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Maryse walks Magnus down the aisle and the crowd hushes.
She knows most of the Shadowhunters attending the wedding must be staring but she keeps walking with her head held high and her gaze forward, eyes on Alec.
He is waiting at the altar and he's never looked so radiant. He smiles at them both, his eyes lingering on her and she can read the pride and the gratitude in there, underneath the sheer happiness.
Her son has always been smart and he knows that walking Magnus down the aisle goes beyond the statement she's making to the Clave. He knows it means acceptance and welcoming Magnus into the family as one of her own. Alec knows it and he is proud of her, Maryse can tell. The thought brings tears to her eyes because Alec spent so much time seeking her approval and her pride in the past. A pride she always concealed in her attempt to push him harder, to make him do better. Pride he so freely shows when the situation is reversed.
Maryse knows her change of heart isn't enough to make up for a lifetime of wrongdoings but she's a selfish woman and she will take the forgiveness her boy is so candidly offering.
Magnus squeezes her arm when they reach their destination and she turns to face him for a cheek kiss but ends up hugging him instead, because he's thanking her and she should be the one showing gratitude for being allowed to make amends.
As a member of the Clave, Maryse ruled her institute with an iron first and she is guilty of doing so much wrong by Magnus and the downworlders he represents. And yet, Magnus was there for her when she was stripped of everything she had. He'd laid himself bare when he was at his most vulnerable to share his burden and ease some of her pain.
Magnus is hugging her now and he's thanking her again and Maryse feels the prickle of tears sting her eyes.
“Thank you," she whispers back into his ear.
For standing by Alec, even when I wouldn't, she thinks.
Because when it comes down to it, she has done wrong by her children in so many ways, and Alec and Isabelle have always taken the brunt of it.
Maryse loves her children dearly and in her own way she always has. But as a firm believer in tough love, she hasn't always been the best at showing it and her children have paid the price.
While Isabelle hasn’t always been the easiest child to raise, Alec was the opposite. They both were fiercely intelligent and a joy in their own way but where Isabelle was hot tempered and impulsive, Alec had been calm and stoic, tremendously serious for his age and overprotective of those he cared about, especially his little sister. As his mother, Maryse has always wished to see him smile more. As his first in command, she always did her best to snuff out his fire, to mold him into the perfect little soldier the Clave would approve of. She spent years treading that thin line but somewhere along the way, the line blurred and Maryse started to act less as the nurturing mom and more as a drill sergeant.
She’s now ashamed of her actions. She’s ashamed of taking pride in the way Alec’s always been desperate to have everything under control, in the way he learned from a very young age to not show any weakness, to rein all of his emotions in. And Maryse knows she is to blame for most of it because she used to be happy to let Alec play his part so she wouldn’t be inconvenienced by any potential dissidence.
Magnus pulls back, interrupting her train of thought. He gives her a last smile before turning around and after that, he has eyes only for Alec.
Maryse walks to her seat and takes the scene in. There are so many people attending the wedding and she would never have thought she’d see the day downworlders and Shadowhunters would peacefully sit in the same room, celebrating the wedding of two of their own. Another testament to the good work her children are doing to change a world made of arrogance and prejudice, a world Maryse was part of.
She looks at the altar and even though Alec and Magnus steal the scene, she can also see how wide Brother Zachariah is smiling. She can see the tears in Ms Loss’ eyes and she can read the pride and happiness on Jace’s face.
Jace who despite a few bumps along the road, has always stood by Alec and his choices. Jace, her child, who hasn’t been spared from Maryse’s willful ignorance either.
In retrospect, Maryse is grateful for Jace’s arrival in her children’s lives. Jace broke the monotony. He drove Alec to such distraction that he broke his self-imposed role. Around Jace, Alec fumed, he laughed, he let some of that tight control slip. He broke the rules. He acted, in short, like the teenage boy he was supposed to be.
Jace’s influence on Alec used to drive Maryse crazy. She may be grateful for it now but she’s ashamed to remember all the times she took her anger out on her kids, all the times she took her anger out on Alec. Her son has always been an easy person to blame because he doesn’t seem to mind as much as anyone else. In fact, Maryse suspects he's always encouraged it and he's always tried to shoulder the blame for his siblings' actions if it meant keeping them safe. Even now that he’s Head of the Institute.
Thinking back to all the things she's done in the name of duty, Maryse considers herself lucky for Alec's forgiving nature, despite her best efforts to harden him. She thinks of all the unspeakable things she put all of her children through in the name of her angelic duty and wants to cry at the thought they've all welcomed her back into their lives.
Maryse is about to give in to the tears when Alec’s unsteady voice takes her out of her reverie.
“The love I have for you,” Alec says and his trembling voice betrays the emotion he’s feeling.
“Is a love that knows no bounds,” Magnus says, quiet but steady, unable to take his eyes away from Alec’s face.
Maryse straightens up in her chair and watches them say their vows. They say them together, like everything else they do and she can’t help but think that's another statement.
They're equals.
As a former Clave member, Maryse has had to unlearn a lot of prejudice. She's not fully there yet, but she's doing her best and her family and Lucian have been helping her every step of the way. And thanks to them, she can now fully stand behind their statement.
She wipes her tears and focuses on the ceremony and on her boys. They’re still saying their vows and Alec looks so happy he could burst. His eyes are bright, a smile breaks over his face every time he pauses, as if his happiness is too much to be contained. Alec, her boy, who learned at such a young age to school his face and mask his feelings, is now showing them openly and Maryse has never been prouder.
"I am and I'll always be your loving husband."
They say the last of their vows at the same time, slowly inching toward each other, reaching out to grasp each other’s hands as if they can’t bear to be apart one minute longer.
“It is my honor to pronounce you one,” Brother Zachariah says and it is an honor all in itself to hear him say the words.
He’s barely finished to utter the words that Magnus and Alec are kissing and Maryse has to wipe a fresh wave of tears away at the sight of it. She stands along with everyone else to clap her hands and when they pull apart and turn around, the joy on both of their faces takes Maryse's breath away and reminds her of how it felt to be so young and in love.
Alec isn’t even trying to hide his huge smile anymore and if there's one thing Maryse will never forgive herself for, is trying to steal it away in exchange for climbing the ladder of the Clave's rankings. Happiness looks so good on her boy and Maryse will always try to atone for trying to force him in the mold she'd built for him.
No more , she thinks.
Alec is his own man now. A man she is endlessly proud of and one who will hear her say it until her last breath.
Because Maryse can see it now and if she'd been a better mother, she would have seen it sooner. If Maryse had been more observant, she would have known Alec does so much better with encouragement and praise rather than under harsh criticism.
She wipes her tears as Magnus and her son walk by, hand in hand, so happy they're glowing.
Alec catches her eye and she smiles at him.
"I love you," she mouths and his smile widens.
He’s smiling such an open, boyish smile. He reminds her of that little boy who would quietly play by her desk and smile up at her when she’d look his way. It makes her think back to a time when Alec was seven. He approached her desk while she was filling reports for the Clave. At that age, Isabelle would have demanded attention but Alec waited patiently by her side, her little man, already such a good Shadowhunter in training.
She remembers signing the report and in a sudden burst of maternal affection, beckoning Alec closer.
"Come give a hug to mama," she said.
Alec hesitated and Maryse feared all of their hard training had succeeded and her little boy had become too old for affection. But Alec cautiously looked above his shoulder, in the direction of the office’s door and he climbed on her lap, hugging her tight and giving her the same smile he’s smiling now.
Ah, Maryse had thought, heaviness settling over her heart. Not too old for affections then. Just old enough to worry about judgement.
Watching him now, all grown up and pursuing his happiness, the heaviness in her heart is replaced by pride. Pride that fills her to the brim, threatening to burst over as she watches the boys walk away, hand in hand.
She is about to leave her seat to go after them, when an arm finds its way around her waist. Her daughter's. Maryse beams at her, wrapping her own arm around Isabelle's shoulder.
How Ironic that in losing everything she had, she's gained the only things that matter.
Family. Her children's forgiveness. The affection of a good man.
Maryse will always miss her runes and her weapons. She will always mourn the Shadowhunter within herself, the one who was full of enthusiasm and honor and good intentions. She will not miss the wedge the Clave and her own behavior had dug between her and her children. Especially Alec and Isabelle.
Isabelle, who had to go through addiction and withdrawals without her mother by her side. Isabelle, who is so strong and passionate and so fiercely protective of those she loves. Her Izzy, who is now hugging her and grinning, happy to see her big brother's happiness.
"I've never seen him like this," Isabelle says, tilting her head toward Alec's retreating back. "So carefree."
''He's happy," Maryse says and her voice waivers just a little.
"Magnus is good for him," Izzy says.
"They're good for each other," Maryse agrees and a part of her still marvels at the fact she's allowed herself to see it.
Isabelle must have thought the same because there's a hint of a smug smile on her lips, an unvoiced told you so, but there's also pride in her eyes.
"You're going to have to introduce me to your date," Maryse says lightly as she's not about to cry again.
Isabelle laughs. "You know Simon."
Maryse is about to make a joke about proper introductions but it dies on her lips when she sees the hint of uncertainty on her daughter’s face.
''I'm so proud of you," she says instead, reaching out to pull Isabelle closer because none of her children will ever have to doubt her love again.
Isabelle hugs her back tight and when she pulls back, there are tears in her eyes. "You're not doing so bad yourself."
Maryse lets out a wet laugh and takes Izzy’s hand. "Come on," she says. "Let's go celebrate your brother and his husband."
They walk arm in arm to the ballroom and Isabelle excuses herself to go dance with Simon, with the promise to be back soon with some drinks.
Alec and Magnus are dancing, apparently unaware of their surroundings. Alec leans over to whisper something in Magnus' ears. They both laugh at Magnus' answer and Maryse feels lucky to get to witness this moment, to get to be here and share her boy's happiness.
Her gaze sweeps across the room, where all of her children are dancing with their partners, with the exception of Max who is hanging out with a few younger Shadowhunters.
She is so proud of all of them and she has hope that they will succeed where her generation has failed, that they will keep bringing change to their world.
The tragedy and joy of children is that they grow, Maryse thinks. They grow and start to think for themselves and they argue with you. They grow and Maryse has learnt the hard way that you must open your hand and let them fly.
Sometimes, they come back and you can take pride in what they have built from your gifts.
Sometimes, if you are lucky, they teach you instead.