Work Text:
Two years later.
Lapis wasn’t sure how she had decided on this, wasn’t sure yet how she felt about it, but it was undeniable. She was here and she was doing it.
She held a box on her hip, quirked up so she could look at the building she had spent so much time in; all the tears and laughs and everything else in between. It was only really setting in now.
Still, she didn’t have long to reflect before Amethyst came up behind her, bumping into her with enough force to get her to almost toss the box entirely to the ground, “Don’t tell me you’re getting all sentimental on me now,” she huffed when she recollected herself and traced Lapis’s stare to the apartment building sat in front of them, “This was your idea after all,”
“I know,” Lapis replied in a murmur, “Doesn’t make it any less weird though,”
Amethyst sighed, shifting the box she held in her grip so she could place a hand on Lapis’s shoulder. She gazed up at the building herself, and Lapis briefly shifted to watch her gaze. Her face was still and serious, a rare occasion, and Lapis quickly looked back towards the brick building, disliking the sight.
“Yeah,” Amethyst eventually replied, her voice lowered and soft, “It’s gonna be an adjustment,”
Lapis frowned at that, the weight of it, again, really sinking in after ages of pushing the thought aside. She was moving, they were moving, away from each other at that. And while Amethyst wasn’t lying, Lapis had been the one to first bring it up, she still wasn’t sure she had ever yet accepted it. She couldn’t imagine life without Amethyst constantly around, busting into her room, making her dinner, gossiping with her over the counter, sending her smirking glances each and every time she mentioned Peridot. She could be intolerable, truly and utterly miserable to live with, but Lapis didn’t think she was quite ready to be rid of her, annoyances and all, “I’m gonna miss you a lot,” she mumbled, hating how weepy she already sounded.
“You’re not getting rid of me, you know,” Amethyst laughed, quickly turning to give Lapis a gentle punch on the shoulder, “I’ll be at your door all the time. Gotta make sure you’re still well fed even when I’m not livin’ with ya,”
Lapis smiled, finally turning to face her properly, even when she feared it would make her cry, genuinely, to have to look at her and say goodbye, even if only just by distance of a highway rather than a hall, “I know,” she whined, “But still,”
Amethyst’s smile dropped as Lapis spoke it, her words wobbly and wavering, and her own eyes quickly became glossy as she looked back at Lapis. But before she could cry at Lapis’s crying, before Lapis could cry at her crying at her own crying, she furrowed her brow and raised a finger to shake at her, “Don’t you dare make me cry, Laz,”
Lapis laughed, trying her best to sniff away the tears even when she knew it wouldn’t work, “How about you don’t make me cry!”
But still, the boxes were dropped and Lapis was pulled into a long, tight hug.
**
Lapis didn’t know how she had been talked into this, or why she had thought it was a good idea, or why she had been looking forward to it, but whatever it was she was certainly regretting it now.
While Peridot had graduated, again, and was currently getting nervously settled into a real job, a grown up job she had gasped nervously when she had been accepted about a month ago, Lapis was going back to school. By some wicked twist of fate as a science major herself.
Needless to say Peridot was bouncing off the walls in excitement. She had been in a state of almost withdrawal for a while, already talking about going back for her PhD, or else another masters in environmental science or biochemistry or aerospace engineering or any of fifteen other subjects Lapis had never even heard of before, and having Lapis in this situation now, soon to be enrolling in courses she had taken years ago, had loved and missed, was like a sort of mad relapse.
Lapis had been continually trying to calm her since she proposed the idea. She was hardly really going to school, she reminded, she was still working full time at the cafe, was only taking a few credits to try it out, toying with the idea of going back more than actually doing so at this point. One of her classes only met once a week, the other twice, both at the latest possible hour she could schedule so she could still work similar hours to before. It was hardly the vigorous workload Peridot was used to, was hardly the type of thing that had made her love school. Lapis wasn’t even sure if she was going back the next term, wasn’t even sure if she would make it through this term.
But Peridot was relentless anyway.
She was rushing off to dig through old boxes constantly, Pumpkin chasing her heels and barking in excitement, and returning ages later, panting and with a mad look in her eye, an old beat up notebook, a dusty lab manual, a hellishly large textbook, things Lapis had never even seen before, balanced haphazardly in her arms. Lapis had to suppress her laugh as she rolled her eyes, Peridot quickly explaining how she had technically never taken the classes Lapis was going to be taking this semester, had passed out of both of them, and their sister courses, and their sister courses’ sister courses, through AP classes and placement exams but this , these things, they had been her notes once before. They would help, she insisted.
Before Lapis could argue or agree or anything else Peridot sat down promptly in her lap, flipping through pages rapidly and smiling to herself, telling Lapis story after story of the labs she had done years ago, of her high school biology teacher and his oddly pyro-centric lessons, of her high school best friend slash lab partner and their adventures in accidentally destroying a plethora of equipment, of AP exams and the prompts she could remember from them. And while she moved so fast it was hard for even Lapis, who had grown more than used to her conservational tendencies, to keep up, Lapis didn’t mind. She smiled despite the excessive nature of it all, resting her head on her shoulder and watching mindlessly as her page flipping continued. Peridot’s passion, even in the silliest of things like this, now, was such a steady and constant comfort. So Lapis listened as her chest swelled pleasantly, overwhelmed with love.
That is until Peridot jumped up suddenly with a squeal which startled everyone in the room, Lapis nearly hitting her head on the wall behind her as she jumped, Pumpkin barking, startled, as she awoke from her nap. With a gasp Peridot began running, shouting loudly about how she had flash cards which she had used to study for her exams. Lapis found herself laughing as she watched her rush away, knowing with a pleasant sort of feeling that she was certainly not going to get away with dropping any classes this semester. She would be lucky enough if she could get Peridot to stay at work and not attend them with her.
**
Considering how otherwise distracted Peridot had been, especially when she formally started her first non-training day, her first real day, she insisted, Lapis was not really surprised when she came to a jolt late one night, the both of them half asleep atop each other on the couch, the TV mindlessly playing in front of them. Lapis had ignored homework at her side, Peridot a series of documents for her to review (something she had already done thrice before but insisted on doing at least thrice more) and her jolt knocked both things to the floor with some mild commotion. Lapis blinked her eyes open at the sound of the crash more than the movement, a mumbled, “You okay?” falling sleepily to her lips.
Peridot nodded, turning to her with tears in her eyes. Lapis frowned loosely, waking up abruptly at the sight, and she found herself cooing gently to Peridot as she pulled her closer, “What’s wrong?”
“We live together now,”
Lapis was so taken aback by the absurdity of the weepy statement that she forgot to laugh for a few blunt seconds, “ Peridot ,” she replied when she finally caught up.
“I know ,” Peridot whined, wiping her eyes even when they still remained just as glossy, “I just hadn’t really realized yet,”
“It’s been a month,” Lapis smiled back, a smirk resting on her face as she rubbed a gentle circle onto Peridot’s shoulder.
“I know!” She squealed back, pouting as she quickly washed over in a faint pink, “Stop pointing it out! It’s embarrassing!”
Lapis laughed at the display, heart light, bursting gently with washes of warm color, and despite how easy it would have been to tease her, despite how much she wanted to, she was so caught off guard by the sudden overwhelming nature of the feeling of the moment, of her love for Peridot and her eccentricities and sensitivity, that she couldn’t, “It’s not embarrassing,” she whispered, smiling as she watched Peridot try to keep her tearing eyes under control, “It’s cute”
Lapis shouldn’t have been surprised when that made Peridot cry more, her progress immediately washed away with a new rush of glossiness to her eyes. But somehow she was caught unaware and found herself laughing, chest tight and bouncy and light with enamor, and she could do nothing else but cup Peridot’s face in her hands and tilt her chin up to place a gentle kiss atop her lips.
**
Five years later
It had taken a little longer than most but somehow, miraculously, Lapis had done it. She was graduating.
In the end she had switched quickly from her biology degree into something a bit more manageable, a bit more her; psychology. Peridot had been sad but was happy Lapis was doing something she actually liked. Lapis just found Peridot all the more impressive for finding a topic she found so endlessly frustrating and dull interesting, invigorating. But that didn’t matter now, even when, come next semester she finally was going back for her PhD, no semester ever allowed to pass by with the both of them out of school (especially considering Peridot, and, for that matter, Lapis’s advisers, were trying desperately to get her to apply to grad school). No, it didn’t matter right now, she wouldn’t think about the many years she had ahead of her; the years of Peridot rambling about whatever research project she chose, let alone the fact that the prospect of her picking just one was surely going to last ten years on its own. No, it didn’t matter, nor did it matter how excited and proud she really was; Peridot was good enough that she didn’t need her PhD, could have kept moving up without it, but she wanted it. And that was so Peridot that it made her heart burst. But no, as much as Lapis had been thinking about that, Peridot and her furthered schooling, a lot as of late, as much as she was vehemently proud, genuinely excited for Peridot under her thinly veiled mask of exasperation, now wasn’t the time. Because right now Lapis was graduating. She hadn’t ever thought she would.
It was weird, the scene in reverse.
It only felt like days ago when Lapis had been the one in the same bleachers Peridot now sat in, somewhere. Maybe she sat in the same spot Lapis once had, maybe Lapis in the same spot she had then. Maybe it really was the exact same scene in reverse, their spots in the stadium included. She was sure, at least, that Peridot was looking for her, just like she had looked for her all those years ago, just like she was looking for her now. She figured if she could catch sight of her, if Peridot found her too, they could communicate with their eyes through the dull speeches, surely, inscrutably, almost the same as the ones she had been forced to listen to at Peridot’s graduation.
In the end she never managed to find her, sat too far away to pick one little blonde out in a field of strangers, but she found her soon enough. It had seemed almost as soon as she had crossed the stage, left the bright lights and dizziness of all those eyes, Peridot was pouncing on her. Lapis laughed, picking her up and spinning her around, chest glowing a vibrant shade of yellow at the hundreds of little kisses which were pressed onto her cheeks, her forehead, her lips.
And even when Amethyst interrupted, a groaned, “Gross,” falling from her lips, the feeling didn’t leave.
“You’re just jealous,” Lapis quipped back, setting Peridot, who pouted in protest, back on the ground.
Amethyst chortled, rolling her eyes, “You just look so hot in that cap and gown,” she smirked, quipping an eyebrow, “How can you blame me?”
“I know this is true,” Lapis feigned exasperation, draping an arm across her forehead, “But you’re too late,” she grabbed Peridot by the waist, pulling her close with a gentle tug, “I’m already taken by a fairer dame than you,”
Amethyst rolled her eyes, “How will I ever move on?”
**
Ruby and Sapphire had found them just when they had given up, were walking toward the gate. Ruby was crying and Sapphire was smiling sweetly, a pale blue gift bag held neatly in her hands.
It had been a few months since she had left the cafe, a necessity due to school and her starting an internship where she would, in only a week from now, be becoming a paid employee, and Lapis had been surprised by how much it had stung to leave. Ruby and Sapphire hardly let her go easy though, insisted she come by to study, dragging Peridot along, and handing out free coffees every time they arrived. Considering the two of them were still, more or less, the only “customers” who ever wandered in it was a wonder the place was still operational but Lapis was glad at least to come back from time to time. And even when she didn’t come by, the couple called her nearly daily, asking about her day and her grades and all else. The sweet little thing Lapis had trained the few weeks before she left often mumbling perplexingly in the background all the while.
Lapis had tried to refuse the gift when they handed it to her but in the end a gift was a gift and Lapis could hardly say no.
The proper gifts, a bag of coffee grounds and cash, far too much of it at that, was hardly the interesting part, however. Sat alongside the money was a very sweet and sappy card from the two of them. It had made her a little teary eyed to read but the way it ended had made her heart skip.
In Sapphire’s neat little cursive the gentle words: “Good luck”.
Somehow Lapis knew it wasn’t a good luck on her moving off into the world. Sapphire was too sharp for that. When she looked up at her the sly wink she caught from behind her bangs only confirmed her feelings.
She didn’t have time to ask how she’d known before Peridot was pulling her along, Amethyst having grown bored had run off to pester moms of the graduating class and needed to be pulled back. Sapphire had simply smiled and waved, Ruby held tight and weepy on her arm.
**
The day had moved rapidly and when Lapis and Peridot arrived home it was late. Lapis’s feet ached from walking and her throat was sore from laughing but it was pleasant. And even more pleasant with Peridot’s fingers interlocking with her own as they walked into the apartment, her millionth sentence of praise, adoration, on her lips. But it was quickly distracted from. Pumpkin, no longer much of a puppy but still one to act like it, barked excitedly as they entered, giving a gentle hop towards Lapis. Lapis bent down, accepting the kisses and nip at her nose even when Peridot let her hand go, shaking her head.
“Are you ever gonna stop letting her bite at you? It’s bad to teach her that it’s okay,” but even when she scolded there was a smile on her voice.
Lapis laughed, rolling her eyes as she finished her pets to stand, “She’s not really biting me, just playing,”
“I know,” Peridot replied, drawing out the word as she dug through the basket next to the TV, “But still,”
Lapis smiled as she watched her, glad her back was turned so she could not see her, again, rolling her eyes, and she hopped over the back of the couch, landing neatly in her spot. Pumpkin jumped up besides her, nestling her way into her spot so they could wait for Peridot.
It took her a minute to find the right tape, they didn’t often watch Camp Pining Hearts much anymore, trying to ensure they still enjoyed it down the line meant not circling through it on loop any longer, but today was a special occasion. Peridot knew well by then Lapis’s favorite season, three, and started it without prompt before rushing back to the couch, cuddling her way into Lapis’s side.
It was only then, when Peridot hit her, nestling her way into her side perfectly, an act she had well perfected over the years, when the nerves started.
She was proposing . Today. Now.
Jesus Christ.
She had been planning it for a while by then but the nerves had been passive for the most part. Ever since she had really decided, got past the initial fear, started planning realistically and saving her money and scanning through websites and shops for hours, picking out the perfect ring, even after she had bought it, held it for the first time, she had never been all that nervous. She knew what Peridot would say. She had known before she had even wanted to ask her, before they had even started dating, what her answer would be; what she would say. And after all this time, after years upon years of genuine ease, a relationship which went, to Lapis’s thrilled surprise, without any real fumbles, major hiccups, Lapis wasn’t nervous that she would have a reason to say no. She wasn’t nervous about saying forever, either. She hadn’t been for a while.
In the past, a year or two ago, when she had thought of it, when Amethyst had asked gently about it, it had scared her terribly. No matter how kind Peridot was, no matter how patient and considerate, no matter how careful she was, no matter how happy and genuine and lovely things between them had been, the fear as a whole hadn’t ever fully gone away. She was still scared sometimes about the small things and this , an undeniably big thing, the promise of forever, the inability to quickly change her mind, had been too much to cope with. What if something went wrong? When it was harder to walk away? What if Lapis got too comfortable after it all and forgot to watch herself? Even if she had never really had to before, had never needed to watch herself out of anything other than excessive caution, what if this time she let her guard down and it came back? Or what if Peridot did say no? By some fluke, laughed in her face and threw the ring across the room and they broke up and Lapis had to move back in with Amethyst and her terrible, annoying girlfriend? She couldn’t risk it and, even when her chest dropped, she had pushed off the thought until recently. This semester, actually.
It was something stupid, as most epiphanies related to Peridot had been. Peridot had just gotten accepted to do her doctorate at her old university, Lapis’s current university. She had been so excited she had screamed and danced around the house and it had reminded Lapis so much of before that she grew teary quite quickly. She was so glad Peridot was going to be back in school, as ridiculous as it sounded. She hated being the academic; Peridot suited it so much more naturally. And when Peridot turned around after hoping all about the room to see Lapis crying she had fallen into tears before she could even ask what had happened, scooping her into the softest hug only after asking if she could.
Something about that moment had shifted it all in her chest and as Peridot rubbed her back, breathing shaky sobs into her ear, Lapis decided that she didn’t care about the what if’s or the fear anymore. She wanted to marry Peridot more than she was afraid of what could go wrong. By a lot. And that, she decided, would be enough to keep things from going wrong. Just as it, just as she, had been doing for years already.
Now that it was actually happening though, as the plan was underway, or mostly underway, Lapis was feeling a bit nauseous. She wasn’t sure what exactly it was she was worried about, just that she was worried. Unfortunately she didn’t have much time to settle her nerves, either. Peridot had skipped to halfway through the season, Lapis was realizing now. She guessed it was because she was tired, wanted to go to bed, and knew Lapis liked the second half better anyway, but it left her in a tight spot.
Suddenly she held significantly less time to settle her nerves, she noted as Peridot laughed at a line, likely something stupid although Lapis could hardly confirm that to herself given her state, cuddling herself a little looser into Lapis’s side. Lapis adjusted her weight to make room for her, accept the touch, and tried desperately to slow her heart beat with a long breath. She hoped Peridot wouldn’t notice, hoped even more so that she wouldn’t notice the way she wiggled her other arm, fumbling repeatedly in her pocket to grip the small box tightly in her hand.
She didn’t seem to and at that Lapis let herself relax for a moment, at least one crisis was averted. And at the hint of calm, her nerves settling a bit, Lapis gripped onto the feeling, focusing instead her attention down onto Peridot herself, desperate to squish the fear away.
She was decidedly more awake than Lapis would have expected, alert and facing forward, the gentle glow of the screen lighting her face a pretty bluish tone. It sparkled across her skin pleasantly, washing her all over in the serene color and when she shifted to look up at Lapis, catching her staring, she smiled.
She was phenomenally pretty, all round cheeks and spots of dainty freckles and sloping lines and the most beautiful, wide, genuine smile Lapis had ever seen. The sight of her smiling up at her like that, so gently, kindly, sincerely, made Lapis’s heart tumble and flip and swell all at once. It was overwhelming, all powerful and looming, but it was astonishingly good. It was a feeling Lapis was more than glad to have grown rather used to over the years, one which made her a little bit teary to think about now. But before she could express it, do anything really, Peridot hummed gently at her, her face warping quickly into a look of concern, her voice soft if carrying just the vaguest beginnings of her tiredness.
“You okay?” She asked simply and Lapis, overwhelmed, in love, shifted suddenly so that Peridot was knocked off of her, sat to her side, a short little look of confusion hitting her face.
it wasn’t the plan, not in the slightest, she was supposed to wait for the finale, Peridot’s favorite episode, wait for the end with the fireworks and the celebration of a canoe race well won, but Lapis decided she didn’t care. Now was good. Now was more than good.
“Lapis?” Peridot asked as she sat upright, a gentle frown falling onto her face.
“Peridot,” Lapis replied a little breathlessly, the words caught in her throat, her tongue growing dry.
Peridot laughed gently after a beat, a beautiful and kind sound, and Lapis’s heart swelled madly, “Yes?”
And Lapis, swallowing her pride and her nerves and simply letting the overwhelming feel of love consume her, shifted in her seat until she stood abruptly to face her on the floor at the edge of the couch, “Peridot,” she started again, watching as her eyes scrunched tight in confusion, then widened, grew teary, as Lapis fell to a knee, “You are-“
But she didn’t have a chance, didn’t even have a moment to pull the ring from her pocket. Peridot stood quickly to her feet herself, hands raised over her mouth and held tight so her words, which came out as abruptly as her standing, were muffled, “Are you-?” she stammered before she stopped, her voice high and flustered.
Lapis laughed at the sight, surprised but feeling silly for feeling that way, of course it would go like this, of course Peridot would be crying before she had even said three words. She laughed, nodding, “You wanna let me finish or?” she drew out the question, teasing.
But Peridot fell into her so fast that she couldn’t help but laugh. She took her in her arms and rubbed her back as she started to sob, nodding and stammering as she squeezed Lapis tightly.
Lapis found her chest beaming so brightly she felt she might be torn apart at the seams, burst into a pool of liquid gold. She should have known, should have expected to not be able to get more than two words in, but she didn’t mind. She’d tell her later, she’d tell her every day instead. Each and every morning, afternoon, evening; she'd tell her all she had meant to know, how much she loved her, how much she meant to her, how deeply she had changed her. But for now she would make do with simply holding her in her arms and giggling as Peridot finally managed to get a fully coherent, yet still stuttered, “Yes” out.
Lapis laughed in response, growing a little teary herself as she pulled back despite Peridot’s whined protest, wiping her cheek and placing a kiss on the cleared spot, “You didn’t even see the ring yet,” she mumbled, pulling the box from her pocket with slightly shaking hands.
But before she could open the box, show her after all, Peridot was already working her way back into her arms, sobbing all over again.
Lapis laughed once again and snaked her arms around her back, holding her tight and feeling lighter than she had ever had before.
Still, eventually Peridot calmed, or at least enough to pull back herself, and she gently prodded at Lapis’s hands, asking with a muddied voice to see it.
Lapis laughed, wiping again at her cheeks, disastrously shiny and pink in the low light, “You sure you’re ready?”
Peridot rolled her eyes and groaned loudly, “Shut up,”
Lapis laughed, pressing a soft kiss onto the side of her face, Peridot sighed at the touch, “Just teasing,” she pulled the ring back out from her pockets, gently opening it to reveal the band inside to Peridot. Lapis pulled it out gently, gripping it carefully in shaky hands as she lifted Peridot’s hand, sliding the ring carefully onto her finger. It sparkled there prettily and Lapis found herself growing weepy even before she looked up to see Peridot having fallen back into silent little tears, her other hand gripped over her mouth as she cried.
“Per,” Lapis whined, pulling her face with both hands into hers.
“Lapis,” Peridot whined back, breathing gently onto her face as they pressed their foreheads together.
Lapis smiled despite her teariness, letting her hands fall to grab Peridot’s. The metal of the ring was jarring on her fingers but sparky and wonderful all the same. She traced her finger over the band and felt Peridot sob a heavy breath into her face at the feeling.
Lapis laughed again, shaking her head before she reached back up to place gentle hands on the sides of her face, pulling her in for a kiss.