Chapter Text
Izuku looked back at his classmates, unsure.
“You want me to go into the supply closet? Isn’t it- um- isn’t it a bit… dark?”
“You aren’t scared, are you? You’re a big, scary siren. Unless you’re lying about something. You can admit it, it’s okay. If you fess up now, we might not hurt you,” Sugimoto leered at him.
“No! No I’m- I’m not lying! Here, I can- I can show you.”
Hesitantly, Izuku peered in. There weren’t any fish nearby to comfort him. He glanced back at the others, then crept forward into the dark. A hand met his back, shoving him further in. He whirled around, but it was too late. The door shut with a metallic slam.
“W- wait-” Izuku’s heart sped up. “Hey- I’m- um- I’m trapped. Can you open the door? It’s re- really dark here.”
He heard giggles from the other side of the door. “What, are you scared? You can last in there. You can’t sing if no one can hear you.”
“It’s- it’s dark. I don’t like it. Can- can- can you jus- just let me out?” Izuku felt panic rising in his throat. “S- Sugimoto? Please- I- I don’t like it here. It’s scary.”
“Oh, no,” Sugimoto’s voice laughed from the other side. “You can stay there. You can’t hurt anyone when you’re stuck. And just in case-”
The slat of light filtering into the room went black. Izuku felt himself pale.
“L- let me out! Let me out! Please, I w- won’t lie- I won’t- I- what did I do wrong? I won’t do it! I’ll- I’ll be good, just- just- S- Sugimoto, let me out!” The siren pounded on the door, heart thudding harder than his fists on metal. His breathing was fast and shallow.
There was no response.
Izuku was alone.
He didn’t know how long he begged and pleaded with anyone that was listening to open the door, to let him out, to even say he wasn’t alone. He would have taken Katsuki, even though Katsuki was mean to him now. He just wanted someone. Anyone. Even if it meant that he would get hurt, he couldn’t stand the empty abyss.
It seemed like an eternity before the door creaked open. Izuku didn’t know when he’d started shaking, but he couldn’t stop now.
“Midoriya, you should really be more responsible. I mean, locking yourself in the supply closet?” Izuku’s teacher towered over him, frowning.
“I- I d- d- d- didn- didn’t!”
“Speak clearly.”
“Y- yes, sir. Sorry.”
“Now what was it you were saying about not being responsible for this? I expect you to be honest.”
“I- I di- didn’t lock myself i- in, honest! S- Sugimoto sa- said that I- I should look in and- and if I didn’t I was l- lying and the- then I did and he- he pushed me and lo- locked the door!” Izuku couldn’t help crying, bubble tears spilling out of his eyes. “I- I wa- was so s- scared!”
“Midoriya, I told you to tell the truth. Sugimoto has been looking for you for two hours. It’s clear that I can’t trust you like I thought I could. This is very disappointing.”
Two hours. Two hours. Had it been that long? It felt like longer. It felt like he’d spent a year in the cold, dark room, alone.
“I’m- I’m- I’m n- n- not ly- lying!” Izuku insisted, eyes wide. “He- he- he d- did!”
“I know you’re embarrassed, but stop it. For someone who doesn’t want to be associated with sirens, you’re awfully dishonest. If you don’t want to be punished, fess up.”
“I- I am be- being honest-”
“Midoriya!” Izuku flinched back at the man’s tone. “Written apology and two hours’ worth of cleaning. Either that or I have a chat with your mother.”
“N- no- I-”
He looked into the teacher’s eyes, and then looked away. Was he really not willing to listen to Izuku? But the cold look he had made the siren tear up. His heart pricked with pain.
“I- I’ll do it. I- I’m sorry.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Rule eleven: Don’t trust anyone. Not even teachers.
Denki swam side-by-side with Izuku, talking animatedly. Izuku found his lips pulled up into a hesitant smile as the other boy talked. The blonde could be a little high-energy, but it was nice to have a friend.
“Dude, by the way, have you checked the date today?”
“Hm? N- no, why? Is it important? Is- is it someone’s birthday?”
“Nah. Look in there, there’s a calendar.”
It was dark and cramped, not something that Izuku would get remotely close to if there wasn’t anyone else nearby that was okay with him. He paused at the entrance, swallowing his fear. “Um, I ca- can’t really read it from here.”
“Get a little closer. C’mon.”
“I- I really don- don’t think we should even be he- here, I mea- mean, I ha- have a calendar in my room and-”
“What’s wrong?”
He’ll see how weak you are. Scared of the dark. Scared of close spaces. How stupid.
“N- n- nevermind! Nothing’s wrong.” Denki was still staring at him, so he continued further, trying to calm his breath.
Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong.
A leering face, a door closing behind him, hours spent in the dark trying to breathe while mers cackled outside like his pain was the funniest joke in the world.
“It- it- it’s um- A- A- Apr- April? Th- the- the f- first.” He absently noticed his voice was shaking. Why was Denki so caught on the date? Maybe he just wanted to know if it was the start of a new month?
Creak.
“Nonononononono wait-”
Dark consumed him. It was suffocating, just like he remembered, but he wasn’t expecting it this time. He thought that maybe it would be different. He thought that maybe Denki wouldn’t have been like the others. He thought that maybe he would be safe to trust again.
Obviously, he was wrong.
He hates me. He’s realized how I should be treated. He’s going to leave me here alone because that’s all I deserve. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I just wait. I have to wait. Otherwise things will be worse.
Will he come get me? Will anyone come get me? Or is Denki only the messenger. Would they be happier without me? Will they notice I’m gone? This was my only home. This was my only home and now everyone hates me, again. Maybe I can be less annoying. Maybe I can stop my stuttering and muttering and everyone will stop hurting me. But that never worked before. It never worked before, so why should it work now? I’m good for nothing. They’ve realized it. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t-
“-ku! I- uk- br- me- please!” Faintly, he was aware of shouting and blurry colors in front of him.
“I- I- I c- ca- can’t-” he gasped, “I- I- I- I ca- can’t br- brea- breathe. It- it- it’s s- so d- dark-”
“S-fe, you- safe.”
Safe? I’m not safe, I’m alone. I’m alone and I always will be and everyone hates me and-
“Breathe with me. Ju-t breathe with me. O-ay? Izuku, are you okay?”
He could faintly see the rise and fall of the person’s chest. With too much effort, he copied it. Things cleared up a little bit. Shoto was kneeled near to Izuku but not touching, looking concerned.
“What are five things you can see?”
“I- I- I c- can s- s- see… you. A- a- and- and li- light- and- and- and s- sandstone- and the spires- and- and u- um- my- my hands.”
“Four things you can hear?”
“Y- your voice- my- my- my brea- breathing- f- fish swimming, m- mers t- talking.”
“Three things you can touch?”
“The- the f- floor? U- um, my- my hands cla- clasped to- together, and the- the current.”
“Two you can smell?”
“Uh- bl- blood. I- I th- think I- I cl- clenched my- my fists too hard. And- and u- um, the- the salt of the- the sea?”
“And taste?”
“My- my own breath.”
“You’re safe.”
Izuku was breathing again. He wasn’t alone, it wasn’t dark, he wasn’t hated. He wanted to cry with relief. Or, well, he would, if he weren’t already passively crying.
“I- I- I-” Izuku looked away. “I’m so- so- sorry. I- I- I over- overreacted. It wa- was my f- fault.”
“You were having a panic attack. How is that your fault?”
“Guard- guardians sh- shouldn’t ha- have fears like that. Cr- cramped sp- spaces, the- the dark, be- being alone. That- It’s pa- pathetic.”
“You’re allowed to be afraid. It’s not pathetic.”
“B- but-”
“It’s not. I promise you.”
“The rea- reasoning i- is…”
“You don’t need a reason to be scared. Everyone is afraid of something.”
Izuku was quiet for a moment. “They used t- to- they used to shut me in there. In- um- in dark rooms. They- they knew it- it got to me. U- usually, it was- was only ab- about an h- hour or two. I th- think the l- longest time was s- six- I think. May- maybe seven. I- I don’t re- remember a lot of it. I wa- wasn’t aw- aware of m- most of it. I do- don’t wa- want to re- remember.”
“Izuku-”
“Izuku, I am so sorry, I thought it would be funny and then you didn’t start talking or seem to realize and then when I asked, you didn’t respond and- oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Denki burst out. Izuku hadn’t noticed him behind Shoto earlier.
“It- um- it’s fine. You- you didn’t know. I to- told you it was okay.”
“I should have noticed you acting off,” Denki murmured miserably.
“Honestly, I- I’m just happy you don’t hate me. That was… I’m pathetic. I know I am.”
“No way. I’ll stay by your side no matter what! I’m super sorry I hurt you, again. No fooling.” Denki hugged him, and Izuku started to cry again.
How did I deserve such good friends?