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There's always something in the way Alvin’s eyes dart aside, even at the simplest of questions. Always something in the way he keeps himself at a distance and always something in the way his lips upturn with his smiles. He’s good at hiding in plain sight. That much Jude knows well. It isn’t just those little things, either; when they’re linked together, he can sense it there too. Alvin’s intentions are nothing if not buried. Even if he’s transparent in his battle strategy so much gets blocked off from what Jude can feel when their minds are linked in combat. The milieu of their thoughts intertwine and sway together, little thoughts melting together like snowflakes on Jude’s eyelashes. His morbid curiosity has brought him to the point of almost always linking with Alvin during their fights--whenever he can, actually, and neither of them seem to be willing to stop this game of looking deeply into each other’s intentions, thoughts, warm fuzzy feelings with no names. Jude can’t stop himself, and Alvin certainly won’t be stopping him.
Of course, there’s only so much Alvin can take of this little ‘game.’ He’s always thought of himself as having at least an ounce of willpower, but this many months, this much time of fighting together and being so close to one another is starting to wear his resolve down. It’s not like he wasn’t already wracked with thoughts of a salacious nature; he’d wanted to get his hands on Jude the moment he saw him with Milla that fateful day. Rather, he’s gotten pretty good at pretending the sight of him didn’t make him want to do terrible things. Burying those feelings is nothing new, he buries the rest of his emotions easily enough. But being linked to Jude and noticing just how open he really is, just how trusting he really is (even after Sharilton; even after his ‘confession’ of his ties with Exodus) makes this so much harder.
As they head into the inn for the night, Alvin finds himself having a conflict he knows far too well. Usually his more reasonable side wins and he slinks into his own room to ‘think’ about those feelings on his own. Other times he catches himself hovering by Jude’s door. He hasn’t gotten caught yet, but he knows if he keeps doing it he’s going to run out of luck sooner rather than later. Tonight is one of those nights. Everyone else has retired rather early; Xian Du always seems to get darker earlier than other places and only Alvin is really used to that spirit clime. So it’s not likely anybody worth worrying about seeing this could see it. What he expects to gain from loitering like this, he doesn’t know. But the amount of times he’s done it is embarrassing enough on its own; thinking about the ‘why’ is too much.
He listens. Jude isn’t doing much tonight, idly reading in the dim lantern light of the inn room--he can hear the pages turn in the quiet of the building. As studious as ever, Alvin thinks, lips turning up into his usual smile. As he leans against the wall he listens closely, eyes falling shut momentarily. He shouldn’t be doing this, not even a little bit. If he ought to be doing any sneaking around it should be unto Milla, not the pipsqueak he’s finding himself so inclined towards thinking about. But Jude lets his guard down so easily at night, at the inns they stay in. How could he miss out on such a prime opportunity to listen in on his favorite honors student? The higher-ups wouldn’t understand, but Alvin can’t find it in himself to care much.
Every other time this is easy. Linger for a little while, go right back to his own room. Simple. But tonight is… different. Something’s different and even if he can’t pinpoint it he can definitely feel it; like a crack in his willpower. He’s not completely sure he can do this again, not as easily as he always does. It’s the way his arms uncross and the way he’s finding himself snaking an arm to the doorknob. It’s the way the voice inside him that usually stops him from doing such a stupid thing silences all of a sudden. He stops himself barely centimeters away from the knob, hesitating and swallowing down nerves he wasn’t sure he could have.
This would be a bad choice. A very, very bad choice.
Even as he searches himself for a motivation to stop he can only think that he shouldn’t get attached. The rest comes up blank. He doesn’t fight back when his hand grabs the knob and turns.
The noise shocks Jude enough that he almost tosses the book aside, his eyes huge.
“Alvin! What are you doing?!” He almost sounds angry, but a rather ineffectual kind of anger. Alvin grins a little bit as he steps in, shutting the door behind himself. A terrible decision. But he ignores that thought and catches Jude’s eyes momentarily. Jude’s dressed for bed, a tank top and shorts that show so much skin it makes Alvin’s heart race.
“Oh, nothing really. Just had something I wanted to ask you,” he lies through his teeth. It’s not completely a lie. But it’s certainly worthy of much more than ‘nothing’.
“I don’t know what you thought you couldn’t have asked if you’d knocked,” Jude responds in turn, his frown one of clear surprise, rather than true anger. Alvin doesn’t know whether that makes him feel better or worse about what he’s doing.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” He lies once more, shrugging off his coat and hanging it onto the hooks by the door. “Just couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it. Maybe I got carried away, but what can I say? I wanted to know.” Jude sighs out and folds a bookmark into the page he managed to recall he was on and sets the book onto his bedside table.
“It’s not like knocking would have slowed you down more than a few seconds, Alvin.” Jude sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is it really something so important?”
“A few seconds can feel like a lifetime.” Alvin says, kicking his shoes off and moving towards Jude.
“Obviously not a long enough life, if you’ve got time to get comfortable here before you ask.” Jude retorts. “Or did you forget we paid for separate rooms this time? I’m not trading mine.” Alvin smirks at the thought, now about a foot away. The apprehension shows plainly on Jude’s face at the closeness almost too late as he leans himself against the headboard, hovering right above Jude, close enough to touch.
“Nothing like that.” He says, his tone soft, lips still curled into that smirk. Jude tries to avert his eyes, but Alvin still doesn’t break the eye contact.
“Then… I don’t know what you want.” Jude says, his brow furrowed tight. Of course, he has a feeling of what it could be, but it doesn’t make him feel much better to think of it. Alvin’s smirk relaxes into his usual grin.
“Oh, I bet you do. You’re not as stealthy as you think you are, Jude.” Alvin takes his free hand and cups Jude’s cheek, forcing him to look him in the eyes at last. Jude can feel his heart pound beneath his fingers. “Do you really think you hid it well?”
“Hid... what? I’m not--” Jude starts, but Alvin interrupts him.
“Kid. Please. We’ve been linked nonstop since the day we met.” Alvin’s lips curl back into the smirk and he almost closes the distance between their lips. Almost. But he holds strong to tease Jude just a little bit more. Jude swallows down his nerves, eyes clearly desperate to look away when he’s caught in the act like this. It isn’t as if Alvin is pulling this out of thin air, after all--he’s absolutely been thinking thoughts he shouldn’t while they’re linked. It really was only a matter of time until Alvin confronted him; even if he wished he wouldn’t.
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alvin. I link with you because you’re a reliable partner.” Jude says, his whole face flushed red. He’s obviously rehearsed this talk by how smoothly the lies fall out of his mouth. “We… fight well together.”
“Oh, sure, sure. I’m a real catch of a partner. But did you think I wouldn’t notice just how excited you get when your blood starts pumping? You sure do like to be close to me....” Alvin purrs, his fingers tightening just slightly at Jude’s jawline. “You always stay so close after every fight.”
“That’s… just… the heat of the moment…” Jude sputters. “A-And aren’t you the one who’s always leaning on me or touching me?!” Alvin snorts a laugh and grins at him.
“Maybe. Maybe there’s a reason for that.” He purrs. “Maybe I just can’t get enough of you.
“‘Course, if you really don’t want this…” Alvin backs off after a few seconds of nearly touching Jude’s lips, shrugging idly. Jude grips the sheets in his hands and heaves a sigh of what feels like a mix of relief and disappointment both. “I’ll head out, and we can just forget this little talk ever happened. Capiche?” As he turns, Jude grabs his sleeve before he can make much headway in his act of pretending to leave. With his face no longer visible to Jude, Alvin smirks devilishly in a sort of victory. His stomach flips in anticipation, despite himself.
“Wait. ...Please.” Jude mutters, his whole face red. Alvin chuckles and turns back to face him, eyebrow raised in amusement as step by step, he retakes his position over Jude once more. His body eclipses him completely, blocking the light from the dim lamp above their heads. Jude’s eyes meet Alvin’s one more time. “...I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Alvin isn’t sure what to say for a moment, his heart pounding at the thought. Of course he knew that--Jude is clearly obsessed with him but to hear it out loud is a different matter entirely.
“Is that so?” Alvin teases, but the look on his face is one of a sincere deep need that makes Jude’s own stomach flip. “What do you think about me, honors student?” His words are quieter now, hungry for more of this new ‘honesty about feelings’ thing Jude’s doing.
“I… Um, it’s…” Jude mutters, avoiding his eyes again out of sheepish nerves. “I don’t know… how to say it...” Jude laughs nervously, clearly regretting his admission.
“You don’t know?” Alvin laughs, leaning forward and pressing his hand to the headboard of the bed to be closer to Jude. I could stay like this forever. He thinks, a soft sigh on his lips. “Mm. I know why I think about you all the time.”
Alvin, in lieu of continuing this topic, can’t resist the throb in his heart and brings a finger to Jude’s chin to tip it up into a soft kiss. Jude’s lips are much softer than he’d ever hoped for. It takes a couple moments of hesitation before Jude brings his hands to Alvin’s hips, tracing over where his pants meet his tucked-in shirt, pulling him just a little bit closer--enough to encourage him quite a bit. Jude kisses like someone who’s never kissed a soul in his life, and Alvin expects no less--save for a little dark thought that just maybe he could be Jude’s first kiss. Me, of all people.
Alvin keeps his snicker at the thought to himself--he has no right to be anyone’s first anything, let alone Jude’s. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to scare Jude off; the fact that he’s returning the kiss at all is impressive in his book. Despite that concern, he’s not exactly courteous-he’s less than gentle when he presses Jude to the bed, but pulls back to let Jude break the kiss for a sharp breath of air. His eyes are so wide and sparkling that Alvin is almost taken aback by the sight. Jude lays beneath him in a daze, hands beside his head, head spinning at the new sensation he’s suddenly all too loathe to lose. Jude tosses his arms around Alvin’s neck all of a sudden and tugs him into a kiss again, much to Alvin’s pleasant surprise.
Jude’s real good at mimicking, it turns out, and he kisses the way Alvin did, gentle but still insistent. Having not expected this one bit, Alvin tries and fails to stifle a groan of pleasure into the kiss and wraps his arms tight around Jude, desperate to hold him as close as he possibly can. Jude’s lips are so soft, and it isn’t a long time before Alvin is testing his limits, gently nipping at his lips and pulling Jude’s hips snug against his own. It’s too easy to get carried away, and Alvin is kissing deeper in no time at all. He takes care not to clash their teeth but deeply kisses Jude, parting his lips to invade his mouth like a predator, hungry to taste as much of him as he can. Like it’s a dream that could escape at any moment. The second Jude ends it, he would leave. He swore that to himself, but the way Jude’s body squirms under his and his weak voice moans out against his lips is making it very hard to picture stopping any time soon.
When at last, he can’t take any more, Jude breaks the kiss and lets his head fall back, a weakened breath escaping his lips. They lay there, panting, tightly held in one another’s arms. Alvin licks his lips, savoring the taste of Jude’s saliva with a deep ache in his chest. This isn’t enough. It might never be enough again.
Regardless of the headrush at the reality of this, Alvin tries to just breathe in the moment. Jude’s hips are far too close to his own that it becomes apparent just how hard he’s become, and for only a moment he feels a wash of vague shame sweep over him--but Alvin’s good at ignoring his feelings. Instead of thinking any longer about whether or not he’s willing to cross this line he just pulls Jude right against him, rubbing their hips together with a weakened sigh, arms still tight around him.
Jude makes a soft gasp, clearly surprised, but doesn’t pull away, only exhaling a long sigh and rubbing himself back against Alvin’s body. Much to Alvin’s delight, Jude’s soaked, seeping through the fabric of his pants. Alvin shivers at the thought of being the cause of this, the idea of getting to feel that… all because of this bad, bad choice. He takes a moment to just enjoy the feeling of rutting against Jude’s warmth, purring into the crook of his neck.
“Jude… We can’t go back from this.” He whispers against his neck, making Jude shiver in turn. “...I’ve wanted to do this with you since I first saw you. I can’t fight it anymore and you’re going to have to stop me now if you want this to stop… Because I’m not going to be able to.” He pulls back to meet his eyes, a serious look in them, breaking his usual facade. Jude’s arms relax from around Alvin’s body, and he puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tight.
“I don’t think I could ever forgive you if you stopped now.” He admits, meeting his eyes with an equally sincere look. Alvin can feel his dick twitch with newfound hunger.
“Damn. Then I guess I’d better get to it, huh?” Jude’s forgiveness is something so sweet he’s found himself addicted, after all. Alvin takes a deep breath and pulls off of him, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and yanking it off, tossing it to the ground. “Can’t keep you waiting for everything.” He purrs and taps Jude’s nose with a coy smile on his lips. Jude looks positively ravenous, breathing hard underneath him. Alvin slips his fingers under the loose tank Jude’s wearing and tugs it up, pulling it off completely and idly smiling down at his toned chest. It’s easy to forget how strong Jude is when he’s fully clothed, but underneath his usual layers is the body of a seasoned martial artist. It’s too much of a turn-on for Alvin to resist putting his hands all over him, before remembering his gloves and peeling them off with his teeth, grumbling at the effort it takes. His cool hands make Jude jolt just a little, but he relaxes under the touch as Alvin slides them down his soft skin. He hooks his index fingers in the waistband of his shorts and looks at him expectantly. Jude can hardly look at him, but nods weakly and covers his eyes to give himself a moment of not having to face how fast the night has progressed.
Alvin’s careful as he pulls the pants free, exposing Jude’s body completely. He’s bright pink and cuter than Alvin ever expected. He exhales a short puff of air, biting his lip to keep from saying something stupid, and gently traces a finger over the soft pink lips. Jude squeaks at the foreign touch, covering his mouth sheepishly at such an embarrassing response. Alvin bites back another tease. This was definitely Jude’s first time. There’s no reason to be mean about it, he thinks, gently tracing the lips and waiting for a response. He’s slippery smooth and Alvin gently presses his thumb against the back of his entrance, rubbing just softly enough to acclimate him to the feeling. Jude stifles a weak moan at the sensation, hand over his mouth.
“So cute…” Alvin mutters under his breath, carefully going deeper with his thumb. In and out, gentle and slow, until Jude is left panting weakly and Alvin switches to his index finger, crooked carefully. Not too deep at first, then deeper, then to the knuckle and Jude is whimpering, his body curled into Alvin’s hand. Jude wraps his arms around Alvin’s neck in a needy hug, breath hot against his neck. Alvin tries another finger and it’s effortless, Jude takes him with complete ease and shudders out another moan Alvin is utterly delighted to hear. “God. You take it so well. Do you think you want more? I’m not exactly, um, beginner sized… but I can’t resist how tight you’re grabbing me...” He purrs, rocking his fingers into Jude. Jude is a little bit busy moaning at the sensation--he’d certainly masturbated before but this kind of intensity is clearly foreign to him. Despite that, he centers himself as best he can.
“I… want to try.” He says, between another moan. Alvin pops his fingers out and sighs, bringing the fingers to his lips to taste Jude’s pussy. Another time, maybe, he thinks, licking them clean as Jude watches, utterly embarrassed and desperate for more. “Please, Alvin… I need it…” He begs, covering his face with his arm. How could Alvin ever deny him?
Having already tugged his own pants off by the time Jude’s asked, Alvin holds his cock, giving it a few rubs greedily at the sight of Jude splayed out before him. He certainly isn’t kidding about his size, either, and Jude marvels at the monster between his legs. It’s positively throbbing and Alvin grabs Jude’s hips, his shaft rubbing against the entrance of Jude’s aching pussy. They slide against each other so easily, the sensation is heady but not enough for either of them. Jude grasps at Alvin’s shoulder, wordlessly begging for him. Alvin’s never been so eager to please in his whole life. He adjusts and rests the head of his cock against the entrance, lining it up and pressing into him slowly at first--but then Jude wraps his legs around him and cuts out the middleman of the slow approach, dragging Alvin deeper into him. Alvin catches his breath, the warmth overwhelming him and leaving him panting on top of Jude, who tightens his legs with a long sigh of need. It’s so deep he can hardly think but he can’t let him pull out, not yet. It feels too good for him to even be able to speak, the muscles twitching together in a way Alvin is positive he’s never going to forget. He adjusts enough to get comfortable again, pulling Jude’s body closer so he’s more comfortable as well, then starts to move. Jude’s body twitches and so do the muscles around Alvin’s dick, making him move faster in a desperate need to feel more, ever more.
“Hhh god, Jude, you’re so fucking warm…” Alvin mumbles, unable to resist the urge to thrust deeper into him, in and out like it’s driving him crazy. Jude takes the thrusts much better than he’d anticipated, mouth agape at the feeling of being split in two. “God, you’re such a fucking champ, taking me all in one go… Who are you trying to impress?” He gives a wolfish grin and digs his fingers into Jude’s hips, enjoying the pace greedily. It’s been a long time coming that he gets to finally hold Jude down and fuck the daylights out of him, all of that teasing has made Alvin antsy for the real thing. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had sex, let alone enjoyed it. But that doesn’t really matter anymore, not with Jude writhing under him, hand over his lips to try and stifle the moans that shake out. Alvin isn’t having that, though, and grabs his hands to press them against the bed. Jude meets his eyes in the action, mouth agape in surprise and embarrassment.
“C’mon, Jude, who’s gonna hear? Me?” Alvin purrs, keeping his pace. He laughs out loud, sliding his fingers up Jude’s hands and grasping them tight, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tight. Jude squeezes right back. Nothing lasts forever, though, and having freed Jude’s moans Alvin can feel his limit reaching. As much as Alvin’s instincts are to be more irresponsible than he already is, he tugs himself out just before he finishes, covering Jude’s lower half with cum. He’s left panting, but pulls back to survey the scene, dick still twitching with the sensation of Jude still lingering. He whistles, feeling more than a little proud at the sight, but pushes himself up (with some difficulty, his legs feel positively like jelly) to head for the restroom. Jude squirms, covering his face once more now that he’s freed.
“Please don’t take too long…” He groans, trying his best not to move and ruin the sheets.
“Yeah, yeah, hold on.” Alvin gripes, but he hurries himself anyways and fetches a towel for the beleaguered bottom. He rushes back over and cleans him up, using the wet towel with careful strokes. It’s not like he hasn’t done this before, simply in stranger circumstances. Here he’s faced with his actions in a very real way and he takes a second to breathe, hoping Jude isn’t rethinking this whole thing after all that. He tilts his head to the side, face red. “Do you… eh, need anything…?” Jude’s not sure he’s seen Alvin so sheepish before.
“Um… I’ve only ever masturbated… so…” Jude mutters, feeling his own face redden. “I don’t really know. I kind of… don’t even know what I’m doing with… that. I… need a second.” Fair enough, Alvin thinks, parking himself at Jude’s side and dragging him into a hug, one Jude’s clearly surprised by.
“No pressure, honors student.” He says, stroking Jude’s hair. “I think you can just take a break, how about that?” He smirks down at him, but the look in his eyes is different than what Jude is used to. He seems different as a whole, downright tender. Jude doesn’t question it and simply leans into the hand at his head, feeling warm and yet keenly aware of the change in atmosphere between them. It feels right.