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X-Rated Shenanigans

Summary:

Everyone’s feeling the love on the night of Lydia’s big celebration!

Notes:

It's my writing day over at 1 million words but I'm not feeling it today. Found out yesterday that my former father in law passed away (not covid related), so I've been trying to spend some time with my youngest daughter. However, she's off chatting to her online friends, so I managed to do the first part of the Keeping Up with the Hales party and thought you guys might like having something from me!

Hopefully, the second part should be out by the weekend!

Skargasm
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Chapter 1: Matchmaking

Chapter Text

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“When I said you could escort me, I didn’t expect you to bring a date of your own!” Lydia said, giving Ethan a sharp look.

“Do I really have to wear this damned tie?” Stiles replied, tugging at the tight knot Lydia had created. He couldn’t argue with the suit she had made it buy – it was bright enough to appeal to his love of colour, and he liked the monochrome look of the whole thing, but the tie felt like a bit much.

“Yes you do!” They stepped into the reception of the Hilton and Stiles looked around, realising that Lydia was probably right about the level of sartorial elegance required. Somehow, her little celebration had turned into a major social event, and Laura had taken over organising it as she explained that it was much easier than handing it over to Stiles. He didn’t mind – Lydia deserved all the celebrations for her achievements and he had been busy worrying about the situation with Peter to give it his full attention. And he was second-guessing having Ethan as a date.

“I’m not exactly his date,” Ethan said, heading towards the room where the noticeboards said the Hale Party was being held. “I kinda crashed this whole thing to be honest – I was hoping to spend a bit of time with Danny and I understand he’s going to be in attendance.”

“Danny? OH! You’re that Ethan!” Lydia said, tucking her hand into the crook of Ethan’s elbow. “Well you should have said so straight away!”

“Does that mean I’m off the hook?” Stiles said, trailing along behind them and trying not to gawk at the expensive decorations.

“Not exactly – but you are partly forgiven. It depends on who this blind date you’ve set me up with is.”

“It’s not a blind date,” Stiles protested. “It’s just someone who I think you would get on with.”

“Can I finally ask who?” Lydia said and Stiles smiled when the first person he spotted in the extremely elaborate room was Derek. His friend looked grumpy as fuck in a dark suit, a glass of champagne in his hand as he watched the door.

“Hang on – I just need to end someone’s torture.”

“Makes a change for you to be ending someone’s torture,” he heard Lydia say as he made his way across the marble floor towards Derek.

“Dude! You look nice – apart from the murder-scowl!”

“Stiles – “

“No, seriously, you scrub up well! And – just to show that I’m a nice person really, I can confirm that Jackson will be here shortly!”

“He will?” Instantly Derek’s scowl disappeared, a charming expression of hope and insecurity crossing his face.

“He will. And I’ve made damned sure that he knows that I have zero designs on your person – which I have tried to do in the past but he’s finally decided to believe me!”

“I’m really sorry about – “

“Nah – forget it! Wires get crossed in the best romances and watching you two fumble around each other has been hilarious! Almost as funny as watching Scott try to wrangle puppies!”

“Thanks – I think.” Stiles realised he’d lost Derek’s attention and turned to see that Jackson had arrived. His best friend was dressed to impress in a deep burgundy velvet suit, the shirt a precise match, and the knot of his tie looking even more complex than the one Lydia had inflicted on Stiles. Jackson looked around the room, his best imperious expression on his face, although it didn’t fool Stiles in the slightest. He knew Jackson was feeling insecure about the evening and he was determined that the two assholes were not going to fuck this up.

“Jax – over here!” Jackson looked over at Stiles’ shout, squaring his shoulders as he made his way over to the duo. “Right – do not fuck this up, Derek! I know for a fact that he likes you – a lot – and you need to just man up and – “

His words came to a stuttering halt when as soon as Jackson reached them, Derek pulled him into his arms and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him. Jackson showed absolutely no signs of protesting, wrapping his arms around Derek’s neck and returning his kisses with fervour.

“Oh, well – I’ll just – leave you guys to it and – maybe you might want to consider getting a room?” Stiles said. Neither of them acknowledged his words and he shrugged, a huge grin crossing his face. That had been far easier than he had ever hoped it would be. Although he did think if they carried on for much longer, they really should get a room because things seemed to be heading into territory best kept out of the public eye if you didn’t want to be arrested for indecent exposure.

With gentle hands, he guided the kissing pair backwards until they were at least not the first thing anyone would see, managing to manoeuvre them into an alcove and pull a curtain across so that they had some semblance of privacy. Job done, for the time being, he turned and made his way to the bar where Lydia and Ethan were deciding what to drink.

“Was that Jackson?” Lydia asked, peering over Stiles’ shoulder and trying to see what was happening behind the curtains.

“It was – and my best friend’s duties are complete with regard to him. And that makes me one up in the matchmaking stakes – if one of them was female, I’d laid bets on a pregnancy before the night is through!” Stiles replied, causing Ethan to snort out loud and Lydia to slap him on the arm.

“You can be so uncouth!” she said, turning back towards the bar. One of the bartenders appeared as if by magic, eager to please. “I’ll have a grey goose Martini please, three olives.”

“Not the champagne?” Stiles asked, leaning against the side of the bar whilst the bartender disappeared to fulfil Lydia’s order.

“Nope – I’m preparing myself for whoever you’ve decided to try and set me up with,” she replied.

“I’m wounded! After seeing my success with Derek and Jackson, how could you possibly doubt me?” Stiles said, sliding sideways to avoid the slap Lydia aimed in his direction.


“So, where’s your puppy then?” Spike asked, taking a swig from the bottle of Jack Daniels he had somehow swiped from behind the bar. Peter looked around the room, finally spotting Stiles at the bar with Lydia and a man he thought looked vaguely familiar.

“Over by the bar – cobalt blue suit,” he finally said, knowing that Spike wouldn’t give up until Peter had told him.

“Pretty!” Spike said, grinning at Peter. “Although who’s the bloke he’s with?”

“I don’t know,” Peter replied shortly, trying to dredge the information from his memory. “I feel like I know him from somewhere.”

“To be fair, if he’s a supernatural you probably do. You Hales have your fingers in a lot of pies,” Spike said, looking around the room. “For someone who prefers to remain in the background, your sister does a good job of making sure you lot stay on top of things.”

“Indeed,” Peter said. “I remember him now – he’s one of the alpha twins.”

“Rival?”

“I’m not sure,” Peter said, scowling slightly. He knew he had made a point of letting Stiles know on several occasions that they were not suited to being a couple but somehow, he hadn’t expected him to bring a date. It was disconcerting just how badly it affected his equilibrium.

“Don’t look now but your sparkly blues are showing,” Spike said and Peter blinked and tried to regain control. “You gonna go over there?”

“I don’t think – “ As the two of them watched, two young men entered the room and headed directly towards Stiles, Lydia and the twin. One of them engulfed Stiles in a manly hug, whilst the other went directly to the twin.

“Let’s get a bit closer so we can hear properly, shall we?” Spike said, grabbing Peter by the arm and giving him no opportunity to escape. Fortunately, the crowd at the bar had got busier so it was possible for them to still be slightly circumspect – they could hear what was being said but were not immediately obvious in their observations.

“ – I didn’t realise you were going to be here!!”

“Well, when I met Stiles and he said you were going to be in attendance, I couldn’t afford to miss the opportunity!” the twin replied, one arm going possessively around the tall young man.

“Ethan – “

“Don’t try to pretend you’re not interested, Danny, because I won’t believe you! Come on – let’s see if we can find a table where we can sit and chat – I keep telling you, being with me doesn’t mean you have to give up your desire to hack the entire world!”

“Well, that’s one gone but now there’s another one,” Spike said.

“Thank you, yes I had noticed the gentleman was still hugging Stiles!” Peter replied, trying to keep his voice calm.

As they watched, Stiles finally pulled out of the embrace and turned to face Lydia who had been patiently watching the two men. Lydia and the man shook hands and it was obvious that there was a ‘zing’ of awareness as soon as they touched.

“Oh ho, looks like the field might be clear! Although I don’t know what’s in the air tonight, but everyone seems to be getting a might frisky! Makes me wish Cordelia was here,” Stiles said and Peter glanced around to see that his friend was indeed correct. Everyone seemed to be getting very friendly with everyone else in a manner that Peter had never seen displayed before. Across the room, Talia and Noah Stilinski were deep in conversation which in itself wasn’t unusual, but they were holding hands. Peter could see Derek dragging someone behind him out of the room, and Laura was being pressed up against the wall by Kali in an aggressive display of passion that was more than out of place in a public arena.

“Spike – can you see anyone not coupled up?” Peter said, his brain ticking over.

“Now you come to mention it, we’re the only ones – apart from your boy over there – who seem to be showing any control whatsoever! And that can’t be right – I am most certainly not the poster boy for control!” Spike replied, putting down the Jack Daniels bottle as he seemed to realise the seriousness of the situation. “What the fuck is going on?”