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It’s the fifth giggling fit of the night when Jimin feels his patience start to slip.
They’re watching a movie, just the two of them, and Jimin hadn’t realized just how many opportunities for laughter there would be. It’s a child’s animation, something with fantastical characters and slapstick humor, and every time something even slightly ridiculous happens, the giggles start up again.
And not just any giggles. They’re Hoseok giggles.
And Hoseok giggles are something else. There’s no timid chuckling. No hushed laughter. Giggles from Hoseok means keeling over as he gasps with uncontrolled breath, reaching across the couch to grab onto Jimin’s arm to anchor himself, pushing his face into Jimin’s shoulder as his entire body shakes. There’s no hiding from the Hoseok kind of giggles. They’re as interactive as a laugh can be.
And Jimin just doesn’t know how much more he can take.
This crush thing… Jimin will admit it snuck up on him. And maybe he’s not handling it so well at the current moment.
Hoseok shrieks again. “Oh my god, I can’t, I can’t-” he gasps out a raspy laugh. “Jimin, did you see?”
Jimin didn’t see. He’s so wrapped up in his own thoughts that whatever’s happening on screen feels like it's a million miles away. But he nods anyway. “Yeah, hyung, I saw.” He pats Hoseok’s hand where it’s tugging on his shirt sleeve. “This is awesome. Hilarious.”
Hoseok is laughing too hard to notice that Jimin’s not even looking at the TV. And Jimin’s pining too hard to care that he’s being ignored.
Jimin sighs.
The thing is, when they were in university, sure- Jimin will admit he felt an attraction to Hoseok. But he felt an attraction to a lot of people in his college years. All it took was one sly look from someone at a dorm party and in the next 5 minutes he was in their lap asking if they wanted to see him tie a cherry stem with his tongue. He was young, he was horny, and it was fun. There was nothing to look into just because he thought Hoseok was one of the hottest people he’d ever seen. It’d be weird if he wasn’t attracted to someone with such a thorough skin care routine.
But university came and went, and now it’s been 4 years since graduating. 4 years and he’s here with the same roommate, on the same shitty couch they found at a charity shop during Jimin’s sophomore year. 4 years, and the horny-at-all-times vibes have died down, but the Hoseok-is-super-fucking-hot vibes have decidedly not.
And the oh-shit-I-kinda-want-to-kiss-my-hyung-straight-on-the-mouth vibes have blindsided him completely.
Jimin’s brought back to the present when Hoseok gasps and tugs on his sleeve again. “Oh no… oh no, Jimin, I don’t think they’re gonna make it.”
Jimin focuses on the screen to see two characters struggling to make it to the top of a mystical mountain before some countdown reaches its end. He wants to say that it's a children’s movie, there’s no way it will have anything but a happy ending. But instead he hums in sympathizing agreement. “Woah, yeah. I’m not sure, hyung.”
Jimin watches as Hoseok covers his mouth with a hand, holding his breath in anticipation. Jimin frowns a little when he can’t see the beauty mark on his lip anymore, and then sighs in disappointment at himself for being so blatantly whipped.
The characters make it in time, and Hoseok gasps in relief. “Oh, thank god.” He lets out a softer laugh this time. “Oh my god, imagine if the characters just failed and that’s how it ended? With a grizzly death off the side of this mountain?”
Jimin smiles down at him, even though he isn’t looking. The beauty mark is out in the open again. “You’re right, that’d be so wild, hyung.”
Hoseok hums happily and leans away, only to slide his feet across the cushions so they’re tucked under Jimin’s thighs. Sometimes Hoseok will refer to the place between the couch and Jimin’s legs as his “toes’ favorite place, like a soft, warm bed, all safe and tucked away.” Whenever he does, Jimin has to lie down on his bed with a soothing lavender pack pressed to his temple for an hour until he’s feeling less overwhelmed.
Hoseok wiggles his toes into Jimin's thighs to get his attention. (As if you didn’t already have my full attention, Jimin thinks.)
“I love the animation in this, it reminds me of those little doodles you used to do in college. Remember, the ones you did during breaks at dance practice? They were so cute,” Hoseok giggles under his breath. “And you'd do them in your planner and never let anyone but me see because you were shy.”
"What are you talking about, I wasn't shy-"
"Shy in front of our Jungkookie," Hoseok sing songs, extending his words with more giggles.
Jimin scoffs, shifting his eyes back to Hoseok as if he hadn’t been staring at him seconds before. “I was not shy in front of Jungkookie, I just knew his drawings were better than mine and I didn’t feel like subjecting myself to the comparison.”
“Mhmm, sure,” Hoseok smirks. “We all know you had a crush on Jungkook, no need to come up with silly excuses.”
“I did not!” Jimin says, too loud. Hoseok raises an eyebrow at him and he lowers his voice. “I didn’t, I was just intimidated by his talent.”
“Talent,” Hoseok gives him an exaggerated wink. “You sure you don’t mean his face?”
Jimin smacks his ankle. “Shut up, you know that even back then him and Taehyung had that weirdly intense flirtation going on. I was never interested in him like that, don’t be ridiculous.”
Hoseok shrugs. “Just cuz your best friend had the hots for him doesn’t mean you couldn’t have too.”
“I didn’t-”
“It's nothing to be ashamed of. You know, I remember having all the same crushes as Yoongi hyung before he got together with Seokjin hyung,” Hoseok says wisely, turning his attention back to the TV. “We had the same exact taste in people. We’d spend hours just scrolling through our tinder matches and comparing how many of the same people we had been messaging and who was allowed to go on the first date with who.”
Jimin squints his eyes. “I can’t believe you still insist you never had a threesome with Yoongi hyung. There’s just no way.”
Hoseok just wiggles his toes again, but he’s either too focused on the movie to answer, or he’s purposely ignoring Jimin’s comment.
Still, Jimin feels petulant. “And I didn’t have a crush on Jungkook,” he mumbles. Have a crush on you though, Jimin doesn’t say out loud. You oblivious, hot idiot.
Luckily, Hoseok can’t seem to hear his thoughts. I want your tongue down my throat, he thinks again.
Hoseok makes no move to kiss him, and Jimin doesn’t feel lucky anymore.
“Oh!” Hoseok gasps in excitement, pointing at a buff character on the screen. “That character looks just like Namjoon! I have to take a picture, he’d love that. Can you pause it for a sec?”
Hoseok slides down to his knees in front of the couch, and crawls forward a few feet so he can get his phone closer to the TV. Jimin wants to tell him he could just zoom in with his camera, but he feels his petulance turn to bitterness as he jabs the pause button.
He knows Namjoon is just one of Hoseok’s friends. He’s hung out with them together plenty of times to know there really isn’t any romantic tension between them. But that doesn’t stop the jealousy that twists in his gut every time Hoseok finds a way to bring up Namjoon’s recent gym obsession.
Every muscular advertisement, every hot guy on the street, every especially large food object, Hoseok finds a way to tie it back to Namjoon and his damn fucking muscles.
And Jimin knows Hoseok does this with all of his friends. Knows when he sees a cute animal he sends a picture to Jungkook. Knows when he sees a pretty painting he sends a picture to Taehyung. Knows when he sees a cute outfit he sends a picture to Jimin with a caption like ooooh you’d look sexy in this one. He knows Hoseok is constantly thinking of his friends, and this Namjoon thing shouldn’t make him feel weird.
But he’s pining, and he doesn’t want to be reasonable. He wants all of Hoseok’s attention on him, wants Hoseok to never think of anyone else’s muscles ever again.
He flexes his thighs, but Hoseok’s toes are woefully far away now, no way for him to feel the way his muscles harden. He stares at them sadly where they’re tucked under Hoseok’s butt, cutely pressed into the carpet as he snaps another picture and texts it to Namjoon.
“I’ve been working out recently,” Jimin blurts, louder than he means to.
Hoseok looks at him over his shoulder and cocks his head with an inquisitive noise. “Have you?”
Jimin nods, and feels himself warm up as he watches Hoseok drop his phone back on the coffee table and waddle on his knees back over to the couch. Now that the movie is paused and the text is sent, Jimin’s got all his attention.
He has to stop a pleased smile from lighting up his face.
“Yeah, my new office building has a gym, I’ve been using it during my lunch break.” Jimin rolls up one of his sleeves and turns his arm to show off his tricep. “Been working the machines a bit.”
Hoseok oohs loudly in that way he always does when he’s impressed, and Jimin feels himself glow even more. “Aigoo Jimin-ah,” he intones in satoori, leaning up from his place on the floor to squeeze at Jimin’s arm. “Who’s this buff hottie I’m living with? Look at these arms, I can barely get my hands around them.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, but he’s pleased by the teasing. “Wait til you see my thighs, hyung. There’s definition. No more pillow thighs for me.”
Hoseok pouts a little and drops his hands down to the tops of Jimin’s legs. “But I love your pillow thighs. They’re my favorite place to rest my weary head.” He gives them a squeeze and Jimin lets out a laugh that’s a little breathless.
“I’m sure they’ll still be plenty comfy. Just firmer, you know? You can still rest your head on them, maybe they’ll even provide better support for your neck.”
Hoseok hums, and squeezes a couple more times thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right. They still feel nice and squidgy,” he kneads at them like a cat, and Jimin can only watch, transfixed. “You sure it’s not just your arms getting ripped? These sure feel like my Jiminie’s thighs.”
Jimin makes a displeased sound, but it’s hard to act put out when Hoseok’s hands are on him. “I’m serious, I was looking at them after my shower yesterday. My quads are practically bulging, you can see the cut of muscle clear as day. I’m a new man, hyung.”
“Yeah?” Hoseok smirks again. “You’ve been checking yourself out after your showers, taking inventory of this hot little bod?”
Jimin rolls his eyes but bites his lip around a smile. “Maybe I have. There’s a lot to look at, you know.”
Hoseok matches his knowing smile. “Well? You gonna show hyung? Come on, share the goods, Jimin.”
He tickles a finger under the hem of Jimin’s shorts, right above his knee, and Jimin feels his face flush a bit.
And see, this is normal. Hoseok is a flirt, and Jimin is a flirt, and two flirts living together means that this kind of thing happens. A lot. Countless playful touches and sexy winks and comments that are always toeing that line between what’s ok to say to a platonic friend. And Jimin loves it. It’s fun, being so unfiltered with someone. Fun, feeling that little thrill when someone gives you attention for something you want to be noticed.
But it’s also making Jimin feel like he’s got the longest case of blue balls known to man.
Because whereas he used to put all the build up from their platonic flirtation into random hookups, now he’s pining too hard to even do that. He hasn’t gone to a club to pick someone up in months, not interested in being with anyone else, even started feeling icky when he’d bring people home who weren’t Hoseok. And every time they do this now, these touches and these words and these looks, it feels like the most bruising kind of tease. Something he wants so bad but knows Hoseok isn’t even considering.
But today he feels like pushing. So he spreads his legs a little further.
“You know you don’t have to ask, hyung. Look as much as you want.”
“Yeah?” Hoseok grins up at him, and wiggles his fingers further under the hem, until he’s nearly up to his wrist. Jimin feels his chest clench at the sight.
But the horny part of his brain distracts him from noticing the glint in Hoseok’s eye. So before he can register what’s happening, Hoseok is pulling his hands off his thighs and burying them into the sides of his stomach to tickle him.
The sudden shift makes Jimin jerk so hard he nearly swallows his tongue.
“Hyung!” Jimin shouts in alarm, but he gets cut off by his own laughter, shrieking as he tries to get away. “Hyung, no tickles!”
“But my Jimin loves tickles, doesn’t he?” Hoseok laughs, leaning up so that he can push Jimin flat on his back, crawling over him until he’s straddled over his lap, tickling him all the while.
“No, your Jimin hates tickles,” Jimin shouts, squirming and giggling and loving too much.
“So I can look but I can’t touch? That doesn’t seem fair,” Hoseok complains cutely, and something tugs deep in Jimin’s gut.
He finally manages to grab onto Hoseok’s wrists, lifting them until they’re just out of reach of his body. “You can touch if you behave,” Jimin huffs, out of breath. “Asshole.”
Hoseok ignores the insult and sits back on Jimin’s thighs, still laughing and just as out of breath as Jimin is. “Oh, so I have to behave, huh? Am I a bad boy, Jimin? You gonna teach me a lesson?”
Jimin tries to get his breathing to go back to normal, but Hoseok’s wrists are still clutched in his hands and he feels himself get to that unspoken edge they always seem to find themselves at, that line they toe so often. And as he stares up at Hoseok, he decides he doesn’t want to stop pushing.
“I could. Or you could teach me one. I’m not picky.” He swipes a thumb over one of Hoseok’s wrist, trying to get him to lose that joking glint in his eyes. To get him to see Jimin the way Jimin wants him to.
But Hoseok just laughs, playfully tugging his wrists from Jimin’s hands. “Not picky, eh? I should have known you’d be a switch.” He giggles and pats Jimin’s stomach twice before reaching for the remote again. “Come on, we’ve still got 20 minutes left of this movie. I wanna finish before the bingsoo place down the street closes. Hoseokie is in the mood for something sweet.” He rubs his belly after he says it, dimples popping on his face cutely.
It's cute. Really cute. Jimin feels something in him snap.
He pulls the remote from Hoseok’s hand before he can hit play.
“Hyung.”
Hoseok drops his gaze back down, dimples still on his face as he looks at Jimin. “Hmm?”
He's still on Jimin's lap. He's on his lap with those dimples and that face and all his teasing words. His hyung, with all his attention on his Jimin.
Keep pushing, Jimin thinks.
“What if…” Jimin wets his bottom lip and tries to sound casual. “What if it wasn’t a joke?”
Hoseok tilts his head to the side and there’s that line between his eyebrows, the one that always appears when he doesn’t quite understand something. Jimin takes another deep breath.
“Would you ever want to like-” Jimin stares at the line, refusing to let his eyes drift down enough to make actual eye contact. “You know. Like, not joke about it?”
Hoseok’s brows are still creased but there’s a fond look in his eyes now. “Jimin, did you sneak a little soju when I wasn’t looking? You’re not making any sense, sweetheart.”
Jimin frowns. “No, I’m sober-”
“Sureee you are,” Hoseok winks at him. “You should have let me know, you know I love a tipsy movie night.”
Jimin sighs, frustrated, knowing he’s not brave enough to actually say it the way he needs to to get Hoseok to understand. “Fine. Never mind, you’re right. The bingsoo place closes at 8, we’ve gotta hurry and finish.”
He pushes lightly to get Hoseok to slide off his lap, and clicks play on the remote. After a few seconds though, it gets paused again when Hoseok reaches over to press at the control where it sits in his hand.
“Hey, I’m just kidding. Come on, tell me what you wanted to say.” Hoseok's smile is apologetic, but it just makes Jimin’s stomach stir more unpleasantly. They’re retreating from that line, that stupid made up line. And Jimin lets them.
He shakes his head, shuffling to sit straighter on the couch, putting a few more inches between them. “It’s nothing-”
Hoseok’s smile drops off his face. “Hey, hey. I didn’t know you were being serious, I wouldn’t have joked. What’s up?”
Jimin makes an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. “You never think I’m being serious,” he mumbles.
Hoseok frowns. “What do you mean-”
Jimin cuts him off, exasperation filling him. Feels himself pushing again, but with frustration instead of flirtation. “I mean I’m being serious, ok? It’s not a joke to me, it's never a joke-”
“I don’t understand-” Hoseok touches his hand, but Jimin pulls it away.
“I mean, I’m not saying it’s serious serious, like I’m still goofing around usually,” Jimin corrects, getting shiftier and shiftier. “But like, it’s not a joke. I’m being genuine. It’s real, I’m just being playful about it, and you’re not-”
“Hey,” Hoseok interrupts, placing a firm hand on his wrist. “You’ve gotta catch me up with whatever conversation you’re having. Because I’m lost, sweetheart.”
Jimin covers his face with his hands. “And don’t call me sweetheart, my god. You're making it so much worse.”
Hoseok tugs his hands down with the hand that’s still attached to his wrist. “I always call you sweetheart, what do you mean?”
“That’s the problem,” Jimin groans, talking down to Hoseok’s collarbone, too embarrassed to look up. “You say stuff and it just makes it harder for me because it’s all so cute and sweet and it makes me want so much and-”
“Jimin,” Hoseok emphasizes, trying to shake him out of it.
The push works.
“I like you, ok?” Jimin finally gets out. “I don’t like that this is a joke to you because I like you.”
It's silent for a long moment.
Jimin feels the line dissolve between them. It’s terrifying, a little bit. Relieving mostly, even with the terror.
“You mean… like..?” Hoseok begins to clarify.
“Yeah,” Jimin slumps. “Yeah, like that.”
"Oh."
Jimin leans his head back on the couch. Lets out a long sigh. "Yeah."
He’s staring up at the ceiling, and so for the second time of the night, he misses the glint in Hoseok’s eye.
“So all the affection between us, it makes you feel…” Hoseok questions slowly.
Jimin blinks up at the ceiling, feeling like he’s at a therapy appointment. “Weird.”
Hoseok hums thoughtfully. “Weird?”
“Well, no, not weird. Just like… it makes me want things. And I get wistful, because I’m not getting the things I want. And I don’t love that feeling as much as I like the wanting.”
“Ah, I see.” Hoseok nods, and Jimin can see the movement in his peripheral vision. “You yearn, huh?”
Jimin sighs. “I yearn.”
“So I guess when I call you sweetheart, you wished I meant it in a different way?” Hoseok wonders.
Jimin nods. “Yeah. In a not friend way at all.”
Hoseok hums. “And when I tell you you look sexy, you wished I meant that in a not friend way too?”
Jimin sighs again. “Yeah.”
Hoseok lifts a hand to smooth down Jimin’s tricep. “And when I touch you like this, you wish I wouldn’t stop? Wish I’d touch you more and more?”
Jimin feels his breath catch in his throat, but tries to keep his thoughts at bay. “Y-yeah. But I know you’re just like- joking and stuff.”
Hoseok keeps rubbing slowly up and down his arm. “That must be stressful for you. Feeling so teased all the time.”
Jimin practically whimpers, but he swallows it down. There’s nothing he loves more than when Hoseok is touching him and checking in on his well-being. “It’s terrible,” Jimin agrees.
Jimin feels the cushion shift and he looks sideways to see Hoseok’s watching him, elbow over the back of the couch and cheek cupped in his hand. Hoseok makes an exaggerated thinking face. “I see. Well then, I think there’s really only one thing to do.”
Jimin frowns, pushing his cheek into the couch so he can look at him more clearly. “You’re never gonna touch me ever again are you?”
Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Jimin, I’m literally touching you right now.”
Jimin looks down and sees that Hoseok’s hand has migrated down to the top of his thigh again, rubbing slow circles. “Are you telling me to savor it? Because I’ll never feel your touch ever again?” He pouts pathetically at the hand. “Hyung.”
He’s greeted with silence, and when he looks up, Hoseok’s face has gone from playful to blank.
“Hyung?”
Hoseok sighs. “We’ve lived together for too long, you’ve gotten just as oblivious as me. It's concerning.” He shakes his head and slips his hand to the inside of Jimin’s thigh.
Jimin feels his stomach swoop at the touch. “Oblivious-?”
“Sweetheart,” Hoseok interrupts, and Jimin feels his chest collapse in relief at his tone. “We’re on the same page.”
Jimin stares at him. Blinks once, then twice. “You mean…”
Hoseok smiles, his teasing look fading to fondness. “Yeah. For a while now.”
“Oh.”
Jimin feels a little bit like his head is filling with water. It swishes around and dulls his senses, makes him feel full. The weight of it causes his head to tilt forward until he’s looking back down at the hand between his legs.
“Cool. Your hand’s near my dick.”
Hoseok makes a noise, sounding impatient now. “Jimin, I’ve seen you pick up dozens of people. Where’s your game right now?”
“Hyung!” Jimin whines, smacking at his shoulder. He immediately grabs his arm though so that Hoseok doesn’t move his hand away. “I have game before hands are near my dick. How am I supposed to think when you’re like this?"
"When I'm like this?" Hoseok smirks, tilting his head innocently.
"You know, when you're all- all grabby and hot and giving me all the attention I want. I can't have game when you're like that.”
Hoseok’s giggles are back. “Ok, sweetheart. How about we skip the rest of the movie and you let hyung take you to get some bingsoo. Clear that cute little head of yours.”
Jimin blinks at him, excitement for his situation quickly replacing itself with despair. “You want to leave? For bingsoo? Right now?”
Hoseok hums and pats his leg cheerfully. “Yup!” He gets up and goes to gather his wallet and keys off the table in their front hall. When he turns back, he finds Jimin still staring pathetically down at his now handless lap.
Hoseok laughs again, and comes back over to the couch, leaning down to smack a kiss to Jimin’s cheek. “Come on. Bingsoo counts as a date and I’ll make sure you get lucky after.”
Jimin nearly headbutts Hoseok in his urgency to stand up. “I love bingsoo. Come on, hyung, hurry up.”
Hoseok’s laughter fills the room and he steadies Jimin on his feet. When he dips forward again, he presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth. "That's the spirit. And you know-" he leans in again and kisses half of Jimin's mouth, not quite a full kiss, but almost. "Depending on how good you make this date, I won't even make you finish watching the movie when we get back. I'll give you all the attention you want."
Hoseok is still laughing when Jimin grabs his arm to haul them out the front door. It's loud, unbridled, perfect. All for him. Jimin hopes all of Seoul can hear it.