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“This isn’t what it looks like,” Tony protested, the words coming automatically. He grimaced. “Well, okay, maybe it is,” he admitted. “Sort of. But I didn’t do it on purpose!” He popped open his facemask and gave his rescuer a wide-eyed, innocent expression.
Bucky snorted. “Well, I suppose if anybody could’ve managed to pull that off,” he said, gesturing at Tony’s current position, the armor wedged tight between two buildings, “on purpose or not, it’d be you, doll.” He gave Tony a slow smile, reassuring the other man that he wasn’t angry. In fact, if he discounted the matter of Tony being caught on camera showboating before he got stuck trying to fly through a too-narrow gap, then it was actually pretty funny.
“Look, it’s really just a big misunderstanding,” Tony sighed.
“Pretty sure it’s not,” Bucky argued, grinning under his mask. Tony glared at him.
“If you’re done flirting, could we please get a move on?” Steve asked, exasperated. “We’ve gathered a crowd.” And sure enough, down below was a large group of bystanders, many of them recording or snapping pictures, held back by the police force that had been called in to keep them from doing something stupid.
Tony groaned. “Great, you brought along the fun police,” he grumbled.
Bucky shrugged, squeezing his way in beside Tony so he could start manually retracting the armor. “Someone’s gotta hold the ropes,” he said pragmatically.
Tony blinked at him, then took a good look at him, dressed in his Winter Soldier gear and strapped into a harness, a rope leading to the top of the tower. “You….came down from the roof,” he said, and it wasn’t a question.
Bucky smirked, his hair covering his eyes as he located the manual latches - with perhaps a little more groping than was absolutely necessary - and released them, freeing Tony’s arms. Immediately, one of the genius’ arms wrapped around Bucky’s shoulders, and the man purred, “Why do I find that so sexy?”
Bucky chuckled. “Probably because you’re imaginin’ us fucking 50 stories up in the air,” he growled in Tony’s ear.
Tony gasped, then moaned. “You are a horrible influence,” he accused. “And now I’m not going to be able to un-imagine that.”
“Aw, c’mon, you two!” Steven complained. “Do you have to flirt over the comms? You’re right next to each other!” They both ignored him.
“That’s okay,” Bucky reassured him, releasing the last of the releases and gathering Tony close. “I wouldn’t want you to.”
The Iron Man armor, now free of its burden, folded down into its compact suitcase form and dropped to the ground, leaving a small crater where it landed. Happy, who had been waiting down below, grabbed it, looking up for a moment before giving a jaunty wave and heading back for the car. He’d make sure it made it back to Tony’s workshop.
“Ready?” Bucky asked.
Tony grimaced. “Yes and no?” he tried, shifting uncomfortably.
Bucky laughed, light and carefree, his metal arm holding Tony tight, his other hand on the rope tethering him to the roof. “Bring us up, Cap,” he said.
There was a long-suffering sigh over the comms before the rope started retracting, the two men sliding upwards inch by inch, helping where they could and trying not to scrape any tender bits against the sides of the buildings. Bucky would’ve preferred to crab-walk them back out into open air, but it had been hard enough squeezing between the walls when it was just him.
“So...back to the topic at hand,” Tony started, stopping to hold his breath as they squeezed over a ledge, “I hope you know I plan to hold you to it. I know a place where there’s a great view.”
Bucky chuckled. “I’m sure you do, doll,” he replied amicably. “But first, you gotta explain to me how you got yourself wedged in there. Didn’t all your fancy tech tell you th’ space was too small?”
Tony felt his cheeks heat up, and a particularly tricky window sill gave him an excuse to not answer right away.
“Buildings should not be this close together,” he grumbled rather than answer the question. “I feel there’s a code violation in there somewhere.”
“Yes, yes, it’s all just a big misunderstanding,” Bucky chuckled as they reached the rooftop, allowing Tony to scramble over the top before following. He glared at the local news helicopter flying nearby. “I’m sure Pepper will see it your way when she finds out.”
Steve laughed as Tony groaned, “You know what? Just drop me in the nearest hole somewhere, would you?”
“Should’ve thought about that before you got yourself into trouble,” Steve told him.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Bucky snorted a laugh.
Almost as if on cue, Bucky’s phone rang. He pulled it out and handed it to Tony without even looking. Tony allowed Bucky to tug him towards the waiting quinjet. “Pepper, darling! You didn’t have to disturb Bucky, you know. Jarvis would have put you through.”
“You put him on mute, Tony,” Pepper replied archly. “Also, as I am currently watching Captain America and the Winter Soldier rescue Billionaire Tony Stark on CNN, I assumed you’d try to wiggle your way out of this discussion.”
Tony put a hand to his heart in mock offense. “Miss Potts! Would I do that to you?” He was met with stony silence. “Okay, fine,” he agreed, “I absolutely would. But only because you don’t need to worry about something as small as this. I mean, I’m sure it’ll blow over by next week.” Both Steve and Bucky gave him incredulous looks, though he didn’t realize why until he played back what he’d said. “Oh, shit, Pep, I didn’t---”
Pepper’s tone could have frozen Cap right back over. “Tony Stark. You knocked over a skyscraper. I didn’t even think that was possible. And you think this is just going to go away?!”
Tony winced. Steve moved to the front of the craft to pilot it, and Bucky gave him a commiserating squeeze on the shoulder before disappearing as well, leaving Tony alone to weather Pepper’s fury. “Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a complete skyscraper yet,” he pointed out. “And obviously, the structural integrity is not up to par.”
Pepper took several deep breaths, calming herself, and Tony used the opportunity to make a mental note or three. “Tony, we are not going to be able to sweep this under the carpet as a misunderstanding. You’re going to have to take responsibility.”
Tony sighed. “I know,” he said. “No, I know,” he repeated before Pepper could answer. “I’ll talk to the city and the construction company. I’ll pay for the building if I have to. But not tonight. Nobody got hurt, no other structures got damaged. PR has already been notified. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a statement out already. But tonight, I just want to go home and appreciate the fact that I have a boyfriend that rappels off of skyscraper rooftops to come to my rescue.” He shifted in his seat.
Pepper was silent for a long time before agreeing grudgingly. “It’s probably better to let PR do damage control before you go in there and tell them their lack of structural integrity is to blame for this fiasco.” Tony grinned.
“See?” he encouraged. “We both know I’m great at charming a crowd, but authority? Not so much.” Pepper couldn’t even argue. “Look, I’ll have Jarvis put you on DEFCON-1 priority, okay? Just tell me what you need, and I’ll make it happen.”
“Fine,” Pepper agreed. “Go home and lay low. I’ll coordinate with Steve, and tomorrow, we’ll get this fixed. Even if you have to rebuild the tower by yourself. Understood?” The warning was clear. Tony still thought everybody was making a big deal out of such a small accident, but he knew better than to argue. He wasn’t that stupid, thank you very much.
“Yeah,” he agreed. Then, “Thanks, Pep.”
“Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” Pepper asked archly, though her tone said that it had better be.
Tony smiled up at Bucky as the other man stepped out of the cockpit and headed towards him. “That’ll be all, Miss Potts.”
He reached for Bucky as Pepper hung up, melting into the kiss. Bucky pulled back with a smile. “Just a small misunderstanding, huh?”
Tony stuck his tongue out, and Bucky laughed. Tony grinned.
“So,” Bucky said, settling in next to Tony and pulling the smaller man into his lap, “are you going to tell them?”
Tony gave him a wide-eyed, innocent expression. “Tell them what?” he asked.
Bucky laughed. “You’re not fooling anyone,” he told Tony, who shrugged.
“I don’t have to fool them. I just have to give them plausible deniability.”
Bucky rewarded him with a kiss, then murmured in his ear, “Wanna scandalize Stevie a bit more?” he murmured, his fingers sneaking wickedly between Tony’s spread thighs.
Tony purred. “Do you really have to ask?”
“Don’t you assholes even think about it!” Steve called from the front of the jet, the distance no match for super soldier hearing.
“Language, Cap!”