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That was it, you weren't going save me from me. You weren't going to yell at me turn the bomb off, begging on your knees for me to stop. Run into my arms and have us skip away into the sunset. You wanted me to die.
I knew you were a beautiful crazy bitch.
You thought you could convince me that you were a normal human being who doesn't have the taste for blood. But you're just... Not. That's not the Veronica I know. I was on the edge of my seat throughout our whole relationship. I kept on waiting to see if you would try to kill me, or if I would kill you first.
I thought you felt the same way too. Like the times I would crawl through your window and just lay next to you. I swear on my mother's grave, that was the only thing I wanted.
Yeah, that sounds all nice and cheesy, I hope I have my fangirls raving. (That's right, I see what you little shits are doing. I see your all writing you nasty fan fiction, trying to guess how big my dick is. What do you little horny bitches say now? Oh yeah. Sorry to spill the tea, but I'm not going to fuck whatever fan girl is reading this. My dick is reserved for when I get to see Veronica again, bitch.)
But a few times you felt so tense. When I would wrap my arms around you, I noticed a few things you did. Your lips curved upward, you had goosebumps along your arms, and your fist was clenched. I thought that I felt sympathy for a second. Did you think I was going to kill you, sweet Ronnie?
I feel like I should be thinking about if it should have gone differently. But I won't. Knowing that you were crazy was why I dated you. Because you were the pure kind of crazy.
You didn't- and still don't- want to believe that you want to kill people. I tried to make you understand that you wanted to kill people, but you didn't listen. Maybe you couldn't believe it. But I fucking loved you, Veronica goddamn Sawyer. Even though you let me die in front of our high school.
I'm telling you about what I thought about you before I died, Veronica. Before the bomb went off and sent me absolutely nothingness. I don't know what you're doing now. But I hope you still think of me.
Promise me you'll live your dream of, what is it you said? It was," grow up be adults and die," as I recall it? Before you die, tell the other adults that you dated me. For god's sake, Veronica, tell someone what happened before you die. I think it would put both of us at peace.
Before we go to our feelings of peace, or whatever. I want to see you and give you a proper farewell. I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, but I would appreciate it we could have a kiss goodbye. Can you put all that on your to-do-list? For old times sake, huh, Veronica?
Can you do all that for me, Ronnie?