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You smirk amused as you watch your friend James gazed across the hallway at his long-time crush, Lily Evans. He had a dopey smile on his face and was leaning against the locker, grinning as Lily laughed at something one of her friends said. You finished getting your books out and snapped your fingers in front of his face.
“Hallo! James! Earth to James!” you said impatiently as you knew, by looking at your watch, the tardy bell would ring in a few minutes and the two of you needed to get to class. When James still didn’t respond, you reached out and pinched his arm. “Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?!” James complained rubbing his arm and wincing as he did. “Well you should have been listening to me” you mutter smugly. “We’re going to be late for class” you nudged him towards his locker and James nodded, getting his books out quickly.
“You should talk to her, you know. It’ll work much better than staring at her like a bloody psychopath” you say as you enter your first class of the day and take your seats. “I can’t. You know that” James complained opening his notebook and began doodling in the margin of a page. “Yes you can!” You say rolling your eyes and turning to glare at him. “It’s not that hard to talk to a girl James, you don’t seem to have any problems talking to me” you point out as your teacher enters and starts the class.
James sighed. “It’s easy for me to talk to you, because I’m not in love with you, and being around you doesn’t give me anxiety. Quite the opposite really” you sucked in a breath. James may have just been stating facts, but you felt as if someone had smacked you across the face. I’m not in love with you. You knew James was only trying to point out a valid reason to why it was easier for him to talk to you than to talk to Lily Evans. But that didn’t necessarily make it hurt less.
The truth was you were in love with your friend. You weren’t sure when it happened, or even how for that matter, but since your 12th grade of high school you found yourself falling for him. And you honestly hated yourself for it. Because James would never see you in that way and you were simply setting yourself up for major hurt.
James had been infatuated with Lily Evans since 10th grade began. He was just so in love with her, it hurt. He would spend most of his free time ranting on and on about how beautiful she was or describing the red colour of her hair in different ways. He would talk so much, usually you, Sirius, Remus and Peter just zoned out, only interjecting with ‘yes’ and ‘ah’.
But Lily on the other hand couldn’t bother herself with James. She was always surrounded by her motley crew and while she was never outright mean to him, you knew that Lily found James about as interesting as one finds and overly enthusiastic puppy. She was just a polite person by nature, but you knew she didn’t feel that way about James, and probably never would.
But of course you didn’t tell this to James. Even if you did, he would never listen to you. So you simply observed as he fumbled around Lily.
****
“Volunteers will get extra credit” Sirius read out from the leaflet pinned up to the notice board in the middle of the hallway. “Meh, Norbury will probably make us pose in boxers” “Sirius!” you smacked his arm angrily. “It’s an art class!” “Jeez woman! Relax, I’m kidding” Sirius said chuckling as you scoffed.
“Practicing drawing actual people we know is more of a challenge because you know them, so it’s expected that you get their features and dimensions right” you said pinching the bridge of your nose in irritation. “If you’re forgetting, I’m a part of the art program you just so blatantly disrespected” you say crossing your arms as Sirius cowered behind Remus who laughed.
“Don’t hurt me please!” he said in mock fear as you scoffed. “What’s going on here?” James asked walking over from behind you and throwing his arm around your shoulder. You tried not to focus to much on the fact that he did it so casually, as if you were one of his ‘bros’, which in his eyes you probably were. “Nothing, just Sirius being an arse” you say angrily, glaring at the boy.
“So the usual then” James summed up, before he glanced towards the notice board and saw the art leaflet. “Bloody hell! A male model needed for the art program. Isn’t that the same one Evans is a part of?” you felt as if something in you had punctured. Remus sent you a look like he’s an arse, don’t take him too seriously.
“Yes Lily, and me” you say softly, ducking from under James’s arm, suddenly not wanting to be near him. “Oh right, you’re part of it too. Could you do me favour?” you arched an eyebrow at him. “What?” “Will you ask Ms. Norbury if there’s still and opening or if she’s got someone already? And if she hasn’t, can I volunteer?” you nodded stiffly. “Of course. That’s what friends are for” you muttered miserably before turning around and walking down the hallway, towards your art classroom.
****
“Go on then. What are you waiting for? Mate, you were the one idiotic enough to sign up for this” Sirius said nudging James towards the closed door of the art room, an amused smile on his face. “It’s not that bad. After all, for this, Evans will be completely focused on you. So it’s a win-win” Remus said, leaning against the wall, feeling bored of James’s anxiety.
“Well yes, but what if that leads her to start observing all of my flaws?” James bemoaned, backing away from the door. “Then mate, she isn’t the one. If she expects you to be perfect, then what’s the point?” Remus said shrugging as James nodded. “Alright. Wish me luck” he said, before tentatively pushing the door of the classroom open. “Ms. Norbury?” he asked, poking his head in.
The art teacher, Ms. Susan Norbury, smiled in relief and happiness when she saw him. “James! I was afraid you wouldn’t show up! Well you will be getting your extra credit, but still! I was worried you wouldn’t!” she whispered to him and then she turned to her class, which consisted of twenty students, all of them seated at their easels, a drawing sheet in front of them. From the back, James saw you shoot him an encouraging smile and he felt a warm sense of comfort wash over him.
You can do this he told himself. All you need to do is sit still while they draw. That’s easy. Ms. Norbury directed James to a stool in the middle of the room so everyone could see him properly. “Now students! Last week, we drew a portrait of a female. Now this week, we will be drawing a male. I want you to pay extra attention to the differences between a male and a female’s facial structure” she continued to ramble on pointers for the students to keep in mind, but James wasn’t paying attention. His cheeks were burning in embarrassment as he tried not to make eye contact with anyone.
You were giggling to yourself as you observed James’s face changing colours, your earlier anger at him fizzling away. James saw you and sent you a pleading look, mentally willing you not to laugh at him. But you didn’t give him that reprieve. You continued to giggle softly. Then Ms. Norbury sent you a warning glare and you sobered down, instead focusing on your easel.
You didn’t even have to glance up to look at James. You had been his friend long enough to have his face imprinted on your mind. Only occasionally you’d glance up and then look down again. You heard giggling and turned to see your girl classmates whispering to each other and giggling.
Even Lily had a soft smile on her face as she observed James’s face before continuing sketching. James noticed her smile and his embarrassment washed away, a pleased smile settling on his face. You sighed to yourself before returning your attention to your work.
By the end of the class, you had finished your sketch and only colouring in was left. As the class was dismissed and the students began rushing out, you waited back, pushing your books into your bag. Lily too had left leaving James and you alone. “That was sufficiently awkward” James said rubbing the back of his neck as you looked at him quizzically.
“How so? All you had to do was sit there” you said amused. “Besides it’s not as if you have anything to worry about. You’re not exactly bad-looking” you say shrugging. James sighed and followed you out. “Think she noticed?” You scoffed. “Of course she did. The whole class did. You were what we were drawing!” you say as James piped up. “Let me see!” he said eagerly as you rolled your eyes fondly. “It’s not done yet. I’ve still got to colour it in”
“I don’t care. I want to see” James insisted, child-like excitement creeping into his voice. You sighed and making a big show of annoyance, pulled out your sketchpad. “Here. Happy?” “Delighted” James took the sketchpad from you and looked at the sketch, his eyes widening almost comically. “Y/n, bloody hell, this is, it’s…” he looked at you, his hazel eyes wide. “I can’t even describe it! It’s like a photograph!” he exclaimed and you felt your cheeks flush at the compliment.
“Thank you” You say chuckling embarrassedly. The truth was you had spent quite some time drawing sketches of James and at this point, drawing his picture was like second nature to you. As you took you book back, you heard a loud “James!” from behind you. The two of you turned around to see Lily jogging up to you, a shy look on her face. “James! Hi, I was wondering, perhaps you could help me finish my portrait? I haven’t fully done it yet and I wanted it to be ready before the next class so I can colour it in” she looked flustered, looking only at her nails as if they were suddenly very important.
James looked at you, and you shrugged like guess the old do-something-she-likes trick works. “Uh, sure Evans- Lily!” James spluttered and you scoffed. “Brilliant. Meet me in the park after school” with that she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving you with a very flustered James. “Well? Looks like you got the girl” you say trying not to sound bitter as James nodded. “Well, want me to walk you home?”
“I’m studying with Remus in the library near his house so I’m going to be going there” you say, biting your lower lip slightly. James followed the movement with his eyes before saying “Alright. See you Monday?” “Yeah, definitely” with that you two took off, both going in opposite directions.
****
Monday after school, you were sitting in the library, reading when someone sat down opposite you. “Hello Mr. ignored-me-the-whole-day” You say without looking up and James sighed. “Sorry, I was just…busy” “Yeah, busy coming up with lame excuses to not talk to me” you say placing your book on the table and crossing your arms as you glared at him.
James ducked his head sheepishly. “Sorry” he said and you scoffed. “Anyways since you didn’t answer my texts, will you tell me now how it went? Your ‘date’ with Lily?” James winced. “For one, she just wanted to finish her sketch if that’s what you’re asking” “Didn’t she talk to you?” “Oh just the pleasantries, you know thanking me for removing time to help her, the works, you know” James sounded so nonchalant, you had a hard time deciding if he actually didn’t care or if he was just pretending not to.
“Oh, I’m sorry” you say, not knowing what else to say to him as James scoffed. “Well, at least I realised that no matter how hard I try to impress her, she just isn’t going to see me in that way. So I’ve decided to move on” You leaned forward, interested now. “Move on? Really? That’s…impressive James, you’ve matured” you say smirking and James grinned.
“Yes, I spent the weekend listing down all the reasons why I liked Lily and came to the conclusion, what I felt for her was just…puppy love. I didn’t really know her that well at all to be in love with her” “That’s wonderful. So now what are you going to do?” you asked and suddenly James face turned mischievous, as he leaned in conspiratorially.
“Well Remus told me the most interesting thing the other day” You suddenly felt nervous, not liking the smirk on James’s face. It only spelt trouble. “Really?” you asked and he nodded. “Oh yes, something about you, fancying me” you gulped audibly as you sat, frozen on your chair. Part of you was horrified by your situation while the other part was raging against Remus calling him all sorts of names.
“Oh” you managed, words had seemingly left you. “Yes oh” James grinned obviously amused. “James I’m-” “Wait!” James reached out and pressed a finger to your lips. “Don’t” he said and you nodded mutely. “I’m actually happy to hear that” you arced an eyebrow. “You are?” “Uh-hmm” “Alright then” you relaxed a little, leaning on the table to look at James. “What now?” you asked as James shrugged. “I think this is the part where I ask you out” he said in conspiratorial whisper.
You nodded, going along with him. “And? Are you going to?” “What’s your answer going to be, if did ask you out? Hypothetically, obviously” “Well, hypothetically, I would say yes” “Perfect”