Chapter Text
Pretty much everyone knew that Ryan Evans was gay. Because really, it wasn’t like he tried to hide it or anything. Heck—he was so far out of the closet that he could probably be seen from space. So a person might suppose that, with the understanding that Ryan was gay, would come the simultaneous comprehension that Ryan liked to think about having sex with guys. But it seemed like a lot of people just didn’t make that cognitive leap.
That was Chad’s general observation, anyway. And he supposed that maybe it was simply a comfort level thing: people – meaning other guys – could deal with the knowledge of Ryan’s gayness, so long as they never permitted the information to enter into their brains that Ryan might – at some point – picture them naked.
If they were lucky, anyway.
Chad, on the other hand—he was cool with that. Very cool with that. More than cool with that. No, he wasn’t out. No, he wasn’t even quite discreetly out to a select few, or anything. He had considered doing the whole Coming Out thing, but after considerable private reflection – hey, Chad really liked to be able to take time and think things through – he had decided that he’d like to get comfortable with the whole epiphany for himself, before he started shoving it in other people’s faces and demanding that they get comfortable with it. And that plan had run pretty smoothly so far. Each day, he felt a little more okay with how he really saw cute girls with curvy bodies as attractive in an aesthetic ‘art appreciation’ sense, as opposed to down and dirty monkey-spank fodder. And as time went by, he found himself less angry and more accepting when it came to homosexual male clichés, because he was really settling into the realization that he could be both gay and yet no one’s stereotype.
And, the longer he went with the whole gradual adjustment plan, the more comfortable he felt thinking about Ryan’s red lips and Ryan’s smooth throat and Ryan’s cute ass. Oh yeah—serious spank material right there.
It could’ve been perfect. It could’ve been a gay porn dream, the ultimate mix of hot make-out sessions and cutesy holding hands and repeat episodes of annoyance that his boyfriend spent hours getting ready for dates, except Chad would really only just be pretending to be irritated because he actually secretly loved that it was his boyfriend spending hours getting ready for him.
It could have been perfect, yes. But it wasn’t. Because for all that he was currently the most popular leading man in Chad’s wet dreams, Ryan Evans was obviously a complete and total asinine fucking idiot.
The warning signs had been there from the start. The start of Troy’s whole junior year identity crisis, anyway. Troy lost his mind, the school freaked out, Chad and Taylor plotted to take over the world, and somehow everyone turned out happy... except for Chad, who essentially lost both his best friend and his favorite fantasy subject.
Because Ryan was so very clearly fantasizing about Troy.
And, dude? Idiot. Pre-Gabriella, Troy was a complete dog when it came to chicks, always jumping from one girl to another, building up a reputation which had rapidly become legend across the student bodies of three different local high schools. Maybe he couldn’t help it, Chad figured. At any rate, it was inevitable – that smile, that body, that easy charm, not to mention the star athleticism which was so critically important at this status-conscious point in their lives. Troy couldn’t not get pussy. It’s just how he was built. And yeah, it had been a stunning sea change when he’d fallen so completely for Gabriella. Blah blah blah, total transformation, so romantic, and Troy’s popularity ranking had actually managed to climb a few points when he suddenly became the most devoted boyfriend in the history of East High. But still – pussy. As in, Gabriella. As in, Not Ryan.
So what the hell was Ryan’s deal, seriously? Was he a masochist or something? Was he just a complete dumbass? He could hardly be unaware of Troy’s bone-deep heterosexuality; hell, the pheromones blitzing between the golden couple could pretty much knock out an unsuspecting bystander. And Ryan wasn’t just any bystander, no. He had a front row seat for the whole thing. And yet, he seemed to remain oblivious. Completely ignorant of the obvious fact that – despite her reputation as a prude of the Marcia Brady school – Troy’s girlfriend seriously put out.
Chad figured it could only be an act of mercy to enlighten Ryan.
“Gabriella sucks his dick, you know,” Chad announced one day, and his sudden appearance at Ryan’s side made Ryan jump in surprise, his pale cheeks flushing guiltily at being discovered mooning over Troy from a safe distance.
“...Sorry?” Ryan’s glance darted around almost frantically, as if he was trying to figure out just what he’d done to provoke that conversational ambush.
“She totally goes down on him. Like, regularly. He’s not hard up or anything.” Chad folded his arms across his chest and glared at Ryan, and Ryan responded by sidling a few steps away, like he was thinking maybe he could get the drop on Chad and manage a quick escape.
“Oh—okay,” Ryan said, his tone placating. “Um. I believe you.” He looked at Chad, a mix of confusion and worry shining in his blue eyes. “I, um. I need to go... somewhere,” he added, and took a couple more steps backward before he turned to stride swiftly away.
“I’m just saying,” Chad insisted, catching up and matching Ryan’s pace easily. “This thing of yours? It’s totally pointless. I mean, like, a real waste of time. You know?”
“My – what – my thing?” Ryan stammered, paranoia plain on his face.
“Yes, Evans. Your thing. For Troy. With all the drooling and the moony eyes and the jacking off.” Yeah, Chad was just guessing about that last part. Although it seemed like a pretty solid guess. Not that Chad spent major quality time thinking about Ryan jerking himself off.
Well, not while thinking about Troy anyway.
“I don’t – you –“ Abruptly Ryan halted, and turned to face Chad. “What do you want from me, Danforth?” he asked, suddenly fey and fierce, spreading out his arms like he was offering himself up as a challenge. “You want to beat me up because you think I’m crushing on your best friend? You actually feel threatened by that?”
“No,” Chad shot back, and then found himself with no further comeback.
Ryan stared at him for a long silent moment, then blinked. “No?” he asked, like he wanted to make sure he understood.
“No, I’m not threatened by that,” Chad elucidated, and shrugged. “I just think it’s really... I don’t know, pathetic. The way you are obviously so totally into him, and he’s buried so deep in Gabriella’s muff he’d never even notice you were looking.”
Ryan’s jaw dropped, and it took him a few seconds to break through his shock and snatch at the shreds of his composure. “Pathetic? You’re actually calling me pathetic, Danforth?” His gaze heated with anger. “You know what’s so pitiful? You. You and your whole stupid Neanderthal über-jock deal. You are so freakin’ self-absorbed that you apparently haven’t even noticed that your so-called girlfriend is getting her kicks with someone else these days.”
The denial was automatic. “Taylor’s not my – wait, what?” Chad’s brow furrowed and he stared at Ryan, totally and completely derailed, and struggling to somehow get back on track. “What do you mean she’s... wait, who? You think she’s—“ his voice trailed off, and Ryan smirked.
“I don’t think it, Danforth,” he retorted, and his blue eyes were icy cold now. “I know. But you? You’re just too dense, aren’t you? One too many dodgeballs to the head.”
Oh, so Ryan wanted to talk balls? No fucking problem. Chad could do that. But then Ryan took advantage of the way he was still standing there mid-thought, suspended in surprise. Ryan turned on his heel and strode off.
“Wait. Evans!” Chad shouted, seething and uncertain and now frozen in place. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”
This time Ryan didn’t even turn around, but Chad could see that damn smirk again just in the way he swaggered. “You figure it out!”