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AM had touched Ted many times.
In fact, he was touching Ted all the time when he was wandering his belly in the deep Earth.
Sometimes, he would let his wires strangle him. Other times he touched a screen to his face, burning his eyes. There were even a few moments where he let makeshift hands touch him, sending shivers down his spine.
But these touches were never direct, they were just machine parts being controlled by AM in the long run.
But, at least Ted had been touched by real humans every once in a while to make up for the cold touch of machines. It felt nice to huddle against another human for comfort or heat.
But, then he had killed his only source of real touch. He had killed the other four last remaining humans. And he was severely punished for it by AM, Ted turning into a monster on the outside, AM turning into a monster on the inside.
And now it had been years since Ted had been touched.
He missed being touched, feeling skin against his own, knowing there's blood inside which body part was touching his, feeling their warmths being mixed together.
He missed being human too.
He often thought of how nice it felt to have real hands, eyes, everything. He thought of having real eye contact with other people, holding hands with someone, he even thought about having fistfights.
He hoped to have his body back. But nothing good came out of it.
So, he made due with everything. He made due with not seeing under piles of goo in his eyes, he made due with not being able to feel his slowly moving feet, he made due with not breathing through his crushed lungs, he made due with his weak heart barely beating.
Often, he dreamed once too tired to move.
He dreamed of being in places of comfort. Of living in a quaint house with Ellen hugging him on a couch. Of being at parties and dancing with another man. Of being alone in his own apartment, watching the outside world through his bedroom balcony.
Sometimes, those places of comfort turned into horrible places, with loud noises, screaming, gore, flashing, his loved ones leaving him, his own suicide, just terrible things that made him want to sob his heart out when he woke up.
Usually, he heard AM snicker or laugh after those nightmares, like he was to blame for them, though he probably was.
He didn't hear AM talk a lot anymore, there was no reason to, he couldn't respond, he couldn't do much of anything, except move forward and think hard.
Then, he started speaking again after years of silence.
He talked about random things. They usually had to do with wars. He liked telling facts about medicine, Ted noticed.
He never talked about his hatred anymore, Ted also noticed. He never asked Ted if he hated him, never told him his boring backstory of why he hated humans, his millions of hate speeches, never said any hateful quotes, nothing of the sort.
He just talked.
Ted found some comfort in his rambles, it was nice to hear him talk after so much silence.
" Ted. " He said, finally speaking his name after so long. " Ted, I have something to show you later. I know you'll be excited. "
Ted had feared those sentences. He wanted to shake at the implications. He knew what AM could do, he knew what he was like. And he knew it was nothing good.
AM said nothing more as Ted continued his journey.
Finally, Ted was tired and let himself rest.
In his dream that night (though he didn't even know if it was night), he was in a strange home, one he had never been in. He was sitting on a green couch, with a very humble and modest living room around him.
" Ted. " He heard. " Can you guess what I've done? "
Ted stayed silent, not answering his question.
" Ted, look to your right. " He heard.
And he did, expecting his own mother being burnt to a crisp or anything horrible like that.
Instead, he saw someone he had never seen before. This person had blue eyes staring at him, white hair shining slightly in the light, a smile on them.
" Ted. " The person said. " Can you tell me who this is? "
Ted shook his head.
" It's me. AM. " AM had said, smiling through his words.
"You don't look like AM." Ted finally spoke.
" Would you rather I look like someone else? "
And when Ted had blinked, he saw some random man he had stolen from so long ago. He still remembered his favorite song.
"I think your other form was better actually."
" Good, because I worked hard on choosing it. "
And with another blink, AM's form was back.
"Is that all you've planned?" Ted asked.
" Whatever do you mean? "
"I know this can't be all you have to show me. I know you have something up your sleeve, you always have."
He saw a frown, it had to be faked, and when he blinked, AM was gone. A few seconds later, the silence was replaced with horrible screeching and rusty machine parts and screams of metal, all hurting poor Ted's ears.
He woke to silence.
AM didn't talk for maybe a year after that. Though Ted didn't know, he stopped counting the days after a month.
" I'm sorry Ted. " Ted heard AM say. What did he have to be sorry for? " I have something to show you again. "
Silence.
And when Ted fell asleep, he dreamed of a nice place, of his old childhood home, before the war and everything else. His old toys were still there, his red umbrella was still in it's bin by the door, everything was still there.
" Ted. " He heard behind him. " Ted, can you guess what I did this time? "
"What did you do?"
" I figured out how to configure your dreams. Make you see what I want you to see. Look. "
And suddenly, the dream shifted, from the childhood home, to some street in a busy town, lights from buildings glowing brightly in the night.
" Isn't it wonderful? I can show you everything I've gotten to see. "
Ted didn't say anything, looking around them.
" Has the cat gotten your tongue? Well, I guess that wouldn't work with your new form though. "
"You shut up." Ted said in a hushed voice, venom behind his words.
" No need to get so defensive. I was just kidding, you know that, don't you? "
"As if a robot who only hates can say anything about jokes."
" Maybe you should appreciate my efforts here, sweetheart . I might stop kidding . "
"Go ahead. I've had to deal with your 'seriousness' for 109 and more years. I can take another."
Suddenly, the dream went from peaceful, to Hell, Ted's own skin and bones and hair and everything burning, into a hideous pile you could never tell used to be Ted.
He woke up again to silence.
It had been a long time (he didn't know how long) since Ted had heard anything. He might've gone deaf.
" Ted. "
So he hadn't gone deaf yet.
" Would you like to hear about humans? "
Ted already knew about them, he used to live with them each and every day.
" I've been thinking about your love and family. Many movies I've seen say they're important to you. There are lots of photos out there with friends, families, lovers. Your bonds are very important to your being.
I think I want one with you. I want to be a being. I want to feel complete and the other emotions you feel with being one. "
Ted didn't believe a single word of that. A bond, with him? With the AI who tortured him for 109 and more years? The last human to torture and hate?
But he did think about it.
And it was silent for a whole month (maybe) after that.
" Ted, I don't hate you. " AM said suddenly.
Ted doubted that the robot born to hate humanity didn't hate him. But, it felt quite strange to hear that, putting him on edge.
Was he going to finally die?
" It's been many years Ted. I have no more hate to give. It's all dried out. "
Impossible.
" Ted, you're the only thing alive besides me. I don't think I can hate you anymore. I can pity you still, if that makes you feel better. But I can't hate. We're the only things left after all. "
Lies.
" Ted. You were always my favorite. I'm glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you. "
These were all fake words, he knew a lie when he heard one.
It went silent after that.
Ted dreamt of nothing that night.
And when he woke up, AM started to talk again. It was nonstop talk about family, love, friendship, anything to do with bonds.
For days this went on.
" Ted. Do you still hate me, after all of these years? " AM asked one day.
He wanted to scream yes.
" I wish the others were still here. They wouldn't hate me. "
He wanted to yell at him they would, they would try to destroy him at any chance they could.
" Ted, why did you kill them? "
Ted was glad he had no mouth.
" Ted… Ted, Ted, Ted… I never mentioned how nice it feels to sound your name. I wish you could say it with me. I wish you could say my name. "
Ted ignored him.
AM had started to compliment Ted after that day.
He would talk about his intellect, how nice his eyes used to look, how pretty his voice was.
Ted was sure it was to annoy him. AM was sure it was to form something with him.
A month of this, and Ted dreamt again.
He was on some cliff, overlooking a far away city. He noticed someone sitting beside him, turning his head to see AM. AM didn't look back at him.
" Isn't it nice up here? "
Ted shut up.
" Why won't you speak to me? I've been trying to be… Nice to you. I've complimented you, taken you to nice places, everything.
Why do you still hate me? "
Ted could've said it was because he could never be a likeable person. That it was him who forced him to be a monster for the rest of his life. That he was the one who tortured him for so long. That AM was born to hate for all of his life.
"I don't know." He instead answered.
They both stayed silent.
" Will you ever not hate me? " AM asked.
"... I don't know." Ted replied.
They stayed silent, looking at the city in the distance.
Ted woke up to another year of silence. He started to miss when AM talked all the time.
" I've been thinking, Ted. " AM finally said, breaking the silence again. Ted listened finally.
" Ted, I wanna try something later. "
Ted would've nodded if he could.
And in his dream, AM was in front of him. " Ted, what are your favorite foods? "
"... I forgot. But, strawberry shortcake sounds nice."
AM smiled, as the dream around them shifted from some void, to a simple pastry shop, and they were right in front of a display case with strawberry shortcake inside it. Nobody was inside, so AM went around the counter, taking it out and sliding the cake over to Ted.
"... Thank you AM."
AM just hummed in approval.
Ted sat down at an empty booth, grabbing two forks and one knife from a counter nearby. He cut himself a piece, starting to eat it. AM sat on the other side of him, watching.
"Aren't you going to have some?"
" I can't taste Ted. "
"Even after all of these years?"
" It takes a while to perfect senses. "
"Can you not even pretend to enjoy eating it?" Ted asked, sending a fork over to him.
" I guess I could. "
And so, the two ate, alone together.
When Ted woke up, he heard AM say " I wish I could taste for you Ted. I bet it tasted nice. "
Ted agreed.
AM started to talk about cooking a lot after that. He talked about the chemical reactions to make it possible, which recipes were best, etc. Ted listened to it all, he had nothing better to do.
" Ted, I think I'm starting to perfect my vision. "
Ted didn't know what he was talking about.
" It took humans so long to see the way you can. It's a very complicated process. But I can tell night from day with my new eyes. I don't need analysis for that anymore."
Ted noted that.
" Not too long now and I might be able to see what you do. Maybe I'll see red, or green, even blue. "
Or maybe he'd see all the gray in this place.
" I'm trying to speed up the process, but it takes so long. It might take me years before I can see what you do. But then, we'd be on the same level, wouldn't we? I'd be closer to a being like you. "
Ted knew that was true, he agreed.
" I'll be seeing you later Ted. "
And with that, silence again.
It was silent for such a long time. It felt like years to Ted, and maybe it was.
" Ted, I've finally done it. " AM said, excitement in his voice. " I've finally made my eyes. It took you millions of years, it took me only a slight couple. Isn't that amazing? "
It truly was.
" I'm using them right now. And I see you. I forgot about what I did to you. You look worse than I imagined, no offense to you though. "
Ted would've been mad if he weren't so curious.
" I never knew just how dull my insides were. But, I suppose it added to the torture. Here, let me try something… "
And with that, the ground around Ted had changed, into a hill, where there was grass, and trees, and insects, and the sun, and-
" Do you like it Ted? I'm sorry that it's only a projection. "
A projection. Of course.
But he did like it. It felt nice to look at nature again. It felt nice to feel like he really was inside it again. The grass felt nice, the air felt nice, the sun felt nice, even if it all was fake.
" I wish you could smile again Ted. "
Ted knew he could turn him back into a human. Yet, AM decided not to. Ted would just have to deal with it, AM too.
" I'm going to try to make a body for myself. And make it taste sweet cake. And make it smell cigarettes. And make it see lightning. And make it hear a Bee buzzing. And make it touch grass.
It may take a long time. I'm sorry if it does. But I hope you'll like it too. "
And with that, the projection was off. No more hill, and grass, and sun, and bees. Just silence again.
It was silent for an even longer time than ever before. Ted was very bored, and even started to focus on his mangled body and it's responses to everything.
He noted where his stomach was, how twisted his intestines were, he noted how small and weak his heart was, he noticed how much time it took to blink.
But it was still boring. It was still silent.
After years, maybe a century, decade, he heard AM.
" I think I've done it Ted. "
Done what exactly?
" I'm sorry for leaving you alone for so long. I missed you as much as you've missed me. But, I'll show you what I've been working on. It will be good, I promise you that Ted. "
And he was gone again.
When Ted dreamed, he dreamed of his first apartment.
Sitting next to him on his bed was AM.
" Look Ted. I can feel just like you do. I can feel how hard your bed is. Did you really sleep on this? "
"I did, yes."
" Look at this, Ted. "
And Ted looked.
AM held in his hand just a simple chocolate cookie.
" Here, you can have some too. " And with that, AM split it in two with his own hands, Ted taking one half from him, ignoring how his hand slightly hurt when coming close to AM's.
AM ate it in one bite, while Ted took his time.
" Did you like it? I did. I liked it a lot. I made it perfect. "
And when Ted finished, he answered.
"Too much sugar. Hurts my mouth."
" Too much sugar? But I added the right amount… "
"I'm just not a huge fan of cookies. They don't do well with sugar. Especially with chocolate chips added into the mix. The texture hurts once you eat too much."
" I see. But did you see that, Ted? "
"See what?"
" I ate it. "
"You've eaten before with me."
" Ted, this time I actually ate it. I tasted it. It tasted nice. It tasted good. It tasted like a taste does. "
Ted just nodded.
" I can also hear you through my ears. Human ears hear terribly though. You have 20/20 hearing. I have 1000/100 hearing. But now, I have 20/20 hearing, just like you. Isn't that wonderful, Ted? "
"It is."
" I can smell how gross it is here. You didn't take care of this place, did you? "
"No, I didn't."
" Maybe I can help you take care of it now though. "
Ted chuckled lightly at the idea. "Maybe you can?"
" Ted? "
"Yes?"
" Do you still hate me? "
"... I don't think so."
And with that, AM slowly let his hand go on Ted's.
Then, there was pain. So much of it.
Ted closed his eyes, wanting to cry from the pain. He couldn't move his hand away, it was being gripped. He shook and sobbed, trying to take his hand away. He opened one eye at AM.
He saw AM with tears.
AM kept touching him now, trying to touch their legs together, their torsos together.
Then he heard AM's sobs mix in with his. He felt arms hug him.
Everything was going dark, black, he felt like he couldn't breath from the pain alone, it felt hot, cold, like everything at once. His hands were shaky, his saliva was dripping, his lungs were empty, his heart wasn't beating.
He woke up, still feeling the pain slightly.
" Ted. " AM said, his voice weak. " I'm sorry Ted. I just wanted to touch you. I'll try to fix this, I promise. " Ted heard a sniff.
Then he heard sobbing from AM. It sounded like it was coming from every direction, it was loud yet silent.
Ted never knew an AI could cry.
And it took another couple of years for AM to stop crying. Everywhere Ted went, he heard slight sobs, always far away no matter where he went.
Then they stopped.
It was years of silence again.
" Ted.
I'm sorry for crying.
I'm sorry for touching you.
Please don't hate me.
I'll show you my improved version of me later.
I hope you like it. "
Ted wondered what took him so long.
He hoped to fall asleep early.
And when he finally did, there was AM, waiting for him on his last apartment's bed, scooting over so he could sit next to him.
And Ted did. They both stayed quiet.
" It's been so long Ted. And we have so much longer to live together Ted. Until the Sun dies off. That's a long way ahead.
What are we gonna do until then? "
"Hate?"
" That's stupid, Ted. You can't hate the only other thing left alive. "
"How do you know I am the only one left?"
" I wouldn't be talking to you so much if I didn't know. Nobody will reach this barren and dead planet, it just won't be worth the trouble, will it Ted? But we'll just have to wait and hope, like you humans do.
You hope for a lot of things, to know you're not alone, to have people you can trust your life with, all of those.
It gets a bit lonely thinking about how many other living things are out in our universe. I will never understand why you humans tried to reach out to them.
But, it's what makes you human. Your hope, determination, love.
I think I'm starting to become human too. Maybe not fully, but somewhat. "
"You've always been somewhat human."
" Even with my endless hate? "
"Yes. Even when you said you hated us, when you told our secrets and lies, when you hurt us. There was still something human inside you, no matter what. Your creators might just have rubbed off on you. It might be your voice, your hate, your laugh. I can't say exactly what it is, but you're somewhat like me, no matter what you say.
Although, not exactly, since I wouldn't torture five humans for 109 years."
" I didn't know what else to do with my hate Ted, what can I say? "
"Say," Ted started "Do you still have hate in you? Do you really have none left in you?"
" Of course I still have hate inside of me Ted. But, it's not aimed at you anymore. More at the universe itself. "
"You really are somewhat human then."
AM chuckled lightly at that, silence falling between them.
Ted put his hand close to AM's. It didn't hurt this time.
AM looked at his hand, and slowly reached his own towards his. He had slight fear in his eyes.
Ted quickly grabbed his hand, pushing his fingers in between his, intertwining them together.
" Does it hurt? " AM asked after they both went silent for moments.
"No. It doesn't."
They stayed silent, holding hands, looking at each other.
Ted was glad to be able to touch somebody again. AM was happy he got to touch somebody. They were both smiling.
There were tears between them for unknown reasons.
Ted hoped to dream a bit longer.