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Sirius Black's best friend, his brother, was dying.
He had received an urgent message from Lily, the parchment wet with tears, telling him that James was admitted to St Mungo's in critical condition after an Order mission went wrong and Sirius had never been so quick at packing up and coming to James' home as soon as possible.
Being in the Order was dangerous, they knew that, knew the risks. But he had never imagined that his best friend would be one of the people that were hit hard during their missions. James was an amazing dueler and an intelligent person who knew his boundaries, especially with Harry in his life now. The thought of him never seeing Harry almost brought Sirius to tears but he held on. James needed him. Harry and Lily needed him.
Hearing that his brother had an untreatable condition from his tearful wife was not something he was going to accept so easily. The healers had said that the curse used on him was most peculiar and although they managed to lift the spell, it had somehow left behind an affliction that they had never seen before. James was in constant pain when he was awake and couldn't manage more than two words before they had to put him back to sleep. Sirius spent countless days trying to find healers, even muggle doctors that could cure him but whenever he described the symptoms, all he got was a shake of the head and a pitiful 'I'm sorry'.
The healers at St Mungo's had even told him privately that if they couldn't find a cure soon, James would not be able to survive in so much pain for long. He had nearly trashed his whole apartment that night before Remus came to check on him.
In desperation, he had even looked into dark arts and banished methods but none of them had the capacity to restore his best friend to health.
"Sirius, you have to sleep. Please."
Lily was tired herself but she couldn't bear to see Sirius wasting away as well. He had not slept in days and every waking moment was spent on research and trying to find a way, any way, to cure James.
"I will, Lily. Just a few more minutes." Sirius replied as he flicked through the pages of a heavy tome.
She wanted to say something, insisting he go to sleep but held herself back at the last moment, biting her lip and leaving him silently.
Days passed with Sirius heatedly searching for something, anything, when he came across a quaint, abandoned shop. The shops around it were also deserted, the area being left alone for a long time but the wind chime gently playing it's tune on a windless day caught his interest.
"What the hell?" He murmured, squinting up at it as if looking at it would give him some answers.
He bit his lip in contemplation. Times were dark, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for the death eaters to lure someone in.
Even so, something in Sirius compelled him to open it. Just to make sure that he didn't leave any stone unturned. Yeah, he'll give it a go.
And that's exactly how he found himself standing inside the perfectly clean antique shop, looking at the old, rustic decor. His amazed eyes looked around, finding dozens of old items that were probably worth thousands of galleons which Sirius had no idea about.
There was no one at the counter but Sirius was almost sure that the shop belonged to a witch or wizard, judging by the way it was carefully hidden. Now he just had to find out if that person was good.
Sirius cleared his throat as he approached the counter but no one came. He drummed his fingers on the table, casually looking around for any threats or traps but couldn't find any without casting a spell and alerting the owner.
"Can I help you?"
At once, Sirius brandished his wand and turned towards the source of the voice, wand pointed at an old lady. He didn't lower it, still watching her as she walked towards him with the help of her cane.
"I was expecting you Mr Black. I just didn't know when you would come."
If anything, her words made him tense up even more and he frowned, hand gripping the wand even more tightly.
"How do you know my name?" His harsh voice made the woman laugh.
"Ah, I forgot how hot headed youngsters are. It's fine, I don't care much about the world outside my shop and I have no sympathy for killers," she said.
"Come, let's talk. Time is of the essence and if you want to save your friend, I suggest we make haste."
Just hearing this had him recoiling in shock, wand lowering.
"How did you—"
"Boy, I haven't got time for your baseless accusations. Now if you want help, start talking," she said in a strong voice and Sirius gulped.
Remora hummed as Sirius finished telling her his problem and what the healers had said.
"I'm afraid the situation is more dire than I originally thought."
Sirius chewed his lip anxiously on hearing her.
"Usually people come here to ask for charms that will bring them luck or health but your brother's health has already deteriorated a lot."
"Isn't there something you can do? Anything?" Sirius asked, hoping and praying that she'll have a positive answer. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't. She was quite possibly his last hope.
"The healers already broke the curse but its effects linger. That shouldn't happen."
Remora saw Sirius's face fall but she had to continue.
"But this sickness, this curse, is unlike anything I've ever heard or encountered. It seems as if someone made it themselves and only that person will know how to cure it completely."
Sirius sighed and massaged his temples, already a headache forming at the thought of his next question or rather, statement.
"So you can't help me."
Remora saw how miserable he looked, a man who had given up all hope and could only watch as his brother's life withered away. She hesitated, opening her mouth only when he was about to leave.
"There's this rumour….of a witch living in the woods not far from here. It is said that she has been alive for a long time and knows all the magic to exist till now."
Sirius turned around to look at her, hope beginning to light up in his eyes.
"If you wish to take a chance to try and find her, I'll give you the directions. But beware, the woods are treacherous and there's a reason she hasn't revealed herself to others till now."
Sirius found himself standing in front of the woods, backpack hanging from his shoulders and a luck charm in his hand. He really was going to do this.
Taking a deep breath, he entered the woods, having a feeling that he won't ever be the same if he returned alive.
–
You felt a sense of foreboding today.
It had been a long time since you had this feeling. It didn't necessarily mean that something was wrong, but that something significant was going to happen.
You just weren't sure if you wanted it to.
–
As Sirius trudged through the forest, he felt as if the old witch was only trying to scare him. There weren't any wild animals and he hadn't seen any 'treacherous' behavior as well.
It had been two days, as much as he could count, and Sirius had seen no signs of any house or castle or anything that might indicate that someone lived here. He was tired and hadn't slept for a long time and right now, all he wanted to do was curse that old lady himself.
She must be having a good laugh at his expense. How she fooled a twenty something guy to walk around in a forest without any effort at all. Maybe Death Eaters were lying in wait for him somewhere, to show up and finish him off.
As he was grumbling to himself, he failed to notice a pair of golden eyes watching him from the shadows. Always far enough that he wouldn't suspect that something was following him.
It seemed that Sirius finally had some luck as he saw a little dwelling, not far from him and his face broke into a relieved expression.
"Oh, thank Merlin." He mumbled, hurrying towards the house.
As soon as reached it, he banged on the door, asking if anyone was there.
"Hey! Is anyone in there?"
No answer.
Sirius sighed. Maybe it was an abandoned house.
As he turned around, the sound of door opening made him stop in his footsteps and he looked back to see a black cat with golden eyes looking at him intently.
"Aw, what's a kitty like you doing here?" He leaned forward to pet it but the cat opened its mouth, sharp canines on display, as a warning for him to stay back.
Sirius froze.
"Okay, so you're not a good kitty."
He gulped and thought of what to do when another figure entered his vision.
"Onyx, what did I say about leaving? You can't go there alone."
Sirius's breath caught in his throat. Out of all the things he had expected, a young woman in dress wasn't what he was expecting.
"Weren't you supposed to be old?" He blurted out and immediately covered his mouth in indignation.
Merlin, he was a mess.
Only then did you notice him standing there and cocked an eyebrow at his weird clothes.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He hurriedly tried to explain himself but you just leaned against the wall, watching him carefully.
When you didn't seem to want to kill him, he began telling you the reason why he came here. As he reached the part where he asked for your help to make a cure, a potion, you interrupted him.
"No."
Sirius's heart fell.
"No? I don't understand. That witch told me you could help me."
You gestured for Onyx to go inside and he did so, but not before shooting Sirius a dirty look, which Sirius had no idea how to comprehend.
"I can make it. But I'm not making it for you."
With that, you slammed the door shut and Sirius could only stare at it, flabbergasted, before his mind caught up with what you said.
"What the– hey! Open up! I really need you to make it! Please! My brother's life is on the line!"
He knocked and knocked but no matter how much he shouted or pleaded, you would not open the door. After screaming for four hours, he had exhausted his voice and the lack of sleep seemed to catch up to him as he slid down, hand still on the door, pleading with you.
"Please…"
And everything went dark.
When Sirius woke up, it was night and he was cold. Shivering, he scrambled around to find his wand and muttered a quiet 'lumos'. It probably wasn't his wisest idea but the wand glowed and he once again, turned towards your door. He wasn't going to give up.
Not at any cost.
–
The banging on the door started once again and you gritted your teeth in anger. Why did this man bother you so much? You refused and he should have gone back to wherever he came from. Instead, he kept insisting on getting your help and had been going at it for a long time now.
You weren't used to it. It had been a long, long time since anyone came to you and he was probably the first in the past few centuries.
Since he refused to let up, you'd have to make him leave yourself. Deciding this, you put your spellbook aside and opened the door, causing him to fall down on his face.
You waited patiently until he gathered himself up and looked at you.
"Listen, my brother is sick–"
"I know! He's dying blah blah, you need my help blah blah but I already told you. I'm not making you a potion or a spell." You spat, irritated by his persistence.
Sirius clenched his jaw at how easily you seemed to dismiss James' condition but he took a few deep breaths to control himself. He was here to ask for a favor, so he should probably be a little more soft-spoken.
"Please. I'll do anything you want, I'll give you anything you want. Just save my brother." He begged and you felt yourself considering. He had been outside for so long after all.
You sighed and Sirius wanted to grin.
"Since you're asking so nicely, I'll consider your request," your voice dripped in sarcasm but Sirius didn't mind. He was too focused on your words.
He beamed in relief but it was quickly shattered when he heard your next words.
"But you have to make the potion yourself."
"A potion?"
He stared at you in disbelief as you threaded your fingers through your familiar's beautiful black fur who had come in at some point and you picked him up. His face twisted in anger at your nonchalant appearance and he glared at you with menace.
He had enough of your games.
"How do you expect me to make a potion myself? I would have done that in the first place if I could."
He shook his head in disgust.
"I shouldn't have come here at all. All you know is to swindle and mock people." He spat and turned his back to you, ready to leave.
But you didn't give him permission yet.
Sirius felt his whole body go rigid and tingle at the back as if someone had pricked ice cold needles into his spine. He gritted his teeth to endure it as you kissed Onyx affectionately and set him on the ground.
As you ran your cold, cold fingers along his nape and then jaw, Sirius felt himself shiver and he wasn't sure if it was entirely because of the cold.
You looked him in the eye, a wicked smile playing at your lips as you watched him struggling.
"You didn't hear all of it, darling. You will make the potion and I'll be there to guide you, every step of the way."
Sirius frowned, finding it a bit too simple for someone with practically no heart. There must be some kind of catch that you're not telling him about. He wasn't that stupid.
Guessing what he may be thinking about, your smile widened as you freed him from the spell and he gasped, falling to his knees.
"Of course, you'd have to grow all the herbs by yourself in the little garden outside my humble home. The crystals and other unconventional things, I can provide you myself."
He got up shakily, rubbing his injured nose and getting used to being back in control again.
"Are you fucking kidding me? My brother hasn't got that long. He'll die if I have to plant and grow those stupid herbs myself." He argued and your eyes, which had displayed amusement all the while earlier, turned as sharp as a knife.
"Sirius Black, don't try to trick me. According to the healers, he still has a few months left. That's plenty of time for the required herbs to grow. And if you don't mess up, the potion will save your brother's life."
Sirius cursed you in his head. How the heck did you know about his brother's current condition? He wanted to get the potion, give you some money or whatever and be on his merry way. He didn't expect to be asked to make it himself.
Looking at his sour face, you once again walked away from him, speaking without even looking at him.
"You have three days to decide, Sirius. Three days and my home will relocate, never to be found by you again. Decide wisely, your brother doesn't have much time. And I'm pretty sure the last plant you had was a cactus that died in a week."
For the first time since coming here, Sirius wished he had found a benevolent and kind witch, not someone like you, unpredictable and dangerous.
The three days you had given to Sirius were the most anxious days of his life. He didn't know if he could trust you.
From what he gathered, you were a fickle person who loved to change their mind quickly. Who knows if he agreed, you would actually give him the potion or just use him to do something for you.
But his options were very limited. The healers had already declared that James wouldn't be able to survive for long and his condition wasn't medically treatable. If he didn't agree, he would have to see him die. Harry would have to grow up without his dad. And that was not something he would let happen, no matter what it took.
So at the end of the second day, he packed his bags, told his friends that he was going to find a cure and left the house. They had tried to convince him that there was no cure and he should spend his time with James for as long as he could. But Sirius stubbornly insisted that he will find one and make his brother healthy again.
Lily burst into tears at that and Remus just shook his head, trying to console her.
"Don't give me hope. Please."
Sirius hugged them one last time and left for the woods once again.
You watched as Sirius huffed and grumbled, adjusting his heavy backpack, trying to find your home again. The surface of the water rippled, where you dipped and swirled your finger in it and the scene changed.
His brother was lying on the hospital bed, sickly pale and looking so very weak. You could see that he wasn't going to last much longer if you didn't help. Sirius had made the right choice, because if there's one thing that you've never done, despite living for so many years and your trickster ways, that is to break a promise.
Your eyes glazed over with the memory of the last promise you made to someone. He was the most important person in your life and you, his. Just thinking about him made pain blossom in your chest and you reluctantly swirled the water to show Sirius once again.
You cracked a small smile, seeing his hair all messed up and tangled with leaves stuck in them. You could tell he wasn't someone who was used to manual labour, by how much his chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You decided to rid him of his misery and guide him towards your cottage.
He jumped up as a trail, seemingly out of nowhere, appeared and he groaned before following it, knowing it must have been you. You let the water return to its natural state, retracting the spell and waiting for Sirius to come.
It was a few minutes after that the door to your cottage swung open and a grumbling Sirius entered complaining about the prickly bushes. He glared at you as you waved at him. Your cat hissed at him in warning and to your utter surprise, he hissed back.
"What? Don't give me that look." He put his bag on one of the armchairs and turned to you.
"Now, tell me which plants I have to grow to create this potion." He had begun rolling up his sleeves, looking to work right away but you merely raised your eyebrows.
"Sweetheart, obviously you have never grown a plant in your life. Have you seen the condition of my little garden bed? You can't just grow some plants in that dumpster."
He blushed at being called out but scowled at you in dissatisfaction.
"Well, then how did you make potions before I came along, huh? Just conjured them out of thin air?" He meant to be sarcastic but your gaze hardened and suddenly, he realised that you were a centuries old witch that could incinerate him at any moment.
"I haven't made someone a potion since the fifteenth century."
He looked at you in shock as you walked up to the bookshelves and started looking for a particular book.
"F-fifteenth century?" Sirius sputtered in disbelief and you turned towards him with one of the thickest books he'd ever seen in his life.
You heaved it towards him and he barely managed to catch it, knowing that the muscles in his lower arm were definitely torn.
"Read up, Sirius. You have two days." With that, you walked out of the supposed living room slash brewery, not sparing him a single glance as you walked upstairs.
Sirius wondered if you had a strict policy about deadlines because there was no fucking way that he was going to complete this monster of a book in a mere couple of days.
"Come on, Lancelot." You laughed and Sirius looked at you in disbelief.
Who the fuck was Lancelot and why the fuck were you looking at him like that?
Sirius couldn't control his body and reached for your hand as you walked ahead of him.
What is happening? Sirius thought, looking at the rosy blush on your cheeks and your hold tightening on his hand.
He knew you wore old fashioned dresses but unlike your usual ponytail, your hair was tied up in an intricate bun, a few strands escaping and fanning over your face.
You both stopped at a nearby tree, where you bent and picked something up.
"Look, a baby bird!" You excitedly showed him your finding to which Sirius cooed.
Wait, what? He didn't do anything! Sirius was panicking.
He reached his hand out to you and you gently placed the little bird in his hand, looking at him with gentle eyes.
He now concluded that he was either having a dream or an out of body experience, neither of which sounded too far-fetched to him. It was like he was 'Lancelot' and doing everything that he did.
He stroked the bird with slow, careful hands and it chirped in response.
Sirius woke up gasping.
Clutching his head, he thought about the weird dream he had. Something that had to do with you but the details were already escaping his mind. He shook his head, considering it to be a side effect of all the stress he had been undergoing through.
He didn't realise that he had fallen asleep, reading that big manual and now, your familiar's yellow eyes were looking at him eerily and he felt goosebumps rising across his skin.
"I assume you finished that, considering you decided to take a nap."
He whirled around in his chair, heart beating uncontrollably at being caught and came face to face with you, leaning against the bookshelf.
He didn't want to show it but he was really intimidated by you. You had a natural poker face and sometimes he wished he could know what was going on in that head of yours.
He stood up, matching your blank stare with one of his and mustered up a reply.
"Only a few pages left and then I can start working on the garden."
Your amused eyes made him relax a little, knowing that at least you wouldn't kill him for taking a break.
"Contrary to what you think Sirius, I'm not a monster. Not anymore."
He felt that the last words were directed more to yourself than him.
You watched Sirius, leaning against the wall, as he tilled the little garden patch outside your cottage.
Your lips curled downwards at the memory of a once fully bloomed garden, which now lay barren and destroyed. You had so painstakingly cultivated all those flowers and herbs to make potions that people used to buy.
Your garden was once the source of all powerful potions and they helped a lot of people. But it all changed one day.
Sirius's groan brought you out of your reminiscing and you looked over to see him huffing and puffing, out of breath.
You pushed yourself off the wall and examined what he had done. He looked at you wearily, as if expecting you to shout at him to do it all over again.
"Great job, Sirius. I wouldn't have thought it to be your first time, if I didn't know any better."
Sirius laughed airily, surprised at your harmless jab at him, when you always appeared so cold and decided to give his own genuine response.
"I'm never doing this again."
"Oh, but we're just getting started."
"What are you making?" Sirius encircled his arms around your waist.
By now, he had gotten over the initial shock and decided to just roll with whatever the person, who was definitely not him, did.
You giggled.
You fucking giggled and Sirius was once again, surprised by your open nature with this man.
"It's a healing potion. The cobbler's daughter is ill and he asked me to make one for her." You replied and continued to mash the herbs together.
"You do so much for everyone. When will you take some time for yourself?" Sirius buried his face in your hair and much to his surprise, he really liked the scent of strawberries that emanated from you.
You stopped momentarily, turning in his arms to look at him.
"I want to help as many people as possible. It keeps the guilt away."
He frowned.
"I don't like you thinking like that. You might have been like that in the past but now you're not. You are the kindest person I've ever met." He ran his thumb over your cheek comfortingly and you sighed sadly.
"If only that were true."
You woke up the next day to see Sirius searching the kitchen.
"What are you doing?"
He inhaled sharply and turned around so quickly that some of the pots and pans fell from their places and Sirius cursed at the loud sound of them hitting the ground.
You had opted for a simple dress today, just a plain white gown with a brown overcoat and Sirius found himself thinking that he preferred this look, instead of the flashy gowns you wore.
"I was uh- looking for something to eat."
You hummed and reached for a basket placed in one of the corners.
"Someone like me doesn't need to eat. So if you want something," you placed the basket in his arms, eyes crinkling with mirth.
"You're going to have to go foraging."
"No, no way. I don't even know which fruits are poisonous or not! And what do you mean 'someone like you'?" He protested but you shrugged in indifference.
"It's not me who's going to starve to death if I don't eat. Besides, who told you to exhaust all your supplies within the first few days of coming here?"
Sirius blushed in embarrassment.
"I assumed you would have some since people do need to eat to stay alive." His sarcastic voice prompted you to shake your head and leave, not before teaching him a little lesson though.
"Ow! What was that spoon for?"
A month passed in the blink of an eye.
Sirius didn't know how he survived living with you. God, you were insufferable, always making him work, didn't do anything yourself and acted like he was a little animal to be toyed with.
At times you were strict, going as far as to make your familiar, that damn cat, watch him to ensure he worked properly and sometimes you were this cool lady, talking to him nicely and confusing him even more.
What he hadn't expected were his plant growing skills. He did mess up quite often and your fury was enough incentive not to do it again, but still, out of the five herbs, he had grown two of them. They were still saplings but you assured him that in just two weeks, they'll be ready to pluck and use.
"Then why didn't we plant the other three along with them?" He had asked.
You were sitting outside, making odd drawings in the dirt with a stick. It was times like these that Sirius felt that you weren't so cold hearted as you initially appeared to be. He still remembered that when he had come here for the first time, you had outright refused him and later acted coy and demanding.
But now, maybe it was because you were better acquainted with him or because you were living together, Sirius often saw your soft sides when you hummed to the plants he was so painstakingly growing, how you didn't look at him like a nuisance anymore and may other small things that other people hadn't had the chance to see.
You paused your drawing and looked at him.
"Because they can't be grown together. Their auras will clash with each other and we won't be able to use either of them."
Needless to say, Sirius had warmed up to you now. But not that cat, it was a little devil.
One evening, you and Sirius were both sitting side by side on the ground, reading. You were reading a potions book and Sirius was still learning about herbs. As much as he despised the book, he knew that it was his only chance of saving his brother, so he sucked it up and kept reading.
"Hey." Sirius spoke softly, trying not to disturb you too much. He knew you would answer if you wanted to talk to him.
You hummed in acknowledgment but didn't raise your head from the book. He turned a little towards you and spoke.
"You've lived for a long time, right?"
"Yes."
"Did you really have no visitors before me?"
"No."
"Weren't you lonely?"
At this, you paused and looked up at him to see him watching you intently.
"Why do you ask?"
He turned back to his book, avoiding your gaze.
"I don't know. I don't even know why I'm talking about this. It's just….I can't begin to imagine living for five hundred years without interacting with anyone. And no, that cat doesn't count."
You laughed softly and Sirius felt himself smile automatically.
"Well, at times it was. But I've learned to live with it." You shrugged but Sirius still wasn't satisfied.
"Still, didn't you have a family?"
At this you tensed and Sirius immediately knew that he had asked the wrong question.
You closed your book and kept a tight grip on it, so tight that your knuckles had turned white.
"No. I didn't deserve it."
With that, you got up and left.
You didn't know what Sirius was doing to you. Maybe it had been lack of interaction or maybe you were too lonely, but you had somewhat grown fond of him.
He was a jerk and at times, infuriated you with his speech where he meant the opposite of what he said and was mean to your cat, Onyx. But still, you couldn't help but feel that there was a lonely soul inside him, one just like yours.
One night, he had fallen asleep on the makeshift sofa in the living room, if you could even call it that with everything strewn about, and his position looked quite uncomfortable. That book you asked him to read was open and he was also moving constantly, trying to find a good place to sleep.
You felt guilty, something you hadn't felt for a long time, seeing him struggling. You chewed your lip in contemplation for a moment, then sighed and made your way towards him.
Adjusting the cushions around him, you shifted him so that he didn't break his neck and took the book out of his hands. For a moment, you sat there, beside him, reading what you had written so long ago.
You brushed your fingers against the page, remembering how you found that particular plant and how much hassle it was to document it. Running your eyes through every bit of information, your heart yearned on seeing the smiley face drawn at the bottom, which was definitely not your doing.
The feeling of something pressing on your shoulder made you snap out of the memories and look beside you, only to see Sirius's body resting against your own, his head on your shoulder.
If it was the previous you, you would have been annoyed and pushed him off you without batting an eye. But now, you looked at him, as if seeing himself for the first time and noticed that his features looked soft, free from all burdens. The fact made you smile and you decided that you'll let this slide, just this once.
So with Sirius's body resting against your own, soft snores disturbing the quiet of the night, you wished that you could fall asleep as well.
You and Sirius were sitting side by side, watching the children playing in front of you. You both had just finished the laundry and were taking a breather before going back to your house.
You watched as a pair of young lovers held hands and giggled about something that only they could hear.
Sirius noticed the look of longing on your face and hesitantly asked.
"Do you wish we could be like that?"
You looked at him, tilting your head cutely and Sirius felt his cheeks burning up. Well technically, he knew that all these were Lancelot's reactions but he felt different this time. As if it were also his.
"Not really. I respect you and your wishes. I know what you have gone through must not have been easy and it has affected you. But I'm happy with what we currently have and will wait as long as you want."
Sirius felt that this Lancelot guy was a lucky man. He didn't know of his past but the way you looked at him, so mindful and so full of love, he knew that he was indeed very lucky to have you.
"I'll say it one day. I'll say it and see that beautiful smile of yours that you show only for me."
Somehow Sirius wasn't so sure if Lancelot would.
Sirius blinked sleepily, his hold tightening on the pillow. He frowned a bit, thinking his pillow didn't used to be so stiff. Running his hands all over, he patted it to make it fluffy.
"Move your hand one more time and I'll kill you."
Why was he hearing your voice? Yawning, he opened his eyes, only to see your enraged face, inches from his own.
He scrambled away from you in such a hurry that he hit his knee on one of the stools and yelped in pain. You were sitting there, scowling at him and he felt as if he had committed an unforgivable crime.
"I'm sorry- I didn't- couldn't-" He fumbled around with words, not knowing what to say. You just stared at him and he felt increasingly uncomfortable.
"Do you have nightmares?"
"What?"
That was the last thing he expected you to say. He thought you would scream at him or perhaps curse him but asking about his well being?
"Uh, no-not really."
Even to his own ears, he sounded unsure. You looked at him a few more moments, as if seeing inside his soul, and then got up.
"Well, if nothing's wrong, we need to get started on the other three herbs today."
We.
Sirius felt as if maybe, just maybe, you had warmed up to him too.
You were feeling strange around Sirius. He annoyed you but at the same time, you liked it. You liked that he actually bothered to interact with you, even if it were small conversations.
The last time you were like this was with Lancelot and everyone knew how that ended. After all, you were still here, waiting. Sirius also seemed more comfortable around you. In the beginning, he used to walk on eggshells around you but now you had this weird teasing dynamic.
You loved to make him flustered and he loved to make you lose your temper. It was refreshing. But you had to remind yourself of the reality. He was just here to get a potion. As soon as he got it, he would leave at the first chance he gets. He has a family, people who love him.
You were always destined to be alone in the end. That was your punishment.
"Can I tell you something?" Sirius stood near the door, leaning against the wall.
You gave him a side eye which he knew was the signal to continue. Honestly, Sirius was starting to know you too well.
"I've been having weird dreams."
You looked up at him, seeing his brows furrowed and looking straight ahead.
"At least I think so," he mumbled the last part quietly.
"What kind of dreams?"
He sighed and bit his lip, seeming to think for a moment.
"Uh well, I think they are about you."
You raised an eyebrow.
"Think?"
He fumbled with his hands, avoiding your gaze.
"I never remember the dream but I do remember you. You're always there at first. Your clothes are like what you wear now but you have really old fashioned hairstyles. And I always wake up with a headache after having it."
You were concerned now. This wasn't something normal. And why would he have dreams about you in the first place?
You pondered for a few moments before answering him.
"I don't know why you're having these dreams but I'll look into it. There are a lot of books here and I'm sure I'll find the right answer."
He seemed relieved at this and gave you a smile.
"Thank you."
You gave one back, without hesitation.
Another month passed and Sirius had grown all the plants required for making the potion. You had provided him with the crystals and charms needed and basically, everything was ready to start making it.
Sirius gulped as the water started to boil and you looked at it intensely.
"Okay, it's the perfect temperature. Now add the Red Rest in it."
Sirius stared at you, confused.
"The what?"
You sighed.
"The red plant."
"Oh, okay."
He picked one up and dropped it in the cauldron, watching in fascination as the water turned blue.
"Is-is that supposed to happen?"
You simply nodded and looked at the charms. Little by little, you guided him to add the right quantity of every element and reminded him to keep stirring it with the ladle.
After about two hours, you had gone through the entire process and the potion should have been ready. Except–
"It's wrong." You shook your head.
Sirius was puzzled.
"What? But we did everything according to your recipe. It should have worked."
Only then did you notice that an extra leaf of mint was missing from the ingredients.
You looked at him sympathetically.
"Potion making is a delicate art. One wrong step and your medicine can turn into poison. We'll have to do it again."
And that's why Sirius had been trying for the past three days to make the potion perfect but it just wasn't happening.
He threw the ladle in frustration as you calmly stood there, watching his outburst.
"That's it! I'm done."
He left and you could only look at his retreating back sadly.
"I'm not touching it again."
Sirius spoke as soon as you sat beside him on the ground. He had come outside to calm his mind and just listen to the sound of nature.
You waited a few minutes before speaking.
"I used to be a bad person. Very bad. People used to come to me to buy powerful potions. Potions that weren't always used to cure. Death potions are easy to make but their components are harder to find."
Sirius looked at you out of the corner of his eye but you were looking ahead, eyes unfocused, seemingly lost in a distant memory.
"And I used to be fine doing it. As long as I got paid, nothing was off the table. My potions were used to assassinate the greatest of the kings and the filthiest of the criminals."
"Then one day, I was hunting for a horse to put his rib in a potion. I saw a white one, shot an arrow and it fell."
Sirius was now completely turned towards you, hanging onto your every word. Your hands were clenched together to prevent them from shaking but you continued nonetheless.
"Turns out, it was a unicorn. And unicorns are the most sacred of creatures. Anyone who kills a unicorn will have a cursed life and that's exactly what happened with me."
He gasped softly and you sighed.
"That's when I realised what I had been doing and what I should do. I tried to change and for a while it worked. Someone came along and he helped me to accept my mistakes and more forward. I started thinking that the curse wasn't with me anymore but I was wrong."
"In just one night, I got everything stolen from me, every happiness taken and at that time I realised that the curse was never broken. It just happened at a later time to make me realise what I had lost."
Sirius didn't comment on the tears trailing down your cheeks. He silently watched as you relived the painful memories.
"What I'm trying to say is, no matter what you do, you couldn't fuck up as badly as I did. So don't stop trying. Your brother needs you."
As you faced him, Sirius swore he had never met anyone as brave as you.
You hadn't meant to blurt it all out in front of Sirius but you just couldn't let him give up. Besides, you had come to terms with what happened and realised that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
A while back, when Sirius told you of his dream problem, you had searched through all of the ancient texts you had and there was only one thing that made sense.
You didn't want to believe it. You've never heard of anything like it happening but Sirius….he was here, wasn't he?
You could hear the sound of fire and water boiling. Seems like what you told him did have an impact.
A few days went by and Sirius was beginning to lose hope. But you were so gentle with him, so helpful that he didn't want to give up. Besides, this was going to save James' life. So he began making it once again.
"No! Lancelot!"
You screamed as three men held you back and two kept Sirius in his place.
He was panicking, not knowing what was happening. It seemed that these men were trying to hurt you both.
"Stop! Don't touch her!" Sirius found himself shouting, desperate to reach you. He didn't care if it was him or Lancelot, he just wanted to protect you.
One of the men slapped you harshly and you whimpered. Sirius tried resisting but these men were strong, most probably soldiers if he had to guess.
"You're going to die, witch. And so will your little toy." The one who looked to be their leader, forced you to look at him and his heart ached on seeing the tears which were running down your cheeks.
"No! Not him. Please, he didn't do anything wrong." You begged but the men just laughed.
"Don't worry about me, love. Take them out. I know you can do it," Sirius said and the men's hold tightened on him.
"You do that and we'll make sure to slice him to pieces. You can't be foolish enough to think that you can take five of us at the same time." One of them sneered and he saw resignation on your face.
They knew they had you.
"Just please, please let him go. I'll come quietly and won't offer any resistance." You were avoiding eye contact with Sirius and he started struggling more as he heard you.
"No! You can't–"
A swift punch to the jaw interrupted him and you squeezed your eyes in pain.
"I'll do anything. Just, let him leave."
The men looked at you for a few seconds before smiling.
"Sure! Take him away." The leader gestured to the men holding Sirius.
He yelled and yelled but you didn't look at him. Your gaze was on the ground and the leader crouched down to look at you in the eyes.
"I'll come find you! Wait for me!" He screamed as he was dragged away, struggling and you cried, nodding with a sad smile.
"You're really naive you know?"
"I did it! I think I did it!"
Sirius's shout contained so much happiness that you wished that he really did. With a large smile on his face, he dragged you to the cauldron so that you could confirm it.
He chewed his lip anxiously as you inspected it, inhaling its scent and checking its color. When you had thoroughly inspected it, you looked to Sirius with a smirk and he immediately erupted in cheers.
"Yes! Yes! I did it! Oh my gosh, I did it!"
He hugged you first, almost squeezing you to death and even hugged Onyx who, for the first time, didn't hiss at him.
You were smiling seeing him dancing around but knew that he was going to leave soon.
"I need to get this to James." But as soon as he realised what that meant, he looked at you in worry.
"Will you be okay here?" He asked hesitantly and you smiled.
"Of course. I've lived alone for a few centuries. I think I can handle some stray hunters." Your smile seemed amused but your eyes were a completely different story.
"I'll be back for you. I can show you the current world and help you get an apartment or something," Sirius said as he stood outside your door, backpack containing the painstakingly made potion, looking at you.
You laughed softly.
"Aw, it seems you became attached. Don't worry about me, darling. I'll be fine here."
He looked into your eyes deeply, searching for what you were truly feeling but when it didn't do him any good, he sighed wearily.
"I'll be back." His stern eyes made you laugh yet again and he softened.
"All right, all right. Now go. Before it gets dark and you get scared."
Sirius scowled mockingly but broke into a smile soon. He even pet Onyx who licked his hand and got ready to leave.
"Goodbye, Sirius."
His throat had closed up before he could form a reply.
Everyone was stunned as they watched James' recovery but Sirius was the only one who knew the reason.
His friends had cried tears of joy and the healers told him how lucky they were. As much as he was relieved, knowing that the potion really worked, he felt a sort of heaviness in his heart.
He missed you. A lot.
Sure, you two didn't go along in the beginning, but Sirius really admired you later. You were this amazing person that had gone through so much and still continued on, despite everything.
It came to a point that he couldn't even focus on his missions. Every thought was focused around you. Everything reminded him of you. Thinking what you would say or how you would react. He knew what this was but was it right? You were this amazing and powerful witch and he was just….him.
But it had boiled to a point where he just couldn't sit like this. He had to tell you, no matter your response. He had to get it out and besides, you had a right to know too.
So once again, he took his backpack and headed for the woods.
"I love you."
You looked at Sirius in shock.
You were arranging all the books when you heard the door open and rushed footsteps coming towards you. Searching all over until they found you.
He was sweating, out of breath, hair all over the place and clothes that looked like he had never washed them in his entire life. Did he really rush all the way to your cottage? To tell you that he loved you?
Yet, as you looked at him, the only thing you could notice was his expression, which was the softest you had ever seen and his eyes, that spoke of everything he couldn't say.
"Sirius…" you trailed off as he removed his outer jacket, caked with mud from falling so much while coming here. You knew because you had been watching him as soon as he entered the woods.
"I don't know when it happened, or how, but I do know this. I'm utterly and hopelessly in love with you, you stupid witch."
You laughed, tearing up a little as he continued.
"I know you're not perfect and hell, neither am I. But I know the person you are now. I don't care about what you did in the past or who you loved,"
His eyes wavered as he said the last bit but your blinding smile and watery eyes gave him the courage to speak his mind, as he came towards you and gripped your hands in his.
"I don't care how cold your skin is, or how much you love teasing me. I know that I'll endure it, as long as it means I can be with you."
You chuckled softly, tears flowing in a single trail from your eyes.
"Took you long enough."
Sirius's excited smile faded as you collapsed in his arms.
He called out your name, desperation clear in his voice, not knowing what was wrong with you. His heart was beating a mile per minute. He just confessed to you and here you were, collapsed against him. Did you have a thing against confessions?
"What's happening?"
Sirius was the only thing keeping you upright, as he sank to the floor when he felt that you couldn't stand up. He agitatedly scanned your face, noting that a thin sheen of sweat had begun covering it.
You could barely keep your eyes open but there was a serene smile on your face and if he were to be completely honest, it was scaring Sirius.
He patted your cheek gently, trying to make you look at him. When you did, he looked at you in worry but you didn't miss the questioning gleam in his eyes.
"I had such a great time with you, Sirius. You taught me how to be human again. How to make mistakes, how to correct them."
Sirius's brows furrowed. Your words were not reassuring at all and he felt a terrible foreboding in them.
"Why are you-" he couldn't complete his sentence, as you shushed him, trying to find the words that you had wanted to speak for so long but now physically couldn't.
"Most importantly, you taught me that I could love again. I never thought I could do it, but you…"
You trailed off, weakly raising your hand to cup his cheek as he leaned into your touch, grabbing your hand that was on his cheek. His troubled eyes met your pain filled ones and he couldn't bring himself to say anything.
"You're an enigma, my love."
And all at once, Sirius knew.
The memories of those dreams came rushing back and he gasped as he remembered everything. Every touch, every caress, every kiss, every smile, everything.
All the weird headaches he'd been having since coming here, where he got the feeling that a dream was about you but couldn't remember the details, why they suddenly stopped. He knew.
You could see the realisation dawn on him and smiled softly.
"I love you too, Sirius."
"I'm Lancelot…." He whispered, looking back to see you nodding weakly.
"You are. You're his reincarnation, sharing the same soul."
He looked like he had trouble processing everything that was happening. You, practically dying in his arms, wasn't helping either.
"I never wanted you to know. I wanted you to live your life freely, not knowing about me."
"Did you know? Is this why…?" You read the hurt on his face and knew what he wanted to ask.
"No, Sirius I –"
A violent cough stopped you from speaking and Sirius concernedly shifted you in his arms. Your skin was cold, even colder than before.
"I didn't know. Not until you said that you'd been having weird dreams that you couldn't exactly remember. But even then, I had no plans to fall in love with you."
Sirius now knew that, that's why the dreams had stopped suddenly. They had stopped the day he had fallen in love with you.
"If only you weren't so charming and brave and sacrificing." He laughed shakily at your words and you closed your eyes momentarily.
"Hey, hey. Eyes on me." Sirius caressed your cheek gently, his own eyes filled with tears at your worsening condition, making you look at him once again.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't keep our promise."
"What? No, you did. You're here and so am I. We both fulfilled our promises. And-and we'll have a wonderful life ahead, with-"
He stopped speaking as your body started to turn translucent. The tears that he had been suppressing till now were flowing freely.
"What's happening?! What is happening to you, you stupid witch!" He sobbed, reaching out for you, when you untangled yourself from him and took a shaky breath, removing your outer jacket.
Sirius only looked at you silently as you proceeded to tear your gown from the midsection, trying to show him how horribly you had failed at keeping your promise.
His eyes widened in horror as he stared at the gaping hole in your stomach, smeared with blood as if someone had driven a knife through you. No, it was too big to be a knife, it was almost as big as a–
"I died in the middle ages."
–sword.
You were crying, eyes red and body struggling with the effort to keep sitting.
Sirius scrambled towards you, still on his knees and pulled you to his chest, sobbing his heart out, now that he knew. He couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it. You were real. He was holding you in his arms, for god's sake! But as your form began to glow, even more translucent than before, he still didn't want to accept it.
"It's not fair. It's not fair!" He screamed, throat hoarse from crying so much and you were in the same condition.
Somehow, by making yourself lean onto him, you pushed up to his eye level and held his face with trembling hands. His angry and mournful gaze met your sad and accepting one.
"How could you do this? Knowing this will happen. How could you make me fall in love with you." He whispered, voice filled with agony that only made you cry more.
"It's my fault. It's all my fault. I couldn't keep our promise. I promised to wait for you but I couldn't fight them off. I tried my best, I really did. But there were just so many-"
A gasp cut you off and Sirius opened his eyes in panic, which he had closed when you started speaking, only to see you having trouble breathing.
"I-I can't. Sirius- go. I have- to go."
It was getting colder, you were losing all senses, the spell you had casted on yourself five hundred years ago was breaking. And taking you with it.
Sirius held your face in his hands when yours fell, limp at your side.
"What do I do?! Tell me, h-how can I help?" His choked up voice was the only thing on your mind and with great effort, you spoke your final words, barely a whisper.
"Kiss me."
Sirius weeped, trying to keep himself from breaking down any further and connected his lips to yours in a desperate kiss. He felt you respond weakly, only for a second, before you stopped moving and Sirius cried only harder.
Your foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, he tried to savour one last moment together, one last promise but you were already gone. Fading completely from his arms and he had no desire to open his eyes.
He curled up on the floor and kept crying his heart out until he had used up all his tears and had no voice to cry. Opening his eyes, he found himself in the ruins of your home. What was once a warm little cottage, looked as if it had been destroyed for a long time.
Sirius slowly got up, looking around your home, the home he had spent the best three months of his life in. The garden was never there, it was all a patch of overgrown weeds and stray branches.
Nothing remained, except a euphoric feeling of what once was and dread of what never could be. As he began to take a step forward, something caught on his foot and he looked down to see a single potted plant, glowing in the moonlight.
He had never read about a bioluminescent plant in that stupid book of yours, the thought of which had him tearing up once again. He blinked back the tears and grabbed the pot, looking at the white flower, glowing with a soft blue hue.
He looked around but there was no one in the vicinity, only the woods. Considering it a last, parting gift from you, he gingerly held it in one hand and looked at the ruins of your home one last time.
"You kept your promise, love and I finally completed mine."