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"What are you doing here?"
Carnistir turned slightly, finding his brother looking at him. "Nothing."
Maitimo was leaning against the wall, a cup of wine still in his hand. "Is the party too much for you?"
Carnistir nodded, going back to looking down at his feet. In this corner he had found he was away from the crowd and most of the noise. He could take a well deserved break from it all. He had spent more than enough time trying to socialize, he was done with it for the night.
"Can I ask what's wrong?"
Carnistir sighed. His fingers were tapping together in a relaxing motion. "Some days I wonder if I'm stupid."
"You're not. I've seen the draft of the new policies you submitted to grandfather. They're very in depth."
Carnistir couldn't help but preen at that. It was always pleasant to hear that someone approved of his ideas, and he'd spent quite some time trying to make all of it work. This wasn't the moment to discuss legislature, however. "It's not about politics. It's about... people."
Maitimo took a sip from his cup. "People are hard. No one can understand all of them."
"I'd like to understand the basis at least."
"What happened?"
"There was this woman I know from court. She came to talk to me earlier, and I thought she wanted to discuss a few things from the last sessions of council. She started talking about it, at least. I don't think that was what she really wanted."
"Was she interested in you?"
"If by interested you mean romantically interested, she might."
"Want to talk about it?"
The motion of Carnistir's fingers sped up. "I just don't understand. I thought we were having a normal conversation. But then she moved as if she wanted to kiss me."
"Did she...?"
"No." Carnistir shuddered at the mere thought. "I stopped her before she did that. And then she turned angry, because according to her I had been flirting with her. I hadn't, just so you know."
"I believe you."
Maitimo did, but other people did not. This wasn't the first time Carnistir ended up in this situation. Whenever someone came to flirt with him, it always went right over his head, and he just had conversation like nothing was happening. It always went two ways: either it was assumed Carnistir had rejected the other, or that he had been flirting back.
It made Carnistir want to scream. Social interactions were already hard enough without throwing romance in the middle. It would be easier if someone at least declared their intentions first. A, Can I flirt with you? would be nice. Instead, they just had to start doing it and assumed Carnistir had gotten the message.
It was rare for him to have an easy conversation with strangers. Any enjoyment he had for it always faded the moment he realized what he thought had been casual chatting had been interpreted as interest.
He hated romance. It made his skin crawl. No matter how hard he tried, it was just one of those things he never understood. His brothers had tried to explain in the past what the appeal of it was, but to Carnistir it only sounded like a convoluted set of rituals that led to nothing good.
Even more than romance, kissing disgusted him. Carnistir disliked most touch, only bearing that of his close family, and only at times. Strangers touching him was upsetting. Strangers trying to rub their lips against his was revolting.
Thinking about the kind of touches married couples did would be in itself enough to make Carnistir hate the very concept of marriage. From a purely intellectual point of view, Carnistir understood how stimulating certain parts of his body could bring pleasure. The act itself, however, sounded horrible. The amount of skin to skin contact involved would have Carnistir panicking in a matter of seconds.
"Love sucks," Carnistir declared.
"I... respect your judgement in that."
"But you don't agree."
"I cannot say I do. But I also cannot say which of our opinions is the correct one, if a correct one exists."
"The majority agrees with you," Carnistir pointed out.
"So? Your judgement has been proven good many times, even when it's not shared by most," Maitimo replied.
"When it comes to laws, not people."
"We all have our talents."
Perhaps. It did not stop Carnistir at times from wishing that he had been given a smidge more talent when it came to people.
But he did not wish he had different opinions when it came to relationships. Others could have their fun with them. Personally, Carnistir was happy having nothing at all to do with them.