Chapter Text
Sano Manjirou remembers blue.
It was vivid, azure blue, as blue as the ocean and as blue as the sky. It was as if the heavens and the seas were painted after that blue.
It’s the blue that is in Hanagaki Takemichi’s eyes.
Mikey had seen it countless times before, sometimes even more than he could count, but sometimes he can’t even remember it. Maybe it was because he refused to remember something that isn’t his.
He had seen it in the park that day, weak but determined to defeat something bigger than him. It was like a bunny cornered with wolves and Takemichi hadn’t even realized that he was in its den. But he fought. He was weak, small, and timid, but Hanagaki Takemichi fought with his azure eyes glinting and Mikey finds himself stepping in, mesmerized.
He had seen it in that warehouse. Takemichi was screaming for him to save Pah-chin, questioning him and this time, determined to save Pah-chin—someone he barely knew. Mikey doesn’t do anything until Pah-chin’s body decides to break down, then he sees the relief in Takemichi’s eyes.
He had seen it during that festival. Screaming for Draken, kneeling, and looking for Mikey in the crowd, lost and frightened. And Mikey—instead of seeing red—saw blue. In Takemichi’s eyes as Mikey’s own dark ones meet his.
Mikey had beat everyone that had obstructed his path. Takemichi and Draken, they were both right there with Takemichi desperately calling Draken, trying to wake him up (trying to bring him back).
In his haste, he fails to notice a hand grabbing on his scruff pulling him back—pulling him away from Draken. He seethes, glaring at Hanma and yet knowing that he won’t make it in time.
Those blue eyes were clouded and Mikey calls to him. “Takemicchi!”
“He’s still alive!” Those blue meets him again and Mikey feels a little more relief in him as despite the tears, there was once more that tint of determination in those blue. “Mikey-kun!!”
“Take care of Kenchin for me!” He calls. He doesn’t need to hope for Takemichi to take care of Draken. He knows. Draken is in good hands. Takemichi won’t leave him, Takemichi would rather die than leave him—that was how he was. And Mikey knew that just by looking at those big blue eyes staring at him before Takemichi nods.
The two were covered by other members fighting but Mikey knew that Takemichi was pulling Draken away, dragging him to safety—dragging him to a hospital, to heal, to wake up.
And barely an hour after that, Mikey finds himself in the hospital, staring at the now operating sign and the broken gaze Takemichi was giving him. He breathes in and out, calming himself. He has to be strong, he has to keep his mask up.
Don’t worry them don’t worry them don’t worry them.
Mikey sees his sister crying, his members panicking, distressed and dismayed. He sits down on one of the plastic chairs, keeping up a brave front, reminding himself again and again that Draken would be fine .
Takemichi was staring right at him and Mikey didn't dare to show his fears.
When it was over and Draken was fine, Mikey immediately left, knowing that he was going to break down soon and the others couldn’t see that—Takemichi couldn’t see that.
(Takemichi was afraid. He was the one who rode with Draken in the ambulance, he was the one who carried him there, he was the one who was so lost, so afraid. Mikey didn’t need to let him see this weak part of himself, he didn’t need to worry Takemichi even more.)
So in the dark, he breaks down, relieved.
But when Mikey glances to the side, he sees a familiar tuff of blond hair and those big blue eyes right around the corner, peeking behind a wall before completely disappearing.
And barely a few weeks later, those azure blue blink open as Mikey sits beside the disoriented Takemichi. When he tells him about Baji, his dear friend, his childhood friend, Takemichi looks at him with wide eyes in wonder and fascination—happy to listen, happy to know more about Mikey.
His heart had skipped a beat.
And he knew that if Takemichi asked, he would tell him anything.
When the day of the fight came, those pairs of blue were nervous—Mikey could see it as clear as day. But Mikey was there, and Touman would never lose when he was there, Takemichi would never lose if he was there. They were to fight for Baji, to bring him back, and Takemichi was elated to do so despite not even knowing Baji personally.
From the corner of his eye, he had seen it all happen. How Takemichi charged through, carelessly punching anyone in his way and screaming. He was easily the weakest of them all, not the smartest either, but here he was, running straight to the enemies when his own comrades were already giving up.
Takemichi was stumbling, exhausted, but everyone was a little more energetic—a little more hopeful, and a little more willing to fight. And it was all because of the blond boy with big blue eyes and an even bigger heart with no sense of self-preservation.
Mikey was out of it, dizzy from the amount of hits he had taken to his head. Kisaki had come to defend him but Takemichi’s words were in his head, repeating like a broken record.
Kisaki is the enemy. Kisaki will ruin Touman. Kisaki this and Kisaki that.
Takemichi had never been a liar. Those eyes are too true to lie, too glassy and too honest. If he had attempted to lie, Mikey would have seen it coming miles away.
If Takemichi says that Kisaki is the enemy…
Then it is what it is.
But when he finally came to, Baji was down and it was Kazutora who stabbed him. Again and again.
It was Shinichiro. Kazutora took Shinichiro away from him first. His dear brother, his dear Shinichiro. The person he sees when he looks at Takemichi, the person he dreams of meeting again.
And now it was Baji. The same Baji who always stopped him from killing Kazutora. The same Baji who grew up with him and laughed at his jokes and pestered him. The same Baji who was now lying unconscious on top of the pile of junk.
Kazutora was taking away everything from him.
( Shinichiro. Baji. Who was next? Draken? Emma? Takemichi? )
And then he was hearing Baji, walking to him, calling him. Red dripped from his wound and for the first time since he met Takemichi, Mikey couldn’t see blue. He sees red.
Red when he looked down at Kazutora.
Red when he looked at Baji.
Red when Baji plunged a knife at his own stomach.
Baji’s voice was distant. He almost couldn’t hear it.
“Takemichi, you somehow remind me of Shinichiro.”
Mikey stops.
“Mikey and Touman-”
Don’t leave so much pressure on his shoulders .
“I’m leaving them-”
You’re not going anywhere, right? Baji, right?
“In your hands.”
Don’t go.
Chifuyu is screaming, painful and unctrolled. Someone had died in his arms. Baji died in his arms.
A flare of red was what Mikey saw as he raised his fist—knuckles bloody—and beat Kazutora some more. He didn’t know what else he was supposed to do.
And then Takemichi was in front of him.
Takemichi was staring at him again, arms wide open, blue once more narrowed in determination like how it always was. This time, he notices that there was something in those eyes other than determination. He never really did understand what it was. But every time Mikey saw it, it always caused his feelings to erupt. But this time, he only felt even more pissed.
The red was laying over the blue.
He was punching Takemichi now. Kicking him. Pushing him away. Trying to ignore Takemichi’s words. Trying not to see Takemichi’s blue.
Takemichi was yelling something while crying—he was always crying, but that was what made him Takemichi. Mikey’s gaze was on the charm on the floor, a charm he had seen thousands of times before.
And suddenly, he was brought back to the summer years ago.
Takemichi had the charm.
Takemichi had brought him back. To a time when they were only kids, when everything had seemed better. To a time when Kazutora and Baji and Pah-chin were still right beside them.
And then, he was suddenly back to the cruel present. With Pah-chin incarcerated, Kazutora on the other side of this stupid war they didn’t even have to fight, and Baji cold and dead on the ground.
The red fades and the blue starts from the corner of his eyes. Cool and wet, like the tears that were now slipping down his face as he reminisced of a time long passed.
He doesn’t forget about the people he lost. About everything Kazutora had cost him.
But no matter what, no matter when, Kazutora would always be a part of Touman.
He sees Takemichi in Touman’s uniform in the next meeting. But he couldn’t help but think… Black hair suits him more.
Black hair curling down in curls and his black Touman uniform, it would really make his bright blue eyes stand out. Mikey looks away, trying not to think about it—trying not to look further into the future.
(Suddenly, he can’t wait for Takemichi’s hair to grow again until his roots start showing and he has no choice but to dye it back to black.)
And with his head raised high, crying again, Takemichi accepts the position. Baji would have wanted this , Mikey thinks, smiling softly at the blond that was starting to grow even closer to him. Takemichi had grown on him and it was dangerous, it was reckless, and Mikey doesn’t ever want it to change.
Takemichi is in Touman, so Takemichi is his.
But it did.
Mikey enters the cathedral.
His Touman members are all beaten up and Mikey can’t help but glance at Takemichi for one short moment. His blue eyes were still open, they still had life in them, Takemichi is still alive- he breathes a silent sigh of relief. ( But those injuries, that bruised face… You were almost too late. )
Pact? He doesn’t care about that stupid pact. What’s important is that his members are safe and they get the revenge, the redemption, they need. And his brother and Baji had agreed, they had led him here after all. To Mitsuya, to Hakkai, to Chifuyu. To Takemichi.
The bell was chiming, it was deafening, everyone’s shouts even more so.
Mikey blinks, twitching before fully swaying up.
Shiba Taiju…
He was going to take away even more people from Mikey.
“That hit I took from you was me punishing myself.”
For being too late, for not having come earlier, for letting his dear members get beaten up this bad, for looking the other way, for not being strong enough.
There’s blue in the corner of his eyes, then he raised his leg in a wide arc before his foot had hit the side of Taiju’s head.
He doesn’t even look at the fallen boss of the Black Dragons anymore. Taiju was nothing more than dirt now, one of the many that sullied the once great Black Dragons his brother had created.
He pulls out the charm hanging from his neck, showing it to Takemichi with a smile. Takemichi who had brought the charm to him. His eyes soften seeing Takemichi flinch in surprise.
“You’re good in a fight, but you’ve got no heart,” he says, finally acknowledging Taiju who regained consciousness and stood up with the help of Inupi. “We’re going to create a new age. So sit back and watch.”
Mikey will create it and he won’t be alone. He has Touman with him. He has Takemichi with him, a person who was like someone his brother would send him. A reminder of Shinichiro, the second coming perhaps? The one that would always keep Mikey grounded. With his neverending determination, his baffling endurance, his cute smiles, and his big blue eyes that brings the heavens and the seas to shame.
Mikey looks back to see Takemichi had passed out, adrenaline fading and shoulders slacking in relief. Mitsuya had him on his back and Mikey’s heart softened even more.
He’ll be fine. Takemichi will be fine. Mikey will be too.
So after Takemichi had made things up with Hina, Mikey took him away. He had him sit on the back of his buba, remembering Takemichi’s cheek on his back earlier that evening when he was still out of it and Mikey was bringing him to Hina. Mikey knew that he wouldn’t do that if Emma hadn’t asked; he wouldn’t have given Takemichi back.
Takemichi is a part of Touman and Touman is Mikey’s. Takemichi is Mikey’s but not completely, never completely. Because before he was a part of Touman, he already had Hina. Hina was there first.
Mikey was second.
The cold Winter wind snaps him back and Mikey wants to lean back onto Takemichi. “Sometimes, I don’t know what’s going on. My bro should be around, but he isn’t.” Mikey tells him because Mikey can always tell him anything. He imagines those bright pair of blue eyes staring at him. “And I don’t understand what that means.
“When that happens, my mind goes blank. I don’t know right from left, or up from down.” He frowns, remembering those moments when he felt so lost , so alone in that big world. “I don’t know what’s right or what’s wrong.”
He’s losing his mind, faster than the snowflakes fall. And it won’t be long until he completely loses everything. It won’t be long until he truly is alone in this stupid world that insists on taking away everything from him.
But when they stop and start walking instead, Mikey looks behind him and sees those blues again and it suddenly felt as if he wasn’t alone anymore. It was the two of them against the world.
Mikey felt as if he’d never lose, as if he'd always be at the top—untouchable, and not even he himself could destroy himself. He won’t fall, he won’t lose his mind. He’ll be just fine. As long as Takemichi is right beside him, to stabilize him and to hold his hand, Mikey knows that he’ll be just fine.
Takemichi is in Touman, so Takemichi is his.
But he wasn't.
.
In that future, Mikey lost Takemichi.
Takemichi had left them. The Takemichi who promised to stay had left. Draken and Mitsuya had the guts to stop him from taking Takemichi back—back to Touman and back to Mikey, where he had belonged.
Takemichi had left and ran away.
And Mikey lost everything.
That was when he truly fell. Because Takemichi was the only one keeping him together, making sure that he didn’t break apart. It was his blue eyes, it was his smile, it was his scent whenever Mikey got brave enough to pull him in an embrace. It was Takemichi and his presence himself.
And that Takemichi left; he left Mikey behind. Mikey lost it then.
(He wanted Takemichi to kill him, even though it was impossible. Takemichi could never kill him. It wasn’t how Takemichi was. Tachibana Naoto was the one who shot him, but Mikey saw Takemichi last. He had seen Takemichi again, for the last time this time.
And suddenly, he was happy.
It was finally over.
Takemichi’s eyes are cool blue but his hands are warm.)
.
Before they knew it, another problem had befallen them, another war they were dragged into.
This time, it was against his own brother: Izana. Mikey contemplated leaving Takemichi in the dark, leaving him behind, and keeping him safe. He doesn’t think he can stand seeing Takemichi beaten anymore. Takemichi had barely even known them for a year but the amount of times he had sacrificed himself just to save them were already countable on one hand.
Takemichi was constantly throwing himself into danger, constantly risking his life. If Mikey loses him too…
But he doesn’t stop him. Takemichi was already right behind him, ready to fight for him, even before he knew it. Takemichi had always been there, this time was no different. And Mikey wouldn’t have it in him to stop him when Takemichi had stared straight ahead with once again determined blue eyes.
That fire lighting in those blues had always swayed him, always made him shut up and let Takemichi handle it. Because whenever Takemichi is with him, Mikey knows that he will never lose.
And then Emma dies.
(There’s fear in Takemichi’s eyes, aghast. He was trembling, tearing up and begging for Emma to keep her eyes open. There was blood on him—Emma’s—along with regret, clear on his face.)
Mikey falls.
He ignores Takemichi, he ignores Draken, he ignores everything. Nothing goes red but the blue fades from his sight and he is left sinking in darkness. Deep inside him, he had hoped Takemichi would stay beside him—hold his hand and comfort him. But Takemichi left and Mikey is left falling.
And then Tachibana Hinata is right in front of him and Draken. Hina, the girl lucky enough to have Takemichi by her side. The girl that Mikey finds himself sometimes wants to replace; he wants to be by Takemichi’s side as well. (It’s so unfair)
“Takemichi-kun, I think he tried to save Emma-chan.”
Mikey feels a surge of anger burning in him once more before it vanishes as fast as it appeared. He didn’t even have it in him to be mad. This was pathetic. He was so pathetic. Everything was black.
Draken was yelling, enraged. Mikey keeps his head down.
“It’s not just Emma-chan, Takemicchi is trying to save a lot of people at the same time.”
Shut up, shut up, shut up
“I will die.”
Shut up, shut up, shut-
“In 12 years, I will die.”
Mikey still doesn’t look up. Hina had gone insane as well, it seems.
“To stop that from happening, Takemicchi came from the future,” she continues. “This whole talk might sound like a bunch of lies… But it’s true… Because you can see his desperation.”
Blue once more narrowed in determination like how it always was. This time, he notices that there was something in those eyes other than determination. He never really did understand what it was.
It was desperation. Takemichi’s blue eyes always held so much determination, and it also held desperation. He was desperate, desperately trying to do everything by himself, desperately trying to keep everyone together.
(But then who makes sure that he’s still alright? Who makes sure that he hasn't broken into pieces yet?)
“He knows the future for all of us. He wants to save all of us.”
Mikey finally looks up.
Everything is blue again.
Hanagaki Takemichi, no matter the situation, had always looked forward with bright blue eyes filled with tears but also filled with determination. He was beaten, bruised, bloodied, and would probably break a bone or need stitches. But he never gave up. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to, it was because he had no other choice.
Everything was riding on his performance, on his strength and his resilience, to bounce back up even after being completely taken apart.
And Mikey realized: that even when Takemichi smiled, even when there was nothing wrong and everything was peaceful, there was that wariness in his eyes—looking around as if something was going to jump out and hurt them.
Takemichi must be so tired, he grasps. All this time. He had been fighting all alone, he had been getting beaten up and scared away, and yet he always came back. Takemichi always came back to them.
This was his last dance.
Everyone’s lives were on him and Takemichi was too good of a guy to just save himself and let everyone die.
Mikey doesn’t waste any time and stands up.
I’m sorry Emma.
Say goodbye to the things left behind. Mikey is not leaving Emma behind, he’s only letting her go. Because now, he had to focus on the things left. Sano Manjirou had lost a lot of people, but he also has multiple left with him and one of them is Hanagaki Takemichi.
And Takemichi needed him now.
Mikey is in the given location, Yokohama Bay, in no time after slipping in his uniform. Takemichi was wearing the complete uniform, and from where he was, he could see blue again. Relief was swimming in those blue eyes and Mikey feared that his heart was going to drop.
He lost Shinichiro, he lost Baji, he lost Emma.
He almost lost Takemichi.
He remembers. He still has Takemichi. Takemichi is still right here so he’ll be fine. Takemichi will always be right here. It doesn’t matter that he’s from the future, it doesn’t even matter now that he is Hina’s. All that matters is that Takemichi is here. Mikey should already be thankful to have that much.
He ignores the looks of surprise sent his way. He passes by Izana, the idiot that started this all, and Kisaki—the scum that had taken away his sister and almost took Takemichi as well.
“So you came in the end.”
Mikey can’t believe that he almost hadn’t, that he almost killed Takemichi by leaving him alone. He should have expected Takemichi to act recklessly, to sacrifice himself. It’s all up to Mikey to keep him alive. Takemichi keeps him grounded and Mikey keeps Takemichi alive.
“Thank you, Takemicchi.”
He was pulling him now, tugging onto his hair just like how he did when they first met—only this time, it was more gentle. He almost rests his head on Takemichi’s shoulder when he remembers that they were in public, in the middle of war where they had already lost people.
Mikey still smells Takemichi’s cologne despite the sweat and the blood.
“Mikey-kun…” He calls, tears now streaming down his face and it had looked so familiar to Mikey already; it was a part of the Takemichi he knew. The crybaby hero. “But why…? You’re not in the right mental state to come…”
He isn’t. If no one holds him back, if Takemichi doesn’t keep an eye on him, he might kill someone. But he had to come, after what Hina said, after the realization that he had left Touman alone, after finding out that Takemichi was leading the frontlines like the idiot that he is.
Mikey lets go of Takemichi, trying not to show his reluctance to do so.
But Takemichi had long turned to Hina instead. (His throat is dry, about to drown again, but he picks himself up. He can support himself. He can do just that. Takemichi needs a break, he had been fighting all this time, for the whole year nonstop just to keep everyone alive. Mikey can at least stop himself from falling. He can do it for Takemichi.)
Sano Manjirou can burn the whole world for Takemichi and he can freeze hell for him as well. Surely he can keep himself afloat just for him.
( “That’s why I’ve decided… I’ll kill all your friends and I’ll burn you down to ashes.”
Mikey snaps.)
It’s been two years.
And once again, Mikey is staring at vivid, azure blue, as blue as the ocean and as blue as the sky. It was as if the heavens and the seas were painted after that blue.
It’s the blue that is in Hanagaki Takemichi’s eyes.
In those two years, Takemichi had gone back to his time and Mikey resumed his self-destruction. He never thought that Takemichi would come back again, this time, completely for him. No one else. Takemichi was here for him. Because according to him, the future wasn’t worth it if Mikey wasn’t there.
( Please don’t say that. Don’t make me believe that you feel the same. )
He had spent more than a few months here again. He had given up a great future just to save Mikey again. He was crying again. He was the Takemichi Mikey knew again.
And now, Takemichi was smiling at him—tired but accomplished.
This time, it was his hand that Takemichi had to shake. Mikey was the last person he’ll see before he leaves again and it was Mikey who’ll see this Takemichi for the last time. This time, they would be together at the very last moment.
Stay? He knows he can’t ask that. Mikey could never ask that of Takemichi. Takemichi had gone through so much, he had sacrificed too much. Mikey can’t possibly ask him to stay. Takemichi deserved a break already, he deserved to be happy, he deserved to go back .
Why can’t this be Takemichi’s home instead?
Mikey hesitates on touching Takemichi’s hand but the boy was patient, not caring at all that Mikey was spending so much time just staring at him. There was no rush, Takemichi would wait.
Mikey knew.
This was it.
Mikey wouldn’t exactly lose Takemichi but he would never be his. If he lets Takemichi go now, Takemichi would never be his now and forever , Takemichi would be Hina’s.
But Takemichi deserved this.
Life is supposed to be short and sweet, you live in the moment. Mikey already had his time with Takemichi, he already had a few chapters with him. It was his time to exit now. It was time to give Takemichi back to Hina.
Mikey doesn’t shake his hand just yet though, instead he pulls Takemichi into an embrace. He wraps his arms around Takemichi’s torso, knowing that this might be the last. He could smell Takemichi’s cologne, he could even smell his shampoo, and Mikey resists the urge to force him to stay.
“Thank you.”
Takemichi hugs back, just as fiercely. He was probably tearing up, just like how he always did, Mikey just knew it. But he would also finally be at rest, he can finally let go, he can finally enjoy his life.
“I’ll always help you, Manjirou.”
Mikey pulls back before he could let himself shed any tears, before he could press his lips on Takemichi’s. Takemichi didn’t deserve to see that. Takemichi didn’t deserve to get forced to stay.
But Mikey also didn’t deserve to hear Takemichi say his name, it was making things a whole lot harder.
“See you in ten years?”
Takemichi grins.
“See you in ten years.”
They shake hands.
Sano Manjirou remembers blue.
It was vivid, azure blue, as blue as the ocean and as blue as the sky. It was as if the heavens and the seas were painted after that blue.
It’s the blue that is in Hanagaki Takemichi’s eyes.
It wasn't Mikey's and it will never be.
That blue was all a part of the past now, something Mikey had said his farewell to.
Say goodbye to the things left behind.
Sano Manjirou remembers blue.
Fleeting and short, one moment he recognized it, the next not. One second it was his, the second and it was not.