
“I pushed him out of the way,” Kai remembered. Flashes of memories dancing just beyond his vision, too fuzzy to recall, but there all the same. “All I did was hurt him more.” His hand brushed against his side, a mild phantom pain twinging.
“They don’t blame you,” Golden said again. “You lasted the longest.”
“I could have done more…” Kai tried to snap his jaw closed, but the loose joints wouldn’t let it stay. “I could have screamed or something!”
“He was prepared for that,” Golden countered. “All it would have done was kill you faster.”
Nothing more was said, but Golden stayed. The hum of the air conditioning and the curtains swishing with it were the only sounds in Pirates’ Cove. The two animatronics could hear faint discussion down the hall. It was not as heated as before, but it sounded strained from the tone.
As the conversation along with footsteps grew louder, Kai began to feel the energy build up beside him. “One question,” he whispered softly. “Before you go. Cole… did he…?” He couldn’t get the words out, as if held back by an invisible force.
Golden understood though. “He passed just as he was stuffed. He succumbed to the headwound.”
Kai nodded and muttered goodbye as Golden disappeared from view. Once again, he was left alone. Kai ignored the fact that Golden never told him how he died. He knew enough from what wasn’t said and the fuzzy pictures he had left.
The footsteps and sentences grew louder but Kai paid no mind. He needed to think. He forced himself to stand up and take a position. He didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. He understood now, why everyone was so hesitant to tell him, but he just…
He needed to process.
So, with that, he decided to shut himself down for the day. It’s alright, he thought to himself. If they really need him, they can shake him or ask Golden to wake him up.
He fell asleep just as his friends and sister cross the threshold.