Chapter Text
1-4-2015
The whole thing had started off as a gag. Well, maybe not a gag but it had been a lame attempt by my boyfriend, Brecken, to gain some sort of favor with me. We had been dating a few months...and I really liked him, I did...but there was just no “spark”. He had asked me to go to a Christmas party with him, and it was a big deal. It was a formal, adults only kind of affair. I had accepted of course, I mean any excuse for shopping was pretty much a “you betcha” kind of answer.
The day of the party I spent getting gorgeous, I'm talking hair, nails, pedi, full body wrap...I was silky, shiny and sassy from head to toe. I admired myself in the mirror as I waited for Brecken. I'm blonde, of course, with long, soft curls that fall just below my shoulders. I'm pretty short, about 5'4” I think...which I love because Brecken is like 6' and that makes us look adorable. I have huge gray eyes, yes, gray...not blue, not hazel, gray. I have long eyelashes, an almond shaped face, straight nose, and let me tell you I have worked long and hard for the body I have. I'm not like a muscle bound work out fanatic, but I've walked so many miles on an eliptical I should OWN one.
I picked a red dress, satin, a-line cut, hugging my curves like I was dipped into it. I really spent a lot of time on this dress and the shoes...heels....probably higher than I should have chosen but they made me feel so sexy, so female. I had to get them. I had a little faux fur wrap for my shoulders and of course, diamonds sparkling from my ears... of course those were just Swarovski crystals...but still.
Do I sound vain? I'm not...trust me! I'm just a geeky 20 something who spends more time on Twitter than I do in the real world. That's why this party was so damn thrilling! Brecken got there on time as always, my heart beating like a hammer in my chest all the way to the party. Brecken comes from money, I forgot to mention that...although I don't date him for that reason, it does come in handy sometimes. He explained on the way that this party was actually some type of fund raiser and there could be some famous people there...maybe... Thank GOD for that mani-pedi!!
When we arrived at the ballroom which was in a glorious hotel. We were escorted to our table, left our coats in the coat room and went to get drinks. Open bar, of course. Wow. I was impressed with Brecken, with this party. The music playing slow, sexy and somehow Christmasy... We walked around looking at the decorations, the people, the outfits, and talked about how fun it would be to exist in this pretend world all the time. With both of us still working on our degrees it didn't leave much time or money for the kind of life we were looking at.
A few drinks later we were dancing lazily, and I guess I was probably feeling a little tipsy...we hadn't eaten a thing yet...and the lights were low and pulsing, all these lovely couples spinning and moving across the floor like some sort of huge orgy...it was beautiful. We had spotted a few people we knew from TV, a couple from Movies, certainly several from the various media and reality shows...it was thrilling to feel like a part of it all. I felt so beautiful and sexy and wanted. Several pairs of male eyes had wandered over my ass and breasts and I was like a female live wire, all electric and wanting. It was an odd thing...to feel like I was part of a huge sexual experiment and here I was with Brecken who was the farthest thing from my “Mr. Right”.
I had to use the ladies room. So I excused myself and as I was walking away my eye caught on the square shoulder of a tall man standing about ten feet from me. It was a side profile, just a glance really, but my heart knew who it was before he let out that amazing laugh and tipped his head back, showing off a perfect, white smile. I had stopped dead in my tracks. I was frozen in place. I couldn't believe it. I had to be drunk, or dreaming, or both. But then I saw the redhead on his arm and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind who I was gawking at. His wife noticed me, gave me a polite smile, and shocked me out of my reverie. I hurried off into the bathroom and hid in the furthest stall.
I was grinning, and shaking, and giggling like the biggest fan girl on the planet. I reached for my phone, wanting to tweet this or text it to someone...but I had NOTHING on me! I had completely forgotten about having to pee. I just didn't know what to do. In my mind I ran through several conversations I could start. I imagined running into him, tripping him, pushing him...oh my God anything to get to touch him...actually “touch” him. I got it together as fast as possible and headed out of the ladies room. I wondered how or if I would even bring this up to Brecken...he was totally aware of my obsession.
When I stepped into the wide hallway to re-enter the ballroom I heard him, “Mmm Hmmm....no they said we wouldn't need to have that to them until New Years.”
Then silence as he listened. I was standing there frozen again. This was nothing like I had ever dreamed. Carpeted hotel hallway, water fountain to my right...doorway across from me...closed. Me standing there, hands gripped in front of my heart which was beating a hard, sexy beat. He was oblivious of my presence and I felt like I was intruding in a dream. He was perfection. Dark hair held in place by some sort of gel. Tux falling off his body in just the right places. He had one hand in his pocket as he nodded at whoever was on the other end of the call.
“No, Jared's in Aspen with Gen and the boys until after then.” another pause, “I'm trying to get to Austin...no, I understand. I could stay in town maybe another day at the most.”
His eyebrows furrowed together as he listened to what was presumably bad news. He sighed, loudly, heavily and I knew I had to do something. But then it was too late to move. One foot had sort of slipped backwards because I was honestly thinking of retreating into the ladies again. But he hit the “End” button on his phone and pocketed it with one hand, the other running distractedly through his somewhat crispy hair. I couldn't believe it when he looked up, rolled his head around as if to loosen his neck up and muttered, “Son of a bitch.”
A noise, some type of strangled “erg” made its way out of my throat and suddenly he looked right at me. Eyes piercing me, then slowly wandering in appreciation down the front of my dress.... leaving a molten line of flesh under the area his eyes were taking in. He swallowed, nodded at me and said, “Well then.” I was blinking...feeling like a doe in headlights. Was I slumping? Was I standing tall and sexy like I hoped I was? Was my face as red as my dress? Finally, my brain snapped into gear and I mumbled out, “Bad news?”
“No. Not really. Just delays on some business. I'm used to it. But it sucks when it messes up my holiday plans.” He was moving toward me...toward ME hand outstretched, straightening his jacket and making sure his button was done up. “Sorry I cursed.” I laughed and thankfully it came out normal sounding and in the right volume. “Forgiven,” I said, taking his warm, strong, big, ohmygoditsjensenackles hand into my own and shaking it with the proper amount of feminine grip.
“Kate.” I said. Stupidly, I pointed one finger at myself as if he wouldn't know who the hell I was talking about if I didn't show him. “I'm Kate. Nice to meet you.” He hadn't even said his name, ohmygodnowheknowsimafangirl I thought, lamely. But he smiled again, yeah, you know the one I'm talking about...the one that wrinkles up his eyes, and his nose just a little as his teeth peek out again...why are they so damn white? “Jensen.” was all he said back to me. “You are lovely.” he whispered quietly, it grated out of him...he was still holding on to my hand, now with both of his. I swallowed, it hurt. I couldn't believe any part of this was real.
He looked up and made a gesture with his head, “Mistletoe.” Was it a question? Was he telling me...asking me...ordering me...begging me?? Oh my God, oh my God... “Yes. It is.” I said back to him. Swallowing one more time to make sure no drool escaped me at all. “May I?” and there it was. He was asking if he could kiss me under the mistletoe. I swear there was no air in the hallway, no time, no other human being existed in the entire world at that moment. It wasn't even just the sound of the words rolling off those thick, pink, smooth lips... His eyes were locked on mine, and green, oh they were just as green as I had imagined and there was humor in them and something deeper that I thought I was imagining...wasn't I?
He was waiting for an answer. Two more seconds and he would be gone. All that was going through my head was every fanfic I had ever read about him. My mind moving thirty times the speed of actual time. I was imagining him with Cas, him with Sam, him as Dean...his real life, his wife, his fucking dog went through my mind... and I'm being honest when I tell you not ONE thing would have stopped me at that moment in time. Nothing. No one. Except I knew all too well that there WAS in fact someone who could very easily end the moment, and so I whispered back, “Yes, please.” It was as easy as that in the end.
Holding my hand between his, he lowered his head toward mine. It wasn't as far away as I had imagined it would be, because my heels were really tall. Somehow, in one fluid movement he closed the space between us so that we were touching from toe to chest. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure if we were actually touching, but I could feel the pulsing heat coming off his body and radiating right inside my core which was already burning up. Our eyes never moved from each other. I was correct that I was seeing something deeper in those eyes – so totally ensconced inside a nest of black lashes, something burning from the inside out...and it made me hitch in a shaky breath right before his lips closed over mine.
His top lip covering my top lip...his full, pouty lower lip caught between my own. I closed my eyes and breathed in...light headed from the smell and feel of him. Time was not moving. One of his hands had let go of mine and now snaked around my waist to tug me toward him lightly...gently pressing my breasts into his chest as his mouth opened and his warm breath covered my face. He re-positioned his lips and sucked on mine. My own hand had found its way to his sleeve and I felt the expensive fabric running under my sensitive fingertips as every nerve in my body popped to life and reached out to him...begging him to wrap me tighter, suck me into himself somehow and keep me there forever.
The hand around my waist slid slowly, firmly up my back and into the pool of my hair that was there. He touched the nape of my neck and I gasped, pulling back suddenly because I wanted this to be real. I had to prove myself this was really happening. My eyes moved over his lips, still full and half open, reaching for mine. I looked up at the mistletoe, still hanging there like poison. My heart was throbbing, hurting me as it tried to escape me. His hand slid out of my hair, down my back and was gone. He gripped my hand still, and a small squeeze followed by, “Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.” Then he was gone, out of my space, moving away from me. He kissed my hand, and let it go...
He turned and walked back to the doors to the ballroom, pulling them open with a force that blew a breeze over my hot, achy skin. My eyes followed him until the doors closed behind him and I burst into tears.
And you need to know
That nobody could take your place, your place
And you need to know
That I'm hella obsessed with your face, your face
Oh, my heart hurts so good
I love you, baby--so bad, so bad
Oh, oh my heart hurts so good
I love you, baby--so bad, so bad